Banned From Equestria

Section V: The Big Easy

Nothing of any particular interest happened between the party and my seventeenth day as a pony. While I was essentially a hero in this world, I didn't entirely like it. I found my thoughts drifting towards Earth more frequently than before. I knew for a fact I never belonged here. I wanted to go home. Even if it was more awesome and fun-filled here, I had a life back on Earth…and I missed it. Sure, I bet bronies would say that they’d want to live here forever…but until you actually experience it, until you actually find out what it’s like to live in a different world in a different body…you can’t truly know.

And I wasn't even a brony. I didn't really like it here, my first few days. I was more or less kind of…forced to like it, really. When I walk down the streets of Ponyville, I get gawked at, a lot. Foals run up to me, begging for my autograph. Fillies always stare with open-mouths at me.

And I don’t like it.

And as for my mental state…? Well I guess I’m still sane…considering I’ve managed to convince myself that this actually isn't a dream of some sort, and I’m actually, physically here (as if dying wasn’t a big indicator that this was real enough), I've been pretty good. Oh, and don’t get me started on my sex life, becau-

“EARTH!”

Snapped out of my train of thought, I focused back on Rainbow Dash, whom I was helping today.

“Hey, buddy, you alright? You looked kinda…glazed for the past few minutes.”

“Yeah…yeah I’m fine, sorry.”

I picked a nearby box and loaded it into the carriage.

“So, where are these packages going?”

“Ah! To the Cloudesdale Rainbow Factory!”

“Really? You think you could…give me a tour, sometime?” I asked her, aware of the fan fiction that surrounded the Rainbow Factory.
“Erm…sorry, Earth. Employee’s only. It’s really toxic up there, with the liquid thunder and all.”

I did manage to get a peek into one of the boxes, and all I saw was simple gears…certainly not the frightened foals that I was expecting to see.

“How do you make Rainbows, Rainbow Dash?”

“Heh…well a rainbows tale is quite as nice as the stories you’ve probably heard about them.”

Shuddering at how close that was to the song about the Rainbow Factory, I informed her “No, I haven’t heard much on how Rainbows are made. Care to do a quick demonstration?

“Well…I don’t have the right stuff here. You see, what we do is we pull in unicorns from across Equestria and have them do some little egghead stuff to make Spectra, the stuff that we make Rainbows out of, and from there we just refine it, process it, slap a sticker on it and send it over to-“

“Wait, you don’t actually make Rainbows? Then who does?”

“Up there!” She pointed a hoof towards the brighter section of the Rainbow Factory.

“So…no foals, then?”

“Err, what did you just ask me? How could foals be used to make-“

“Ah, hah! Nevermind, nevermind. Don’t worry about it.” I shakily said.

I’m just glad I haven’t seen “Pinkamena Diane Pie” yet… I mused, referring to Pinkie Pie’s nearly-emo alternate ego.

Finished packing the carriage, she gave the “Go Ahead” to the pilots and they zoomed off towards the Rainbow Factory. A little sweaty, she asked if I wanted to cool off at her house; it was right around the corner. Without waiting for a response, she zoomed off. I followed her, but the minimal amount of clouds to walk on made me…frightened, to say the least. Nearly ten minutes later, I reached her house; I had nearly fallen ten times. When I opened the door, she was relaxing on a futon, looking outside. “Oh! Hey there Earth, what took ya’ so long?” she teased. I gave her a stern stare, and said “Sorry, I don’t like heights much.” Rainbow Dash sat up straight suddenly, her face suddenly gaining a slight pink tone. “H-Hey Earth. Do you remember when we first met?”

One of my more memorable moments in Ponyville…

Apparently I said that out loud because Rainbow Dash looked slightly disgusted at me. “R-Right…” I asked her if there was a point in the question, and she responded by telling me to wait here. She quickly zoomed out of her house, creating a sizable hole in the cloud wall.
“Must be nice, having a home created entirely of clouds.” I said, watching the wall reform itself, “…just repairs itself as time goes on.”