Heaven? Hell? Nope, Just Racist Ponies

by The Dead DJ

Chapter 1: The Best Day Ever

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"Ok, let's look at the list one more time." said Rick, looking down at a crumbled peace of paper.

1. BARTETT M82 50 CAL. and BERETTA 87.[X]

2. Combat Knife. [X]

3. Gas Mask and Gear. [X]

4. Snack. X

5. Ammo. X

6. Backpack, Supplies, and jacket. [X]

"Everything seams to be here. Thank god." mumbled Rick, stuffing the paper in his coat's pocket. He then grabbed his guns off of a old wooden coffee table and got off of an old, stained, and a little torn couch. He then put on his backpack, walked out of an old darken wood door, as soon as Rick got done locking the door, he took a deep breath of the fresh cold morning air.

Of course this deep breath was taken behind a black Toxin Hazard Gas Mask that connected with his Toxin Hazard Suit. He wasn't going anywhere without his hazard suit, especially after a freak storm. Everything was soaked top to bottom the last night's freak storm and the water probably had toxins left in it from the Cold War. Rick knew too much of the effects of toxins and the pain that came with it.

"Perfect day for a sneak attack on those damn thieves." He thought as he looked around to see that it was a gloomy, fogy, damp morning. He had bean planning this attack for three months. Three months sneaking, planning, tricking, and almost getting killed in the process. Rick had made them think he was part of a group that was at least 60 miles away or so. He had tricked the two groups to wage war against each other for various reasons. Rick had this whole thing planned right down to every signal detail. Everything was going according to plan.

☢  ☢  ☢  ☢  ☢  ☢  ☢  ☢  ☢Three hours of hiking down later

Rick had been hiking down the rocky, muddy, mountain. His Grandpa's old house had bean near the top of the mountain and it had always been tough to get up and down it. But the storm made it even harder to get through. But he finally made it down and began to sneak through the thick, lush trees. He kept his head low as he sneaked through the thick brush of woods.

Rick had memorized these woods when he was a kid and he knew almost every part of his grandpa's land. He knew where the best hunting spots where at and knew where the dear migrated at. These memories where now nothing but a blur of the beautiful and happy times of the past. But now he was in the future of horrors and dangers that plagued the world that Rick now lived in. He sighed and began to move on again, focusing on the glorious plan ahead of him.

It had bean a ruffly two hours until he came to his planed sniping spot. It was in a tree fort big enough to fit him and was in the shade of a larger trees. Plus it was hidden very high that he almost didn't notice it. It also had a full view of the old factory that was the fort of the gang of thugs. The factory was an old, steel rusted, three story building. The factory was a logging facility and was prospering until the war.

There weren't that many patrol as usual. Rick only saw three patrol groups. The groups had five to eight people in each group. They had there particular weapons, like AK-47s and FIVE SEVENs, and M1014s. These weapons where the usual in these groups. But that's not what he was aiming for. Onetime, Rick saw them carrying PKP PECHENEG into the factory. After 30 minutes of playing the waiting and watching game, as he liked to call it, he saw movement up on on the dirt road.

There where three white pickup trucks with gun turrets on the back and a gray armored bus, filled with men. The group began to do a formation of some sort. The bus made a sharp right turn, blocking the road, while two of the trucks parked next to the armored bus. The third tuck was taking out one of the patrol groups. Men started to run out of the armored bus's doors. They then started their assault onto the factory. Rick could make out 25 to 30 men running up the hill, towards the old factory. Rick could make out that some of them had Grenade Launchers on there guns. Now was his time to get into the battle.

Rick Climbed down the rope ladder and ran to the edge of the woods. He then keeled, looking through the scope of his  BARTETT M82 and aimed it at the truck that was killing off the patrol groups. He aimed at the head of the gunner. He pulled the trigger and the gunner fell off of the truck with his head no longer intact with his body. Rick quickly aimed at the driver and pulled the trigger again. The bullet hit the head of the driver, splattering blood allover the trucks windows. The truck had made a quick turn to the right and did some barrel rolls, crushing what was left of the patrol group. Rick then made a fast sprint to the turnover truck and looked over to the battlefield. The rest of the battle was at the front of the building.

