Wolverine's Unwanted Relocation

“Are you sure this will work?” Asked Wolverine, who was prepared to go back into the past to stop a war from happening.

“Yes, though it will undoubtedly be painful “as all hell”, as you would say.” The still painfully young girl beside him said, and addressed the rest of the room. “When he wakes up, whatever he did will become the history that we all know. Whether its better or worse, and only he will remember the history we’re living right now.”

Everyone around the room nodded solemnly. Wolverine seemed to catch his breath, as if the gravity of th situation had only just dawned on him. Then there was a sound of metal being completely crushed- no, destroyed, like a big door not being ripped off its’ hinges, but the door being cut into pieces on the molecular level- and someone ran in the room and said,

“Sentinels!” Shortly after that was stated a big metalish blade was plunged through his gut, and he was dead. Magneto stood up, and grabbed one of the support beams and the remains of the wall (no remains of the door could be used) and tried to force the robots back out. Unfortunately for all of the group, Wolverine; instead of clearing his head, was trying to think happy thoughts, and the first thing that popped into his mind was: ponies.

“Wolverine, clear your mind, come on!” Shouted Kitty, who was trying to send him back. But, then there was the problem. You know the big, metal, mutant-hunting robot behind them. Before anyone could protest, she had sent them all back in time. Though, not the correct time, due to Logan’s ‘distraction’. The last thing that wolverine saw were all of the room inhabitants slaughtered, before the white light engulfed him, and he saw no more.

(Ponyville, Equestria)

Twilight was nervous. Her mentor, Princess Celestia, had told her that she was to take a test to see if she would advance in her studies. However, in all her brilliance, she never asked her what the test was on. ‘I need to compose myself more when I’m around her,’ Twilight mentally noted to herself. It was turning out to be a beautiful day; shame she had to take a train to Canterlot to take a test on Celestia knows what. Brushing her nervous thoughts aside, she decided to continue on with studying her flashcards.

“Spike!” she called. Spike immediately came running in. his urgency at her request never failed to make her smile a little. He was after all her number one assistant.

“Yes Twilight, what do you want?” he asked, looking up at her. When she was nervous, he was nervous. When she was happy, Spike was ecstatic! All her moods seemed to reflect off of him.

“I just wanted to know where my flashcards are. Its better to over prepare, than to be unprepared.” And if you knew Twilight, then you knew the latter wasn’t an option. Spike’s shoulders visibly drooped, though, to his credit, his smile never faltered once.

“Okay Twilight. We’ll study, again.” Like his smile, his tone had an air of unreasonable happiness, thought there was a lot of

emphasis on the last word, where his composure slipped momentarily.

“Spike, whats wrong?” Twilight asked in concern. Twilight had known spike for a while, and he almost never got like this. “You know I need to study for this test, this is probably the most important test of my life!” she was practically shouting by the end. Spike just shook his head.

“But no good things should be done in excess, it just isn't healthy. You’ll mentally strain yourself, and wont even remember half of the information anyways. Th best thing for you right now is rest.” Twilight was… for lack of better word; stunned. She had never heard such insight from her brother/friend/son, and quite frankly, it held more truth than she would like to admit.

“Your right spike, I need to get some rest. Thanks for the help!” she said tiredly, before slumping over to her bed, and fell asleep before she was able to put the covers on. Spike too went to bed. ‘Twilight has a long day tomorrow, I just hope she does well on this test.

(The next day)

The train lurched Twilight and Spike awake, signalling their arrival. Twilight didn't want to be late, so she set off, barely even remembering her bag, and spike. After she gathered her bearings, she quickly set off for the palace.

(Throne room)

“Are you sure about your decision sister?” Luna asked. “I know Twilight’s abilities far exceed anyone's’ expectations, but still, she is just a foal! You can’t rest the fate of an entire empire on the shoulders of someone so young, so, naive.” She finished, hoping her sister would see reason.

“I told you already Luna, the elements of harmony will be plenty enough to complete this task.” Replied Celestia. Her confidence in her student may seem excessive to most, but Luna had indeed seen her when she was determined. And when that happens, nothing can set her from her path-

Just then, a guard burst in the door.

