Incense

Lesbo-Dash and Twi-Stache trotted down mane street. Rainbow was walking strangely, but it was because she had just finished humping a splintering post.

"Aw, man, there it is..." Twilight said, falling to her haunches. There in front of her was fat-ass heaven - Taco Bell. It sat tall, lights on in its clear windows displaying its midnight emptiness. Surrounded by other grease loads - Lard King, McFatass, Five Walking Boulders and Fries - it was definitely the king. There was a fucking taco on it. This huge ass fucking taco that was spinning on a pole. That meant king.

But Rainbow stopped in her tracks, just as Twilight stood again. "Uh, Twi, I'm, um, scared," she said, turning away and getting all googly faced and shit.

"Me too, but dude, there's food in there! I mean, like, all, loads and loads of food!" Twilight turned around and pointed at the glass doors and that contained both glass and door in one. "We can't quit now! What, um, what would that one chick think?"

"Who? Flutte..." Rainbow couldn't continue, bursting out laughing and falling onto her back. She tried to stop, desperately tried, but that only cause her to fling spittle across the deserted cobble streets. "Fuckin Fluttershy man...haha!"

"Wha, fak, no! I'm talking all about Celesita, er, Celesica. You know, Celestibitch. Yeah." Twilight nodded in approval. But Celestia's eyes appeared in the sky, darting and watching them. They were all draconic and shit, because that means evil. Then they were gone; they weren't even important anyways. What? Cause fuck you, that's why.

"You're right! What would I think?"

"Yeah!" Twilight jumped up, stumbling on over to the door. But Rainbow didn't follow; she was still nervously looking at the utilitarian building, as if it would spew out tacos. And churos. Aw, and rainbows! And maybe another line that's actually funny.

"Do we have to?" Rainbow asked, picking a splinter out from her belly.

Twilight waved a hoof, her face scrunching up like a squeegie. "Ew, RD, quit that! That nasty shit!"

Rainbow ignored her, picking away at the tiny piece of wood. "Heh, hey Twi," she said, "The, um, writer guy, he just said 'wood'."

Wait. What?

"Pfft, haha! Wood..." Twilight burst out into a fit of laughter, falling onto the cement sidewalk and rolling around like a drunk hobo. Then, her moustache lit on fire, burning a handlebar imprint into her face.

Because I didn't say you could break the fourth wall bitch! Only I can break the fourth wall!

She didn't feel it because she was still high as fuck. Standing up, and looking back at the Taco Bell, she said, "Oh! I know! They have a window on the side! We can just get our shit from that!"

"Oh yeah!" the pegasus exclaimed, eyeing the tiny side window that was shaded with a tarp. "Let's go to the thing! I'm starving. There's probably food in there." She eyed the restaurant closely, inspecting the taco-crowned pole up and down its length. "But I don't know..."

The unicorn was already halfway there, stumbling around on the approaching sidewalk. Her legs were as heavy as Chuck Norris's ballsack, and she having a hard time dragging them. "Well we're gonna find out," she snickered, soon laughing, then bellowing out into the night. She leaned up on the painted brick wall, scraping her way down to the window.

Rainbow stared at her for a moment, before jumping up and trotting over to her like a fucking retard. The two carefully approached the window, giving each other quick glances of sloppy approval. As they were now next to the window, pressed up against the wall, they snickered to each other.

"Aw this is gonna be so swag," Rainbow said.

"Alright, alright, shut up," the unicorn said, covering her mouth as she snickered. Rainbow nudged her, a dumbass grin on her own droopy face.

Twilight swiveled out, appearing in front of the window. She tapped on it with a hoof, immediately getting the attention of the mare inside. The brown mare opened the window, sticking out her head, atop which was a black cap with an embroidered taco.

"Can I, erm, help you ladies? Shouldn't you be inside? This is the drive through..." she said, glancing back inside.

"Uh, yeah, I'd like, uh...uh..." Twilight stared into the restaraunt, the smell of dead cows being fried filling her senses. She began to drool at the smell, because well, she's a cannibal or some shit.

RD tapped her, then pointed at the annoyed mare. "Sorry for my friend," she said with a snicker, "We want a...a...uh..."

"A taco! Yeah, get us, uh...two...three...tacos. Yep. Three each. And make them big. Oh! But, uh...no tacos. I want a burrito," she said. Then, she fell to her ass as laughter billowed forth. She was cringing, turning red as she rocked back and forth in her fit. "An...And put beans on it!" she said with another wave of cackles.

