Twilight kills herself a lot

Fluttershy turned out to be the best, but AJ was the worst. Not at first, but now she has trouble not glaring at Twilight and that's not cool. I'd rather she not glare at me either, but I can take it. It's not like we stopped talking it's just there is always this edge to everything she says. Some days it's worse than others. Like today.

"So what exactly do ya want from me. Ah ain't letting ya use the mulcher again…"

Pinkie dry heaved, but there was nothing left.

"…and ah told ya there ain't no way mac is gonna…"

"Oh it's nothing like that AJ." Twi smiled. "We're here to help Pinkie kill herself."

AJ groaned. "Oh yer, that dang fool nonsense on top of even more nonsense. Twi, ah ain't gonna lie to ya."

Then AJ slammed the door to the farmhouse in our faces. Twilight's bad luck with doors continued and she was just close enough for it to smash her nose while I was just out of range even though I was next to her. I mean it's not on the list the princesses gave me but if a door is ever involved in any of her suicide schemes I'm shutting that down right away. Doors just seem to have it out for her, especially if Pinkie is around.

"I guess it's a little late to mention…" Began Pinkie

"Yes." Said Twilight, and sighed. "You did explain things properly right?"

"Yes Twi I wold her about Pinkie and…" My teeth suddenly locked together.

"I know what you mean."

"Huh?" said Pinkie

I worked my jaw a little when Twilight undid her magic. It felt okay. "I could try talking to her a bit more maybe?" I asked

"Maybe but I would really rather…" Twi suddenly smiled. "Oh, I have a great idea."

Then Twilight grabbed Pinkie and flew up into the air. She was really an amazing student, even with non egghead stuff apparently. She was much better than when I first started teaching her. I knocked on the door.

"AJ, come out here right now. I still don't know exactly what Pinkie is planning but it's always worth giving her plans a shot. Well, not bit wise, but you know what I mean."

"Go away sugarcube. Rarity told me what Twi is trying to do, but for the life of me ah can't figure why she wants to stop Pinkie from doing the same thing she is."

"Cause she's nuts, duh. Come on AJ, let me in, talking to you through a door is dumb."

"Ah could sugarcube, but as you figured I was listening at the door still. Which means ah know our craziest friend just took our second craziest one up into the air. Seems like even if neither is planing nothing dangerous that's a recipe for trouble."

I groaned. "Ugh, you're right. Just, stop glaring at Twilight so much. Later."

I flew up, looking for the two ponies. There was only one cloud in the sky, and sure enough Twi and Pinkie were on it. At first I was confused because Pinkie is not even a little afraid of heights or falling, even when she should be. Then I realized while she was spending some time looking at the edge of the cloud it was mostly at Twi.

"Falling hurts, doesn't it?"

"Well it's really more the landing." Twi laughed. Pinkie did not. "Really?"

"She's scared Twi. Not the right time for falling jokes."

"Yea, I mean it was little funny it's just…" Pinkie smiled, but it faded.

Twilight tilted her head. "But if you want to die…"

"I don't want it to hurt, and I never wanted it to be messy because…" Pinkie smiled her eyes lighting up. "I got it. I'm a maneonite." She blinked. "Oh, well not me so much anymore, but my parents are so…"

"The funeral has to be open casket. Yes, that could be a problem. But this is the sort of thing you need to give careful consideration. Getting just the right…." Twilight got a huge smile on her face. "Actually I have the perfect idea."

"Really?" asked Pinkie, ears drooping a little.

"Yes, it's terribly complex and the machine might take a good while to build, but trust me it will leave a pristine corpse with no pain, and I don't even have to use magic."

"Oh, uh, goodie?"

"Oh, of course the calibration could take days, maybe even weeks, but it will be worth it. So are you willing to wait a little?"

"Sure, I mean I'm in no hurry."

"Excellent." Twi clapped her front hooves together, her wings insuring she didn't faceplant into the cloud. "I need to get started immediately."

Then Twilight flew off. I turned back to see Pinkie staring. She then scratched her head. Then she looked at me, eyes seeming to expand, watering.

"She still wants to kill me. Even after all this time…"

"Pinkie. I didn't tell you earlier cause I thought I didn't need to, but Twi has been trying to convince you not to commit suicide this whole time."

She smiled, her hair instantly becoming its normal poof. "Really. That's great news. It means my plan is working. Also Twilight is really good at that. I thought I didn't want to before, but now I really don't want to." She briefly looked queasy again.

"So what exactly is this plan?"

"Well…" Pinkie Paused. "I forget. Let me check my notes and get back to you on that."

Then Pinkie burrowed into the cloud like she was digging though the ground and I dove after her. I really should have expected her not to come out the bottom. And expected her to be gone from inside the cloud too, and nowhere in sight at all. Then I realized worrying about Pinkie's weirdness was not something I had time for, since Twi was alone and most likely not really building some sort of complex death machine.