“Princesses, i'm afraid we have a problem!” The guard said, shifting uncomfortably. Obviously something was eating away at him.

“What is it?” both sisters asked in unison.

“It appears that there is some… creature? It is at the edge of the Everfree, and it just seems to sit there.” This statement made the guard seemingly snap to his senses, and became nervous. One did not just interrupt the two most respected ponies in all the land on account of something so trivial.

“And?” asked Luna, who was beginning to smile.

“Well, all I know about it is that it isn't any creature that I have ever seen before. I think It walks on two legs, and it is wearing some kind of clothing…” but he never got to finish, because by now both of the royal sisters were in hysterics. The calm, jovial laughter of Celestia, and the loud, dominating laugh of her younger sister.

This went on for what seemed like hours, before Twilight walked in, and gave a questioning glance at the guard. He just gave a shrug and backed away, bowing as he did. With Twilight now in the room, they calmed down a bit, and then took on a more serious expression.

“As you know, I have called you here for a test, Twilight Sparkle.” Twilight gulped at this. Very rarely was the princess of the sun so… formal. And serious.

“The test is unlike any you have ever taken, and no amount of studying could have helped you prepare for it.” At this, twilight stopped unpacking her bag, and looked confused. Princess Celestia went on. “the Crystal Empire has returned.”

(edge of everfree forest)

‘Oh shit, my head hurts’ were the first thoughts that graced wolverines still-recovering brain. He looked around him, and all he saw were trees. “Damn it, when I find Charles I’ll…” then he cut off. And lowered his head again. ‘All of it was sacrificed so I could try to make the world a better place.’ He thought to himself.

“Well, better not start by laying down, time to get to work.” Then he proceeded to wander about the forest. He recognized nothing. That is, untill he came to the place he woke up in.

“I’m walking in circles… oh god damn it!” he reached in his pocket and found a cigar. After cropping it, he reached in his pocket for a lighter. After searching for a while, he found one, and lit the cigar. He then took in his surroundings again. While he was ‘calmed’ from the cigar, he wasn't even near serene. He started punching the trees after he wandered around for hours. He shot out his claws experimentally, only to find there were still metal. ‘huh’, he thought, before shooting only one out, and started marking trees to find a way out.

(Cottage)

Fluttershy was outside, tending to the needs of several squirrels, by doing things like feeding them, and giving them blankets. She smiled, knowing that Twilight was probably taking her test right now. After helping the last squirrel fix up they’re home, she was trotting inside when she heard a metal clang against wood. Then she heard,

“Well, now I've seen everything.” Before she could comprehend she felt a rough hand pat her on the head. After letting out what was arguably the most adorable squeak in existence, she heard something laugh. It was probably male, because it was rather gruff and deep. It wasn't a very good-natured laugh either. It was rather short, like he was expecting something to pop out of nowhere. Only then did she turn around, and boy did she not want to do that again.

(Cottage [Wolverine’s POV])

After slicing through a vine, ever so silently, he over swung and hit a tree. After looking past it, into the almost blinding light, he saw what appeared to be a small yellow horse with a pink mane. “Well, now I’ve seen everything,” was all he could spare, as he felt the sanity slowly leave him. So, he walked non-chelauntly, and patted it on the head. Then, it squeaked. Like a mouse. What. The. Actual fuck. He was about to do it again, when he smelled something. Like as if he were being watched. Then the yellow horse-thing turned around, and immediately her eyes widened and her pupils shrank. She started backing up slowly, before screaming,

“Monster!!!”

Now, Logan liked to think himself a rational, kinda intelligent guy. He could solve problems pretty quick, and exterminate the problems quicker. But the one thing that was his bane, was apparently talking horses. ‘To think that they calm me down, psh’. To add to the effect, she then ran into the house.

“…” was all he could think, say; he couldn't really function yet. Then he just walked over to the door, and knocked on it.

“Hello, are you in there?” he asked. As much as he hated it, he knew what he had to do.

