Fallout: Equestria - Dirty Deeds

"You're a real nice girl, and I like you a lot, but right now, shut up."

Skitz, Sugar, Scar and Sortilege hurried their way across the wastes. They hadn't encountered much trouble since leaving New Appleoosa, and thank goodness they hadn't.

The four mares had to move so fast that they never got the chance to rest. The ammo had been mostly used up during the fight inside the tavern. Since Sugar and Skitz had gone to get a room that they never got to use, the caps from that were gone as well. They were all exhausted.

Sugar was even grumpier than usual. Her eyes continued to droop as they moved onward. She was too tired to start telling any more of her awful stories, a fact Sortilege was immensely grateful for.

Sortilege herself felt as if she was about ready to collapse. She had never walked so much in her whole life and she'd been awake for an entire day now. Leg muscles were hurting in places that she didn’t even know could hurt. The blue Unicorn took solace in the fact that she at least looked better now. Unlike her filthy companions, she took great pride in her appearance.

Also, she was very grateful that her magic had returned.

Scar seemed to be doing the worst. Aside from feeling tired, she also had a splitting headache and seemed to be fairly depressed. Her crimson red ears sagged with a flattened downtrodden weight. If that didn’t give it away, the permanent frown on her face certainly did. Sortilege couldn't help but blame herself for the Pegasus's current disposition.

Skitz trotted along at the front of the group. Of all of them, she seemed to be doing the best. She walked forward with a smile on her face, humming a peaceful tune to herself. The fact that she'd been stabbed hadn't bothered her in the slightest, apparently. Every once in a while, Sortilege could swear she heard the Earth pony whispering to herself between her humming.

The group carried on in total silence for a while. Sortilege considered saying something to Scar. Maybe she could make amends somehow? She really didn't care to lose the closest thing she had to a friend at the moment.

Before she could say anything, however, Skitz stopped dead in her tracks and perked up her ears.

Sugar let out a frustrated growl.

"Ugh. No. I don't feel like dealing with anything right now. Please tell me it's just a bloatsprite or something."

Skitz shook her head then sniffed the air.

"Raiders."

"Ugh." was all the filly said and the group continued on.

A moment later gunshots rang out and Sortilege jumped and ran for cover behind Skitz. The rest of the group however carried on as if nothing was happening. Their uninterested demeanor caused Sortilege some distress.

"What are you three doing? Aren't you gonna...ya know...shoot back?"

"Nah." Sugar replied. "They're Raiders. They're terrible shots up close. No way they'll hit us from this distance. If they get any closer we'll sic Skitz on 'em. Unless that happens though, we'll just keep moving until they get bored.”

Scar removed her combat helmet. She began shining it with her hoof as the gunfire continued around them.

"Don't go losing your head or anything, Sorts. We're not in any real danger. No point in wasting any ammo on 'em."

She placed her helmet back on her head. The moment she did so, a bullet landed dead center. It bounced off the helmet harmlessly, and the crimson Pegasus stood there in shock.

"Ha!" Sugar mocked her partner right before another bullet landed inches from where she stood. "Ya know...on second thought, we might want to find some cover."

The group headed over to a nearby fallen, old, rotten tree and hunkered down underneath it.

Scar, still shaking from her near death experience just then, pulled a cigarette from her pocket. She was having an enormous amount of difficulty striking up a match to light it with. Sortilege proceeded to take hold of the match with her light green magic aura and light it for her.

Scar smiled for the first time since they left New Appleoosa.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome." Sortilege smiled back. Maybe it was possible for them to still be friends.

"Well fuck." Sugar began. "They've got us pinned. What do we do now?"

"Shoot back?" Skitz suggested.

"We barely have enough ammo as it is." Scar replied then turned her attention to Skitz "I say we just sit here until they get bored then when they're close enough you chop 'em up."

"Okie dokie." Skitz smiled.

“Wait!" Sortilege decided to add in her two bits. "Why don't we try talking to them? Maybe they'll listen to reason."

Sugar burst out laughing.

"Fuckin' Stable ponies. These ain't ponies who'd be willing to talk to us. They're Raiders. They aren't into negotiating. They kill for fun. Trust me on this one."

"Nonsense." Sortilege reprimanded the filly. "They're ponies just like you and me. We should give talking a chance. No need to 'chop up' anypony."

She proceeded to stand and move out from behind the log.

"Excuse me!" She shouted out to the attacking group of raiders. "Can I have your attention please?"

