An alcoholics recollection of Equestria

{Me}

[Soren]

^Omega^

*Midnight Shadow*

-Reaper-

She looked even more surprised now.

"A backwards DJ like you has heard of me? Also, I could do without the vulgarities."

"Who you callin backwards old-timer?"

"Old-timer! You're joking."

I deadpanned. "Just listen to yourself. I don't even thing the big shots in Canterlot still talk like that."

"Eugh can you hear yourself!"

"Hey 'Tavi. Do me a favor. Turn around. I'll buy you a drink."

"Fine." She turned herself around. I started staring very intently at her flank.

"That's odd. Octy, I can't seem to find the stick in your ass. I think it's too deep for someone to see now!"

"You irk me."

"Aww. You're adorable when you're pissed."

"Please, give me your name so I can growl it in annoyance."

"Anything for you babe. Es Shadow. Midnight Shadow."

"Shadow."

"Aww. Such a cute growl. Do it again!"

"I will murder you."

"Barkeep!" The bartender looked up. I noticed his cutie mark was a coctail mixer. Niiice.

"Oh it's you! Nice set! 'aven't seen this place jumpin like that for ages!" And he has a helluva accent.

"Sweet! Can I get a Applejack Daniels?"

"You sure can!" He levitated it over to me. "It's on the 'ouse!"

Octavia spoke up as well. "I'll have a smooth Jura. On him."

The bartender looked at me. I nodded, signifying I was okay with that.

"Alright, here you are lass. On the 'ouse."

"Thank you sir."

I guzzled down some of the whiskey. Just as good as the stuff in my flask. Not quite as strong, but I'll take it.

"I can not possibly see how you drink that sludge." And there's lil miss buzzkill, just in time to ruin my moment. Still, I can always use this chance to work my charm.

"The fire reminds me that I'm still alive. The pain tells me that I'm still free. And the taste reminds me of home."

Octavia was speechless for a few seconds. "That was...quite profound. I wouldn't expect that from you."

"Yea. Behind all my good humor, I'm dead. Rotting away in a mortal body. When life breaks you, there's only two options. Get angry, or get funny. I chose funny. Keeps most people living."

"Sounds like you had a tough life."

"You could say that. I'll bet yours is nice and cozy right?"

"Not quite. My parents-"

"My father abandoned me, and it was my fault. My mother hated me because I could never meet her impossibly high expectations, and because I drove my father away. Please tell me how yours is harder."

"My father is there yet not, and my mother wants me to be more successful than her. She was the princesses private orchestra's conducter. How do I top that."

"Well hell. I fold. 'Tavi, your parents are shittier than mine."

"Do I win a prize?" She looked quite surprise when I laughed. I gave her a playful punch in the shoulder.

"I knew someone worth hangin with was in there. Just had to liquor her up first."

Octavia slugged me back, but a bit harder. "I think you have another few songs to do."

"I think you're right. Stay for the next one?"

"...fine." I nodded my head, then created smoke on the stage. I teleported into the midst of it, and stepped out from it.

"This next one goes out to a good new friend of mine." ProTip:bonus of being in alternate universe, no one knows the music. So you can claim everything as yours."I just made it up. It's called 'Octavia's Overture.'" I threw down the track, and let the music play.

Readers... I wish I could tell you this song. But words don't cut it. The times I've cried to it, I can't say. The time at the club was no exception. I shed a tear. The crowd lit up their lighters, or horns. (How the hell should I know.) But my eyes were only on Octavia. Her eyes had started watering. I played the song to full, before pulling the mic over.

"Once again, that was to my new friend Octy! Now then, enough of the sobby shit. Let's get this place pumpin! Call me Prussian or call me Prench, Vodka's my friend and Absolut is da best!"

I threw down Greyhound and walked off the stage. The crowd parted as I walked over to Octavia. She had been crying.

"Was it that obvious?"

"A Canterlot mare at a nightclub? Yea. You ran away from home, hopin to hit it big, and you learned the truth. The world sucks, and you're doomed."

"Well Shadow. Sounds like you're speakin from past experience."

I thought for a second, but decided I could trust her. "I have. I was a DJ. A long time ago, in another place." Not a complete lie, but not the full truth.

"And how'd that work out?"

"Good 'nough later, but had a shitty year to get there."

"So it'll get better soon?" She had a glimmer of hope in her eyes.

"Yea. Do you need a place to stay?"

"Kind of."

"C'mon. Me and Dagger got a room."

Her eyes lit up, before narrowing. "I still will NOT be sleeping with you."

I pretended to pout. "Pwease? I swear I won't fool around!"

"You're insufferable."

I took a swift swig of my whiskey that I had left. "Aww. Ya hurt me feelings. I'm gonna go finish this set. Keep drinking."

_________

Elsewhere...

{Me}

[Khayo]

The large cat had been instructing Shade in the art of stealth takedowns for the past hour. I had been learning how to pick locks. Using hooves, it was a little difficult, but after learning how to use my wings as hands it was simple. I was soon able to pick all of the locks, from the simple to the complex. Shade had learned how to subdue enemies without drawing too much attention. Judging from what I saw, he learned how to use his horn as a knife. He was able to attack all the targets they set up for him making almost no noise. We were tired, but we had learned much. When we laid our heads to bed, I couldn't shake the feeling that we could do this.

[Even I have to admit, the plan is foolproof. Even if the stakes are high.]

{That's the point. Everyone will know about it. And Shadow would know the only person crazy enough to try it-}

[Is you.]

{Hell yea.}

____________

Back at the club...

I stepped down from the stage. "Thank you! I'll be here next week!"

[I think that went well.]

{I think you're right. Then again, you're probably just happy because of all the mares who asked us to fuck them.}

[Eh probably.]

I walked outside. Dagger and 'Tavi were close on my heels. As soon as we were far enough away I turned to Dagger.

"Did you get what we came for?"

"You kiddin me? 'Soarin couldn't shut up about it!"

Octavia looked confused. "What are you talking about?"

Dagger produced a sack of bits and threw them at my feet. "That's everything they had in the register, and a few off the barkeep. As well as your pay."

Octavia looked at me in horror. "You robbed them?!"

I laughed. "No, we relieved them of unneeded money." Dagger gave me a high-hoof. I threw Octavia a dozen or so bits.

"Welcome to the Equestrian Thieves Guild!"