The train ride sucked.

Do you know how long it takes to get from the city of Manehattan all the way to middle-of-nowhere Ponyville?"

Nine hours.

Nine... freakin'... hours.

Huh? What's that? Why does it take so long, you ask? Well, because some idiot had got into his mind that it would be a good idea to use one single railroad to connect an entire nation!

I mean, yeah, Equestria is not too big a nation but still, the train had to make frequent stops at Fillydelphia, Hoffington, Mustangia and a bunch of other small, random towns scattered throughout the countryside.

At the very least, my parents could have flown me by plane, but apparently this Ponyville is such a hick, backwoods town that there is no safe place in which to land an airplane. Oh, God! This summer is going to suck. Not just regular suck, mind you. It's gonna suck hard!

...

What?

...

The God thing? Really? Didn't I explain this already?

...

Ugh, fine. Let's do a brief recap.

So, about fifty years ago, some team of crackpot scientists in Equestria set out with the goal of proving some... multiverse/window/travel theory or something like that. I don't know, I slept through most of history class. Anyway, at around the same time on good ol' Earth, another team of crackpot scientists or rather, terrorists with access to education and science, was working on the exact same thing as the Equestrian nuts.

From what I heard, our universe and that of the Equestrians were practically squished against each other since the beginning of time - like a fat woman's buttocks squeezing into a too tight pair of jeans - meaning they shared the exact same harmonic frequency. This meant that, in the multiverse's eye, both our universes were exactly the same.

I'll give you a for-instance; say you have two apples. A granny smith and a mackintosh. What's the difference between the two? Not much, really. They may both look different on the outside, but at their core, they're basically the same thing, albeit with some minute differences. Same thing with our universes.

Now, the science guys' experiments caused a build of pressure on the already frail 'walls' that divided our universes. Eventually, the pressure built to such an extent that a tiny, microscopic portion of the wall tore apart and the multiverse freaked out and decided to seal the rift by taking a piece of reality from both universes - specifically, the exact same point and time at which the experiments were being conducted - and shoving them against the tear in the wall to plug up the hole, in turn causing both of those realities to come in contact with one another.

And presto change-o, a portal opened in the caverns below Canterlot while another one popped up in some random, godforsaken shack in the Middle East. The Equestrian scientists would forever be immortalized as heroes who brought in a new age, while the terrorists would be hunted down, then captured and/or killed for the criminal charge of almost blowing up the universe and all life as we know it.

And the rest, as they say, is history. People reacted as you may expect, but after a couple of years and after tensions had died down, Earth and Equestria began to interact on more friendly terms. Us humans, being naturally paranoid creatures, found it slow to trust the ponies, or any of the other races for that matter, despite or perhaps because of how similar they were to us.

...

Oh, but look at me rambling on. You probably have no idea what the ponies look like, do you? Funny thing about them, they call themselves ponies, yet they look nothing like the ponies from back home. I mean, heck, they pretty much look like people. See, physically speaking, their bodies have the exact same dimensions as ours(arms, legs, hands and feet); except for their faces which look like you might expect from one of those furry animal/human hybrid things from Japanese anime. Oh, yeah, and unicorns have horns, pegasi have wings and earth ponies have neither. They all have tails though. Fur, too. No, not like fur from your dog or anything like that. While ponies' bodies are almost all covered in fur, it is so short and so fine, that unless you looked really closely, you wouldn't be able to tell it from skin.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, concludes our history and physiology lesson for the day. Now, what was I talking about again? Ah, right, going to Ponyville.

I was starving six hours into the trip(I left at freakin' five in the morning) and though the train did in fact have a food trolley, the meals were not included in the ticket. My parents had allowed me to keep a few hundred bits in case of an emergency, but given that this paltry sum was all I had, I did not want to spend it frivolously. That, and the fact that the food looked and smelled to be on par with that slop they served at the school cafeteria.

I tried to hold out, I really did; but eventually, my hunger won out and I purchased a small, no doubt heavily processed cake and a minute carton of milk. Do you have any idea how depressing it is to eat steak, lobster and foie gras-esque food on a daily basis and then suddenly revert back to this kind of trivial, substandard fare? It sucks. Hard.

It didn't help that my taste buds had become so used to upper class dining that in comparison, the train food tasted about as good as a sweaty, filthy, never before washed gym sock and no, I will not tell you how I know what a sweaty, filthy, never before washed gym sock tastes like.