"Get back here you stupid bitch!" Sugar shouted. "You're gonna get yourself killed and then I'm out a million caps!"

"Hush now. Nopony's getting killed."

She turned her attention back to the Raiders who had ceased fire. They weren't used to anyone attempting to negotiate and they were somewhat curious to hear what she had to say. At the very least they were amused.

"Now listen. We're very low on supplies over here. We barely have anything for you to 'raid.' There's no need for violence. You'd have better luck trying elsewhere. Why don't you be on your way and we'll be on ours and nopony has to get hurt. Agreed?"

Sortilege was answered with the sound of gunfire.

The shot tore through her left ear, and she fell to the ground screaming at the top of her lungs. Sugar used her own magic to quickly pull her behind the log once again.

"Fuck!"

Scar yelled before taking to the air and returning fire. Her battle saddle let out three quick bursts.

No more raiders.

Sugar was busy tending to Sortilege, who was lying on the ground crying and screaming. She had never experienced so much pain before in her life.

"You stupid fucking bitch! I told you to stay put!" Sugar yelled at the distraught older mare.

Skitz reached into her cloak and pulled out a healing potion. She gave it to Sugar, who proceeded to pour the liquid down Sortilege's throat. It tasted awful, but she felt the pain slowly start to die down.

"Did you get 'em Scar?" Sugar called out.

"Yeah but that was the last of my ammo."

"Damn it!" She turned her attention back to Sortilege. "We're tying you up again you dumb cunt! Do you hear me?!"

Sortilege responded by sobbing and holding the area where her left ear used to be.

"Oh." Sugar giggled. "I guess not. Serves you right for not listening to me! Anyone see where her ear went?"

"It's right here." Skitz said, standing over the spot where Sortilege had been shot. She picked up the ear in her mouth and trotted back over to Sortilege.

Sugar levitated the ear in her magic.

"Eww. They took off the whole thing!" She showed the ear to Scar. "Is it too late to reattach it, Scar?"

"Now that you closed off the wound with a healing potion, yeah.”

"Good." She leaned down close to Sortilege. "Let that be a reminder to you. Next time I tell you not to do something you fuckin' listen to me. You got it?"

"I'm sorry." Sortilege said through her tears.

"Sorry doesn't cut it. Pull a stunt like that again and I'll make sure you lose worse than an ear. Skitz, give her a shot of med-x and let's get going."

"We don't have any med-x, Sugar." Skitz replied.

"Well, I guess it really sucks to be her right now. Welcome to the wasteland, bitch."

Sugar and Skitz started moving again. Scar helped the distraught Unicorn to her hooves.

"She's right, ya know. You can't be doing shit like that."

"Why?" Sortilege asked, tears still streaming down her face.

"Because that's how the wasteland works. It's a crazy place and it's filled with crazy ponies."

"But why does it have to be that way? Why do ponies have to be so cruel? Why do you three have to be so cruel? This entire world is insane! I just don't understand it at all? Why does it have to be that way?"

"You don't have to understand..." Scar pulled out a couple more of her cigarettes and proceeded to place one in Sortilege’s mouth. Sortilege accepted it reluctantly. She never smoked before but she definitely needed something to calm her down. Scar returned the favor from before by lighting the cigarette for her friend and the two continued on after Skitz and Sugar.

"That's just the way the wasteland is."

~O.o~

The group continued their traveling. They encountered no more raiders, only more bloatsprites and feral dogs.

Sortilege hung her head low as they walked on. She hadn't thought she could possibly have felt any worse once she had heard the news about her home. She had been wrong. Just when she thought she couldn't lose anything else, the wasteland had come and taken her ear. The spot where her ear once was ached. Her only respite was the fact that as long as she stayed to the left of the filly, she didn't have to listen to her awful stories. Once again, Sortilege collapsed on the ground. She was too tired and depressed to move on.

"Get up."

The cruel little filly wasn't going to allow her a moment of rest.

"No." Sortilege answered.

"What the fuck did you just say to me?" Sugar advanced threateningly. "Get your ass up or I'm gonna make you wish you'd never been born."

"I already wish I'd never been born. There's nothing left you can do to me."

"Bitch." Sugar continued her advance. "You have no idea how wrong you are."

"Give her a break Sugar." Scar chimed in. "She's just tired. We're all tired. We could use a rest. It's starting to get dark."

Sugar glared over at Scarlet.

"We ain't got time to rest. We can't stay out here in the open like this."

