Conduits of Equestria

The next day we woke up, we quickly got dressed and left Brony-Con. While walking to the nearest food store, we stumbled upon an alleyway, but it wasn't your usual alleyway, it was a portal to somewhere.

"Dude, the fuck is that?" I asked.

"I dunno, dude, but we gotta check it out" He said and started walking towards an alleyway.

"I guess you're right. HEY, WAIT UP!!!" I told him.

We walked to the portal and It sucked us inside. We woke up and it turns out that we were in some kind of scary forest.

"Everfree!" I said.

"Really?!" My friend asked.

"No dude, we're just in some kind of creepy forest. Plus, Everfree Forest is a fictional place." I told him.

"True, true." He said.

"Come on let's get ou-----AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" I was talking while at the same moment some kind of monster ambushed us. "HOLY FUCKING BALLS, IT'S VLADIMIR PUTIN!!!" I said and quickly dodged his attack.

"Dude, you have your smoke ability, video ability, neon ability and concrete ability. WHY DON'T YOU USE IT?!" My friend yelled at me.

"I JUST SHIT MY PANTS!!" I yelled and dodged another attack. I quickly grabbed the creature by it's arm and we drifted off to sleep. When we woke up, I felt that I had some kind of new power. I got back up and I raised my hand in position that I used to suck some smoke, neon, video and concrete and get me some more powers and shit. Anyway, as I raised my hand, I sucked some leaves in my hand. "That's it? That's all you got? A leaf power? Like how do I kill some dudes with leaves?! Are you fucking kidding me?" I said and quickly dodged his another attack. At least I could call in some Blast Cores which gave me AWESOME NEW POWERS!!!! Anyway, I called in a Blast Core and it landed right on top of the monster. "Seems legit" I said. I got near the Blast Core and sucked the shit out of it(not literally). I lost my consciousness. When I woke up, my hands were glowing red. I got up on my feet and aimed my hand at the nearest tree. I shot out some green lasers. "Whoa. I guess these are leaf powers. Still better powers than Spider Man" I said and called in another Blast Core. Once I was done with calling in Blast Cores and getting me some new powers, I hovered up in the air and looked for the nearest town or village. "There. I see a small town-village-thing. We gotta get there as quick as possible, or we could die" I told him. I was curious about why he was so silent. I looked back at him saw that he was unconscious."Well, shit." I said. I grabbed him and started walking towards the nearest town-village. We got nearby and "WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?! PONIES?!" I said and drifted off to my thoughts. Then I realized it "WHAT THE FUCK?! WE'RE IN PONYVILLE?!"I said it. Yes I said it, we were in ponyville. But to our unluckiness, no ponies "Great, we're now the new Zecoras" I said. My friend had woken up and he's staring at my ass.

"Why am I hanging like this?" He asked.

"You lost consciousness when I was fighting that monster" I told him.

"Oh."

"Sooo, whachu wanna do? We are in Ponyville, Equestria and we have some AWESOME new prowes" I told him.

"You mean powers."

"Prowse"

"Powers"

"Powers"

"Yes, that's right"

"Okay."

We started walking in the town. We got near the Sugarcube Corner. With some hungry stomachs, we stepped at the door and knocked.

"Hello? Have you got any pizza? Or maybe some delicious sweets? We're hungry" I asked the door.

"Maybe nobo---noPONY is there? Maybe there is a ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE AND THEY ALL DIED AND THE SAME FATE AWAITS US!!" He started panicking. I quickly slapped him.

"If there were zombies, we would see them everywhere in the streets." I said. Suddenly I heard some men.

"You there. STOP!! Don't move or you will be shot down." I turned around and saw DUPs.

"Maybe they're afraid of............them?" I asked my friend.

5 minutes later.

"Where do you come from and who sent you?" I asked one of the DUP member. He was on the ground, his face facing(pun?) the ground and his hands and legs behind him, with my chain acting as handcuffs.

"I will tell you nothing" He said.

"Well okay then. Don't think that I can't find that out" I said and quickly shot him in the face with my leaf laser. "Okay. Now...........Back to food" I said and knocked on the Sugarcube Corner one more time. "Hello? We need some food please." No response, again.

"Dude, let's get outta here. Maybe come back when they calm down." My friend told me.

"Okay." We went to the nearest hill and set up a camp there. It was getting dark, so we didn't hesitate and went inside our tents to sleep. The night was beautiful and........Wait I was sleeping so that means...........

"Hello, mysterious creature" A horse figure, Princess Luna, was talking to me.

"Hello, blue horsie" I wouldn't tell her that I know her from a TV Cartoon, pffft.

"I am no horse, creature. My name is Princess Luna and I am a pony" She told me.

"Oh, so I guess you're a royalty here. Where da queen and king?" I asked.

"There is no queen or king in Equestria. There's only princess and there are two of us, Celestia, my sister and me" She said.

"Okay. That's cool, I understand." I told he------"BTW can I sleep without interruptions? I need some cool dream with adventure in it" I told he-----------"Oh and some Pizza" I told he-------------"And some girls" DAMN IT SHUT THE FUCK UP, ME, I'M TELLING A STORY, DON'T INTERRUPT ME....Anyway.........I told her.

"You'll get the dream but you have to promise us that you will save the whole Equestria from those creatures that look like you. Farewell!" She said this and then disappeared. Anyway, I got my dream(the one I asked for of course) and soon enough slept like a baby.