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My Name is Keen observation a detective for the ponyville police station (P.V.P.D).I may not look it, with my Long rather ratty Black Mane, but I'm one of the best detectives in all of Equestria. I always work alone in my cases. I don't like someone there asking me stupid questions of what's going on at a crime scene. The night of nightmare night was the start of one of the most brutal killings to ever hit Ponyville...
It was a crisp autumn day in Ponyville,The perfect time to see ponies carving colorful gourds into faces for nightmare night,what no one knew was someone was carving a Young mare on Sore Saddle Street That evening...
"Thwack!"the door crashed open and a black colt with a badge enters the room with a small file in his left hoof. A little nervous he says "Hey uh Keen we have a murder victim in the red light district district of Soresaddle Street"
"Uhhh sure thing sir" he says while riffling through the pages of the file "Victims name was Candy String, A stripper from the knife and apple, she was found dead and brutally sliced open in the middle of Sore Saddle Street."
"well ok then.lets get to the crime scene" I say getting up as we head out the door.
We walked to Soresaddle Street as he filled me in on that there were no witness as everyone was enjoying the festivities going on in Town Square.
We walked up and in the middle of the street lays a Black tarp over the mare "well Dusty lets see the body"I say ducking over the crime scene tape.
a brown colt officer named "Dusty prints" that was waiting for us nodded and said "this ones a brutal one"as he lifted the tarp up.
"Holy mother of celestia!"was all I could think, I see laying in front of me a mare, about the age of 18 maybe 19 with her throat slashed from ear to ear, as well as completely naked with her stomach cut open, And her left hoof severed off.
I trot up and begin to inspect the body."The heart, Stomach and liver are all missing, As well as I'm going to say her T.O.D was about 9:00 Last night" I said looking over the body
"I don't think so, judging from the lacerations this was done with something like a Kitchen knife or hunting knife. This job was crudely done, maybe a amateur" I said leaning back from the body.
"possible that this could be some drunk asshole, or a wannabe maniac" I said under a sigh.I start to look around the crime scene and I ask
"No keen, this was exactly how everything was when the body was found"Dusty said
"hmm,well I'm not seeing anything else around here, get her to the morgue I suppose,I'm going to ask a few questions at the knife and apple,that's where she worked, right?"I say well getting up from examining the corpse
"yes sir the black colt said while nodding"
I walk in and I'm assaulted by the smell of cigarette smoke, booze, and broken dreams." well I found the right place...time to start questioning" I mutter as I take a seat at the bar and look up to the bartender, "I'm looking for the owner of this Joint"
I announce "you're speaking to 'em,Names Hard Cider. How can I help you?" he said looking me over head to hoof.
I look him in the eye and say" I'm keen observation I'm with the P.V.P.D sure you've heard about your workers death?"
"Candy? yeah sad little story. I don't know who would end such a pretty mares life like that" He said with sorrow in his voice.
"well I wanted to ask, Was she working any shifts here last night? at say 9:00?"
Cider puts his Hoof up to his chin "hmm well she got off her shift at about 8:30 had a drink and left around 8:40"
was she talking to anyone at the time?"
Cider shrugged "not really she just had her drink and left"
"Well,a couple people from outta town but I really didn't see there faces, rainbow dash, and sly clop. Dash you can usually find in ponyville these days but she will stop by every so often, and sly runs that small uhh..."adult entertainment"shop across the street"
I look at him blankly and say "You mean a porn shop?"
"uhhh...yeah" Said cider rather awkwardly. I get up out of the seat and thank him for the information.
My next stop was a porn shop to ask this "Sly Clop" for information...man I hopefully no one recognizes me going in...
Author's Note
Thank you ever pony for reading chapter one of my first fic,im hoping to add more gore scene in future chapters (and have the chapters be a hair longer)
Thank you Everypony :)
I trotted out if the Knife and Apple and while doing so I look down the street as I see the body taken away,I slowly walk towards the the door into the Porn shop where this "Sly Clop" works. I reach the door and Slowly open as I do I hear the ring of a bell.
I step inside, The lighting was...well lacking,I look around and see all the porn that a teenage colt could want.then I look to my right and see a Dark ashy colt with a black unkempt mane, similar to mine behind the counter playing a Joyboy.
