Fallout: Stupidity

Chapter Four

With Eyes So Red

"This is our story. Now let's see this thing through together!"

Twilight and I stalked our way through the Everfree Forest, being careful not to attract any possible threats. Who knew what kind of horrid beasts we would find here? After an hour or two, we came upon a massive building, one with white stone walls and guard-ponies positioned around its windows, which were made from stained glass. One of the windows showed an image of a human with wings, a horn, and plants sprouting at his feet, although it wasn't me.

It was Benson!

"What the fuck!?" I whispered to myself in shock. Crawling on my hands and knees, I found a small air vent that was just about wide enough for me to fit through.

"Twi, come here." She climbed into the vent after me, and we traveled through the building undetected.

"Is there something important here?" Twilight asked me.

"Yeah. I think we've found our destination." I looked down through a grate, seeing something intensely disturbing.

Benson stood in the center of a massive room filled with vats of glowing chemicals, forcing a group of unicorns into a cage and shooting the ones that resisted against him.

No. I must be looking at this wrong. He wouldn't do something like this!

I clambered in fear as a bullet fell from my pocket, landing directly on his head.

Fuck. Me.

"Guards!" He hissed. "Find the intruders!"

Two strange creatures materialized beside him. They were bipedal, but with glimmering black skin, alongside horns and wings. Their eyes were a lifeless shade of turquoise.

Are those Changelings?

"I'm right here!" I shouted, shoving the vent open and landing in front of him.

"Well, then, what do we have here? The Savior of Equestria, coming to rescue the helpless slaves?"

"Nope. I was here on recon first. But now, I'm shutting this whole Celestia-forsaken operation down." I brandished my pistol at him in an attempt at intimidation.

"Ha! You wouldn't shoot me. You're nothing but a spineless pushover."

"That was both right and wrong. Correct, I'm not going to shoot you, but I'm about as far as you can get from spineless." Holstering my gun, I pulled the raider's bat from my back.

"You may have a bat, but I...

Have a sword." Benson drew a terrifyingly sharp blade, swinging it at me with enough force to blow my jacket back. I dodged the attack just in time, jabbing him in the stomach with my bat.

"Don't bring a club to a swordfight. That should be common sense." I noticed that Benson's eyes held a tint identical in color to that of the Changelings, as did his skin.

I've got a chance, might as well take it!

I lunged forward, crouching down as I moved and punching him in the groin in a split second of prediction and speculation. He dropped to his knees, groaning in pain. For a moment, his body turned back to normal.

"Arrick! The basement! The... basement..."

"Welp, now I know where I'm goin'." I gave him a light smack in the head, strong enough to knock him unconscious, but not enough to cause permanent damage.

"Help!" I turned around, seeing one of the mutant Changelings holding onto Twilight with seemingly great force, keeping her from moving. She released an outward blast of magic, but the Changelings were apparently immune to it or extremely resilient.

"I'm on it!" I flipped a switch on the bat, triggering a magic-based mechanism that caused a razor-sharp blade to spring forth from one side of it.

"Eat this!" I called out, practically slicing the Changeling in two with a single jumping strike. The other one flung a series of knife-like spines at me from its wings. I blocked most of them, but one managed to connect, tearing through my shoulder. In the seconds between, I performed a quick swing, bashing his skull in first, then coming back to send part of it flying through the air.

"Twi, climb back into the vent. They can't get to you up there." I pulled the Changeling's projectile out of my flesh with a short wince, leaving behind a small puncture wound.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm goin' to the basement."

"Why?"

"For a second or two, I knocked Benson out of a weird kind of mind control or some shit like that, and he told me to go to the basement. So I am."

"I'm not letting you go down there alone. Let me come with you!"

"... Fine. Just be careful."

We strolled towards a sealed metal door labeled "Basement: Cybernetics & Storage". I plugged my PipBuck's access tool into it, hacking my way through the layers of code that kept themselves between me and my objective.

"Arrick! More Changelings!"

"Keep them off us for just a few more seconds." I barely paid attention to her, seeing that I was nearly in.

"Suck it, door!" the password was "Chang3l1ng". I spun to my feet, grabbing my bat and decapitating one Changeling, bludgeoning another, then disemboweling the last, all in a single 900° rotation. Sheathing the blade, I looked at my weapon in disappointment. The pristine white steel was now marred with dents and green bloodstains. I noticed that the electric blue bands around the handle were already becoming a bit worn, and the pair of black eighth notes marking the tip were nearly impossible to see underneath the almost opaque blood.

"Thanks." She said. "That was close."

"Yeah, I guess it was. We should probably head downstairs. You ready?"

"About as much as I can be."

I pressed a button on the door, quickly opening it and catching a horrid stench that sent me completely reeling in disgust. It smelled familiar for some reason. A memory flashed through my head, confirming my suspiscions.

"Holy shit!" I screamed as Celestia, Luna, and I walked into the Changeling Hive.

"Are you okay?" Celestia asked me.

"I'm fine, but what the hell is that smell!?"

"Be quiet!" Luna whispered angrily. "That is the scent emitted by the Changelings'... mating rituals."

"So, what I'm smelling is Changeling jizz!?"

"If you would like to put it bluntly, then yes. Now silence yourself. We are on a diplomatic excursion, not a declaration of war."

"I know it smells, but you really don't wanna know what it is."

