The Little Seapony

To most ponies the marketplace of Ponyshell Island would have seemed mundane and uninteresting, especially when compared to those of the larger cities of Cantorlot and Manehatten, but to Pinkie Pie it was the most fantastic place she had ever seen. Ponies of all colors, shapes, and sizes swarmed the market stalls, which sold everything from apples and bananas to exotic pets. And the smells! Living underwater for all of her life, Pinkie had never had much use for a sense of smell before, but now rich, heady smells both tantalizing and repulsive, bombarded her, making her equal parts dizzy and excited. There was so many things to see and do, Pinkie hardly knew where to start.

“Hmmm...let’s see what sort of stallions we’ve got to choose from here,” Discord said, interrupting Pinkie from her thoughts. Oh right, she thought, refocusing. Must find a stallion. “Anypony catch your eye?” he asked. She frowned a bit looking across the marketplace from Discord’s shoulders. There were many pleasant looking and even downright attractive stallions in the marketplace. In fact, everypony looked so interesting and fun that Pinkie found herself wanting to befriend all of them, but that was the problem. She wasn’t looking for just a friend. She was looking for somepony to fall in love with. How was she supposed to decide which was the right stallion?

“Ooh! What about that one? He looks daring!” Discord pointed to a brown pony wearing an eyepatch. A saber was belted to his waist. Pinkie considered him for a moment, but then shook her head. “Eh, you’re right,” Discord agreed. “Too piratey.”

He brought Pinkie’s attention to another stallion, this one with a tan coat and an hourglass cutie mark. “He looks nice!” Discord exclaimed. As they watched, the smiling stallion trotted up to a grey pegasus and nuzzled her neck intimately. A small grey unicorn filly pranced happily about their feet. Discord’s hopeful countenance immediately fell. “Taken,” he said. “Figures.”

He turned his gaze away to another part of the marketplace. “What about that blue one?” he asked, pointing to a stallion with a blonde mane standing in corner. As Pinkie thought about her answer, the stallion suddenly pulled out a jar of blue jelly and started slathering it on his body. “Er...never mind,” Discord said quickly. “Let’s move on.”

They walked along, Discord occasionally pointing out a pony here and there, but Pinkie didn’t think any of stallions was the right one for her. As Discord pointed out what seemed like the hundredth stallion that day, Pinkie heard a noise, the most strange and beautiful noise she had ever heard before in her life. Wanting to know what could make such a wondrous sound, she slid down Discord’s back, and trotted off towards the noise. “Where are you going?” Discord asked, following her curiously.

The sound led them to a throng of ponies gathered around a stage. For a moment, Pinkie gazed at the crowd in confusion, not understanding what was happening. The sound was coming from the ponies, she realized, but how? And why had she never heard anypony make such a wonderful sound before? Suddenly, she understood. The ponies were laughing. That’s why she had never heard it before! And it was just as her Nana Pinkie had described too! It was like concentrated happiness was bubbling to the surface of everypony and they had no choice but to release it in the form of giggles, chuckles, guffaws, and even chortles. Some ponies were laughing so hard they had to clutch at their sides as if they were trying to keep it from coming out too fast. Others had tears running down their cheeks, and were smiling so much their cheeks hurt. What her Nana Pinkie had not told her, however, was how contagious laughter could be. As she looked about her at all of the smiling ponies, Pinkie felt a warm tingling sensation in her gut that quickly grew and grew until she could no longer contain it. It exploded from her in a fit of silent giggles that had her rolling on the floor with happiness. It was the first time Pinkie had ever laughed, and she had never experienced anything so wonderful in all her life.

Discord watched the pink pony with an amused smile. “Silly pony,” he said. “Do you even know what everypony is laughing at?” She shook her head with a giddy grin, still tittering and snorting to herself even as she answered his question. Discord couldn’t help but chuckle a bit right along with her as he turned her attention to the stage. On the crude wooden structure a yellow stallion with a brown mane that was as curly as her own balanced atop a large colorful ball. His front hooves were a complete blur as he skillfully juggled three rubber chickens whilst still remaining perfectly balanced. Suddenly, Pinkie’s eyes widened in awe as the performer threw all the chickens into the air and did a backwards somersault off the ball landing flawlessly beside it. He then stood there with the widest smile Pinkie had ever seen as the three rubber chickens pummeled his head one by one. The audience broke out into renewed fits of laughter and cheers at this, and the stallion bowed with a flourish. Watching this strange stallion’s antics, Pinkie’s grin grew wider and wider. This was what she had been looking for! This was why she had become a landpony! She didn’t just want to hear a pony laugh, she wanted to make them laugh. She wanted to give ponies so much happiness that they couldn’t contain it all.  And as she watched the stallion perform, she realized something else. She was in love.

