Author's Note

In case your wondering how he figured out how to fight and use the guns so quickly, instinct. I believe that whenever someone gets sent to Equestria as their character, they inherit the character's fighting abilities. Though they don't know how to use them, their instincts tell them what to do, since they are now that character.

Prologue part 2: Alucard Fights the Law

Once I stood up, I did a body check to make sure I what I think was supposed to happen, happened. Arms and legs, long a skinny. Clothes, one hundred percent real, I thought as I tugged on my coat. Fangs? I put my finger in my mouth, and felt a slight pain as I pulled away. There was blood on my finger. Check. Eyes? I took my glasses off, and squinted to look into my reflection. They shined a light purple. Ok, that means I have the Schrodinger powers. Lastly, guns? I reached into my pocket as I pulled out Alucard's signature pistols, the Casul and the Jackal.

Not wanting to waste any time, I put the Jackal in my mouth and pulled the trigger.

You wanna know something cool about being Alucard? You feel no pain. Seriously, I put an explosive, silver tipped, blessed, mercury round, right through my skull and I didn't feel a thing. Now, what I did feel was my head slowly reforming and giving me back my vision in one eye. I must say, it wasn't unpleasant. Then, I looked into the sky and laughed, and I noticed my voice too, now sounded like Alucard's epic one.

Once I stopped laughing, I decided that I might as well give these ponies a taste of my powers. Plus, it would be a good excuse to see if I actually could use Schrodinger's "everywhere and nowhere" powers. Put down my guns, put my hand in front my face, kind of like how Goku does when he uses instant transmission, and closed my eyes. I simply thought Ponyville, and I felt my body being shifted through the cosmos, the universe itself seeming bent on getting me to my destination. And before I knew it, I landed in Ponyville.

With a shit-eating grin on my face, I surveyed the town, and became aware of something. I was smack dab in the middle of a group of guards, and I was sitting standing on one of them.

My first thought: Fuck Yes.

General Gleaming Spear, was having a boring day. Her squad had just successfully stopped the rape of a mare by a known serial rapist. Spear didn't really care about the name, just that he was head to Canterlot to be executed. She looked around at her squad, a bunch of male rookies. Now, she knew they were having an even worse day than she was. Most of them had signed on to her unit because, they were normally the first into the fight when a war started. They had all hoped they would get some glory, go to the tavern and hire some whores to "entertain them all" for about five bits an hour.

Instead here they were, carting off a criminal, who didn't even put up much of a fight.

"General, ma'am," said a random soldier who came up to Spear, " I...uh...have to go ma'am...it's...an-" Spear put up a hand to stop him from blabbering any further. "Just go squire," she said the tiredness evident in her voice. The teenager(no more than 15) shot off down an alley way where no one could see him. Spear sighed, she knew that he was probably masturbating to her back there, some kind of fantasy he thought up when he looked at her. It had become almost routine in the past three days. With her being the only mare in the squad, not to mention her D-Cupped breast(made modest by her golden armor), fur that was almost as white as Celestia's and flowing blue mane and tail, she had come to accept that it was either this or take on her five squad mates at the same time. And she would not do the latter.

After all, she was still a virgin, and planned to keep it that way until marriage, as was customary for the children of noble (her Spear family had served the Equestrian military for generations). But as time went on, even that started to appear like a pleasant option. She just wished something, anything would-OOF!

At that moment, something heavy landed on her.

I looked around at the guards that had me surrounded, obviously surprised that I had just fallen out of the sky.

I fixed them with a shit-eating grin, "Sup fella's! How's your health plan?" Afterwards, I felt something shift underneath me as a white head came out from shouting, " Don't just stand there! Kill this fiend!" Now, at this point I could've just dodged all of their swords and spears, and then annihilated them, but I decided to have a little fun. So, I stood up, put out my arms in the universal language of "Come at me Bros!" and just stood there as they turned me into a pincushion. As I fell to the ground and looked up at the sky.

Another grin came upon my face as I looked up. It was night time. And the moon was full.

The being that seemed to drop out of the sky, fell down into a puddle of its own blood. Once back up, Spear went over and got a good look at the creature. It was unlike anything that she had ever seen in the Everfree before, bipedal in stature, but it had claws on both its arms and legs. Its clothing was a bright red, almost the same color as its blood. Judging by its facial structure, Spear could see it appeared to be a male with a weird "skin" over its body and dark black hair on its head, its headwear thrown off in the ensuing bloodshed.

Satisfied that the fiend was dealt with, but a little disappointed that the battle had ended so quickly, she turned to her men, the squire that had gone behind the alley now back with his armor on and weapon ready," Good job, my companions. Now, let us-" she was cut off as they began to here a weird type of laughter. The laugh was deep, dark, and full of the desire for bloodshed. It seemed to come from everywhere, causing her and her squad to look around frantically, trying to find the source of the cackling.

Suddenly, one of her knights said," Look!" and pointed right behind her. She quickly spun around, spear at the ready, and was just about to drop her spear. There, in the middle of the dark road, only illuminated by the light of Luna's mood, stood the very same creature they had just cut down, without a scratch on him. He smiled, a smile that showed all his razor sharp teeth. This caused most the guards to begin to shake in their boots, Spear could tell. Hers was a species that was primarily a prey species, so when they saw a predator, their major instinct was to run.

The creature opened its mouth," APPARENTLY YOUR HEALTH PLAN IS GREAT!!" he(confirmed because of its masculine voice) then pulled two slender objects out of his coat. Spear yelled at her guards to charge.

