Lyra Screws Up Big Time

“What have you done to my roommate!?” Carrot Top ranted. “Have you guys lost your minds?!” she had arrived at Lyra and Bon Bon’s house and Derpy was still tied to the couch. Derpy beamed up at her best friend.

“Mahalo, Carrot Top!” she greeted cheerfully.

“Oh, Derpy, are you okay?”  The detective asked.

Derpy nodded. “Happier than a parasprite in a bakery! By the way, this is all my idea. I cannot be trusted. So I asked Lyra and Bon Bon to keep me away from anypony else until they solve the case. Clever, huh?”

Carrot Top turned her attention to the two other ponies in the room. “Okay, this has gone far enough. You tied my roommate to the couch! You know how insane this is right?”

Bon Bon vigorously nodded, looking slightly guilty. “Yes.”

Lyra merely shrugged. “You call it insane, we call it Tuesday.”

“It’s Thursday.”

“Is it really?”

“Its fine, C.T.,” Derpy assured her friend. “I got everything I need and more!”

Carrot top’s face twisted in worry. “But what is something happens? What if to g-go to the… bathroom?”

Derpy smiled. “All covered. A little something I can depend on.”

It took Carrot Top three split seconds to realize what Derpy was wearing under that lab coat. She whirled around and glared at Lyra and Bon Bon. “She’s wearing diapers?” The girls nodded nervously.

Derpy raised her chin. “Lyra, a snack, perhaps?”

Lyra immediately and started for the kitchen. “What would you like?”

Derpy thought for a moment. “Ooh, uh, Serrano ham on rye, touch of whole grain mustard and a slice of queso. Perhaps a muffin. Anything domestic. Surprise me!”

Lyra came back from the kitchen. “We have Cheese Trumpets.”

“That’ll do! Would you be a doll and gently feed me?” Lyra struggled to open the bag, and it burst wide open, spraying Derpy with Cheese Trumpets. Derpy was unfazed. “Thanks, friend!”

Carrot Top had had enough. “Okay, this is too much!” she  burst out. “I’m gonna set Derpy free! It’s the right thing to do, end of story!” she started to pull off the tape that help Derpy to the couch.

Bon Bon shook her head. “No, wait, Carrot! You don’t understand!”

Derpy looked her friend square in the eye. More or less. “I wouldn’t do that,” she warned. “I spilled truth powder on myself. I know you’re knee deep in this, Carrot Top. I’ll sing like a bird to anypony who will listen!” Carrot gave out a frustrated sigh, and put the tape back on. Just then, Carrot’s phone rang. It was Lassiter. Hastily, she answered.

“Hey, Canine,” she sighed. She nodded. “Sounds good. Okay.” She paused. “Where am I?” she frantically looked around at her friends for answers. They all violently shook their heads. “I…. I’m at the… lady doctor.” Lyra and Bon Bon face-hoofed. “Okay, okay, I’m sorry. Okay bye.” She hung up the phone. “Dang it, you two!" She seethed. “I just lied to my partner!”

Bon Bon’s face was scrunched up in disgust. “You said lady doctor?”

Carrot Top hopped up on all fours. “Well, I panicked! I got all flustered! I have to go meet him at the station. He was just at Blossom’s house, she’s not there, but the neighbor saw her leaving in some workout clothes, which is weird because she doesn't have a gym membership anywhere in town, so we’re gonna expedite a search warrant.” With one last glance at everyone, she left with a huff.

As soon as she left, Bon Bon remembered a jogging path at the park. She turned to her best friend. “I think I know where Blossom might be.”

Later that day, Blossomforth was jogging down the trail at top speed. She was more of a runner than a flier, luckily for Lyra and Bon Bon, who appeared behind Blossom, wearing gym clothes of their own.

Lyra managed to catch up with Blossom first. “First of all, Blossom,” she panted. “Good morning.”

Blossom jumped, but kept on running. “Oh my goodness, you scared me!” she gasped.

