Viva Los Pegasus

I walked unsteadily through the halls of my apartment building. My last night's stands joining me as we walked towards the elevator. Two mares, a human girl and some half pony half dragon guy who helped me tag team them. I lead the group towards the elevator, jamming the main floor button like mad and resting against the wall.

The lift-ful of pussy was rather awkwardly quiet. "...So, half and half, you got a job?" I asked the hybrid child. "Cause...we're gonna need extra security for the...what is it? A year?"

The quadrupedal claw kid took a step back, "I uh...sure? I mean, you'd actually hire me?"

I scratched my head, still slightly fucked up from the previous night. "Yeah...why not? Do people like...get on your case about the whole, my mom fucked a dragon, thing?"

The colt got a little flustered, "Actually my mom is a drag--"

"Dude...it really doesn't matter. I had my hand in places that should probably make me want to cut it off, if I can deal with that, I can deal with some pony with a freaky tail and claw hoof things."

The older colt looked down at his hooves, tightening up his fingers. "They're not really hooves...everyone just--"

"Kid, I don't care. You're in Los Pegasus, you do whatever the fuck you want, ain't no one gonna stop you unless you start raping or murdering." I leaned back against the wall and looked at the ceiling. "Fuck...this god damn elevator...." I looked down at the dragonborne, "Shouldn't you have wings? Coulda' flown us down by now."

"I just--"

"Shut up." I grumbled, "Kid...I'm still coming down so just agree with me."

"...But that--"

"And don't expect me to make sense. Just find some pony named Tenor and tell him I said you can work security." I ran my hand over my face, pushing back my hair, "You get to push ponies around and touch gross ass people that get in fights. How fun!"

The dragonkid looked around, trying to catch the rather embarrassed girls' attention. "So, I have a job, from getting in a orgy?"

I pulled my glasses on, trying to hide my bloodshot eyes. "Networking kid, life is all about networking. And luck, and stupidity, and apparently ponies, but I think that last thing is tertiary." I scratched the side of my head, letting my wrist press against my temple, "Whatever, tertiary, means."

The rest of the ride down was quiet. The girls not wanting to talk and the dragonkids brimming with excitement over his new job. Little did he know working security in my club would probably be one of the worst jobs of his life, but why ruin his fun. Hybrids like him were rare, having one on staff would be fun until he quit.

The elevator popped open to Tenor, standing angrily and tapping his hooves. "DJ, what in Tartarus?"

"Tenor! We got security man, this fucker." I kicked the dragonkid out of the elevator. "How goes the mop hunt?"

Tenor took a step back, "Mop hu- the janitor you mean?"

"Yeah, mop slaves. We got enough?" I asked, giving and over-exaggerated step out of the elevator.

Tenor rolled his eyes, "Mop slaves, lovely. Here, applicants." He pulled a bunch of papers from his jacket pocket, "We only need one or two, I'd say two--"

"Holy shit, Shimmer...why the fuck is this fabulous bitch trying to be a janitor?" I pointed to the first file, some mare named Sunset Shimmer. "Fuck that noise, hire her, we need more hot bitches covered in semen!"

Tenor cringed, cocking his head slightly and giving me a worried look, "George...how high are you right now?"

I started snickering, "I'm like a five...maybe a se- six- no...sex worked." I tossed the files back at him, "Anyways, hire that one and this fucker, and someone else. Like I said, I love you...physically, and that means I trust you. So sort this stuff out and let me make the money."

Tenor looked down at the files, then to the dragonkid. "...What happened to him?"

The dragonkid took a nervous step back, "He uh--"

"I snorted half an eightball off a mare's ass crack! I'm fucking flying still." I yelled, throwing my hands out and mockingly gliding around the apartment entry. A stallion in a hoodie stopped and stared at me. "...Fucker, I will rape your face you don't stop staring. Fucking undressing me with your eyes--"

"George!" Tenor snapped, crushing my foot with his hoof. "Do you need me to call someone?!"

I took a few steps back. "...Dude, that hurt bro. Fine, I'll go get this shit sorted out be a doc. ...You get my orders?"

Tenor rubbed his face with his hoof, dragging it down his muzzle. "Something about pills and condoms...."

I nodded. "Not for me bro, for the club. I read up on this Roost thing, shit is gonna be wild."