They never stood a chance. I mean really, all I did was pulled the triggers on both Casull and Jackal one time each, and bam four of them had their heads blown off. The last one looked away from me, her(I'm guessing based on the fact that she was the one I landed on) momentum carrying her forward as she looked back at her men, big mistake. Using my inhuman speed, I rushed forth and grabbed her by her throat and held her up. She struggled, using her legs to buck me in the chest, but her attacks were futile.

I brought her close and sniffed at her, the smell of her blood making me lick my lips with hunger. She appeared to see this, and started to struggle even more, her heart rate increasing as she panicked. I moved her head so she could look in to my eyes, my vampiric powers taking control of her, and bringing her struggling to an end. Then I whispered in her ear," If you don't mind, when I bite you, scream for the Royal Sisters as loud as you can." I then opened my mouth wide and bit down on her neck. She did exactly as I told her and scream out for Celestia and Luna to help her.

Now, this was my first feeding, and I noticed something as I was draining her, I can see people's sexual experiences whenever I drink their blood. I looked through her memories and saw that she was in fact, a virgin. Good thing too, other wise I might've accidentally made a new vampire, and I didn't really want a sire, yet. I also noticed how sweet her blood was. It tasted like if you took your favorite candy and mixed it with your favorite drink, and it worked. I guessed that virgin blood tasted sweeter than others. I was cool with that.

Then, right as I was finished draining her, I saw a flash of light in the corner of my vision and knew my targets had arrived. I dropped the guard, who had fallen unconscious, and lo and behold, there were the Bitchy Sisters themselves. Luna, of course, had on purple armor and was wielding a great sword that seemed to shine with the moonlight. In complete contrast, Celestia had on bright gold armor, that seemed to shine out against the darkness, along with her spear.

Ever the brash one, Luna spoke first," Foul creature! What hast thou done to our knights!" I put on another grin as I replied," Oh nothing you know just the standard puttin' bullets in their heads, drinkin' their blood, and reading their minds. Say, that's some nice armor you got there, be a shame if something were to happen to it."

Celestia spoke next, " Who are't thou?"

I struck a poise, with both of my hands held out to my sides, firearms still there, "Well, I am known by many names, but you can just call me TheCrimsonFucker!" They both seemed taken aback by this," One, I believe it's 'bucker' and two, you dare use such vulgarity in the presence of the Princesses!" Luna said. I replied," Actually no, I believe that it is 'Fucker', two your not my princesses, and three, I would get down on my knees, but I'M NOT YOUR MOTHER LAST NIGHT!"

Once again they were taken aback, but instead of replying, Celestia began to glow white as I noticed what looked like jewelry on her began to light up. I grinned again, it's time to test my theory. I once again took on the "Come at me Bro!" stance, as Celestia fired what some bronies call the "Orbital Friendship Cannon" at me. When it hit, I felt something that even my theory couldn't predict me feeling.

Nothing.

Apparently, Celestia had turned me to stone, because I could still see them, but they let their guard down. I didn't waste anytime and immediately teleported behind Celestia. Before her sister could do a thing, I whispered in her ear," S'up bitch." Then I sank my fangs into her neck...

...and immediately recoiled, getting my fangs out of her.

You remember when I told you that virgin blood taste sweet, well none virgin blood taste the same as normal blood, sour and with a hint of iron. But apparently if you were to lose your virginity by unlawful means, your blood taste the worse. And Celestia, OOOOOOOH, you have no idea how bad it was. I can't even explain the taste, but I can explain why it's so foul to me. You see, Celestia did lose her virginity, to her dad. And no, I don't mean the 'Daddy what's that in your pants? You're about to find out sweety. Daddy noooooo!' kind of way. No, she raped her dad. Yeah, that's right, this holier than thou princess, tied daddy up, pulled of his robe, and rode him like you do a saddle horse, except the horse keeps screaming muffled 'NOOO! STOP! NOO!'

While I began to vomit up all of Celestia's blood, Luna rushed to her sister," Sister, are't thou ok? Why didn't the Elements work?" Celestia composed herself, still a bit shocked from my surprise attack, and turned to look her sister in the eye, "I do not know, but we must find a way to get rid of this evil being."

I got up, looked at them both and said, "OH I'M EVIL! Look whose talking, Misses "I RAPED MY FUCKING DAD!' Both of them looked taken aback by what I just said, "Yeah bitch, when I bit you, I got a look at the time you lost your virginity, and you did it through one of the most evil ways to lose it, which is why your blood was so sour to me, that I through it up! And judging by Luna's face, you kept all of this a secret from her." Luna's agape mouth was covered by one hand, as she backed away from her sister, "Sister...is....this-"

Sun Bitch, cut her off," Luna! We will discuss this later!" "But....I....father......you didn't have to......," not wanting to miss a chance to put my plan into motion, I rushed forward and bit down on Luna's neck, almost instantly injecting some of my blood into her. How did I know she was a virgin, simple, her and her sister are complete opposites. So, that must mean that she hasn't done anything yet.

Thankfully, I was correct and I must say, wow Luna. I mean, if that general back there was a virgin, that Luna was the virgin Goddess of virgins. Seriously, she had absolutely no sexual experiences in her life, she hadn't even masturbated yet. So, her blood was(and still is) the sweetest type of blood I have ever tasted. Remember when I said I couldn't describe Celestia's foul taste, well I can't describe Luna's sweet taste.

Not wanting to waste too much time with my plan set in motion, I released Luna, who had passed out by then, and waved at Celestia saying," See'ya Sun Bitch, good luck explaining what I said to Luna," and then I teleported into the Everfree. I looked back and smiled at my work, then began the process of finding a cave to wait in.

Present Day

...Annnnd that's basically everything that has happened up to this point. Well lets see, that story only took, 42 years! Well hot damn! Looks like its time to cause some havoc!

Look out Equestria, THECRIMSONFUCKER IS HERE!