Who needs ponies?

(Chapter Three - Home?)

After a few hours of being out cold, I wake up to being clamped to a chair by some glow-y yellow orbs around my hands

"Hello strange being, I am Princess Twilight Sparkle and I am very happy you aren't dead. Please tell me what species are you?" The purple regal looking one states/ asks to me but instead of answering her question I just give her a deadpan look as if to say 'You should bloody know' but after a confused look from her I answer with a question of my own

"Why don't you just tell me when can I return to my home?"

"I'll ask the other Princesses, but while I do that, why don't you have a quick chat with spike about making such a mess of my throne room?" she asks/ answers me with a sly look as the baby dragon walks in with a broom and a very pissed look on his face

"Oi, why would you give me such work to do? Do you have any idea what it's like trying to tidy a mess up and then remove blood from a carpet?" I just give him a look of disappointment and then I notice a large blood splatter on his pink apron I sigh

"Why don't you force a horse..." I start

"Pony..." The baby dragon interrupts

"Pony to help you out then?" I finish

"Because that's not how friendship works!" He says in disgust towards me

"What? That's how it worked back home. Anyway, I know how to get blood out of carpets and clothes" I say in a very matter-of-fact way "All you have to do is get a tablespoon of salt and pour it into water mix them together and pour a little bit of washing up liquid in and then you just have to soak it in the water for a couple of hours, remove then dry it slowly."

"Wow I... er... well thanks... I guess." he stutters out then goes off to try it. After what felt like hours the cyan pony comes in to wherever I was

"If you're here to finish me off hurry it up I don't want to be waiting forever." I say bitterly towards it, but to my shock it says this instead of hitting me:

"I'm sorry..."

WAT??

"P..pardon?"

I'm sorry all right? I thought you wanted to harm us so I acted rashly but what you just did to help spike I.. I... I don't know all right so SORRY now shut up!" she says. I assume they are female because of their voices

"Okay, that is way too weird first you try to kill me then, I survive somehow then, you APOLOGIZE?!"

Shut up retard she might attempt to kill you.. actually carry on I'm sure it'll be fine

Sarcastic cunt

As she leaves she steppes to the side for Princess Sparkle to enter with a grave look on her face

"What's up with you?" I ask half heartedly

"Well, we have talked about it and Conversed with some of our top scientific advisers and we don't seem to be able to send you back..."

"WHAT!!" I shout feeling my eye start to twitch "Quick favor can you lock me in a room with something you want broken please?"

"No, why?" she says as an Einstein like pony comes into the room "Perfect timing Mr Evocation"

"Mr Evocation?"

"He is our magical adviser" she says with a little grin "If anypony can get you home Mr Mystic Evocation can."

"Okay, I'm officially crazy, First, I see my TV fly at me then, I see TALKING FUCKING HORSES WITH WINGS AND/OR HORNS AND NOW YOU SAY THAT THERE IS MAGIC!" I am starting to loose it again at this point, so I stand up and jump down Breaking the chair into pieces Then jumping through the large ass window next to me

Big mistake! I think before falling what seems to be four stories before landing face first into a rose bush and causing my nose to bleed again as well as my arms to start bleeding I stand up to see a small town with a lot more talking horses so I run for my life.