“We know what you did,” Lyra said. “So, you can do us all a favor, and stop running.” Blossom kept going. “Seriously, I mean, please, I’m begging you… stop running!”

Bon Bon gasped for air. “We get it okay? You can run.” She huffed. “You’re a runner. But what we need to do right now is stop and turn yourself in!”

“Yes!” Lyra agreed.

Blossom’s eyes darted back and forth. “Okay!” she cried. “I admit it!” Lyra and Bon Bon looked at each other with wide grins. “I hated Creech so much,” the former secretary confessed. “So, I put eye drops into his coffee. Hey, I’m not proud of it!”

Bon Bon was quickly losing steam, but she managed to keep up. “So, that’s why Creech was throwing up?” she wheezed.

Blossom nodded. “But when I returned later that night to pick up some files, I found him laying on the floor. Dead.”

Blossomforth gasps as she sees her former boss laying on the ground, motionless. Panicked, she turned and ran out of the room, but not before she knocked over a vase with one of her wings.

“I had no idea the eye drops would kill him!” By now, Lyra was lagging behind.

Bon Bon’s heart sank at this news. “Blossom, what you didn’t see… where the stab wounds  on his back. You didn't kill your boss!”

Blossom gasped, and she grinned from ear to ear. “I really didn't kill that sorry excuse for a pony?” she exclaimed happily. She now had a bounce in her step as she ran.

“No!” Lyra shouted, now keeping up. “Now can we please stop running!”

Blossom shook her head. “No way!” she shouted gleefully. “I’m so happy, I feel like I could run forever!”

Bon Bon scowled. “Don’t you say that!” she yelled. “Don’t you say that!”

Lyra was now able to jog alongside Blossom. “Okay, okay, Blossom. You were Creech’s assistant, so you must know better than anypony who might have it out for him.”

Blossom scoffed. “How about… everypony on the sales team, yourself included. I mean, seriously, his job paid a million bucks, but… corporate loved him. He was a star.”

Bon Bon turned her head to Lyra. “That’s it, Lyra. A million bucks.” She said as they turned a corner. “Whoever killed him must’ve been the one who was next in line for his job.” Lyra only wheezed back in reply. Both mares were slowing down considerably.

“So, Blossom,” Lyra gasped “Thank you… for… your assistance.” Both mares finally came to a stop, and watched Blossomforth disappear behind a corner before they collapsed from exhaustion.

After Lyra and Bon Bon had recovered and showered, they returned to Lyra’s work building. “I said it once, and I’ll say it again,” Lyra told her friend. “I do not feel comfortable being here right now.” They turned, and started walking up a flight of fancy looking stairs.

“Would you relax?” Bon Bon said, rolling her eyes. “Don’t worry. We’re gonna figure out who’s next in line for Creech’s job and hopefully get them to fess up right now.”

Lyra still looked doubtful. “Well, we better do it quick, because I can tell I’m already guilty in everypony’s eyes. You know it’s only a matter of time before Sally gets the teeth writing results back, and then I’m done, Bon Bon. Done!” she squeaked.

Bon Bon’s expression turned serious. “I think you’re right, Lyra,” she said quietly, looking at the unicorn with concern. “He might already have those results.” They suddenly heard an all too familiar voice from above.

“Miss Heartstrings!”

The girls’ heads snapped up to see Sally and Merry at the top of the stairs in front of them. Both were looking down at Lyra sternly.

“Would you care to join Mr. Sally and myself in the conference room? Alone?” Mr. Merry asked.

Lyra anxiously glanced at Bon Bon, who looked beyond worried.

Sally pursed his lips. “Miss Heartstrings, please.” Lyra gulped and slowly climbed up the stairs.

In the conference room, Lyra sat in front of a desk, sitting in a chair in her own special way. Sally and Merry were behind the desk.

“Sally here has uncovered details of a public confrontation you had with Mr. Creech yesterday.” Merry stated.

