The Ultimate Cliché

Chapter 2

"Uuugh..." My head was throbbing, my back was aching, and I had no idea where I was. Welp. Just an average day for me. I looked around taking in the new sights and smells which where far to colorful for my tastes. In my attempt to stand up I realized that my clothing was absolutely huge on me, well all of it except my favorite flat brim hat and my head phones which rapped around my neck

I was really starting to question what I most desired in life to get myself stuck here, when I saw a pink blur. It looked like a shooting star except it was on the ground and heading straight for me! I tried to get out of the way but my legs did not seem to work. It hit with the full forward force of a bullet, and then some.

"Hi! My name is pinkie pie! You must be new here!" It let in a deep breath, "Do you know what that means!?"

"Hey you look familiar..." Before I could finish my thought process, the horse reached her hand past my field of view, and when she brought her hand back she had a giant blue cannon in her hands. "Wait, how did you..."

"You deserve a pinkie pie welcome!" she began to turn the killing machine so I could see straight down the barrel.

"Wait nnonoonononono!" too late. After a couple of second taken to realize that my head had not been torn off by a lead ball, I was, in fact, covered from to toe in confetti.

"You stupid horse! you almost killed me!"

"H-hey... I'm not stupid." I noticed her hair sink a little, her eyes tearing up.

"hey, hey, hey, wait don't cry!" God, I'm not good with these situations.

"I'm not s-stupid, no matter what you! *sniffle* or the kids at school used to say."

"That's right I'm  sure your very smart!" I tried to put on my winning smile.

"*sniff* You really think so?"

"I know so." That was a close one.

"Oh thank you so much!" she brought me in for a hug. "Come with me, I want you to meet my friends!"

"Uh excuse me?"

"Yep! what up!"

"I don't know how to walk."

After she had gathered all her freinds to meet me instead of me meeting them i tooking them time to worry about Tyler.

"Where the hell was he?" after about 20 minutes every body was here.

The first pony (Pinkie told me to stop calling everybody a horse) to talk was orange with a couple of apples tattooed to her ass. As soon as I saw hers, I noticed all six of them had a different tattoo in the same spot.

"Howdy partner, pleasure to meet 'cha!"

"Hey," I began to ask. "What's with the matching tramp stamps" they all looked at me as if I was crazy. the apple covered one clearly embarrassed and confused asked "Ya' mean ma' cutie mark?"

"oh so that's what ponies call it here, how adorable, way to keep it clean, for the kids!"

"I don't think 'ya understand..."

"Course I do you guys have some sort special bond"

"Exactly!"

"Either that, or you all engage in group sex." I said it as flatly as I could in order to have the most comedic effect. unfortunately no one laughed.

"I hav' to buck some apple trees." and with that she trotted off looking very annoyed.

"Heh, Bucking sounds a whole lot like fu- ah, I see a pattern."

"Hey I don't get it do you guys have like glory holes drilled inside the trees or something, I swear first clopfics, now bucking, what is up with you ponies?" clearly I said something I shouldn't have because the remaining 5 ponies where blushing wildly.

"well uh," pinked shifted her weight awkwardly. "I guess up next is rainbow dash..."

"I'm gonna take a guess and say that it's the one with the rainbow tail." she walked up to me, still a bit pink in the cheeks from my last comment.

"hi, um, I'm rainbow dash."

"why hello there," I said in my most seductive voice "as much as don't like these ponies they sure are cute when they blush. " "aren't you a cute one." I winked at her I saw her wings quiver a little bit, blood rushing to her cheeks then she slowly began to unfurl her wings. I looked at her quizzically. "Hey... uh, what's up with the wings?"

"I think I'm... gonna... go now." Next thing ya know the pony suddenly became a streak of rainbow.

"so..." quickly scanned my surroundings to see how many where left. "Who's next?" I noticed the purple unicorn zip my mouth shut with some sort of purple aura.

"all right mister, that's enough out of you." And with that she took me up to some random tree house tree house to teach me about pony Biology.