Twilight kills herself a lot

"Are you sure you're okay Pinks?"

She nodded. We were finally alone outside Fluttershy's house. I know Rarity started the whole making stuff for Twi thing just because she was being dumb about Twi and hated doing it, but recently it doesn't seem to bother her as much. That worries me a little, but I'm sure it's no big deal. Also just because it's technically hair and feathers from Twi's corpses doesn't really make it any creepier than wool. Besides those sheets made of alicorn fur are so soft and warm. At the very least I don't have to worry about it now. Pinkie still looked a little more red than she should, but mostly the blood was gone. I was a little curious if her mane was still just wet enough, or if was dry and still limp. I wasn't willing to figure that out.

"Okay, so I noticed Rarity overacted to your wanting to commit suicide, then seemed to forget about it entirely."

"Yeppers. I told everypony but you my plan silly, so of course she's not worried." Then she gasped. "Omigosh, was I too subtle? Did you not get the hints?"

I laughed. "That was not a problem. So what is it exactly?"

Pinkie stopped smiling for a moment, face becoming rigidly neutral. "I'm gonna make her happy again Dashie. Not just content, but make the smiles all real again. Not just some of them, but all of them."

"What do you mean by…"

"Some of them aren't real Dashie." She was now in front of me, my head in her front hooves, smooshing my cheeks in an uncomfortable way. "She's not sad anymore, but she's not really happy. I don't think she even knows but I have to fix her."

"Pinkie, I know your idea is probably better than mine." That was of course a lie, while I sure couldn’t think of anything worse, Pinkie is at least capable of topping me. "You do remember the last time one of us tried to fix Twi."

"Oh come now Dash." Said and irritating male voice "Just because your terrible plan backfired doesn't mean Pinkie's only slightly less bad plan will fail."

I grit my teeth together and glared at Discord hovering above us. Then I sighed. I wanted to blame him. It would be so easy. But Fluttershy is right. He warned us. He told us the dangers, and AJ and me pushed Flutter to convince him to do it anyway. He's being a huge jerk about the whole thing, but that's the way he is about everything.

"What was the warning again exactly?" I ask

"Oh yes, I am rather proud of that. That curing insanity with chaos magic is much like using napalm to fight a forest fire. There is a way to do it, but it's not a good idea. Of course that's why I liked it so much, but for Fluttershy's sake I warned you."

"Wait a second." Said Pinkie. "YOU DID IT ON PURPOSE?"

I took a step back, my ears folding down at the volume. Discord floated back a bit, his ears falling off entirely. It was refreshing to see dismemberment without any blood. He swiftly grabbed them off the ground, dusted them off, and put them back on the wrong sides of his head, upside down. I almost smiled at that. Then I sighed and used a hoof to guide Pinkie's head back at me.

"Not exactly. Calm down Pinkie."

Discord laughed. "Yes, as chaotic as it might be if I had a choice I would have inflicted her with a far more fun sort of mental…" he did that weird thing with her talons Gilda used to do, flicking two of them up and down. "Illness."

"Disorder." I replied without thinking.

"While I am fond of the word I don't see why you would…" He then laughed. "Oh yes, mental disorder. Normally I'm not fond of making sure I use the proper term, but I believe in this case an exception is warranted."

Pinkie then started and smiled. "Oooo, there are fun mental disorders? I didn't know that."

"That's surprising, but let me give you a few examples. First if she was afraid of the color yellow, then she would have to struggle to talk to one of her best friends."

"Discord, stop it." I said

"Oh, or how about multiple personality disorder. With her powers we might even get multiple purple pony princesses. One might even be a pirate."

"OOO, that could be fun." Then Pinkie blinked. "Wait a second…"

"Then of course she could just be plain old delirious and turn everypony into dragons because she thinks that's what you should be. Or maybe she just runs around quaking, convinced she's a duck."

"Hey, those aren't really fun at all. Poor Twilight." Pinkie frowned. "She's not a duck."

"Well they would be fun for me." He laughed, then let out a small sigh. "Sadly none of those are true, and even worse I might even feel guilty about doing that to her. Seriously, empathy is the worst thing ever."

"And since apparently you missed that discussion, no he can't do anything more to help Twilight. We can't even risk it if we wanted too."

"Yes, I was able to affect her because she had given up, but now she's in a much more interesting positive state, so my magic can't effect her at all. Pity really. It could have been a lot of fun to try until I got it right. Boring once I did of course, but oh the chaos that could have been getting there."

Discord was now looking up into the sky wistfully. Then Fluttershy and Twilight came out from behind the cottage with a big tank of water full of a bunch of dull looking fish. Both were smiling, but Fluttershy had that forced "Twilight is gonna do something scary" smile again. I'd seen it more than enough to tell. Twi waved.

"Hello Discord. Now Pinkie Fluttershy and I were talking and she's right, I'm trying to help you not myself. So I need to be less selfish and try to just help you find the right method for you."

"You you're not gonna blow up again?"

Twi nodded. "Oh yes, that was taking things a bit far. Of course it wasn't that selfish since I already knew that method wouldn’t work anyway, but still…"

"So what are you gonna to do?" Pinkie asked

"Well you did say something about cleanliness, and I have an excellent suggestion. It won't help me because ultimately even though the various digested bits become part of another organism does stop regeneration, it just means I end up with an entirely new body do to the particulars of…"

Pinkie looked a little queasy. "I remember."

"Anyway, the point is it's still a very neat and tidy way to go, and I have a spell to remove the pain so don't worry about that. That's easy to avoid."

Twilight then stuck her hoof in the tank and in seconds it was gone. She pulled out a bloody stump with a bit of bone sticking out. As usual the blood was not gushing nearly as much as it probably should, just slowly leaking out. Oh, now I get it. Of course she got herself eaten by a hydra when she came up with the being eaten idea, but apparently those evil little fish work too. Twi cast a spell and with a "shlorp" her hoof grew back super fast. Pinkie was over in the bushes.

"Told you getting some food to help settle her stomach was a bad idea."

"But you're fine?" she asked

"Twi, not all ponies are as awesome as me."

"Yes, or apparently as amazing as Fluttershy." Discord added.

"I've seen worse injuries. That poor squirrel. Thank you so much for helping Discord. Though he still doesn't appreciate being pink very much."

Discord let out a huff. "I still say he needs to stop whining about that and move on."

"So Pinkie, I'm guessing that's a no."

The only answer to Twilight's question was horrible retching sounds.