“Thanks for coming folks! And remember to come to the Summer Sun Festival two nights from now! It’s gonna be cheese-tastic!” the stallion called out as the crowd dispersed after the final act. Standing beside the stage, Pinkie was almost vibrating with excitement. There were so many things she wanted to ask him! How did he make so many ponies laugh? What was his name? Did other ponies do what he did? How long did it take him to learn how to juggle? Where did he get a chicken made of rubber? Were the rubber chickens alive? Did ponies grow them? What was the Summer Sun Festival? Was it like a party?

“Hello there! Did you like the show?” Pinkie froze. She had been so busy thinking of questions, she hadn’t noticed the stallion in question exit the stage. Suddenly he was there before her, in all of his splendid comedic glory. When she didn’t reply, Discord nudged her none too gently with his cloven hoof. Pinkie quickly brought her attention back to the stallion. “Sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean to startle you. I just wanted to know if you enjoyed the show.”

Pinkie’s face broke out into a huge smile, and she nodded vigorously. The stallion grinned in return, and then turned to Discord. “What about you?”

Discord shrugged. “It was passable,” he stated. Pinkie frowned at him in disapproval.

“Oh don’t worry about him!” said the stallion, seeing her expression. “From Discord, that’s practically a five-star review! The name’s Cheese Sandwich, by the way. What’s yours?”

Pinkie opened her mouth to reply, but then frowned when she realized she couldn’t. “Oh she can’t speak,” Discord explained. “A wild sphinx tore out her vocal cords when she was just a filly, the poor dear!” Her eyes widened a bit at the lie, but she supposed it was better than telling Cheese the truth.

“That’s horrible!” Cheese replied.

“Yes, it was quite the tragedy!” Discord continued. “Even worse, ever since the attack, dear, um…” he glanced down at Pinkie, suddenly realizing that he had no idea what to call her. As he gazed at her bright pink mane, memories came to his mind of lazy mornings before he was banished, lazy mornings spent floating on fluffy, pink cotton candy clouds.

“Candy Clouds?” Cheese Sandwich asked.

“Uh, yes!” Discord said quickly, realizing he had just said the last part of his thought out loud. Well, Candy Clouds is a better name than nothing, he supposed. “Dear Candy Clouds was having a bit of trouble fitting in in her old town, so Princess Celestia sent her here to..er...learn about friendship and stuff. And being the generous soul that I am” - Cheese raised an disbelieving eyebrow at that statement - “I promised to show her around town today. Sadly, however, I just remembered that I have some very pressing engagements today that I just can’t possibly cancel!” He gently pushed Pinkie towards Cheese. “I was thinking, perhaps you could show her around for me?”

Cheese Sandwich’s expression brightened at the suggestion. “I’d love to!” he grinned, turning to Pinkie. “As long as it’s alright with you, Candy.” Pinkie nodded enthusiastically.

“Fantastic!” Discord exclaimed. “I’ll just let you two kids get to it then! Have fun!” He waved to them as he walked away, but they didn’t seem to notice. Not even Pinkie. She was too enthralled by whatever the stallion was saying to even acknowledge the departure of her fellow conspirator. Discord’s raised claw curled into a fist as he turned away from the couple, his face a distinct pout. Ah well, he thought, pretending the slight didn’t bother him. This was the plan after all, and Pinkie, for some reason that was quite beyond Discord’s grasp of understanding, was obviously already smitten with the stallion. It wouldn’t be long before Cheese returned her feelings. Then Celestia, seeing how helpful Discord had been, would return his powers to him and all would be right with the world. Unless... Doubt crept into his mind. Unless something went wrong on their date today. Perhaps it was best if he kept on eye on them, he thought as he snagged a pair of binoculars from a nearby market stall when the vendor wasn’t looking. It couldn’t hurt to be careful.