The ride in between the towns was not too bad. The people kept to themselves and did not bother me with small talk, something I could definitely get behind. On another note, the countryside of Equestria was freakin' gorgeous and suffice it to say, it was a treat in itself being able to see it firsthand.

We got into a bit of a delay going in at a town when the train had to stop as a herd of cows had decided to graze in the middle of the tracks. Let me tell you, those fuckers took their sweet time in getting out of the way. The train conductor guy tried to get them to disperse by blowing the horn as loudly and as frequently as he could, but it did not seem to affect the lactating bovoids. Honestly, I didn't understand why he couldn't just run them over. I mean, they were all going to become hamburger at some point, right?

Well, eventually the cows moved on and some time later I arrived at my destination of Ponyville. It was as hick, podunk and backwoods as I expected; well, compared to Manehattan, at least. The houses were built in some medieval style, complete with thatched straw roofs. Primitive, yes and probably not too safe but it did add a rustic, picturesque sort of charm to the place. The train stopped at the station and I heaved a heavy sigh as I picked up my lone suitcase and proceeded to enter into the fresh hell that awaited me.

I swear, I was literally the only person getting off the train. No sooner had I stepped out that I saw two earth pony mares, an older and a younger one holding on to a sign that bore my name. I made my way over and took in the appearance of my two hosts.

The little one had vibrant red hair tied into a ponytail and her coat was a mellow yellow. She was clad in a white, polka dot shirt along with a pair of jean overalls that were clearly smudged in dirt and on her little feet she wore a pair of worn tennis shoes. Her eye caught mine and she flashed me a toothy grin that complimented the smattering of freckles on her face. Sweet Luna of Kahuna! I just wanted to go over and pinch her little redneck cheeks.

The older one eyed me more carefully. She was not especially tall, but she definitely had a sturdy built to her. Her coat was orange and her hair blond. Fake or natural, I couldn't really tell and much like the little one beside her, her hair(and tail) was tied into a ponytail and her face was complimented by a smattering of freckles. She sported a checkered red and white buttoned shirt and... was that an apple on her jeans? Make that three apples. Three apples embroidered in the fabric of her jeans. The stetson hat was a nice touch, but in my opinion, the cowboy boots were a bit overboard. I mean, really, it's like she went out of her way to dress the part of the hillbilly, redneck farmer.

Well, it's not like I can judge or anything. My parents had woken me at an ungodly hour to make the train and I was so sleepy at the time, I changed into whatever clothes I could reach first. I reached the girls and for a moment, no words were said as the older girl and I locked gazes, silently sizing up the other.

The blonde's eyes, a gorgeous green I might add, gave me a once over in a judgemental manner. I don't think she was impressed.

The little girl decided to break the silence. "Hullo there, mister and welcome to Ponyville!" Gaah! That accent of hers! I swear, if I get diabetes from this sweet little thing, I will sue her family so hard that... they'll... give me... money.

…

What? Not all of them can be winners. Bite me.

I gave the little one my best winning smile and pleasantly introduced myself.

"Nice ta meetcha mister! My name's Applebloom and this here's my sister Applejack!" she pointed enthusiastically to the older girl.

Applejack spared me a nod of greeting and extended her hand. Hoo, boy! This girl is clearly used to down and dirty work. Her hand was not big or anything, but it was the hand of someone who worked with it on a consistent basis. I shook her hand and she squeezed a little too hard. Call me paranoid, but I suspect she did it on purpose.

She withdrew her hand and spoke in a cool voice. "Howdy. You're the city slicker what'll be staying with us?" she asked in a slightly strained voice, a corner of her lips wrinkling in vague distaste.

Wow. Either this girl is not a people person or I did something to make her mad. That, or she's just an unpleasant sort. Her face remained largely neutral and void of expression. Shame. She does have gorgeous green eyes.

But I did not let that detract me. I did not wish to be here, yes. And I did not want to be in the company of someone who clearly holds some sort of animosity towards me, however misguided it might be. But what's done is done and I was to stay in Ponyville and live with this grouchy redneck whether I liked it or not. The last thing I needed was to exacerbate things for myself by being an ass. So I choked back my pride and a number of choice words I so dearly wished to unleash upon her.

I kept my friendly smile and answered as pleasantly as I could. "That would be me," I nodded graciously. "It's nice too meet you, Applejack."

She nodded back and managed a halfhearted smile before looking at my suitcase. "Well, if that's all you're bringing then come along. Bloomy and I will show you to Sweet Apple Acres."