I clear my throat and ask "Hey,are you Sly Clop?"at this question Jumped and took out earphones that I didn't see.
"God man you scared the shit out of me"he said through heavy breaths.
"Sorry,I want to ask you a few questions,Mr. Clop"
Through a look of irritation he muttered,"Just call me sly"
I fill him in on the murder and that he was one of the last people to have seen her alive.
He pulls out a cigarette and begins to speak "wow man,can't Believe Candy was killed.Yeah I knew her.Before I met my mare i kinda...was a frequent customer of hers" he said while blushing a bit and lighting his cigarette
I raises my eyebrow at him."Prostitution?"I ask.
"Yeah,she would...sell herself for some extra money to pay for rent,or somthing"he says in a quite voice,
"Ah I see.Well would you happen to know if she had any other...clients?"I inquired.
He looks up at me and explains "Well for the most part she kept it professional,I only know she was with the butcher that's on mane street was a frequent one,As well as a friend named Rainbow Dash"
I jolt down a few notes and proceed to ask "is there anyone you can think if whom she may have crossed?"
He pauses for thought and after a few second of pondering he shrugs "I don't think so,she was always a nice mare.Can't think of anyone that would be able to hate her"
"Alright then thank you Mr. Clop" I said while riffling through my notes.
"I asked you too call me Sly" he grunted through clenched teeth as I left the store.
I walked out of the store now with a a few possible suspects,The butcher,Rainbow Dash,And this Sly clop fellow.
"Well I guess my next stops the butcher then trying to find Ms. Rainbow Dash"I muttered to myself while walking down Soresaddle Street.
After walking around for a while I found the butcher shop.Several animal Corpses hung in the window,Some fresh and still dripping a bit of blood
"Well I hope to celestia this is the place,otherwise I get to find another killer..." I mutter rather nervously and walk into the store
"Uh hello I'm looking for the butcher that knew Candy String?"I say rather nervously while walking up to the counter...Just the way he smiled at me made a shiver go down my spine.
"Oh I knew her,she liked to get some fresh sausage a lot,What about her?"I boomed.
"Getting fresh sausage,man that was a bad double meaning..."I thought.
"Well Mr. Uhhh,may I ask your name?" I said somewhat nervously
"Of course! It's Jack,Jack Ripper" he announced almost proudly.
"Well Mr. Ripper,I'm with the P.V.P.D,I'm afraid Ms. Candy was murdered last night,And I wanted to ask you a few questions"as I looked at him I saw his smile quiver and fall
"Dead huh?well what makes you think I'll know anything" he said in a rather irritated tone.
"Well,I'm told from a Anonymous tip,that you were a client of hers-"just as I uttered this he slams his mighty hoof onto the counter.
"That's Bullshit!" He yelled,I could hear the windows behind me rattle as his voice boomed and echoed slightly through the room.
I calmly looked at him and continued "seeing as your a possible client,Giver her "fresh sausage" i thought I would ask if you know of anyone that had it out for her,or if you were on Soresaddle street late in the evening last night"
His mouth turns into a scowl as he grunts through his mighty clenched jaw "Listen pig,I was enjoying myself at the nightmare night festival,And I knew candy well,but never paid her for sex.As for if I know if she crossed anyone,or anyone not liking her,I remember Rarity scoffing at her for having no class in clothing"
"To be fair it is rarity,we kinda have to expect She's going to criticize what someone wears"I said in a smart-ass tone
He was not amused and said with anger growing in his voice "you asked me a question I'm just fucking answering it,Now do you have any other questions?If not I suggest you leave now."
I clear my throat nervously."No further questions.We'll contact you if we need any further information.You have a good evening"I said slowly backing out of the shop.All I saw him glaring from behind the counter as I closed the door.
"Celestia damn he's got a temper,I may have to investigate him further"I say while taking out my note pad
"Well,rarity seems to have communicated with her at one point,maybe I can ask her a few questions,maybe she will also knew where Ms.Dash can be found"I mumble to myself while jotting down a few notes and returning the notepad back into my saddle bag.I look up to see the sun setting over the hills.
"Sigh.Guess in working late tonight,I better get to rarities boutique before it closes."I think as I walk In to the sunset.
