I can’t keep going, there’s something very important I have to get off my chest.

Gaz, remember that time you passed by my window several minutes before you were supposed to arrive? Yeah, I trust your eyesight and reasoning skills, but it’s clear you’ve come to the wrong conclusion and assumed something that was totally not happening. Like, you might’ve thought I was playing with little babby dollies, but you’d be wrong!

Now look, I can’t expect you to believe me right away but just hear me out, I know you’re chill so you totally will.

So I got home, right? And all of a sudden I see these two little dolls on the ground, so I go over to them and I’m about to throw them into a fire when all of a sudden they start talking.

“Take us to your leader!” One said. Man, it was such bullcorn! And I know you’re getting as mad as I am right now, because nobody should have be talked to by little dollies like that.

So I’m about to go full combat mode and start scratching at them with my hooves, but they totally shot some stupid paralysis laser at me. Luckily, because I read Ghosts/Aliens, I was prepared for this and I started thinking of a little purple boatie with a little red bowtie. Man, they got sick confused from this.

While they were startled and being like “Dude, this guy is mad crazy. Let’s bail.” I grab them up and start slamming them together. So that explains that.

I can also explain the smooching sounds. You see, my lips were really dry so I was just going “Muah muah muah” to try and keep them from chapping. So just drop it already, I wasn’t playing with little filly dolls.

Author's Note

Are you tired of looking out a window and seeing a big stupid green face? Well get yourself a little locket with a picture of Little Richard. If you read Ghosts/Aliens, you'd know why.