“We'll set up camp here for the night and then continue moving in the morning. I'm fuckin' beat." Scar laid on the ground next to Sortilege. "I ain't moving another step either."

Skitz trotted over and sat down besides Scar and Sortilege with a smile on her face.

"Ugh. You too, Skitz? Fine!"

The frustrated filly started to wander off towards a group of dead trees.

"I'm gonna go get some firewood then."

After a few more steps, she glared back at the trio.

"Fuck you guys," she spat.

Then she headed off to complete her task.

"Skitz, go with her. Make sure she doesn't get into trouble." Scar said.

"Okie dokie." Skitz got up and headed off after the irate filly.

Sortilege and Scar sat there for a while in silence. Sortilege had nothing to say. Should she apologize? Had she even done anything wrong? She was so confused. She wanted to get along with Scar but it was looking like all chances of friendship had been sabotaged by fate.

Finally, Scar spoke.

"Look...I'm sorry. I never should have came onto you like that."

Sortilege perked up. Maybe there was a chance.

"Oh. It's okay."

"No, it isn't. I also had no right to get all butt hurt like I did. I want to make it up to you.”

"It's fine. Really."

“Well, when we get to Smokin' Grass's place I have something for you. You'll like it. Trust me."

"Thanks Scar." Sortilege smiled. "I appreciate it. It's nice to have a friend out here.”

Scar scoffed. "Not sure you should be considering me your friend seeing as how I totally plan on selling you and all." She reached into her pocket and pulled out a couple of cigarettes, offering one to Sortilege. "You really have no idea who's after you?"

"Not a clue."

Sortilege took the cigarette from her. The first one had made her violently ill. It did succeed in calming her down. It wasn't a habit that she had ever imagined she would have picked up. She doubted her mother would have approved.

"That's weird. That's really fuckin' weird."

"Yeah it is." She took a long drag off of the cigarette.

"So tell me about yourself, Scar. How'd you end up...like this?"

"Oh ya know. Typical bullshit. I was a member of the Grand Pegasus Enclave. Got tired of their shit. Headed down to the wasteland."

"Grand Pegasus Enclave?"

"Yeah. When the bombs fell, the Pegasi abandoned Equestria. Formed the Enclave. That's the reason for the clouds, ya know. I joined the military. Had some bad experiences. Decided to leave. They branded me a traitor. Gave me this." She motioned to her bizarre cutie mark. "Came down here. Met up with Sugar and Skitz. Been bounty hunting ever since."

"What's it mean?" Sortilege motioned to Scar's cutie mark.

"This is a Dashite brand. When a Pegasus leaves the enclave they're branded with this mark. It's a reference to Rainbow Dash. The greatest traitor to the enclave who ever lived."

"So that's not your real cutie mark?"

"Nope."

"What was it before?"

Scar sighed. "I'd rather not talk about it. Bad memories."

"Oh." Sortilege hung her head. "Sorry."

"It's fine."

The two sat there for a while simply enjoying their cigarettes.

Sortilege surveyed the landscape. It was almost completely dark now. Twilight. She recalled reading about it in a book. It made the wasteland all the more pretty to her.

Despite how terrible everything about the waste was, she found herself drawn to the landscape. Everything was so different to her. She was use to the grey walls of her old home. She wasn’t sure that she could ever get fully over all of the colors what made up the new, awful place.

Her eyes scanned the shadowed horizon until her eyes caught sight of the dead trees that Sugar had moved through to find firewood. Most of the trees were so old or rotten that they were black from years of decay. Some of them had a green mold on them. Even their color against the ground could be considered pretty in a way. Especially to a pony who most of her life she had seen a lot of grey.

"So."

Sortilege broke the silence.

"What are their stories?" She asked motioning over to where Sugar and Skitz had ventured off.

Scar laughed.

"Oh ya know. More typical wasteland bullshit. Sugar was raised by raiders."

"That explains a lot..."

"Doesn't it? Skitz...I don't actually know. Her and Sugar found me shortly after I came down here. Don't know much about her other than she's quiet, she's friendly for the most part and she's the one pony you never want get on the bad side of."

"I'll keep that in mind."

Sugar and Skitz happened to return at that exact moment. Skitz carried a large amount of timber for them to start a fire with.

"Okay Skitz. Give me the flamer." Sugar said.

"No!" Scarlet responded immediately.

“Yes. I'm just starting a campfire. It'll be fine."

"Let me do it." Sortilege said.