“Ugh, fine. I’m sorry for scaring you like that, I just had my entire world fucked before my very eyes, and watched to few people I could call my friends slaughtered by big metal robots, so excuse my fuckin behaviour please?” He didn’t even know why he told her this, there was just something about her that made him want keep her happy. And scaring her into the confinement of her own home aint happiness, he knew that already

“Y-your really s-s-sorry?” asked a small voice, completely different from that which screamed mere moments ago. It was almost adorable.

“yea, sorry about that kid.” Said wolverine. He wasn't just going to murder his own pride at this one horses expense, but he did what he felt was necessary. The door opened, revealing a cowering pink and yellow blob on the floor, which looked up at him with sad eyes, but the was something else there. It made him feel like she could read his every emotion. So, he broke eye contact. After inviting himself inside, he noticed all the animals. They were all staring at him. But, when he went to look at one, the immediately looked away. It was an uncomfortable feeling, so he simply just left.

“Excuse me um, sir,” Fluttershy began, but wolverine simply gave her his name.

“Wolverine.” Short, sweet, and to the point. As always.

“yes, Mr. Wolverine, I just wanted to know… what are you?”

He turned back, and gave her a look that plainly said,

“You don’t wanna know.”

(Ponyville, later that day)

“Welcome to Carousel Boutique- oh, Fluttershy, I didn't expect to see you here!” she said, seeing her friend walk in was entirely unexpected.

“oh, well, I just wanted to talk to you about something.” She said, shy as ever.

“Alright, what is it darling?”

“Well you see, there was this big monster that came out of the Everfree and then it walked up to me and patted my head, but that wasn't the end then it went to my cottage and apologized for it’s actions so now I don’t know if it is bad or not so please help me Rarity I don’t know what to do!” She screamed out, entirely too fast for comprehension.

“So, you think you may have befriended a monster, but don’t know?” she said deliberately and slowly, as if to accentuate the point.

“Yes, and I would have told Twilight, but she’s already going to Canterlot, so I didn't know who else to go to-“

“MONSTER!!!” screamed someone from outside to shop.

“Oh for fuck’s sake, can you calm your ass down?” Yelled a gruff, rather irritated voice.

“THE MONSTER CAN TALK, RUN EVERYPONY!!” yelled to unmistakable voice of a certain pink mare. Then, just as suddenly, one could hear the sound of digging, and then the afore-said pink mare came out of the floor of the boutique, before quickly plugging the hole back up.

“Alright everypony I think we lost him.”

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*

“just a second dear,” said rarity, before walking over to the door. She opened it, and then passed out. In front of her was a very unhappy looking Wolverine, who had several choice kinds of silverware sticking out of his body.

“Do I need to leave this place too?”

(Ponyville, mere minutes before)

Logan was having a bad day. First, he gets front row seats in watching his friends die. Then he wakes up in a forest, that was on what he could gather was a different world all together. Then, on top of that, the dominant species is ponies. How could today get any worse?

Bye going to town.

He walked into town as to find a way to get back to where he was supposed to be, when he noticed something. No one was even a bit surprised that he was there. He could feel glares drilling deep into his back, but other than that they took no notice of him. Then, he saw a rainbow streak fly right past him. He stopped walking, and asked, “who are you?”

“My name’s rainbow dash, and I wanna know who the hay you are, and why you’re here in the first place.” She said. Something about her kinda pissed Logan off. For one, she seemed to think herself a big deal, and also her bravado was a little… flamboyant. As well as her colouration. Sighing, Logan replied, “My name is Wolverine, and I’ve had just about enough shit today. Please get out of my way, or lead me to the rulers of your land, so I can get my ass outta here.” Hopefully, she wouldn't continue the subject. Apparently, she took his words as a challenge.

“You want me to get out of your way? How about you make me!” she screamed. He just stood up a little straighter, and said,

“You don’t want me to.” And with that, he started walking forwards again. Rainbow tried to step in his way, but found he was as heavy as he looks, and actually heavier than that. It was like trying to stop a brick wall from walking forwards. If that brick wall had a skeleton integrated with Adamantium. But, who’s into specifics anyways. The part that matters, is that she was knocked over immediately.

