I Kumquats

It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining brightly, birds were serenading, everything was at peace. Until something completely unexpected happened at Canterlot castle.

Princess Celestia had just risen the majestic sun and was now strolling down the long and admirable halls of the castle, greeting the hardworking guards as she walked by. She was hungry - hungry for Cheerioats. She decided to get breakfast herself this morning, so the royal chefs wouldn't have to.

After the relaxing walk down the corridors, Celestia finally found herself inside the large kitchen. She wanted Cheerioats and apple juice. She got herself a bowl with a green ivy design from the cupboards and trotted over to the cereal cupboard. As she was about to open the cupboard, she spotted something brightly colored out of the corner of her eye. She turned around to get a better view of the strange object. Her eyes laid upon an orange fruit. It wasn't an orange, Celestia knew that. It was elongated and had a hypnotizing pattern on the skin of it. It was a very bright hue of orange. The fruit was out of place, but Celestia had plans to put it back in the fruit basket where it belonged! However, something was stopping her from picking up the mysterious fruit. It wasn't something tangible that was stopping her, nor was it a magical spell. It was her self conscious. The fruit seemed like it was begging to be eaten.

So you know what Celestia did? She grabbed a sharp knife from the drawers and sliced the fruit open. Thick and creamy juices were squirting out of the fruit as it was being elegantly penetrated by the knife. But all of a sudden, the fruit exploded into uncountable pieces! The aroma of citrus flooded the kitchen and bits of fruit splatted uncouthly onto the once shiny white walls. Bits of food got caught in Celestia's gravity defying mane and tail. But that was the least of her worries, because a bright light was now rising from where the fruit exploded. There was then a loud SCREEEAAAACH and all the drama came to a halt.
Then, the kitchen doors swung wide open and the one and only Obama came in.
"Obama! Where did you put my cardigan?" Asked Celestia, desperately. Obama gave no answer. He just walked slowly towards Celestia, keeping eye contact.
Princess Celestia now knew what that fruit was. It was a kumquat.

Meanwhile, Princess Luna was eating an apple whilst basking in the sweet sunlight. The apple then extorted and exploded - unexpectedly, Bob Marley warped into the room Luna was in and was crouched on top of a wooden bookshelf, expectantly eyeing Luna.
"BOBBY MAH BOY!" shouted Luna, in the royal Canterlot voice. She galloped up to him and gave him a passionate hug. But that moment didn't last long because Bob then transformed into Daring Do's hat.
"Oops, I gotta go pee." said the French pith helmet.
Luna, now far beyond confusion, had the sudden urge to use the restroom.
"So do I!" Luna replied.
But there was only one toilet in the entire castle and both ponies were desperate to go. So they made a decision and had a pee together on the same toilet. The pith helmet sat lifelessly on the left side of the toilet seat while Luna sat on the other. Their urine splashed into the toilet causing some to splash onto the tip of Luna's curved moon flank, whereas for the pith helmet the urine was splashing the rim of the hat.

Back in Ponyville...

Princess Alicorn Magical Twilight Sparkle was sitting on a ~~mahogany chair in her wooden library~~ crystal throne in her new crystal tree palace reading a book made out of oranges. She got to the end of the first story and then said "...What did I just read?" in a quizzical tone.

Author's Note

lel