The Future Sucks

“Another boring day over, another shift begins” thought Sweetie Belle as she sat in her dressing room in Sugarcube Corner Nightclub that also served as her sleeping quarters. She stared into the mirror looking into the eyes of an adolescent marble unicorn with a shoulder length curly lilac and pink mane with barely visible bags under her eyes and a cutie mark in the shape of a microphone concealed under her bright purple dress. “Am I destined to work in this two bit joint for the rest of my life” she wondered “I suppose so. I won’t be able to get a better record deal. Not while my deadliest rival is the most powerful pony in Equestria.”  She doubted she would be working at all if her employers weren’t distant acquaintances of hers as well as operating outside of Diamond Tiara’s laws. Once respectable businessponies, Pound and Pumpkin Cake were faced with the family business being absorbed into the Tiara Corporation and so turned to the wrong side of the law to stay independent. Their personalities certainly fitted this lifestyle; Pound was a bruiser while Pumpkin hit on anything that moved. These two managed and protected the business but she was the one who bought the crowds in.

Her musing was interrupted by somepony knocking on the door. Four knocks. Pip’s knock.

“Come in” she said.

The door opened and a young stallion with a slightly messy brown mane came in holding a rose in his mouth. “Hey Sweetie” he said in his sexy voice, his mouth full of stalk.

“S’not nearly as romantic when you speak while holding the rose” she said.

He crossed the room and put in in her mane. “How’s that” he asked.

“As romantic as the first time you’ve done it” she replied and when he looked upset she added “and it never gets any less so.”

“Thanks” said Pip, blushing. Then he said out of nowhere “Lets run away, Sweetie.”

“What?”

“Lets run away. Live on the road. We got no mouths to feed except our own. We’ll live as nomads wandering the earth and Diamond Tiara need never find us.”

“I dunno, Pip. What’ll we live on? Will the Cakes come looking for us?”

“We won’t need to worry about them. They don’t have half the resources that the corporations have. Besides we’ll live off the land or borrow from those who can afford it.”

“You mean steal stuff?!” Sweetie Belle sounded shocked.

“Only from those who deserve it. Think about it. No superiors, no rules, just the two of us. What do you say?”

Sweetie Belle couldn’t deny Pip was using near infallible reasoning, but she still didn’t know if she was ready to go on the road as an outcast. Yes, her boyfriend would be with her, but would it be enough.

“I dunno Pip, I may need time to think. Anyway its almost time for me to start singing” she replied.

“Ok” he said “meet me round back after you’re shifts over and we’ll talk about it some more.” He gave her an affectionate peck of the cheek and then left hurriedly.

*

The audience was still cheering and calling for more as Sweetie Belle left the stage and went into her dressing room. She’d made up her mind. She couldn’t stand it anymore. All those stallions enviously ogling her like a porcelain doll in a music box. She was going to run away with her coltfriend and there was nothing that Diamond Tiara, the Cake Twins or the “Lord Protector” could do about it. She placed the rose in her mane, then dashed around the room gathering the items that she would take on her trip. Her sheet music would make good fuel for a campfire and of course whatever food or drink was left in the cupboard. The clip-on switchblade which the Cakes issued to all personnel for self-defense was already on her hoof. Anything else she figured she could leave behind. She stuffed all her items into a saddlebag then snuck through the corridors and through the back entrance into the back alley. There she hid her saddlebag in a nearby dustbin and waited for Pip to arrive. The sound of her not as envied successor drifted through the windows. Sweetie may not have been the only entertainer at SugarCube Corner but she was defiantly the most popular. Must’ve been due to the fact that she was a professional showgirl trapped in a seedy nightclub, Diamond Tiara’s invisible prison. But she was about to break free from her clutches. She was going to go on the run with Pip. She was going to…

“Hey there, Sweetie.”

That sounded too deep, too perverted to be her Pip. She turned around. Two of the usual consumers were standing in the entrance to the alley. She didn’t know their names. But then she didn’t need to seeing as how they’d supposedly conquered a mare like her in a darkened alley.

“Listen I know what you want. Its obvious what you want. But I won’t go down so easily” she said, barely containing the panic.

“Come on, Sweetie Belle we just wanna talk to you.” One of them said as they closed in on her.

