Three's Disharmony

It was a lovely day in Equestria. The sun was shining, and there was a nice cool breeze blowing throughout the land, and the birds were---

“AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!  SOMEBODY HELP ME!!!!!!!”

And... this is me. I seem to be in quite the bad predicament. Heh, i'm sure you all have questions like "How did I get here?" "What am I running from?" "And why the fuck did you even become an author, you illiterate bitch?!" Well, that last one was me. It's a very long story, and hell, even I still have a lot of questions myself. But, since you are reading this, I guess you have time.

It all began, not on Equestria, but on a far, far away planet called Earth.

(Insert opening music here)

So, this is my town, Crystal River, FL, USA. This town doesn't really have much to offer, other than rednecks and boat tours. It’s technically a city, but it’s more like a hick-town with a manatee problem.

And then you have me, about 2 days ago. My name is Paul. I do not have a last name, probably because I was rejected by my parents practically at birth. Since I didn't really know them, I can’t complain because I seem to be making a pretty good life with my adopted parents. They’re really nice people, although sometimes a bit kooky. Oh, but I seem to be getting a bit off topic, here. Where I was heading right now was supposed to be back to my house, but on my way there, I stumbled upon a yard sale. I can never resist a good yard sale. Actually, it was more of a garage sale. I can't even remember anymore.

As I walked in, there wasn't really anyone around, so I just started looking around the garage at all the odd looking bits-and-pieces, When I noticed the old guy sitting near the garage door in a lawn chair with a cardboard box.

“Hello, young man! Please, feel free to browse my various wares.” Greeted the old man.

Looking at him, he resembled the stereotypical hobo a bit. You know Gandalf’s beard? From Lord of the Rings? Well, his facial hair kind of reminded me of him. And along with the mismatched, random clothes, he completed the stereotype. But he wasn't smoking, so the stereotype wasn't complete.

So then I decided to walk around the garage some more, expecting some kind of item to bring home and add to my collection of useless junk. But then, without warning, the old man slammed the garage door shut, locking me in.

‘Aw, shit. He’s going to try to rape me isn't he?’ I asked myself. Just as that thought went through my brain, a hand touched my shoulder. Then another on my head. Even though it was dark,  I knew the old man seemed to be, well, feeling me up. No, now that I think about it, it was more like he was examining me. But, of course, I didn't know that back then. Before he could feel any farther, I pushed him back and barked:

"What the hell is wrong with you, you homeless bastard?!" Now thinking back, since he was in a garage that he probably owned, he probably wasn't homeless. He just gave off that vibe.

He paused, got up, and then continued to say;

"You are perfect. Exactly what I need."

What he did next I thought was impossible. With just the snap of his fingers, he made a burst of light, and the cardboard box was suddenly in his hands. While in a state of bewilderment of what he just did, he continued to say:

"Inside this box contains something beyond your wildest imagination."

He gestured to me to come forward. Without him telling me, I knew he wanted me to take the box from his hands. At first, I felt hesitant, like I was scared to take it, but I just told myself it was just a box. I held the box in my hand for a while, until I finally asked the question;

"So exactly what's so special about this box?"

As I turned around, I saw no one behind me. No hobo looking guy, no one, as if he never was there in the first place.

Now, starting to really panic, I did what anyone would do. I paced. I paced back and forth across the floor, inside the locked garage with the box placed on one of the tables, staring at me as I paced. Finally, I stopped and looked at the box, and began to think. 'What on earth is so special about this box?' I picked up the box again, and inspected it like I was Sherlock Homes. I came to the deduction that it was simply, a plain, un-extraordinary, box. So, with that harmless conclusion in mind, I finally decided to open it.

As I slowly opened the box I prepared for the worst. Nothing could prepare me for what I saw, and was going to see later that day. I peered into the box and saw... nothing. But not just a normal "There wasn't anything in the box." It was an endless void of nothingness. Yet another impossible feat to happen that day. After what seemed like hours, but in reality was probably less than 10 seconds of staring, I decided to put my hand in the box for a feel. I reached my hand in, and felt nothing, as expected. Until something (Or someone) grabbed my hand, and yanked hard. I attempted to reclaim my hand, but the mysterious thing was too strong for me, and pulled my entire body through the box opening, into the extremely-dark-void-of-darkness.

And so, I fell. And continued to fall, just hoping and praying that I wouldn't be killed by a rather unpleasant impact of Floor-Meets-Paul. But, just as I was starting to actually get bored, I stopped. I looked around, wondering if I was dead or something,when a  figure appeared before me. It spoke in a somewhat playful, but old voice:

"SOOOooo, are we having fun in our never-ending fall?"

Fed up with the oddness this day has held for me, I yelled back to the figure;

"Who are you? What are you? Why am I here? Nothing is making any FUCKING sense!"

Again the voice said in it's odd tone: "But where the fun in making sense? Enjoy the rest of the trip, Paul"

"Wait, how do you know my NAAAAMMMMEEEeeeeee....."

As I fell, I slammed my eyes shut as a large, extremely bright light consumed me. Then, everything went black.

"When you wake up, you'll be in a land you've never been in. You'll have a new body. Don't be too afraid, little one, for we shall meet again. That is, after you pass a test of mine. After you pass, I shall contact you, so please. Don't keep me waiting."