She focused on the pile of timber Skitz had laid down in front of them. Her horn glowed light green and her magic aura enveloped the wood. It began to smoke and and after a short time the wood ignited.

"Woah!"

Skitz and Scar both bolstered impressed looks on their faces.

Sugar however simply seemed pissed.

"You bitch! I was gonna start the fire!"

Scar snorted. "You were gonna waste ammo is what you were gonna do."

"Fuck you!" She pointed at Scar then turned to Sortilege "And fuck you!" She then turned her hoof to Skitz. "And fuck you too Skitz!"

"What did I do?"

Sugar didn't respond to the question. Instead she snorted then proceeded to lay down away from the fire.

"I'm going to sleep. Don't fuckin' bug me."

"Sweet dreams, Sugar." Scar said sarcastically.

"I hope you all die!"

As the night continued on, Sugar fell asleep fairly quickly followed by Scar.

Sortilege and Skitz remained awake.

They didn't say much to each other. Skitz stared off in the distance, humming to herself.

Sortilege sat there thinking to herself. She had been trying her best not to think about her stable. But now, in the dead of night, with nothing else to occupy her mind, it was all she could focus on. Faces from her past flooded her memories. The kind doctor. Her old teacher. The sweet mare who had baked her cookies. The children she taught. If she didn't stop thinking about it soon, she would break down again.

She used her magic to pull another cigarette from Scar's pocket. She was sure she wouldn't mind. She proceeded to use the same igniting spell she had used on the timber to light her cigarette.

"That's really cool."

The sudden noise caused Sortilege to jump. She turned her attention to Skitz, who had been the source of the sound.

"How'd you learn to do that?"

"Oh, I read it in a camping book when I was little. Magic sorta comes naturally to me."

"Is magic your special talent?" Skitz asked, eying Sortilege's cutie mark.

"Ummm, not really. I'm not...I'm not entirely sure what my special talent is. I kinda got my cutie mark in an odd way."

"Oh cool! I don't know what my cutie mark means either!" The large grey mare smiled over at Sortilege.

"How did you get yours?" Sortilege asked.

Skitz shrugged. "I dunno. I just always had it."

"Oh. That's interesting."

"Mhmm."

Sortilege tried to find a way to keep the conversation going but her mind drew a blank. She finished her cigarette and laid her head down.

"Are you gonna get any sleep?" She asked Skitz as she began to doze off.

"Nah. I'll stay awake and keep a look out... Goodnight!" She smiled again. Sortilege had initially been creeped out by the way strange mare always appeared to be smiling. Now she was beginning to find it sort of endearing. It was nice to be around a pony who always seemed happy. Even if she was a vicious killer.

"Goodnight."

Exhaustion finally overcame her. She prayed that the goddess Luna would show her a bit of mercy tonight and grant her pleasant dreams.

She highly doubted it.

~O.o~

Sortilege's prayer for a good night's sleep went unanswered.

The entire night she was plagued with nightmares of her home. She dreamed of the looks of terror on the faces of the ponies whom she had called family. She saw each and every one as they were gunned down by vicious, villainous bounty hunters.

She woke up several times through the night. It had by far been one of the worst nights of her life. However awful it had been, she did manage to get some sleep.

After being awoken by yet another nightmare, she noticed that daylight had finally arrived. She decided that attempting to get anymore sleep would be an exercise in futility.

She looked around the campsite. Her captors were all dead asleep. Scar was curled up in a ball looking incredibly peaceful. Skitz seemed to had finally dozed off as well. Sugar laid furthest away from the group. She was on her back, mouth wide open and leg twitching occasionally. Sortilege smiled at the sight.

It was nice to see Sugar actually look...cute for once. The way fillies were supposed to look. Sortilege got to her hooves and stretched. She proceeded to smother the smoldering remains of the campfire with her magic.

Thirsty, she trotted over to where Skitz lay. If any of them would be carrying water it would most likely be her. As she walked by the slumbering filly she heard her muttering something in between her snores.

"Bitches." Snore. "Bitches...bitches..." Snore."...Bitches..."

Sortilege raised her eyebrow. Any cuteness the filly had previously displayed had been lost. She continued on her mission to procure water and began digging through Skitz's cloak.

"Good Morning." Skitz said, without opening her eyes.

Sortilege jumped back in surprise.

“Oh! Um, I’m sorry. I didn't mean to wake you." Skitz looked up and smiled at her.

"It's fine." She gave Sortilege her best, goofy looking grin.

