Author's Note

As is the case with almost all good wrestling video games, this game comes with a dubious Create-A-Wrestler mode. This of course means that not only will the professional wrestlers as featured in the game will be included, but almost anyone and anything can be featured too!

Also, if you don't know who Kenny is, he just so happens to be a character from the critically acclaimed Walking Dead: Season 1 video game as made by Telltale.

Chapter 10: Create-a-Wrestler: Kenny The Boatmaster

“Ladies and Gentlemen, we got a real treat for tonight. The rising superstar Twilight Sparkle has been issued a formal challenge and is currently in the ring awaiting the appearance of a surprise guest. I’m Jim Ross.”

“And I’m Jerry ‘the king’ Lawler. And you’re watching a special event here tonight! And as a little treat given our new challenger, we thought it would only be appropriate to have a special assistant commentator for the occasion. Allow me to introduce: Oranges!”

The nine-year old girl next to him looked rather disgruntled at this, at least from what little of her face could be seen beneath her over-sized baseball cap. “Clementine.”

“Yeah, Clementine. Clementine, why don’t you tell us a bit about your friend, and do you think he’s going to do good against Twilight here tonight?”

“Well, we were living with a group of people, but bad things happened.” Clementine looked down and twiddled with her thumbs nervously. Her voice became fractured and she closed her eyes to help fight back tears. “But even then, the couldn’t really fight. He couldn’t even punch an old man who wanted to kill Duck. I really don’t want anybody to fight though, especially not the pretty horse. We should be friends because friends don’t fight.”

Jerry Lawler looked with sympathy to the poor little girl next to him. It was plain that she had been through a lot in her short life. Jim Ross, however, probably didn’t care because his ten-gallon hat was cutting off the circulation to his brain which caused him to say “Well that doesn’t bode too well for the challenger. But enough talk, here he comes! The Boatmaster: Kenny!”

A man with messy hair that curled at the ends shoved underneath a trucker cap came out onto the ramp with the most anguished look on his biker-stash face as he just ran up to the stage and quickly got up on the wrestling mat with a mic in hand.

He looked around a bit as the pain grew to anger. “What have any of you done for my family?!” He shouted to the entire crowd, looking with special intensity at his family’s pediatrician that was sitting in the front row. Then, he looked right at Twilight and got even more red in the face with fury. “What have you done for my family? You’re a horse, you don’t even know me! Where’s my boat?”

Twilight was confused and so she backed away. It’s not like she thought she couldn’t take him, it’s just that it’s very clear he’s insane or evil. Probably both.

“Wow JR, that is some real indignation emanating from the challenger.” Jerry Lawler was keeping a close eye on the monitors at the announcing table which gave him a clear view of the two wrestlers.

“Yeah, I’d be angry too if I worked as a fisherman for a living.”

“Actually he never went fishing. In fact he just seems to like boats.” Clementine uttered quietly.

JR stood up in surprise and pointed right at a surprising turn of events. “There he goes, he’s launching with the first attack!”

Kenny lunged at Twilight and began pounding on her face with all the fury he had. Twilight responded by trying not to get hit in her giant eyes. It probably still wouldn’t have hurt, because Kenny was hitting her so pathetically, but still.

She really didn’t want to hurt him badly, but it was clear he needed a nap. So with passed down knowledge from Fluttershy after her days of babysitting, Twilight climbed the turnbuckle while still under the ineffective assault of Kenny and prepared for the body splash.

Kenny miraculously saw this and backed up to await her from the center of the ring. Twilight jumped with all legs spread out so that she would minimize damage when she hit, but this damage transferred onto herself when she hit the empty center of the ring.

“And there Kenny goes, misdirecting that high-risk maneuver and now his opponent is stunned!” Sure, the match was at a snails pace so far but even Jerry Lawler found himself getting pumped.

Kenny hopped on out of the ring and began searching frantically under the fabric skirt.

“Look at that, he’s going for a weapon!”

Kenny pulled out from under the ring a giant mineral block reminiscent of a concrete cube with grips dug out on the sides of it and hoisted it over his head.

“He’s got the salt lick!”

Clementine saw this and then broke out into a huge bout of crying. Jerry Lawler saw this and comforted the poor girl by putting an arm around her.

“Hey there kid, it’s okay. You don’t have to watch if you don’t want.” He fished in his pocket and pulled out some loose change. “Here, go get yourself something from the snack stand, okay?”

JR smacked Jerry right across the back of the head. “What do you think you’re doing?” Jim Ross then handed Clementine a twenty dollar bill. “Here, this’ll get you a handful of popcorn. They really jack the prices up like water during a drought.”

Clementine took the bill reluctantly and then quickly ran off whilst wiping tears from her eyes.

Back in the match, things were really picking up. Kenny was having trouble with the saltlick, but conjured up all the rest of his strength to hurl it into the ring with his full force! It landed only on the edge of the inside of the ring because, as it turns out, Kenny never had that much strength.

He then went inside the ring just as Twilight was getting up and started kicking her in the ribs. “What did you ever do for my family?!”

He went back to the saltlick and hoisted it back up.

“Oh God folks, it seems the boatmaster is going to deliver the Larry Special!”

“This could be it Jim, a promising career cut short. But wait, what’s this?” The attention of the crowd was drawn on a wrestler who had just appeared. “What does this person think they can do? They’re so tiny!”

“Wait Jerry, I think it is-”

“You’re right, it is-”

And in unison, the star commentator team stood up and cheered the name of the new arrival. “It’s Clementine!”

Clementine ran up to stop the markup of Kenny’s body count by rushing up to him, head first, and nailed him right in the groin. Kenny doubled over in pain and the saltlick flew behind him and out of the ring.

“A low blow headbutt! I never even seen a bull do that kinda move, and I’ve seen a lotta bulls in my day!”

“You know, I thought Clementine was Kenny’s friend, but it seems she changed and now she’s turning face!”

Twilight was astounded at her protector, but she knew by now the world was full of unexpected surprises.

Clementine took advantage of the disabled Kenny and hooked an arm around the back of his neck and put the squeeze on him.

“It’s the headlock folks, Clementine seems to be choking him out!”

“Jim, I think we’re about to see a miracle this night.”

“The heck do you mean? I mean, suffocating your opponent is the most boring way to win!”

“No Jim, look!”

Clementine had the attributes that Kenny lacked, the power of the heart, the strength of character, and the pureness of the mind. And with these powers combined, she used her free hand to grab hold of Kenny’s belt and lifted him vertically while keeping him in the headlock.

Another in-unison shout erupted from not only the announcer’s table but also the entire crowd. “SUPLEX!” And the roars from the spectators shook the entire foundations of the arena.

Twilight rolled out of the way as Clementine fell back and slammed Kenny down on the mat with enough force to rumble the ring. She crawled over him, kept his shoulders to the ground, and pinned him.

The referee in his blue shirt suddenly appeared and started slapping the mat. “One, two, three!”

Clementine got off of the villainous boatmaster and started jumping about in her victory. She was soon cut short when the real wrestler, Twilight Sparkle approached her with a look of dedication to her work. She then smiled and lifted Clementine up onto her back using magic and gave her a ride around the ring at a trotting pace. For Clementine, it was one of the best days ever.