Later I walk up to the steps of Rarity's boutique,The sun is barley peaking over the hills as I rap my hoof on the door and her a slight shuffling inside and I see the door swing open.Standing I front of me I see the Marshmellow white Mare named Rarity "Oh good evening Detective,how can I help you?"she asked sweetly
"Hello Ms. Rarity,I'm here to ask you a couple questions about a young mare that has recently been murdered"
"Oh?a young mare murdered how can someone do such a thing"she said with a flare of drama while draping her right hoof over her forehead
"I wouldn't know,that's why I'm here to ask questions,seeing if you happen to have any ideas on who did or possible lead me to someone who does"I said rather bluntly.
She puts her hoof down and asks me politely."well then,would you like to come in?you can ask all the questions you want."
I accept and she Leads me into her shop and has me take a seat on a purple couch.
She sits down into the chair across from me and says "You mean that girl with the Horrible and low class taste for clothing?
I sigh and answer, "yes"
She sadly looks at me and with sorrow filled eyes, "was she the one killed recently?"
"I unfortunately criticized what she wore a lot,saying no lady should where such skanky outfits,I now wish I never said such mean things"she said stilling looking down to the ground.
"Miss Rarity,I'm sure she will forgive you,and you can help me,and the P.V.P.D find the pony responsible,can you tell me,when you did see her would she be with anyone?"I say putting my hoof on her shoulder
She continues looking down and says "yes,I've seen her with my friend Rainbow quite a few times."
I paused and thought "it seems Ms. Rainbow dash knew her pretty well."
I continued"Rarity have you seen Ms. Dash recently?or know where as likes to hang out?"
"Well she's often lazing about In trees,or on roofs,anywhere she can really lay her head.I last saw her a few minutes before you arrived flying toward Soresaddle street for whatever reason." She said as she looked back up to me
The thought hit me"Perhaps stopping by the knife and apple,maybe to see if her "paid fun" would be there?"
I say thank you too Rarity and wish her a good evening,as I get up she places her hoof on my leg and in a sad voice whispers "please catch the pony responsible"
I nod,and slowly leave the boutique,and step out into the dark night.
About ten minutes later I arrive At the Knife and Apple.
"This seems familiar" I say under my breath
Chapter 3:The final chapter
I walk Into the familiar bar and I see a Pegasus mare at the bar gripping Hard ciders shirt "Where the hell is she?" She demanded.
"W-who are you talking about Rainbow Dash?"he stammered.
"Hmm it seems that rainbow dash doesn't know,I guess news doesn't always travel fast." I think.
I clear my throat and walked up behind Rainbow Dash and begin to speak to miss Rainbow Dash "I'm guessing your looking for Candy String?"
She turns around, Looking rather shocked "w-who are you and how do you know her"she yelled.
I continue "Ms dash,I'm with the P.V.P.D,and I want to talk to you for a second,if that's alright"
She looked at me rather concerned.
"O-ok" she stammered as her and I stepped outside to get some privacy.Once outside I fill her in on the murder.
She said "she's dead?" She said in a shaky voice.
I look up "I'm afraid so Miss Rainbow Dash."I sadly told her.
"Do you have any leads" she asked.
"I'm Afraid I can't disclose that miss dash"I said.
She looks down "yeah...I figured,anyway.I knew her well," her paused and after a few seconds of silence.
"We were a bit of a couple" she said rather quietly like a Philly in a school yard.
"Really?so you know who she talked to rather often?or who didn't like her?"I questioned.
"Yeah,she often would...work?i guess you could say,with sly before he met his girlfriend,she also talked with that creep Jack rather often.other than that though she kept to herself"she told me.
"How exactly did Jack act around her?" I inquired.
"I don't know she would often go in,get some sausages,and leave.I think he had a thing for her,every time candy was at the Knife and apple he would be watching her."
I paused for thought and begins to ponder "how he could have a motive,But I mean Jack Ripper that's to obvious of a name that The Author....I mean fate would have chosen"
"Anything else you could tell me about him?"I asked.
She looks down and puts her hoof on to her chin,"hmm,well one night I came to pic her up and gave her a peck on the cheek,I saw him just sitting across the bar,just glaring at us"
"When was that"I quickly asked.
She shrugged "I dunno,maybe two nights ago?"