"...So what, you want machin--"

"Dude." I ducked down, putting my hand on his head. "I might be a psycho...but we gotta think about the kids. We can't let half of Equestria get knocked up just because ponies wanna try and have fun. I mean young-dragon-kid here is gonna be saving mares from getting raped in the bathrooms...I'll be keeping an eye on the stupid youths and trying to make sure no on dies. The janitors are gonna keep everyone from getting si-- dude...we should send day one profits to the clinic man...."

Tenor cocked an eyebrow, "That's...uncharacteristically good of you. What happened?"

I started laughing as I grabbed his horn, "I got fucking high as shit. Everything seems like a great idea right now."

"Wait so are you serious about the mon--"

"Fuck yes I'm serious about the money. Have you seen the ticket sales since this Roost thing started winding up? It's not even started yet and we're booked solid for a month! And...last time I got chlamydia they helped me out...so yeah, donate the fuck out of them."

Tenor smiled lazily, "That's great...now really, who is this?" he nodded his head towards young-dragon-kid.

I stared at YDK, staring at him. "...He's...Young-Dragon-Kid, YDK, Yuduk...."

"My name's Scal--"

"Yuduk...." I stated, standing up. "Codename Yuduk. And that's not just because I think your real name probably sucks. People find out you threw them out of a club you usually get some shit. Granted you're not exactly going to be hard to find, but still." I looked around the entryway, "...So...I'm gonna go get my systems flushed. Dragonface, you wanna come?"

Yuduk looked at me, "I don't--" he stopped dead, his light grey coat turning a bit green, "Okay--yeah, that sounds like a good--" He was cut off as some beige mess spewed from his mouth, splattering against the tile floor of the apartment lobby. "Oh dear Luna--"

"Holy shit...fucker ate my watch." I laughed, watching as a cheap broken watch floated by, "I thought I'd jammed it inside one of the girls...how the fuck did you get it!?"

"Holy crap, do I need to call an ambulance?!" Tenor snapped, watching the puking dragonkid spit out a bright red mess.

I started shaking my head, "We were drinking these stupid red drinks...like, ninety percent food coloring, he's fine."

"Aaaauaugh!" Yuduk yelled, finishing up, "Dear bucking Luna's ghost!"

"See...fine.... Now someone should probably clean this up." I started off towards the door, "Come on Dragonface," I held the door open, revealing the bright sunny beach of Los Pegasus. Every species dressed up in bikinis and clubbing attire. "Fucking Viva Los Pegasus!" I shouted, stumbling down the concrete street towards the clinic. "Fucking love this place!"

Little by little we made our way through the slightly empty streets. The Roost wasn't on yet, it seemed like the calm before the storm. Soon enough this place would be full of every type of person, from club mares, beach ponies, slutty human bitches in undersized bikinis, griffon thugs, and above all else, sex, drugs and clubbing.

The tall buildings that lined the waterfront would burn forever, the beach would witness untold stories, rape, sex, drug abuse, assault, love, hate, everything one could expect from the young and reckless. And we were nothing if not young and reckless, and maybe a little fucked up.

"Young-Dragon-Kid...shit is gonna be crazy. Like...wild as fuck!" I kicked my leg out, throwing my arms up in a cheer as I walked towards the clinic. "But always remember...fuck the adorable police...and thank the doctors. And I mean fuck them as in go down on them...because those fuckers are gonna have a rough time soon enough."

Y-D-K nodded, "Uh...wait...so- like if they're on duty?"

I slowly turned my head to face them, "Dude...don't be stupid. You flirt when they're on duty, you eat pussy when they're not, and if you're lucky you get to dip yourself after that." I turned back to the path, "Man...now I'm horny and hungry.... We should go get chicken or something...."

Y-D-K stumbled hazily around me, "Aren't we- to the doctror?"

"...Oh yeah. But I don't think he's gonna wanna bang.... Eh fuck it, the nurse is hot." I took a hard left and turned back away from the boardwalk. The early morning sun not yet lighting up the beach and the last few of the night dwellers heading in.

Never a more diverse place, never a more family friendly place when not going mad. "Man...you know when all this is done...I wanna go out east...settle down in the suburbs...have a wife instead of a girlfriend...and maybe stop with the drugs...."

Y-D-K just stared at me, head cocked and right eye only half open, "What...dude...what?"

"...Eh, maybe when I'm old. I mean...DJPON-3 is still going...and she's like...twenty seven." I scratched my head, "But she's like...got a kid...and a husband.... I kinda want that ya know?" I rubbed my eyes and readjusted my glasses, "Oh well, good pussy ain't gonna go to waste while I'm around!"