The Little Seapony

A few hours later, Pinkie Pie awoke in a very strange, very dry cave. For a moment, she panicked. She had never been out of water before. What if she couldn’t breathe? Where were her gills? She sat up suddenly and realized she was on some sort of cushiony couch. She looked around and saw a firepit in the middle of the cavern that shed light on haphazardly placed, brightly colored furniture. Fire. There was no fire under the sea, but she had seen pictures of it. Suddenly, everything came back to her. Her conversation with the seawitch. The mad swim to the surface. She removed the blanket that was covering her, and looked down at her newly formed hind legs and fluffy landpony tail. She wiggled her legs experimentally, and then winced at the pain. Right. The seawitch did say her hind legs would hurt the first day. Ah well. She’d deal with it. She was good with pain. It would be worth it after all, if she could hear a pony laugh.

“Weeelllll hell-o, my little pony!” said a voice from behind her. Pinkie turned, and then moved quickly away from the serpentine mismatched monster that had just walked into the cave. “Oh don’t be like that,” said the draconequus. “I did save your life after all. Found you this morning lying unconscious in the sand like a beached whale, if whales were small, pink, and pony-shaped.” He smiled and Pinkie relaxed a tiny bit.  “Are you hungry? Do you want some fish stew?” Pinkie’s eyes grew wide and she vigorously shook her head. Seaponies didn’t eat fish, and she sincerely hoped landponies didn’t either. “No? Well, I might have a carrot or something lying around,” Discord opened a pantry and began tossing out miscellaneous objects. You and I would have recognized pots, pans, a bright red floppy disk, an easel, and even a gramophone as they flew across the room, but Pinkie, being a seapony and never having had a need for such things before, hadn’t the faintest idea what any of them were. She walked clumsily up to the gramophone (ignoring the pain in her newly formed back legs), and was suddenly seized by the desire to look inside it. “Ah! Here’s something! How do you feel about bananas?” He asked poking his head out of the cupboard only to see Pinkie’s flank sticking out of the gramophone horn. She kicked her back legs, helplessly stuck. Discord chuckled softly. “Here let me help,” he said. He grabbed hold of her legs and gave a mighty tug until she popped out of the horn and landed on top of him. Pinkie noticed that he was much softer than he looked. That, and the fact that he had helped her instead of gobbling her up on the spot, made her much less frightened of the beast. She smiled at him as way of thanks.

“Yes, yes you’re welcome, now please GET OFF ME!” Discord pushed her onto the floor. “I do not enjoy being sit upon by ponies.” He walked over to the cupboard and handed her a banana. “Here. It’s all I could find.” Pinkie licked the banana experimentally.

“Now my dear –“ Discord began, but then stopped suddenly. Wide-eyed, he watched Pinkie eat the banana, peel and all, in one single gulp. “Er…Where are you from?” He finished a little lamely.

Pinkie brightened and opened her mouth to speak, but then frowned when nothing came out. “What? Do you not remember?” Discord asked. Pinkie shook her head. “So you do remember,” Discord said. Pinkie nodded. “You just can’t tell me,” Discord guessed. Pinkie nodded again. “Hmmm…well that’s interesting…and annoying. Can you write it down or something? Oh. I don’t have any paper. That won’t work.” While Discord thought, Pinkie made pictures on the cave’s sandy floor. Wait, she thought. Sand. Pictures. Idea!

She drew a picture of herself as a sad seapony, the seawitch grinning wickedly, and then a picture of herself growing legs. After she was done, she poked Discord and pointed at the drawings. He scratched his head. “Er…yes, um, very nice pictures. Are those fish? What is that bulbous growth on this one?” He pointed to the fluffy hair Pinkie had drawn on her seapony self. She frowned. “And why does that fish have a stick embedded in its head?” He gestured to the seawitch’s horn. Pinkie only pointed at the pictures again in reply. “So they’re not fish?” Discord asked. Pinkie shook her head. “Right. I knew that! They’re obviously…” he scrunched up his face in concentration. He looked at the last drawing’s squiggily limbs. “Um…s-“ Pinkie looked up at him expectantly. “-squid?” Pinkie’s face fell.  “Really, really deformed squid?” he said hopefully. Pinkie sighed and shook her head.

Discord rolled his eyes. “Well whatever.” He plopped onto an armchair and crossed his arms. “It’s not my fault you can’t draw!”

After thinking for a moment, Pinkie went outside and came back with a rather large, very much alive fish. Discord raised an eyebrow. “I thought you didn’t like fi – oh dear Celestia! What are you doing?” Pinkie had jumped, back feet first, into the fish’s mouth and pulled it up to her middle. She flipped her new ‘tail’ at Discord happily. “Erm…you got eaten by a fish?”

Pinkie facehoofed. “Oh wait! I know! You’re a seapony!” Discord suddenly cried. Pinkie nodded emphatically. “Oh what joy! A seapony of my very own!” He grabbed Pinkie and twirled her around in his excitement. The fish squelched off of her and landed on the floor where it flailed about helplessly.  “Wait,” Discord said, stopping midtwirl. “If you were really a seapony, then why are you a landpony now?”

Pinkie wiggled out of his grasp and pointed at the last drawing. Discord thought for a moment. “You were turned into a landpony?” Pinkie nodded. She wrote 3 days into the sand next to the drawing. “You’re a landpony for three days?” Pinkie drew a heart. “To…er…find love? That might be a bit difficult for you my dear. What happens if you don’t?” Pinkie drew a gravestone. “What? You die?!” Discord cried, outraged. “What kind of children’s story is this?! Hans Christian Ander – oooh, I get it.” Discord laid on his stomach so he was eyelevel with Pinkie. “Tell you what, my dear. I think we can help one another.” He poked her snout. “You need to find a very special somepony. I need get Celestia off my back so I can get off this chaos-forsaken island. I can provide you with lodging and, as the master of seduction that I am, I can get you the pony of your dreams. All I ask for in return is that you tell…or, er, gesture to Princess Celestia about what a reformed and honorable citizen I am.” He put his claw out for her to shake. “Do we have a deal?” Pinkie thought for a moment. Trusting this weird creature might be the most terrible mistake of her life. Then again, she didn’t have many other options at the moment. She shook his claw.

Discord jumped up in joy. “Huzza! Let’s go to town and find you a stallionfriend! Or marefriend. Are you into mares? No? Alright.” He picked her up, and was about to let her ride on his shoulders so they could get to town faster, when he suddenly got a good whiff of her. His skin turned green. “First, you might want to bathe. You smell like fish.”