Rainbow was never the brightest. However, that’s no excuse to go around attacking a different and potentially (very) dangerous creature. She flew backwards a little ways. At this, wolverine was mildly amused. He simply stood there and watched. She then slowed her flight and turned around. At this, everypony went indoors. He looked around and thought to himself ‘oh joy, what next’. She then descended right at him. Faster than he reacted, 3 things happened. 1, there was a sonic boom, right next to him. 2 the change in pressure ripped a good portion of his flesh off and launched him into the building behind him, knocking the wall in. 3 there was a rainbow that went overtop the town.

(Wolverine, same place)

‘Oh jesus-‘ was all he could even think before he felt a tearing sensation in his everything. His arms were stripped the the bone in some places, his eardrums popped, and he felt like his insides exploded. Then he found himself laying in a house he didn’t know was there.

“OHMYGOD, im so sorry!” yelled rainbow dash. “Are you okay?”

Wolverine stood up, and looked down at his body.

“Well, that was some move you got there kid, I gotta tell you, its pretty good.” Said wolverine, making the shocked rainbow dash’s pupils shrink to pinpricks. She then saw all of his bodyparts slowly regenerate. Wincing as he watched on himself, wolverine continued. “Listen kid, I don’t know what you just did, but I don’t appreciate-“

“MONSTER!” screamed the owner of what he could now know was the kitchen. Suddenly someone started throwing knives in his still regenerating body, along with forks, and even a spoon.

“Ah, what the fuck is wrong with you?”

After seeing the ‘dead’ being stand up, everypony panicked, and ran in random directions. The only place not overrun with the chaos he had inadvertently caused was this rather large and intricately designed white building. It had a variety of multicoloural streamer-things on it, and so wolverine approached it. ‘God this place is gay’ thought wolverine, as he began to knock very loudly at the door.

“Just a second dear,” said a very heavily accented voice. ‘Now I have to deal with nobility, god dammit’ he thought. ‘When I asked if this day could get worse I didn't mean it as a challenge!’ just then the door opened, revealing a very pretentious looking unicorn with a fancy looking bathrobe on. But as soon as it looked at the large man in front of her, she just fainted.

“Do I have to leave this place too?”

(Boutique, 3rd omniscient for this portion)

“No, of course you don’t silly, you haven't even had a party yet!” yelled a rather exuberant voice from behind him. “I mean, COME ON, you haven't even met everypony yet, you've only just arrived!-“ after that moment, Logan zoned out, rarity remained unresponsive on the floor, and Fluttershy was worried about all of the forks and knives in him. Interrupting pinkie, Fluttershy said,

"Um, excuse me Mr. Wolverine, but there are a lot of, um, forks and knives sticking out of you. Are you okay?” at this, Logan simply scoffed.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’ve dealt with much worse before, trust me.” And with that he started pulling out the silverware from his body. Then, a rainbow coloured blur flew inside the boutique, grabbed Fluttershy and rarity, saluted to pinkie, and then flew away just as quickly as she had come.

“What was that all about?”

(Sweet apple acres)

“Now that’s what ah call a hard days work, right big mac?”

“Eeyup,” was the simple reply. As they gathered the apples they had bucked, they could have sworn they heard someone shout “Monster!” but then again, it was probably their imagination. Applejack looked at her brother to see if he had heard it, but there wasn't even so much as a change in walking pace.

They had been working near-mechanically, as if they were robots almost. The same routine every day kinda did that to you. It

wasn't until a certain rainbow blur shot past them all and into her barn when applejack finally slowed.

“Hey, er, did ya’ll see that?”

“Eeyup,” came the reply of her older brother. They both made their way over to the barn to see what the problem was. They already knew it was rainbow, so that’s what they had expected to find when they opened the barn door. What they didn’t expect was a shocked pinkie, a passed out a rarity, and a worried Fluttershy to all be sitting in a circle. Rainbow wasn’t present, but they could hear her frustrated yelling coming from further within the barn. Applejack gave her older brother a look and, with that, he nodded once in silent agreement and went over to where he heard rainbow. Applejack went to the others, and a certain other was making his way to the barn.