"All is according to plan-" His thoughts where interrupted as he heard a faint help me. Rick turned around to see a man on his belly, chocking and coughing up his own blood. He was crawling over to rick, bagging for his help. Rick walked over to him, knelled down and said.

"You know, I heard the same thing come from my friends as you guys tortured them. But lucky for you I have mercy on my enemy, unlike you bastards." at that last word, Rick plunged his Combat Knife into the man's skull, slowly twisting it and plucked it out. Rick then stroked his Combat Knife agents the tall dry grass, cleaning the bit's of brain and blood off.

He got up and ran across the field to the factory's back door. The door was an old rusted steel color and hung on it's rusted hinges. Rick took a step back, raising his foot and slamming it onto the door's doorknob, braking it off. He then grabbed his BERETTA 87 and slammed into the door. Rick aimed down the scope of his BERETTA 87 to find something he didn't expect.

The room had beds along the sides walls, most of them full of bloody bandaged bodies. In the center of the room was a bed with a man in it. The man had his entire right arm torn off and was coughing up blood. Then two man came into the room holding a man on a stretcher. Rick then aimed and fired two shots. They both fell dead to the floor with a bullet wound to the head. Rick then walked through the old factory, aiming his BERETTA 87 at every corner, making sure that there weren't any of those bastards in his way.

When rick opened the door to the garage, his jaw unhinged and he was left gasping at the site that he saw. There where gun racks hanging allover the walls. He could see military boxes of ammo and explosives stacked on top of each other. He saw 2 PKP PECHENEG on a steel table. But then he saw a fully armored juggernaut suit hanging on the wall. He then caught sight of a armored army truck.

"Oh. My. God. I'm in Heaven." said Rick, with an evil grin coming onto his face. He then began to start grabbing everything he could fit into the truck. He grabbed at least one or two of every gun he could get his hands on. Most of what Rick grabbed where assault rifles like M4A1s, M16s, and SCAR Hs. He Grabbed a few of his favorite Pistols like, M1911s and .44 MAGNUMs.

He even grabbed two PKP PECHENEG and 5 big army duffle bags of ammo, equipment, food, and water. He stuffed the armored juggernaut suit into the trunk with over a dozen grenades and a few packs of C4. Rick saw a dozen of three gallon gas cans and filled up the truck with gasoline and found the keys to the truck. He had nearly taken half of all of the things in the garage and stuffed it all into the truck.

He began to hear the battle get closer, as he heard bullets flying in the hall ways. Rick hopped into the truck and started it. The truck gave a loud mighty roar that made rick's evil smile even bigger.

"Booya baby!" said Rick as he slammed his foot onto the gas. (Or as he liked to call it put the pedal to the metal.)

☢  ☢  ☢  ☢  ☢  ☢  ☢  ☢  ☢

"Come back here you BITCH!" yelled a man in a black jacket, running after his speeding green army truck. He soon stopped running and fell to his knees.

"See ya latter fuckers!" shouted Rick at the top of his lungs, soon making his way off of the dirt trail and onto the road. He soon began to pick up speed at 30 miles an hour.

"This. is. THE BEST DAY EVER-" Rick was cut off by a bright blinding light that appeared right in front of him. He then felt some sort of energy flowing through every part of his body. And then, in an instant, he felt his whole body being thrown forward. But was stopped by his seat-belt. He felt the wind get knocked out of him at the impact of him and his seat belt.

"God...What happened." mound Rick as he unlock his seat belt and leaned against the truck's door, witch apparently opened. Rick then fell out of the truck and rolled onto his back.

"God why?" mound Rick. He felt like a concussion grenade/flash bang grenade hit him in the head. His vision was very blurry and all he could hear was a high pitch ringing. He got up, aimed his BERETTA 87 and said.

"WHOEVER JUST FUCKING FLASHED BANGED ME IS GOING TO FUCKING DIE!!!"

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