Lyra giggled nervously. “Oh, oh, I don’t know if I’d call it a confrontation.”

“Oh, no?”

“No.”

Merry picked up a blue file. “You told him, and I quote, ‘Say hello to Cerberus after you fly first class to the fire pits of hell, you black hearted baby girl cad.’”

Lyra quickly shook her head.”Mmm, I don’t think those were my exact words.” Merry and Sally didn’t seem convinced.

“You know what this is evidence of, Miss Heartstrings?” Merry said, staring into her eyes.

Lyra’s heart started pounding faster and faster.

Merry smiled. “This is evidence of a mare with a ton of guts.”

Lyra blinked. “I-I’m sorry, what?”

Merry put away the file. “You’re fearless, Heartstrings,” Merry said proudly.

“I’m sorry, I’m not following.”

“You stand up to authority figures and that’s exactly what we’re looking for in a new leader.” Lyra’s eyebrows shot up. “Congratulations, Lyra,” Merry smiled. “You’re the new Vice president of this branch of Central Coast.”

Lyra grinned. “Holy Cow!” she exclaimed.

Merry smiled and extended his hoof. “Welcome to the club!” Lyra quickly shook his hoof, practically bubbling over with excitement, and Sally put his hoof on top of theirs. “Okay,” Merry said, withdrawing his hoof. “That’s enough touching. Now, Heartstrings, you’re a mare of power here now. That being said, I’m gonna have to ask you to freshen it up.”

“Freshen what up?”

“Freshen yourself up.” Merry said. “Make yourself sing, Heartstrings! And I’m talking about the Naughty Opera.”

Lyra slightly tilted her head to the side. “I don’t know what that means.”

Merry smiled. “It means go live the ‘you’re not the boss of me’ dream.” He turned to his companion. “Sally, anything to add?”

Sally nodded. “Yes I do.” He looked Lyra square in the eye. “Miss Heartstrings, now that you’re calling the shots around here, I’m sure you’ll agree, our top priority should still be figuring out who killed Mr. Creech.”

Lyra nodded uneasily. “Oh… yeah. That’s the tippy top.”

Sally nodded. “I’m closing in on the culprit,” he said with a mysterious smile. “Oh yes. The teeth writing experts have narrowed it down.”

Lyra swallowed hard. No…

“Obviously, you will be…”

Lyra held her breath.

“…Excluded.”  Lyra’s mouth hung open.

Merry burst out laughing. “Of course, she’s excluded! Don’t be ridiculous, Sally,” he chuckled. “You’re the boss! You can murder anypony you want!” Both stallions laughed together. Lyra chuckled nervously.

“I almost forgot to mention,” Sally said, wiping away a tear.

Lyra braced herself. “What… what’s that?”she asked timidly.

Sally chuckled. “The video surveillance hard drives are in the final stages of data recovery.” He was back to his original state. “Soon, we’ll have an image of whoever was coming and going at the time of the murder.”

Lyra was screaming on the inside, but she managed to keep herself calm on the outside. “Oh…okay.” Both stallions gave her serious stares.

Merry then broke the silence. “Nice work, Sally,” he said reaching into his suitcase, and pulled out a sticker. “That’s a scratch-n-sniff sticker for you.” He said, handing it to him. Sally smiled.

“Congratulations.” Lyra said weakly.

Merry nodded. “Go lead the troops, boss mare.” Lyra started towards the door, feeling like she was about to throw up. “Hey, Heartstrings!” Merry called out. “One more thing.” Lyra turned. “You’re gonna have to lose the Lemon Meringue lotion you’re sporting.” Lyra’s eyebrows knitted together, and she sniffed her shoulder. “Frankly, It’s an embarrassment.” He said simply. “You smell like a jerk.” Lyra blushed, and quickly left the room. Merry nodded towards Sally’s sticker. “Go ahead. Scratch it. Sniff it.”

Sally nodded, and did just that. He smiled. “Bananas.”

Merry struck a pose, leaning over the desk. “Bingo.”