The Future Sucks

Pinkamina Diane Pie sat in her office in the Ministry of Public Relations waiting for that moment when the Lord Protector and his cabinet would begin their meeting. A lolly stick hung out of her mouth like a cigarette a welcome remnant of her old habits while the current times were reflected by her pink mane having a deflated look about it. The time that had passed since she became head of this branch of government appeared as a bleary haze of files and timetables and remembering a time when party planning was a lot more fun. That was what her new job boiled down to; a more boring rendition of her old job. It wasn’t wholly ethical (she didn’t exactly like supporting Diamond Tiara’s puppet dictator) but the ponies of Equestria needed to be kept happy and she was willing to do it for them. Of course having a whole department and hundreds of other ponies working for her meant her parties were now bigger than ever though not quite as cheerful. There was also the less appealing publishing and radio aspects but she just handed them over to middle management though she did help wherever she could. Right now there was not a lot to do, the programming was fine, no particularly big festivities coming up. Nothing to do but stare blankly at the screen until…

Her daydreaming was suddenly interrupted by the blaring of the instrumental of the Equestrian national anthem issued from the alarm on her desk indicating that todays cabinet meeting was about to begin. Startled Pinkamina jumped out of her seat and walked over to the transporter pad that would automatically take her to Canterlot Castle.

*

At the head of the cabinet table sat a regal looking white unicorn with a blonde mane now scruffy to reflect his plebeian image. Aside from Pinkamina the other ministers present included Rumble, Minister of Equestrian Security with his slicked back black mane; Featherweight, Minister of Internal Affairs with his pencil frame and brown combover, and Fancy Pants, Minister of Wealth and Prosperity with his blue curls and mustache, gleaming monocle and everpresent air of Charisma.

“Long live the Republic” the Lord Protector said, by way of greeting.

“Fates bless Equestria” the cabinet members responded in a monotone.

Blueblood, or Blue Collar as he was supposed to be called, then cleared his throat and said “Any pony have anything to report. I heard rumors that one of my soldiers was attacked by somepony in a mask.”

Rumble spoke up “As you know I’d ordered a sting operation into an unlicensed establishment. While it is successful it didn’t go as planned. One of my enforcers was knocked unconscious and when he woke up he identified his assailant as a wearing a purple skullmask and cloak who tried to stop him taking the club dancer Sweetie Belle into custody.”

“Double the sweeps.” Said Blueblood “I want this insurgent found before he becomes a threat. And if they see this dancer tell them to make her murder discreet. But bring her to trial if you can. I trust you’ll contribute as well Featherwight.”

“Yes Milord. Also my spies report that the known royalists Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy have been sighted circling the northern frontier in an airship belonging to the Griffin Kingdoms.”

“They may be heading for the Crystal Empire. Send a few hitponies to pick them off. But make this one discreet, we can’t risk declaring war on the last Alicorn. Also send some men to the Griffin Kingdoms to maintain their neutrality.”

At this point Fancy Pants spoke up “Increased military capacity and a first class ticket to the kingdoms. We’ll have to go hungry for a whole hour.”

“Enough of your snark Minister. Just raise the popular taxes.”

“Why not just ask Diamond Tiara or Flimtech for some more money. It seems they can afford it” replied Fancy Pants.

“But she thinks she pays enough and if I make her pay more she’ll kick me out this revolution will collapse. The masses on the other hand can easily be persuaded by one or two public executions.”

“No need for that” said Fancy Pants quickly “I’m your Minister for Wealth and Prosperity. I’ll find a way.”

“That just leaves you Miss Pie” said the Lord Protector “I want you to organise a smear campaign against the potential vigilante. Not too big, ponies will get suspicious. Just a few leaflets about not taking the law into their own hands. And tell them keep up with the anti-monarchist campaign as well.”

“Yes Milord” Pinkie Pie said.

He then addressed the cabinet as a whole “My government, if these events are anything to go by our regime is heading for a time of crisis. We must nip them in the bud before they become a threat. We may have the backings of corporate giants but we still must safeguard our popular future. We’ve fought hard for this revolution and I will not let that happen. This concludes our meeting for today, good afternoon. ”

And with that the meeting adjourned.

*

Rarity had been crying again. Not her usual hammy, turn-on-the-waterworks crying, but silent weeping staring out of the window at the darkened sky. It wasn’t easy being the wife of the Lord Protector particularly to a rude, manipulative stallion like Blueblood. Although he insisted on being called Blue Collar but she knew he was still an aristocrat through and through. Her friends were dead, her sister was out of her reach and her whole world was turned upside down. It wasn’t as if Blueblood was abusive or anything like that. Aside from forcing her to marry him and not doing anything to help her sister, he treated her with cold indifference, paraded her as a trophy wife and, at worst, manipulated her into not leaving. Her dreams of joining the fashion industry were dashed in exchange for…

Knock, knock, knock

She quickly pulled herself back together and called “Come in.”

The door creaked open followed by the reply “Good evening Rarity.” She looked around. Fancy Pants, the Minster for Wealth and Prosperity, was standing in the doorway. He walked over and wiped  some leftover tears from her cheek “Been crying again” he asked. She nodded. Seconds later she’d thrown her front hooves around his neck, he’d kicked the door shut and they’d backed up against the wall kissing passionately.

“How did you get rid of my husband” she asked coming up for air.

“He hung back. Diamond Tiara called. Couldn’t talk till everyone left” he said, panting.

“Good enough. Should have 10 minutes.” And then they were kissing again muzzles and necks touching passionately. And all too soon her love was saying “I must leave now but I promise that I’ll find a way to stem these tears. I’ll even overthrow the Republic if I have to.” And with that he left.

“Goodbye” Rarity whispered as her love sped out of the door at full gallop to avoid the guards. This future may not be preferable but it had its moments. And he’d just given her an idea. “Overthrow the republic you say” she mused as she heard her husband’s hoofsteps coming down the corridor, back from his meeting with Equestria’s true overlord.