“Well then..." Sortilege smiled back. "Good morning."

"What's so good about it?" The two turned their attention to Scar, who had awoken as well. The Pegasus let out a massive yawn. "I fuckin' hate mornings."She stood up then trotted over to Sugar.

"Hey Sugar! Wake your ass up."

She kicked the filly who shot up immediately.

"Bitches!" she cried in surprise before coming to her senses and glaring at Scar. "Oh, it's you. What the fuck do you want?"

"Good morning to you too."

The filly yawned. "Is breakfast ready, Skitz?"

"Not yet. I just woke up too."

Sugar laid back down.

"Well, wake me up when food’s ready." She fell asleep again almost immediately. "Bitches...bitches...bitches..."

Skitz stood up. She reached back into her cloak and produced various cooking supplies and walked over to the campfire. Sortilege used her igniting spell and started up the fire again for her.

"Thanks!"

"You're welcome! Would you mind if I had some water, please?"

"Sure."

Skitz tossed a canteen over to Sortilege.

Scar stretched out her wings and pulled out three cigarettes, lighting up one for herself and passing one to each of her two companions. Skitz began to prepare a meal for them while Scar and Sortilege sat and talked.

"So did you sleep well?" Scar began.

“Not really." Sortilege answered back.

“Yeah, me neither."

"So how far away are we from where we're headed?"

"Not far. We'll be there by this afternoon."

Sortilege nodded and the two sat there silently for a while listening to Sugar's snores and vulgar mumbling and waiting as Skitz finished cooking.

Sortilege’s cigarette ended. It'd been the sixth one she'd had since Scar had introduced her to the habit. After she finished this one, she didn't feel that same satisfaction she had received from her previous ones. She looked eagerly to Scar.

"Could I have another one?"

"Uhh, actually those were my last ones. We'll pick up more when we get to Grass's place."

"Oh."

Sortilege was strangely more disappointed by this news than she thought she'd be.

"I guess I'll be fine until then."

"Uhhhh...yeah." Scar replied while turning her attention away from the Unicorn.

"Breakfast is ready!" Skitz called out.

Sugar woke from her dead sleep immediately.

She rushed over over to Skitz and waited eagerly for her breakfast. Skitz gave her what would be considered her meal, which seemed to consist of a small lizard skewered on a stick.

"Iguana on a stick! My favorite! Thanks Skitz!"

Sugar took a massive bite out of the small reptile and smiled."You're welcome."

She gave one to Sortilege and Scar as well.

Sortilege stared at the "food item" with a look somewhere between disgust and horror.

"I don't think ponies are supposed to eat meat." She said.

"I don't think stupid bitches are supposed to complain about the meals they’re given." Sugar replied with her mouth full of iguana. The filly possessed nothing resembling manners in the slightest.

"You should be grateful we're even sharing our iguana with you at all. Now quit bitching and eat. We need to head out as soon as we can."

Sortilege reluctantly took a bite and found that it wasn't nearly as unpleasant as she imagined it would be. She actually kind of liked it! The group finished their meal and with full bellies, proceeded to head out.

As they moved along, Sortilege felt herself becoming...irritated.

Sugar began telling her usual stories as they walked. Sortilege wasn't so much disturbed by the stories this time around as she was just plain annoyed. She had the worst craving running through her body. She could hardly stand it.

"Scar? Are you sure you don't have anymore cigarettes?"

"Pretty sure, yeah. Are you okay? You don't look so well."

"I'm just really...antsy. I really want another cigarette." Sortilege replied.

Scar shot her a surprised look.

"Wow. I've never seen someone become THAT addicted after only a few cigarettes. Do yourself a favor and stay away from Dash...Rage...Mintals... and...like...everything."

They moved on and Sugar continued spouting her awful story.

"...So then this bitch says to me, she says 'you think you can just do anything you want, you little cunt?' and that pissed me off. So then I say 'I sure as hell do!' and then I shot her in the face."

Sortilege didn't know how much more of the filly's terrible stories she could take. She was still fairly tired and now she was irritated on top of that.

The wasteland no longer seemed pretty to her. It was just ugly. She hated the dead grass, the grey clouds, and the nasty brown clumps of dirt that kept getting stuck under her hooves. She hated the stupid, gross moss that covered the dead, black trees. Not to mention the puddles of green irradiated water that caused her pipbuck to click in the most annoying manner.

She hated Skitz and her dumb smile. She hated Scar and her...stupid pretty wings.