Rainbow joined in, falling to her side and laughing away. "Yeah! Yeah put beans on mine too!" she chortled, her body flopping around like a ArgandCrystal with a pillow on a lonely night.

[I, the author, feel it necessary to break the funny and say I hold no personal grudge towards ArgandCrystal. It's all for teh lulz man.]

"What? I...fine." The mare leaned in and typed something in on her register. These ponies obviously weren't right in the head - the sooner they were gone, the sooner she could go back to her shitty life working the graveyard shift at a grease bucket.

As the two's giggle fits stopped, they returned to the counter, their red eyes glowing in the night like fucking suns. They watched as she clicked her little earpiece, typed a few words into her machine, and looked back at them with an annoyed grimace.

"So two burritos each?"

"Nice to meet you too," Twilight said, extending a hoof. The mare facehoofed, sighed, and typed in the number two.

She then leaned out again into the chilly night air to face the two fucktards at the window. "Sie tatsächlich diese übersetzt? Arschloch."

Both Rainbow's and Twilight's eyes went wide in horror as they backed away. They exchanged saggy glances, lips quivering and ears flat. "Rainbow-"

"Uh-huh." The pegasus nodded to show her understanding.

Suddenly, Twilight hopped up onto the little window shelf, saying to the mare, "You're a nazi! Back Hitler back!" She swooped her hooves as though they had a tortch. Then, a straw hat appeared on her head. She grew a pale white beard and moustache, a tan linen cape on her back. "Die monster!"

Rainbow joined in, snarling and flailing her forelegs around. "Kill it with fire!"

"Whoa, whoa, ladies, I asked how you wanted it cooked," the mare said, backing away.

"Well why'd you say it in Hitlernese, huh? Cuz you're a nazi..." Twilight said, darting her burning eyes.

"Ladies, is there a problem?" a gruff voice asked from behind them. The mare at the window spun around, and soon, all three of them could see two stallions at the inside counter, dressed in blue uniforms with neat little caps. On one's vest, embroidered in silver thread, was HappyKoala. On the other there was Wolfeproctor.

"Oh...oh shit, Twi, it's the police!" Rainbow whispered, dropping from the counter.

"Yeah, so, it's not like we're doing anything wrong or anything wrong. We're just ordering hamburgers. I mean, sheesh, you'd think-"

"Naw, Twi, we're in the drive through. I-I just realized it! That's law breaking!" the pegasus said, ducking down. Her face was that of horror and fear.

Twilight bent down next to her, eyes droopy and wide. "Oh no...Oh no...By Luna's pubic beard this is bad..."

"What are we gonna do? I'm scared! Aw, shit man we shoulda gone inside instead..."

"I told you! What're we gonna do? I gotta pee so bad man, I'm scared!"

"I gotta pee too! Uh, uh, we gotta get outta here!"

The mare peered over the counter to the huddled over mares. All she heard was 'shit' and 'pee', and thus was snarling. "Your food is ready ma'ams," she sneered, setting a thick bag of taco-y awesomeness on the windowsill.

"Did she see us?" Rainbow asked.

"Naw, she didn't. Quick, let's get the food and get the fuck outta here!"

"Hey! I know what to do! You got that floating thing, the big one that looks like a tit! Let's fly that bitch outta here!"

"Awww yeah!" Twilight agreed, a smile that resembled a dying walrus spreading across her drooling lips. She stood up, and gave the inside mare a look. A pedobear look.

"Thanks for the food and shit."

"Yeah, uh, whatever. That'll be eight- Hey, get back here!" But it was too late - the pair was already halfway down the street, running and laughing like madponies.

"Aw, this is so swag yo." But a quick look over their shoulder revealed it was not so swag.

The two police were angry! They were chasing after the pair, demanding that the story raise its rating to mature...no, wait. They were demanding that they give back the tacos!

"Come back!" one yelled.

"Aye! Get back here, ye bastards!"

A quick look over their shoulders revealed some horrible news: the cops were also vikings, and were charging at them with horned helmets, battle axes, and beards.

"Fus Ro Dah!" one yelled. The running pair screamed and picked up the pace.

Just as the stoned as fuck pair of fucking fucktards were fucking caught by the troll - er, viking police, a miracle happened! They were struck with lightning, and then, this happened:

Well, no, actually it didn't. But they kept running, imitating a tank the whole way.

[Author's Note: People actually like this shit?!]