College Expenses

VH: LAST TIME, ON COLLEGE EXPENSES! RARITY THE TRICKSY TAILOR OF THE TWICE THRICED GROUP WE KNOW AS THE MANE 6 WAS BEING A NOSEY OUT OF CHARACTER BITCH, WHICH DOESN’T MATTER BECAUSE THE SHOW DOESN’T HAVE THEM FUCKING EACH OTHER SO THEY’RE ALL OUT OF CHARACTER ANYWAY. ALSO, UNBEKNOWNST TO OUR DEAR VIEWERS, SHE HAS A MYSTERIOUS TRAUMA THAT COMPELS HER TO SPY ON TWILIGHT’S LOVER.

K: Actually she’s just displacing her own massive sexual frustration and desire for someone besides Applejack because they’re paired together so often that I’d like to see something different, like Derpy maybe, or Roseluck... Yeah, lets go with Roseluck, she needs more love.

VH: BUT BACK TO THE STORY!:

Alex backpedaled as stealthily as possible, which was not at all since his two interrogators, Rarity and Fluttershy, were already standing right in front of him, and had more brains than a rock.

“Dear, come relax. You look so tense.” Alex rolled her eyes at the B grade villain dialogue. Then chilled as he spotted some massage oil being levitated in the corner of his big cute eyes.

“Rares, I’m fine. I just need to talk to Twilight.” Alex smiled as she felt his flank smack into the doorframe. Almost- the door was telekinetically closed before he could make a run for it.

“A-are you sure you don’t want to stick around Ice?” Fluttershy asked, that stupid sexy face of hers starting to pout. Alex’s heart twisted in on itself wanting to cuddle that face, but he just kept reminding himself that he was cuter and that he could hold himself once he was safe.

Fluttershy found herself trotting towards the cute filly for the second time that day, again totally against her will. Well, more like without her will saying anything about it one way or the other. In fact, her will was perfectly happy to be getting closer and closer to cute little Ice. Especially with that convenient bottle of massage oil right behind the cute little mare.

Alex didn’t stand a chance. As soon as Twilight was out of the picture, he was helpless to stop the two larger mares from ponyhandling him onto a massage table. Nor could he stop Fluttershy from giving a massage that was way too touchy-feely-gropey for his liking.
Nor could he stop Rarity from questioning him.

“So dear, just in case Pinkie plans a party for you, what sort of foods do you like?” Alex blinked at the seemingly innocent question.

“I, um, I like sour things, lemon pie for example.” Rarity blinked. Was enjoying sour things weird for ponies? They enjoyed hot foods, cold foods, why not sour? Wait, was Rarity writing it down?! The heck?!

“So, what’s your favorite color?”

“Red.”

“Favorite music?”

“Electronic.”

“Favorite past times?”

“What do you mean?”

“What do you do for fun, darling.” Alex searched desperately for something that would fit the given past and at least half the truth.

“Ummm… drawing is nice.”

“It certainly is, but surely you do things besides draw?”

“I write short stories, but they never go anywhere.”

“Oh? Why is that? I imagine that if I had ever written anything I would want to see it through.”

“Would if I could.”

“Could? is there something stopping you?”

“Eh, not good enough.”Alex blanched as Rarity wrote that down too.

“Now then, perhaps you do something besides drawing and writing? I would imagine that to be the case, no pony’s that two dimensional.”

“I...uh…” Alex drooped a little. “Well… I like sci… nevermind.”

“...Sci?”

“nothing.”

“Alright darling, now, what about your favorite type of book?”

“... I refuse to answer any more questions without my lawyer present.” If you can’t be honest, then be weird. These ponies probably had a dozen working lie detection spells on the market.

“... Darling? Did you just threaten me with legal counsel?” Alex refused to look at her.

“sigh.”

Twilight Frowned as she ushered Alex out of the spa.

“Did you really threaten her with legal counsel?” He didn’t bother looking at Twilight either.

"If you can't outsmart them, then you be weird." He muttered as if answering. Twilight gave his mane a rustle. "Where were you that whole time anyway?" He continued, trying to get her attention away from his head while he put his mane back into place.

Vera sighed gently as she mixed up a fresh batch of massage oil. The spa sisters salon used their own mixture of oils and scents to make their signature massage oil. Her back to the door of one of the spa’s back rooms as she faced the mixing table, her ear twitched when she noticed the pop of the door’s latch as it opened.

Twilight slipped in quietly after checking that both her friends and Vera’s sisters weren’t around to keep their conversation private. As much as she loved them, platonically, she knew that there was no way the entire town wouldn’t hear about her secretly meeting one of the spa sisters in the back room alone if it got back to either Rarity or Rainbow.

"V-Vera we need to talk." Twilight began nervously. Vera jumped softly, but didn't panic. Her ears, however, folded as they were along with the visible nervousness in her body language and that she hadn’t turned to speak with her told Twilight all she needed to know about just how close Vera had come to panicking.

“W-What do you want to talk about princess?”

"Y-you've been a great friend to me, and I know you want to be more, and I just want you to know..." Twilight blushed. "If this whole mess hadn't come up I wouldn't have had any issue saying yes, and even though there is this mess I might not be able to say no." Vera felt her heart soar. Dreams were coming true, right here, so far from her bed.

"The thing is." Vera felt her heart stop. "I can't leave Alex's contract broken. It isn't money or anything like that. If I fail he'll never get to go home again." Vera nodded, uncertain where this was going. "So while I will say yes, I can't drop Alex. Whether or not you want to ask knowing that..."

Vera wasn't a dumb mare or a haughty mare. She knew that if she let Twilight go now, the Alicorn's heart wouldn't remain true for four years. At the same time she wasn't too good to take a princess of the realm with a colt on the side.

True love was staring her in the eye, con routed baggage bearing love, but love nonetheless. She'd be a fool to reject. Now to tell Twilight that.

Twilight blinked in surprise as a soft pair of lips embraced her own.

Twilight smiled as Vera nuzzled up to her. Alex smiled half heartedly as the approached the treebrary.

"I'm sorry I'm messing things up for you." He apologized gently. The two futanaris giggled softly and flanked him on either side.

"Don't be. If it wasn't for you, I might have never gotten the push needed to confess to Twilight." Vera admitted gently into his ear.

"Plus," Twilight whispered in the other, "in order to ensure things are fair, we've decided that she gets a turn with you every once in a while."

Alex shivered.