Most of all she hated that evil, vile, poor excuse for a filly who just refused to shut up!

"...and then he goes 'no please don't!' and then I shot him in the..."

"Shut the buck up!!"

Sortilege yelled in the middle of Sugar's sentence.

The entire group stopped dead in their tracks.

Sortilege placed her hoof over her mouth in shock. Did she say that out loud? She hadn't meant to say that. She didn't know what had come over her. She stood there fearfully awaiting the filly's wrath.

Sugar slowly turned to face Sortilege.

"What did you just say to me?" She asked calmly.

Sortilege was terrified. Possibly the most terrified she'd been since leaving her stable.

"I-I'm sorry! I don't know what came over me! I didn't mean to..."

Sugar cut her off.

"Did you just say...shut the buck up?"

"I-I-I..."

Was all Sortilege could get out.

Sugar continued staring at her. To Sortilege's surprise, the filly didn't actually seem that angry. She actually looked.. confused?

"That is...without a doubt...the most retarded thing I've ever heard come out of another ponies mouth."

Sortilege was at a loss. She had no idea how to respond to that statement.

Sugar cocked her eyebrow. "Why didn't you just say...shut the fuck up?"

"B-because that's a...a bad word. I didn't want to say...that. Buck sounded close enough so..."

Laughter erupted all around Sortilege.

She felt heat rush to her cheeks. Her fear was long gone and had been replaced by overwhelming embarrassment.

Sugar was in tears from laughing so hard.

"It's a bad word?? That is fucking hilarious!"

"Yeah it is!" Scar added. "Even Skitz cusses on occasion!"

Upon hearing her name Skitz smiled. "Fuck!"

She said before joining in on the laughter again.

Sortilege lowered her head. She felt pretty stupid. In a place like the wasteland, of course saying something like fuck really wouldn’t be a big deal. This was more awkward and humiliating than when Scar had hit on her.

Sugar stopped laughing finally. With a smile on her face she addressed Sortilege again

"Say it. I want to hear you say it. Go ahead. Tell me to shut the fuck up.”

"I...I couldn't! I've never..."

"Say it!" Sugar yelled.

"Yeah! Say it!" Scar added enthusiastically.

"Yeah!" Skitz joined in.

"Do it!" The filly cried out again.

All eyes were on Sortilege. The three other mares looked on at her in anticipation. Sortilege took a deep breath and finally spoke in a soft and quiet tone.

"Sh-Shut the f-fuck up."

The laughter roared up again. Sortilege hadn't thought she could hate the filly any more than she had. She'd been proven wrong once again.

"Oh, that's great!"

Sugar said through her laughter induced tears. She wiped them away and looked at Sortilege. Her joyous expression died away and was replaced by her typical angry one.

"And fuck you!" She tilted her head back in pride. "My stories are lovely! You should be grateful for the chance to hear them! Now enough fucking around. Let’s go!"

They started moving once again. Sugar’s storytelling once again started up and Sortilege felt the irritation begin to rise up once more as well. She couldn't wait to reach their destination.

She really needed a cigarette.

~O.o~

They kept on walking for a few more hours. Sugar’s tales continued without skipping a beat.

"...and then I shot him in the face!"

"What a surprise." Scar replied sarcastically.

"Okay, next story."

Sugar thought to herself for a minute. She bit her lower lip trying to remember her next story, but she drew a blank.

"Actually...I think that's all I got."

"Thank Celestia!" Sortilege said earning herself a glare from Sugar. She didn't care. Sortilege had never been more irritated in her life. She needed another smoke, soon. More like now, really. Or two hours ago. Or yesterday. Gosh, she couldn’t even remember how long ago her last one had been!

Sugar continued glaring at Sortilege. She opened her mouth to say something when all of a sudden a voice called out in the distance.

"Hey!"

Sugar jumped. Immediately she drew her pistol and began firing at the source of the voice.

The Unicorn stallion who had called out to them dove for cover. He drew his own firearm and began firing back blindly. Sugar dove to the left, hiding behind a rock while Scar, Skitz, and Sortilege hid behind the wreckage of a nearby sky carriage. Skitz drew her submachine gun and returned fire as well. The stallion ducked down behind his cover. He called out something but it was inaudible over the sound of gunfire.

"Scar!" Sugar called over to her companion. "Shoot him!"

"I'm out!" The Pegasus replied.

"Don't tell him that!" Sugar yelled back.

Skitz's gun clicked empty. "I'm out too!"

