Pony Fails

On the train back to Ponyville, Princess Twilight Sparkle composed a report for Princess Celestia concerning the strange adventure she and her friends had just had. As she wrote, she narrated her letter out loud.

"...and regrettably, the perpetrator escaped--"

"She was pink," Pinkie Pie said.

Twilight halted, looking up. "Excuse me?"

"You said the purple traitor escaped. Starlight Glimmer was pink. Not purple."

"Her mane was kind of purple," Fluttershy said.

Twilight facehoofed. "Not 'purple traitor', Pinkie Pie. 'perpetrator'."

"Even if you say it like that, she was still pink. And I know pink."

"Actually, it was more of a light greyish heliotrope," Rarity chimed in.

"Not. Helping!" Twilight hissed.

"Why does it even matter what color she is?" Rainbow wondered. "She's a bad pony. Just say bad pony!"

* * * * *

Princess Celestia puzzled over the letter she had just received from Twilight Sparkle.

Regrettably, the light grey heliotrope bad pony who was in no way purple except for maybe her mane got away and we have no idea where she might be hiding. Please instruct the Royal Guards to be on the lookout for Starlight Glimmer. As an official Royal Decree--I can do that, right?--she is to be arrested and imprisoned on sight to stand trial for her crimes against friendship. Oh, and fashion. And muffins. Signed, Princess Twilight Sparkle and these other five crazy ponies that won't even let me write a letter in peace.