And we did just that. There was no time for sightseeing, not that I wanted to anyway, and we merely cut across the town. Applejack stayed mostly silent while Applebloom kept jabbering away in that cute little accent of hers, keeping the situation from becoming too awkward; bless her little heart. She pointed out a number of buildings in town, one of them being a very... colorful and delicious looking pastry shop. I did a double take the first time I saw it and was tempted to go and take a bite of the building itself. It looked that good.

There was something peculiar about the town. More girls than guys. This was not unusual in and of itself. It was a well known fact that in Equestria, females tended to outnumber the males by a wide margin; but this ratio seemed even more uneven than usual in Ponyville. I swear, I've only seen about ten guys so far. Meh, not that I'm complaining. For some reason or another, pretty much all Equestrian mares are freakin' cute and/or gorgeous so there was eye candy aplenty all around. I suppose this Ponyville will not be all bad.

As we trekked on, I couldn't help but notice I caught the attention of the locals. Nothing too bad or weird. They stared at me in curiosity for a few moments and then they went about their business. I would later come to learn that Ponyville has had maybe six human visitors total.

Oh, yeah, and a good portion of the population was naked.

See, clothes hadn't really been a thing until humans came to Equestria. Yeah, before we came here, pretty much all ponies walked around in the nude.

Why do humans wear clothes religiously and ponies don't? Could be a number of reasons. Me, I'd like to believe it's in part due to the fact that ponies are relatively hardy and don't need clothes to protect them from the elements. And, on the other side of the spectrum, I would venture that the reason humans wear clothing is due to some combination of church and faith and sex and ideals and maybe a little bit of brainwashing. Ponies have had neither as they can worship Celestia, who's pretty much the avatar of the sun and if going commando is good enough for her, then it's good enough for everyone else.

On a totally unrelated note, a recent survey of Earth confirmed that Equestria was the number one travel destination for all males over the age of thirteen.

But again, clothes. They had really picked up steam after trade started between Earth and Equestria, but for ponies, clothes were really only used as an expression of style and character. As far as they were concerned, going nude was a perfectly normal thing.

And again, eye candy. It would take some kind of superhuman willpower to keep my eyes from straying once in a while; and guess what? I got caught staring. More than once, mind you. A few of them rolled their eyes in annoyance, but made no effort to cover themselves. The rest? Well... they giggled like schoolgirls(a couple of them were schoolgirls), winked salaciously and did a number of teasing, flirty gestures.

Hot... fucking... damn.

Whoops. Better keep it in my pants. Applejack saw everything and I did not like that borderline homicidal look in her face.

Man, she was really building herself up to blow and was no doubt about to unleash a stream of verbal abuse before I was saved by a voice calling out behind us.

"Applejack! Applejack, wait up!"

Coming up beside us was a unicorn girl perhaps a head shorter than me. Her figure was slender and a bit on the petite side, but you could certainly tell she was of the female gender. She had styled her violet hair into a neat, ordered style. She sported blue, denim pants that stopped shy of her ankles and wore a white, perfectly pressed shirt underneath a lavender sweater vest. On her feet were a pair of sneakers adorned with a purple star and just like the rest of her they were impeccably clean and neat; and to complete the package, a number of books were precariously cradled in her arms and on her face was a pair of stylish horn rimmed glasses.

She looked every bit the part of the cute, nerdy girl.

Helloooooo baby! Where have you been all my life?

What? I have a thing for cute, nerdy girls. Bite me.

"Howdy, Twilight. What brings you here?" Whoa. Applejack's attitude just flipped a switch. She greeted this Twilight with a genuinely warm smile and a friendly disposition. So... what? Was she acting cool towards me because she dislikes me? Probably, but what did I ever do to this girl? Whatever, I'll just have to work around it.

These two were probably good friends, given how comfortable they were around each other. After exchanging pleasantries,Twilight asked Applejack about some project or other in the farm; I'm guessing Sweet Apple Acres? Anyway, this Twilight used a string of advanced words and terminology that further cemented my belief she was the studious, nerdy type. Heh. What do you know? Maybe this summer won't be a total drag.

Well, something must have excited the bookish girl, because her eyes lit up, she began to speak faster than normal and proceeded to bounce on the balls of her feet. Adorable. As Twilight grew more excited, her vocabulary steadily became more complex and sophisticated that it was nearly impossible to follow her train of thought.

