Entry #16

You gave Soarin a blow job. Oh my god lol. Your so funny dash I can't stop laughing.

Wow, I go on tour for a few months and this is pretty much all you guys wanna talk about, huh? Who's dating who and who's having sex with who. Nice. Yeah, I gave him a BJ. I've done a bunch of other stuff with a lot of ponies since then! Big deal! Ponies do, you know, with each other all the time! Why is it so freaking funny when I do it? Are you, like, twelve? Get a freaking life.

Dear Rainbow Dash,

...Are you happy?

It's just that, as far as previous episodes of "A day in the life of an Element of Harmony" (or mlp-fim as I like to call it) showed, you always dreamt of flying with the Wonderbolts, not being a "moral specialist" who is accepted because of her pretty looks.

Can you truly honestly say that you want to go down this path, with seemingly only a sliver chance to actually permanently fly in the shows? (and instead being this..."stress reliever"?

Why wouldn't I be happy?

First of all, there is not a documentary about my life. Second of all, I am going to fly with the Wonderbolts one day. Third, the job I do is important! Why are you guys being so negative? I thought you would be happy for me. I'm a Wonderbolt and I'm gonna fly with them as soon as they get all the red tape outta the way. It's just taking some time, okay? Jeez.

How do I become as awesome as you? Also I'm a big fan of SoarinDash

Heh, well, I was born this way.

And I dunno if I should be freaked or flattered that you guys have pairings with me in them now. I mean sure, there's like, fake Wonderbolts porn all over the place, but I didn't know normal ponies casually ship us together now. That's kinda creepy dude.

What if socks didn't work orally?

A train doesn’t know any world away from its tracks.

Dear Rainbow Dash,

if i was concerned about the well being of a pony i thought was being abused taken advantage of, where could i forward the evidence my concerns to?

I'm asking for a friend , no one you would know.

Uhhhmmm... the Royal Guard? That's who I'd talk to. And, hey, it's really cool that you're doing that for your friend. I don't like ponies that take advantage of other ponies, like bullies and foal abusers and stuff like that. It's not right.

How have your friends reacted to you joining the Wonderbolts?

I don't really want to talk about my friends right now. I had a fight with them after one of my shows and now we're not talking. I only have the road crew guys to talk to. And my teammates, of course. Always have my teammates.

Wait! You actually dont know how to read!?

Dont you learn that when your a filly?

I said I don't need to learn how to read because reading is freaking boring, okay!? And anyway the letters get all mixed up sometimes and it takes too long to figure out what they're supposed to say and half the time I get it wrong anyway and my teachers in school said I'm stupid anyway so why freaking bother??? I don't need to read to be a Wonderbolt! I'm good enough as it freaking is!