“I’m warning you back off” she said, now more forcefully. She twitched a muscle in her front leg and the knife flicked out “My employers don’t let their personnel go unprotected in a place like this.”

Suddenly she felt strong hooves grab her from behind and a clear urban-sounding voice whisper in her ear “drawing weapons on law officials. Now we have the perfect excuse to put you and the Cakes behind bars.”

So this was all just a set up. How much of this was real, was Pip in on this, did he lead her into a trap. Then the officer grabbed her tighter and took a long draft through his nostrils.

“No fair, officer” one of the thugs said “Deal was we’d get a piece of the action. You’re stealing our fun.”

“And you shall have it” said the officer. He repositioned his hooves to make this possible. Sweetie stole her chance and kicked her attacker in the shins. He weakened but refused to collapse.

“Oh so the cat has claws.” said the officer “I like a little fight in my mares.” The two cronies started to converge on Sweetie Belle. She was well aware of their intentions now. But she wasn’t going down without a fight, nopony would. But just as she was about to cry for help, a dull thud sounded followed by the swishing of a cape akin in that moment to the rumbling of thunder. All four looked at the location of the noise. A lithe athletic pony was now walking slowly out of the shadows of the alley towards them. It was unclear whether he or she was pegasus, unicorn or Earth pony as its dark floppy hat and cape obscured most of its body. The rest was covered by darkened synthetic armor and a black skull-mask which covered it entire head. A yellow oval of its chest was embossed with a black capital M and its hooves were marked by polished fighting horseshoes.

“A fine state this town has become indeed” it spoke in a raspy voice “an officer of the law ganging up with two streetrats to assault a humble club singer.”

“She’s been convicted of threatening said officer and with the possession of an unlicensed weapon” said the lawpony in question “and she’s mentioned her employers issue these to their staff as well.”

“From the looks of things she has good reason to have a knife” said the stranger “and if the ordinary citizens have to protect themselves from their supposed protectors as well as the villains then they themselves have become villains and the sheep must become their own shepherds.”

“What does that even mean” asked the officer.

“Basically it means its up to ponies like me to kick your flanks back into shape” the stranger replied as it advanced on the party.

“Listen buddy, you’re threatening a member of the Lord Protectors security force…” the officer began but before he could continue the masked figure leaped over him and kicked him in the back of the head. He staggered dropping Sweetie Belle to the ground. As he stumbled around his two cronies started on the stranger but the stranger charged as well and swung her right hoof. It connected with the respective ponies jaw with a gut wrenching crunch and he fell sideways into his companion. They fell into a heap before getting up and running away. The figure now turned to the fallen law enforcer now just beginning to get to his feet.

The stranger flipped him over, growled “anypony who must say he enforces the law is no lawpony at all” and stamped hard on his face. He slumped on the ground unconscious, several teeth missing.

Sweetie Belle meanwhile was backed up against the wall, breathing heavily her now free switchblade pointing stiffly outwards. “G-Get away from me” she stammered as the stranger advanced on her.

“Ease up kid. I ain’t gonna hurt you” it said walking towards her.

“Who are you?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“I would have thought my appearance would ring a bell.”

Sweetie thought hard but not for very long. Her sister had once told her about the time Rainbow Dash had become too boastful and her supposed friends had decided to one-up her by donning the mantle of a masked hero known as…

“You’re the Mysterious Mare-Do-Well aren’t you” asked Sweetie Belle.

The masked figure chuckled. “Darn right. Except unlike last time Ponyville needs it vigilantes. He what's up?”

A morose disposition had come over Sweetie Belle and tears had started to come to her eyes “Sorry” she said “just thinking about my sister and the old days got me all teared up.”

“Sorry” said Mare-Do-Well “Well you’ve been through some bad stuff tonight. I think its best if you come home with me. When that officer wakes up the Cake’s will be taken down and so will you if you’re still around. My hideouts on the outskirts of town better hide there until this dies down”

Normally Sweetie Belle would have been hesitant about this kind of proposition but she figured in this case she could trust this particular vigilante so she accepted. “Just one thing” she said “Where’s Pip.”

Mare-Do-Well turned to face her and said “On his way to the morgue. Once he got you into the alley he’d outlived his usefulness.”