We trudged through the basement of Benson's... Cathedral? I wasn't sure if it was the same as how I remembered it. As we got closer to the end of the massive staircase, I could distinctly hear a high-pitched moaning that was impossible to discern from pain or pleasure. I truly hoped it was the former.

"Watch yourself, Twi. I think we're getting near these Changelings' queen."

"Okay."

I slowly pumped my shotgun, trying my best not to make very much noise.

"Ahh..." A decidedly female voice sighed, "thank you, my subject."

Well, shit.

They never noticed me until I pulled the trigger, blowing the male Changeling off of Chrysalis' back. She perked up in an instant, turning her gaze on me.

"What are you doing here!? Guards!"

"I don't think you'll be seeing them any time soon, unless you like being protected by lumps of chitinous meat. They've been out of commission for quite a while now, thanks to Vinyl's Scratcher. Then again, I could never figure out whether to call it that or "Scratch's Needle". Difficult decisions..." I was simply toying with her as I tossed my bat into the air and caught it, twirling the base around on my fingertip.

"Y'know," I said ponderously, "I was wonderin', why're you still completely normal? Shouldn't ya be, like, some kinda disgustin' blob o' radiation?" I tried to give my voice a certain Bostonian affectation.

"I have been mutated on the inside, you insolent child. Now, unless you are going to replace my drone, then leave!"

"How 'bout no?"

"Then I will have to force you out!"

"Uhh... I don't even know where to start. I mean, do you even know who you're talkin' to?

D-Do you have any idea, any idea who I am? Basically, kind of a big deal. Look, lemme tell ya somethin'. You listenin'?

Grass grows, birds fly, sun shines, and sister, I hurt people."

"I'm a force a' nature!" I bashed her in the chin with a loud exclamation of "Boink!".

"Bonk!" I created a large crater in her exoskeleton, particularly in her torso.

"If you was from where I was from, you'd be fuckin' dead!"

After my brief assault, Chrysalis sent a wave of green energy from her horn that blew me onto my back, allowing her to stand up.

"I told you to leave, but you didn't listen. Now, you will pay the price!"

Her body practically exploded, reforming into a disgusting, writhing mass of tentacles and tails with her head in its center. I pulled out my pistols and began firing, but the bullets did almost nothing. That was, until a lucky shot struck her eye. Chrysalis roared in pain, revealing a large red boil-like structure underneath her neck. I dashed forward and slashed at it with my bat-blade, drowning myself in blood and making her roll over. On the underside of her body were at least five more of the boils, likely the only spots that would harm her.

"Twilight, remember what I taught you?"

"Yeah!"

"Do it now!"

My body coated in her lavender magic, I flung myself across the poisoned Changeling, slicing through the boils as if they were paper. Finally, I flipped into the air, dropping back down and burying my blade in the last one. Chrysalis inexplicably melted with a mind-rending scream, leaving behind two massive chests. I tried to open them, but of course, they were locked. Pulling a screwdriver and a bobby pin from my pocket, I went to work on the first chest. After a few minutes of anger and excitement, my prize was given to me: a long, black sword with a bright green gem in its hilt. A small inscription on the blade read, "Long Live the Queen!". An identical weapon laid underneath it. After opening the second chest, I was surprised to find a nearly flawless diamond with a sickly green aura, and what appeared to be a black egg covered in deep green spots.

"Is this what I think it is?"

"Well," Twilight said, "if you think it's a Changeling egg, then yes."

"What the hell am I even supposed to do with this!? And what's with this diamond?"

"Hang on, let me see that gem for a second." I handed the crystal to her, deciding to pass the time by fiddling with the swords. They looked a lot like the one Benson had tried to use against me.

"Looks like I was correct. This diamond holds a massive amount of magical energy, enough to power an entire planet for years! If I were to infuse something of yours with the essence of it, you could use magic even stronger than mine with the right training!"

"Holy shit on a biscuit."

"Are you sure if you even want this kind of power? I mean, every single faction in the Wasteland will practically go to war to get you on their side, and we both know who's going to win."

"Don't worry. I'm not gonna let a single member of the Enclave, a raider, slaver, or even a Changeling lay a hoof on me! Even if they do, then I guess I'll just have to break it off."

"We can't do this here, though. It's way too dangerous. Let's head back to the Stable."

"First, I need to find something."

"What?"

"There are a few things you need to survive in the Wasteland. This applies to you, too. You gotta find a weapon or two, armor, a bit of guidance, and most importantly, you need to make some friends."

"But you already have friends."

"None that actually know anything about the Wasteland. I have some ideas. Do you know where this broadcast is coming from?" I switched my PipBuck's radio to the station I had heard before, with what I thought was Vinyl's voice. Twilight seemed confused, but her magic reached out around my wrist, a thin purple beam passing through the ceiling.

"That's the radio frequency from someplace called Tenpony Tower." She answered. I pumped my shotgun again and wiped the blood off my bat with a small bit of cloth on the floor.

"Then I guess we're going to Tenpony Tower."

"You shouldn't be in here..." A tinny, low-pitched voice growled at me. I looked around the room, not seeing its source until he revealed himself to me.

Footnote: Level Up.

New Perk: Jury - You have learned to exploit your opponents' weaknesses. When attacking from behind, you have a 90% chance of critical hits with melee weapons, and a 75% chance with ranged weapons.