A Bunch of A-Holes

Rocket positioned a rifle-bolt precisely on the floor, carefully rotating it in line with the other components.  The yellow creature had messed up his perfect circle, but now it was fixed.  With a smile, he crossed his legs and raised his arms straight out to his sides.  His cybernetics itched as he twisted his paws back and gripped the one right between his shoulder-blades.  Carefully, he opened the casing, and twisted a knob inside it.  Made with bits of clocks and computers, the little component would shut off his brain.  He would be essentially in a coma for the duration of the timer.  No pain, no itching, no nagging feeling of guilt or inadequacy.  Just perfect rest.

He dropped his head as he fell unconscious, trusting Groot to protect his body.

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Drax stopped at a wide river and looked into it.  There were fish swimming calmly around, and he began moving slowly into it, ignoring how the cool water soaked through his pants.  With a sigh, he settled in to wait.  Fish curled around his unmoving limbs, twisting and snaking beneath him as his head descended slowly.  He bared his teeth and in a motion so quick the fish didn’t have the chance to react, shoved his teeth through the side of a fish.  Dull as the teeth were, they were adequate for flinging the flopping, bleeding creature onto the shore, far enough away from the side to keep it out of the water, but close enough to keep an eye on.

Two more joined the first, and he settled himself on the grass, using his wrist-blades to carefully carve the fish open, so he could eat it.

It wasn’t bad.  A little less oily than the fish he usually ate, but not nearly as salty either.

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Gamora reached the library just in time to see an absolutely immense white pony leaving the tree.  Her assassin training kicked in, and she ducked into a bush, pulling the small white unicorn with her, muffling the filly’s words until the big pony was out of sight.

She released the filly, who glared at her, “That was the Princess.  She probably wanted to talk to you.”

“Sorry.  Training.  Assess new threats before engaging,” she tried not to think about how she had almost spitted the innocent filly that morning, the poor grip throwing off her aim by enough that she knifed a cereal box instead of the child.

The two entered the library, where Twilight was already waiting, massaging her head with both fore-hooves, the younger of the two immediately speaking up, “Morning Twilight.”

Twilight mumbled something incoherent, then raised her head and looked at the green Unicorn, and the white one, “Hi Gamora.  Did Applejack have enough room for all of you?”

“No.  I stayed with Rarity and Sweetie Belle last night.  The filly was nice enough to bring me along to her levitation lessons, so I could learn too.”

Twilight gawked.  She had never seen a Unicorn that age unable to levitate.  Still, she was nothing if not professional.  She could teach a mare as easily as a foal, “Ok.  Then I guess we should get started.”  She pulled out a pair of metal orbs with her magic.

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Peter looked at the blue Pegasus as she instructed him to open his wings, and follow her.  Instinct snapped his helmet up and he launched himself into the air, using his boot-jets to fly along, wings tucked tight to his coat.

“Look, Starlord, I don’t have time to give you a flight lesson.  Just…GAH…Go push those clouds over there up thirty meters.  Make sure they get into the jet-stream, and come get me afterwards.”  Almost as an afterthought, she shouted, “DON’T KICK THE BLACK CLOUDS!”

Brilliant.  Peter landed on one of the white clouds and sank his legs through it, pushing his boot jets out the bottom.  It would be just like that time he had borrowed some dude’s hover-chair.  FWOOSH!  He raced around, using one boot at a time to give the other one time to recharge between pushes, and all the clouds were moved into position, except for the one, single, big, black cloud.  He floated up to it and pressed his hoof to the side.  His fur stood up as the shock moved into him.  Not powerful, but enough to tell him that the cloud was charged up pretty good.  He carefully shaped it into a pair of hoof-holds, laughing at how easy it was to make his own shapes out of clouds.  For one very long moment, he thought about flying back to Rainbow Dash’s house and changing the porch pillars into giant dick jokes.  Naw.  He fired his boot jets, lifting the cloud up higher.  A gust of wind snapped his hooves forward, and he barely caught himself before he collided with the cloud.  Then he realized where the jets were pointed.

The cloud discharged violently, lighting up the sky as the now white cloud was stretched up into the sky in a pair of bright yellow trails of fire.

Peter shot out of the top of his mount cloud, boot-jets sparking, “Ah.  Well.  FUCK!”  He began to fall.

A blue streak appeared next to him, “Open your wings, stupid!  I can’t carry you!”

He stared at the streak, his goggles blurring it out badly, but he listened, and stopped trying to pull his wings in to his side.  They shot open like twin parachutes, bringing him into a slower fall.  The blue streak stayed with him, “FLAP YOU IDIOT!  DID YOU NEVER GO TO FLIGHT SCHOOL!”

He was beginning to really hate that streak.  It was clearly male, by the tone, and he reached out, grabbing at it.

“NOT ME!  FLAP YOUR WINGS!  YOU’LL GO SPLAT!”

Nope.  That would really put a damper on his threesome plans.  He dragged his wings down through the wind, and found the streak shooting away as he slowed down further, “Huh.”

The streak returned, and he saw that it was a light blue Pegasus with a black mane and a darker blue flight suit on.  A professional flier.  Excellent.  He just got insulted by a pilot jock.

His hoof pressed against the other stallion’s chest, “Look.  I’m about a zillion light-years from home.  I didn’t have wings three days ago.  I won’t hesitate to break your ribs if you call me an idiot again,” he turned away, “Fucker.”