Pony Fails

"Jesus FUCK!"

"Oh my GOD! What did you—what the FUCK? Stupid, oh my God, Christ, what the FUCK?!"

"Call 911! Call 911!"

"Snails! Find, I dunno, some ice or something!"

"Uhh...we don't got no ice, eh."

"Well then fucking find SOMETHING! Christ, just...just find SOMETHING and put it in it—"

"Hell no, I ain't touchin' it, eh!"

"Well I'm sure as fuck not touching it!"

"Let Snips touch it, it's HIS—"

"SOMEBODY CALL 911, I'M BLEEDING TO DEATH HERE!"

"YOU call 911, you little dumbfuck, YOU'RE the one who did this shit! Jesus Christ, and all over my fucking carpet, too..."

* * * * *

"Holy crap this is good tequila!"

"...uhh, Rainbow Dash..."

"Yeah?"

"...nevermind."

"Man, I thought they were kiddin' about the whole worm in the tequila thing. This is some crazy shit. You know, this worm looks...weird..."

"Rainbow? That's...that's not a worm. I'm...sort of pickling a dick in that bottle of tequila."

"...WHAT?"

"You heard me. That's a dick. Pickling. In the tequila."

"...FUCK, and you let me DRINK this—oh FUCK, WHY?"

"Hey, you're the one who just picked it up and drank it with a dick floating in it."

"WHY are you...WHOSE?"

"Snips."

"UGH! Why the fuck do you have Snips' dick in a bottle?"

"Dumb little fucker cut it off. We didn't have any ice. Tequila was the best I could do. Then the ambulance guys said there wasn't anything they could do, and I guess I just forgot about it."

"...holy fucking shit, when the fuck was this?"

"I dunno, five or six months ago?"

"I'm gonna go throw up...holy fucking shit, Sunset..."