Taking advantage of the brief cease fire, the Unicorn stallion called out to them once again. "I'm a merchant!"

"What?!" Sugar replied.

"He said he's a merchant!" Sortilege yelled back at the filly.

"It's a trick." Scar replied. "He'll shoot us if we go out there."

"We think it's a trick!" Sugar yelled to the stallion. "We think you'll shoot us if we come out there!"

The Unicorn stallion thought to himself for a moment before calling out again. "Well, I think this is a trick!"

"How could we be tricking you?!" Sugar yelled back.

"I think you've got plenty of ammo and you're gonna shoot me when I come out there!"

"Okay okay..." Sortilege began. "How about this...on the count of three...we all toss our weapons on the ground and come out! That means you too!"

The stallion considered it for a moment and then answered back. "Yeah...okay! On the count of three!"

Sortilege looked over to Sugar who nodded back. Sugar got ready to throw her pistol and automatic rifle to the ground and Scar began to undo the harness on her battle saddle.

"Okay. Ready?" Sortilege yelled.

"One...two..."

"Wait!"

Sortilege was interrupted by Skitz. All attention shifted to the Earth pony.

"...Is this a trick?"

~O.o~

"Ya know...." Scar began as the group looked over the merchants wares.

"You'd probably get more business if you didn't run around shooting people."

The Unicorn merchant laughed.

"Well I don't know about that. You probably wouldn't have to buy so much ammo if you didn’t spend it all shooting at me!"

He smiled. Scar couldn't really argue with that point.

"Do you have any flamer fuel?" Sugar asked him.

"Sorry, little lady. Fresh out of flamer fuel. But take a look at this!"

He used his magic to levitate out an old, dusty bow from his cart. He proceeded to clip it into Sugar's mane.

"Now don't you look cute as a button!"

Sugar let out a sarcastic chuckle. "Yeah. No thanks."

Scar began looking over the supplies.

"We'll take any ammo you've got and a couple of those healing potions."

"Do you have any cigarettes?" Sortilege asked.

"Why yes indeedy, I do!"

He levitated out a single pack of cigarettes from his coat pocket. Sortilege's eye's widened. She gazed upon the cigarettes with an intense desire. She'd never wanted something that badly in her entire life. It was the most wonderful sight she'd ever beheld.

Scar snatched the cigarettes out of the air with her wing.

"Okay. I think that's about all we need. How much?"

“Well...I think...about one hundred caps will do."

The stallion answered back.

“We have eighty." Sugar said.

The stallion levitated the cigarettes back out of Scar's grasp.

"That'll get you everything except these."

"No!" Sortilege cried out in desperation. "I need those! Please! I'll do anything!"

"Well..." The stallion began. He smiled coily at Sortilege. "I think we might just be able to work something out." He wiggled his eyebrows at his fellow Unicorn.

Sortilege's jaw dropped. This time she understood the implications completely. The most disturbing part of this scenario to her, was the fact that she was actually considering it.

She really wanted those cigarettes.

"No."

Scar came to her defense. She thrust a box of ammo back to the stallion.

"Keep these and we'll take the cigarettes."

"Hell no!" Sugar answered back. "We need every bullet we can get!"

She took the box of ammunition back with her magic and switched them with the cigarettes.

"If she wants those nasty things so bad. " She turned to Sortilege. "She can put that big fuckin' mouth of hers to use."

"You want these bullets so bad?" Scar took the cigarettes out of the air and grabbed the box of ammo again giving it back to the stallion. "Then YOU suck him off, you little brat."

Sugar turned her attention back to the stallion.

"I bite." She said before snapping her teeth at him.

The stallions smile died away and he regarded the four strange mares for a moment. "You know what? Eighty caps is fine."

The group finished the transaction and headed out once again.

Sortilege popped a cigarette in her mouth and used her igniting spell. As the smoke entered her lungs she felt sweet relief wash over her entire body. The irritation died away. She finally felt calm once again. Skitz politely waved goodbye to the stallion as the group departed.

"He was nice."

She said as the group continued on their journey across the wastes.

~O.o~

Sortilege had discovered a new kind of hell.

She inhaled her cigarette, desperately trying to find some kind of relief from the torture she now endured.

She found none.

She walked along with the group, trying to think of any way to end her current misery. Scar wasn't doing much better and any trace of smile that once occupied Skitz's face had vanished.

Of the entire group, only one showed even a hint of joy.

