What's good ya'll? The names Rumble and I just turned fifteen years old. I go to Ponyville high and I have no friends, but I don't give a fuck about friends. What? you don't like that I said the word fuck? Fuck you asswipe. Anyway my cutie mark is a thunder cloud because I make the skies rumble when I fly an shit. I always thought that my cutie mark would have something to do with making the fillies shake with pleasure, but seeing on how I am currently bitchless rendered that shit moot. Sometimes I like to write fan-fictions of my favorite show My Little Human Friendship of Badassary. What the hell is that you ask? Well its about six sexy ass female teenagers who can kick all sorts of ass while wearing high heels and dresses.

Needlessly to say I became an instant fan and started my fan-fics on Hum-Fic.net. Unfortunately nopony told me on how completely fucked up the site is as one goddamn fapfic with one like and one view somehow ended up on the featured section and the popular stories list. So being the dumbass that I am I looked at the story, and it was the exact same shit as every other goddamn one-shot fapfic. A pony by the name of Anon Omous goes to the human world meets one of the sexy human teenagers and fuck...That's it.

And so here I am, in my room laying down on my bed smoking a joint and contemplating my life. Even though I have a small following and I am very grateful to them for liking my shit, but damn dude 90 percent of the fans are just horny for human pussy, I bet the humans wouldn't do this shit, ya know if they existed. What? Yes I do have an older brother, but-

Rumble looks over at the clock on his wall, it was 5:30 pm. "Aw shit its 5:30? Fuck all man."

*BANG* BANG *BANG* THUNDERLANE I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE! *BANG* BANG* BANG* YOU LAZY ASS YOU BETTER HAVE CLOUD RUNNERS CHILD SUPPORT! *BANG *BANG *BANG*

Rumble sighs and heads to the front door. He figured that he better get the door before they break it down... again. "Hello Flitter and Cloud Chaser what's up?" He notices a small silver coated filly on a strap next to Cloud Chaser staring at him. "Hello to you too Cloud Runner."

The two mares standing in the door angry expressions instantly turn into smiles. "Hello there Rumble." Greeted Cloud Chaser. "Is your brother home?"

-but he's probably hiding, you see one night after a night of partying Flitter and Cloud Chaser called up my brother all horny and wanted to fuck. Thunderlane of course went because idea of a threesome was appealing hell even I would I do it and I know you guys would do it too don't lie. Well long story short. They fucked, Cloud Chaser got pregnant and eleven months later Cloud Runner was born. All because the condom broke...Ain't that some shit?

Rumble looks at Cloud Chaser who was tending to her daughter. "I'm sorry CC but Thunderlane isn't home right now but I'm sure he'll be back later."

Cloud Chaser gives her daughter to her sister. "Oh is that right?" She gently puts her hooves on his cheeks looking him in the eyes. "Rumble. Is. Your. Brother. Home?" She said it with such calmness that it made Rumble tremble.

"He's in the hall closet!" Shrieked Rumble. "Please don't hurt me!" He may love his older brother but he was NOT dying a virgin.

SON OF A BITCH!

Cloud Chaser grins and opens the closet door. "Hello Thunderlane." She splits apart some coats where the dark gray pegasus was hiding.

"Uh hi?" He said looking around. "I swear I wasn't hiding or anything." Flitter, Cloud Runner and Rumble stand behind Cloud Chaser. Thunderlane glares at his younger brother who only shrugs. "So what can I do for you Cloud Chaser?"

She pulls Thunderlane out of the closet. Cloud Runner looks at her father and starts squealing and holds her hooves out. Flitter gives her over to him and he takes her in his hooves.

"Hey there's my little filly." He said tossing her in the air.

"You know what I want Thunderlane! Don't even play that bullshit." She said.

Thunderlane grimaces and pulls out a bag of bits. "Damn girl." Cloud Chaser takes the bag and starts to head for the door.

"Come on Flitter lets go get Cloud Runner some new baby clothes!" They leave the house leaving the pegasus filly with her father and uncle.

"Rumble." Thunderlane said

"Yeah bro?"

"If you ever have sex, remember, double or nothing" Thunderlane heads to the front room with his daughter leaving Rumble all alone.

Ya know, sometimes I'm glad I never had sex lest I end up like Thunderlane. But I cant help but wonder if it beats using my hoof all the time. What the fuck are you laughing at? Yes I jackoff so? You guys call it clopping? The fuck is that?! The sound that we make when we walk forward? Who the fuck came up with that bullshit? Anyway while Thunderlane was busy taking care of his daughter, I was busy checking up on Hum-Fic.net.

"Son of a Bitch! Yet another fapfic takes first place." Rumble leans on his hoof and taps his desk with the other. "Man why do I even try? One pony cant go against the flow of the fandom." He turns off his computer and gets in his bed. "Why do I even waste my fucking time on that nonsense. And I'll be damned before I write a fapfic." He sighed. "How can it get any worse?" He blinks at the stupidity of his question. "I just tempted fate didn't I?"

Author's Note

And so my get my feet wet in the whole darker and edgier thing. It may not seem that way now. But just wait. Yes I know switching between first and third person is practically impossible but eh have to try somehow. If you would like to help a brother out just ask.