“Oh, im not startled silly! I just didn't want to leave the newest member of ponyville all alone and with no friends!” Said a rather exuberant pink mare. Applejack sighed and looked to the others for confirmation. She got no response, but she figured they were still in shock from whatever happened. ‘Maybe it was a monster after all?’ she speculated. Though, she had nothing to go off of other than that which she assumed, and she learned a while ago that that was no good. ‘I’m just gonna see who the new guy is, and then if he aint all that bad, we’ll try and turn over a new leaf’.

(Wolverine)

“You know what, nothing surprises me anymore,” wolverine said to himself in an undertone. He had just gotten out of that hell-hole of a town, and was now making his way over to the country-side in the direction of where he saw residual rainbow. ‘Who would have thought that I’s actually be following a rainbow as a means of direction’ he thought to himself, smirking as he did so.

“Um, excuse me mister…?” said a voice from behind him. He jumped into action from being surprised, but when he turned around to land a punch on the attacker’s nose, he found nothing was there. Remembering where he was, he looked down to a rather startled purple unicorn.

“Oh, what do you want?” he said in a rather condescending tone; he had had about enough of these ponies.

“I just wanted to know where you were going, because you look like a very interesting creature.” She said. “Even if you are scary,” she added, shivering a little as the words left her mouth.

“Well, you got some courage, kid, for approaching me like this. Why don’t you join your town in cowering in fear in case I might ‘eat you’.” He had spat the last part out. It wasn't in a ‘oh damn, I wanted to be accepted’ kind of way, it was more of a ‘keep making shit up and ill murder your whole town’ kinda way. This, added to his more than intimidating appearance, made her even more nervous than before.

“I have not come here to ridicule you, I came her due to the princess’ orders to be our ambass-“

“Princess? You have a princess?” if he were in a good mode, wolverine might have given a big hearty laugh. No, he wouldn’t have, though that statement was rather amusing.

“Yes, and I wanted to inform you that we wish to have peace with your-“

“My race right?” he asked. She nodded, and was about to continue when he said, “Won’t be finding any of them here.” She looked confused, but motioned him to go on. “What im saying is, that I don’t think I’m from this world. As confusing as that may be, I was supposed to be transported to the past, but something disrupted it.” It actually unnerved him that he could pretend not to remember his friends being killed right before he was ‘teleported’, but I suppose its because of his experience.

“OHMYGOSH, so does that make you an alien, or are you just from the future? Do we all end up looking like you, or maybe your from a different dimension? I have so many questions for you!” she practically screamed at him, though he had long since ignored her. He felt his primal senses throw up warning signs, like he was being watched.

“-and why do you have so much blood on you? Is that a defense mechanism-?” wolverine had stuck his hand over her mouth to shut her up.

“Be quiet, I think were being watched.” Her eyes widened but she stopped struggling. He slowly took his hand off her mouth and got into a defensive position. Then an orange pony in a stetson charged at him, and threw a lasso onto his shoulders, and tugged it tight around his neck. The sheer speed at which this was done took him by surprise, and the strength the orange one wielded was enough to take him off his feet. Though, the surprise didn’t last long, and his well toned arms reached up and he loosened the honda knot that had been tied. It was a rather complicated knot for hooves, but he was occupied for now.

“What the hell was that for!” yelled wolverine, rushing the orange horse. She dove to the side, reared onto her front legs, and bashed both of her hooves into the centre of his rib cage. There was a loud banging sound and a groan as the orange earth mare had fallen onto the right of her face, and collapsed to the ground. Wolverine looked down to find that the adamantium was still there, despite going into the past.

“Huh, so I guess im not in the past after all.” He said aloud. Twilight, despite knowing the full truth, was angered that her friend was injured and on the ground, so she cast a sleep spell onto wolverine. Wolverine felt tired, and in no time at all had collapsed back onto the ground. Twilight sighed in relief.

“This isn’t gonna be as hard as I thought.”