As the group had progressed, Sugar had decided she couldn't withstand the silence and seeing as she was out of stories to tell the filly had resorted to new method of passing the time...

She started singing…

Her voice was grating and the lyrics to her songs vulgar and vile. Sortilege wondered if she'd been taught these songs or just made them up herself. A thought also began to form on how much force it would require to rip off her remaining ear with her magic. She had once again made the mistake of thinking the wasteland couldn't get any worse.

It had proved her wrong yet again.

Scarlet seemed just as annoyed as Sortilege. She been attempting to drown out the sounds by covering her ears with her wings. Her attempts proved futile in the end.

Sugar was loud. Too loud.

Scar would have worried about the noise attracting raiders, but it seemed far more likely Sugar's singing would drive them off instead.

Skitz carried on as always, but the oblivious smile she wore had faded away. She wore no signs of her irritation on her face. She simply looked ahead, and desperately tried to ignore her small companion. Every once in a while, the corner of her right eye would begin to twitch.

Finally, Scar could take no more. She cut off Sugar mid-lyric.

"Sugar! Shut the fuck up already!"

"Fuck you!" Sugar yelled back. "My singing is lovely."

"No it isn't." Skitz cut in.

"You see?!" Scar exclaimed. "You're even getting on Skitz's nerves!"

"You're a bitch, Scar. And you too, Skitz. And you too...whatever your name was."

"Sortilege." Sortilege replied.

“I don't fucking care! I don't want to walk the rest of the way in silence so someone better start talking or I'm gonna keep singing!"

"No need." Scar said with a smile. "We're here."

The group looked ahead. In the distance, at the top of a small hill, stood a small shack.

Upon seeing it, Sortilege’s three companion’s eyes lit up. They could barely contain their excitement. Sugar broke out into a run and Scar took to the air. Skitz ran ahead as well and it took every bit of effort for Sortilege to keep up with them.

When she reached the top of the hill, she collapsed. She was never much of a runner. The other three mares waited by the door in anticipation. All three wore wide, silly grins on their faces. Sugar hopped up and down in excitement.

"Knock! Do it! Knock on the fucking door already!"

"Okay."

Scar approached the door. Raised her hoof and knocked once.

Twice.

Thrice.

A voice called out from behind the door.

"I'm coming. Hold on!"

The trio became even giddier when they heard the voice.

After what seemed like an eternity, the door opened.

In the doorway stood a jade green Unicorn stallion with a light brown mane and tail. He wore reading glasses and a pre-war business style hat, which he had cocked to the side at an angle. An image of a strange looking leaf with a small cloud of smoke emanating from it adorned his flank. He adjusted his glasses and focused on the mares. When he realized who it was, his eyes narrowed and sly smile crept onto his face.

“Get out." He said in a joking manner.

"Hiya Grass!" Sugar hopped up and waved excitedly at the stallion.

"Get out!" He repeated in the same sarcastic tone and smile still plastered to his face. "What are you crazy bitches doing here?"

"Oh ya know. We're on a job." Sugar answered."Need a place to relax for a little bit. Resupply."

“Well you came to the right place then. Missed you gals." He smiled over to Scar. "How you doin', Scar?"

Scar's cheeks flushed and she smiled and looked away from Grass. "I'm fine."

"Yeah you are." He winked at the crimson Pegasus. Then turned his attention over to Sortilege. "And who do we have here?"

"That's our bounty! We need to get her over to Forb Mountain." Sugar answered.

"And does this bounty have a name?" He asked, directing his question at Sortilege rather than Sugar.

As he approached, Sortilege felt heat rush to her cheeks. "My name's S-Sortilege."

"Nice to meet you Sortilege." He took her hoof in his own and planted a kiss on it, while keeping eye contact with the young Unicorn mare.

Sortilege felt her knees start to shake slightly. "N-nice to meet you too!"

"Hi Grass!" Skitz interrupted the introduction.

"Hey Skitz." Grass dropped Sortilege's hoof along with his flirtatious attitude. "What's shakin' baby?'

Skitz responded with a big goofy smile.

"Let's head on inside. Catch up on old times. It's been too long."

"Woo!" Sugar cried out and darted inside the shack. The rest of the group followed suite. Skitz wore her usual oblivious expression and Scar and Sortilege both continued to blush.Sortilege didn't have that much experience with flirting or anything of that nature.Going off of the feelings in her cheeks, the shaking of her knees and the butterflies flying around in her gut…

...perhaps it was time to learn.