I Jolt down a few notes as she continued "I don't know he's always acted a little odd.Have you thought to ask him a few questions?"
"I have" I said while my mind wondered off to think about returning and seeing if I can look around,I shutter at the thought.
I spoke as I closed my notepad,"Thank you for your information miss dash,I'm going to have to get back to the office,you have a good evening"
She spoke and said with a small voice "You too,please catch the pony who took my Sweetheart away."
I nod and say I will,as I walk back to the police office.
I walk Into the police station ready for something to eat "Hello there,you come her often"I say to a plate of doughnuts.
While reaching for one of the Delicious glazed ring of dough Dusty prints rushes in and announces "Keen!perfect timing,I just got a call about another victim!"
I sigh "Give me details Dusty" I say while grabbing a doughnut.
"The Hay-Z in motel,Just off of Mane Street,a hooker was found dead I'm her room she checked into with a client"
I take a bite of my doughnut "lets check it out."I say muffled as my mouth was full.
And all I can now say is the scene I saw was the most horrifying and gruesome scene I could imagine,I saw in the room was a bloody pulp on the bed,this poor mare was disemboweled halfway,to where her intestines her half hanging out,he throat also slit eat to ear,her arms and face were skinned to where you could see the muscle tissue and dried out eyes staring into blank space,as well as her left hoof was severed and missing.
"Oh dear celestia" I said covering my nose and mouth to keep from smelling the blood and viscera.
After examination of the room all that was found was a bloody butchers cleaver,we asked at the front desk for details on who this hooker was with,and she said that the colt she was with was a chubby grey colt...
"Son if a bitch!" I yelled.
Dusty looked and me and asked what's wrong,once I filled him in on my experience with jack he cocked a eyebrow and said in a condescending tone "really?a butcher in ponyville,where everyone is a herbivore,I thought you were one equestrias greatest detectives"
I looked at him and say quickly and flustered "I just say that to sound better ok?!I mean it makes my opening to the story sound better!"
He looked at me confused "story?"
I raise my hoof up to my forehead "that's not the point!anyway start searching for this colt,ill head to to his shop"
Dusty said rathe strictly "You need a search warrant to enter his sh-" I Interrupted him by dashing toward the door.
"Fuck the search warrant!"I yelled while running out into the darkness.
I arrived at his shop and see that the corpses that were hanging were gone,I smashed through the door expecting to see his chubby face scowling at me,then leading into epic showdown as a finale,but no...I entered the shop to see that it was completely empty except for a note it read:
Looking for little ol me?By the time you realize that your logic fell through.what with the kinda big plot hole and everything earlier in the story,I'll be at the ponyville train station -Jack Ripper P.S. You really didn't guess me?i mean what kinda name is Jack Ripper?"
I look up from the paper and mutter to myself "that son of a bitch is mocking me!"
After pausing for a moment I realized that the train hasn't run through yet,
"he may still be at the station"
I run as fast as my hooves can take me to the train station and see him holding a large white sack,that was dripping...
"FREEZE P.V.P.D!" I yelled.
Just then I hear a yell "This is for killing my candy you dick!" And I see a rainbow streak the platform and I see Jack knocked flat to the ground and rainbow dash sitting on top of him
"How exactly did dash know where he was and that it was him...meh all logic kinda went down the drain since chapter two"I thought.
I trot over to the mighty colt and take his bag from him and look inside.I saw the two mares hooves,skin,and other organs.It struck me as he could have been doing this for a while,but got too lazy to hide the most recent body's.
"Your under arrest for the murder of 2 or more mares"I say while handcuffing him.
"Miss dash would you mind helping me get this trash to the police station?" I ask.
"It would be my pleasure" she proudly stated.
-2 weeks later-
Once we got Jack we made sure he got his trail,he was found guilty,sentenced to 2,000 years In the dungeon with princess Celestia extending his life to make sure he pays that time in the dungeon,and all well.All thanks to me Keen obser-
"What are you muttering about"rainbow dash suddenly interrupted
"you really didn't have much of a clue as to what was going on,or even did much"she added
"...Shut up this is my story and there for my ending" I grumble
"Fine." She sighed
Now where was I?oh yeah,so the day was all well and good...until the next case...
Author's Note
Thank you all for reading this story
~Toxic Charm
