A Park Bench, and a Likely Pairing

Though I can't be entirely sure that Rick was at all being truthful at the time I first heard this story, later events have led me to believe most of his story. You see, while I was sitting in the sun doing nothing, Rick was doing the same in a park not far from me. After the Mrs. Butterworth incident Rick had left to search for something to occupy his time. Rick sat down on a small wooden bench, opposite of him was a young, mint green,  unicorn mare, of about twenty-three years old. Without anyone to get a reaction from his antics, Rick lit a cigarette, took an especially long drag of it, and rolled his head back to exhale smoke into the sky. From what hes told me it was some time before he realized that the pony across the bench had been staring at him, and more frighteningly had been moving closer to him. When he looked to her she paid no mind to his realization of her presence, but instead continued to gaze deeply, and intently at  his hand, which rest atop the back of the bench. She slowly lifted her hoof about an inch off the bench, moved it towards Rick's hand. Her hoof hovered for a short time before descending gently unto Ricks hand. Rick responded to the bizarre unicorn with fear, odd attraction, and caution, "Uh, hey there. Something I can help you with?"

"Hands..."

"Yes that is what they're called--"

"Hands..."

"Okay, not sure whats going on here--"

"You have hands!" Rick didn't know what to do so he allowed the unicorn to continue, "Will you come with me to a party tomorrow?"

"Well, erm, I--"

"If you do I'll have sex with you after."

"Well its a little sudden--"

"I'll let you do anything to me... anything"

"Well I am a busy man but you make it hard to resist."

"YES! I have to go tell Bon Bon!" and with that the pony pranced and trotted down the dirt road, without so much as giving her name. The way Rick tells it went more like this:

"Oh Mr. Human, you look so sexy with your hands."

"I know beautiful, I was born this way"

"won't you take me now, here, on this bench"

"No darling, for I am a true gentleman, tomorrow night we shall attend the local festivities, and only once you have seen my true self shall we make love beneath a blossoming cherry tree, m'lady"

"Oh my, your chivalry only makes my loins frothier by the moment. Though I crave you so I will respect the request of such an honorable, and sexy man"

Several hours passed until Rick and carl arrived back outside the library. In that  time I had spoken with Twilight about a great deal of things. We talked about poetry, novels (and comic books), politics, and a great deal about the differences between our worlds. I neglected to tell Twilight about my failures as a college student, or that  I had barely passed high-school. Carl returned first, he joined in to our conversation giving commentary on agricultural technique and the like. For about thirty minutes there was pleasant conversation between us. Twilight Sparkle laughed quite a bit at Carl and my brother-like banter. With all good things, comes a Rick.

"Hey guys, guess what. Papa's getting laid tomorrow!" there was a heavy silence as all parties looked to their feet, "what, you guys not proud of me? I'm hooking up with a unicorn." Twilight was first to break the silence.

"Well its getting a little late, I'd better get back to the library for the night." and with that the party dispersed. As the sun touched down we mounted up for a ride back to our cozy FOB, to a warm-ish cot and a warm-ish meal.