I wanted to laugh out loud at the expression on Applejack's face. She clearly had no idea what was coming out of her friend's mouth, the dumb hick. Now, I'm a bit more well read than most seventeen year olds, so I was able to follow Twilight's diatribe to a degree. The gist of it was this; harvesting season was coming to Sweet Apple Acres and in order to lessen the workload for the farmers, Twilight had devised an ingenious way to enchant some apple carts to move by themselves. Why? Not sure. But if I were to guess I'd say it's because so that after the carts were full of apples they would head to some destination where they could be unloaded, saving on the manpower needed to haul them across. That's a reasonable guess, right?

Eventually, Twilight ran out of steam because she suddenly noticed my presence which, in my opinion, is a bit of a stretch given I was next to Applejack the whole time. "Oh, hello. Please forgive my rudeness, I did not mean to ignore you. My name is Twilight Sparkle and you must be Applejack's house guest for the summer."

She extended a petite hand, which I graciously took and brought up to give a light peck of the lips. That right there elicited a little start from the girl and a faint rosy tint to her cheeks. "It's a pleasure, Twilight Sparkle. I take it you're a good friend of Applejack's?"

"I-I am. Yes."

"Well," I said briskly. "I am impressed with what you were talking about just now. To attempt such a network of runes and enchantments on a multitude of objects and making sure they all perform at peak efficiency is truly an ambitious task!" Applejack narrowed her eyes at me, though I didn't notice and Twilight's face gained a pleasantly surprised look. "If you don't mind my asking, how are you going to form a stable connection that will animate the apple carts and in turn converge them into a path that will lead them to one specific destination? Aren't you worried that a myriad of enchantments and runes working in close proximity will cause a harmonic discordance to each other?"

Hey, I may be a human, but I've been living in Equestria all my life. I do know a thing or two about magic, even if it's only rhetorical stuff.

She smiled a cute little smile before answering. "Y-yes. But I've been working on a way to circumvent this problem. There are certain gems that are able to hold a certain amount of magic within them; like a little magic container. The problem is, none of the gems I have tested so far, and I have tested most, do not have a sufficiently large storage capacity. My thinking is that if we were to combine different types of gems, the resulting product may possess a capacity large enough to hold the amount of enchantments and runes necessary for the project to succeed. My friends and I have been pooling our resources to find as many different types of gems as we can and are bringing them to the blacksmith so he can fuse them into different types. With any luck, there's a synthesized gem out there with the qualities we are looking for."

I put on my best impressed look. "Well, color me impressed! It's not often you meet a girl whose looks are on par with her brains." I finished with an imperceptible wink. Twilight's reaction was adorable. She ducked her head and looked away coquettishly, a light giggle escaping her lips and her ears lowered in bashfulness. Hmm. It wasn't even that good a line. It was kinda lame, now that I think about it. Wonder if she's just guy shy or not used to getting compliments.

"O-oh. Thank you. I mean, I-I do like to study..."

Unfortunately, I did nor find out what she liked to study as everything from then on came out as a series of mumbles. Hmm. Me, I'm leaning towards guy shy on this one. I should probably help her out. "You like to study... what? Magic?"

"That's right!" said Applebloom's peppy voice beside me. Huh. Kinda forgot she was there. "Twilight loooves to study magic! It's her special talent! Why, she's so good at it, Princess Celestia took her as her own personal student!"

Uhh. What? I looked at Twilight, who was fidgeting in discomfort, books held protectively in front of her and looking anywhere but in my direction. "Really? You're... that Twilight Sparkle?" I asked slowly.

Yes, I'd heard about her before. I mean, it's not like it's a state secret or anything. Still, I never actually knew where she lived. The most basic of searches on the web did not turn anything up and I really couldn't be bothered to dig deeper. No reason to.

Okay, I'm obviously missing something here because Twilight looks like she wants to be anywhere but here. What, she doesn't like people knowing about it?

She shifted from one leg to the other uneasily "Y-yes. That's me," she said sullenly.

Damn, girl! What's the big deal? I was about to ask her about it, but Applejack decided to butt in.

"Hey now, I don't mean to be rude, but we really should get goin'. There's a heapin' of work to do at the farm an' I want to get it done 'fore it gets dark."

Twilight seemed to perk up at this. "R-right! And I need to go catalog the different properties of the gems we have!" She turned to me. "It was nice to meet you. Goodbye." And she went off who knows where.

Okay, that was odd. I was broken out of my reverie by a none too gentle elbow on the side, courtesy of Applejack. She gave me this stony look and cocked her head to the side, telling me to move my ass. I grudgingly complied and followed suit, little Applebloom being none the wiser of the tension between me and her sister as we made our way to Sweet Apple Acres.

Author's Note

Don't know if you can tell, but I had a blast writing this chapter! See you soon.