Argue Crew in Equestria

Jacob

Their cell was danker than James' hot room. With the dim lights, Jacob could hardly see his hooves in front of him. "Well, good job, BrickDick." Jonathan said to Jacob. "We get to Equestria and the first thing you do is whip out your horse cock? You're just as retarded as FiF." When they were teleported into the new land, Jacob's first thoughts were to see if his genitalia was just like the pictures he fapped to back home (For the record, it was exactly the same). In his stupidity-crazed moment, he hadn't realized that both Jonathan and him were teleported into the middle of the Ponyville Schoolhouse, right in the middle of a lesson. Cheerilee had been everything but calm in the situation. Fearful of the two, Cheerilee had evacuated the class and contacted the authorities, getting the both of them arrested.

"Fuck off." Jacob retorted, looking outside of the cell. "We could've outran them if you hadn't gotten your wing caught in the door." While Jacob was a simple earth pony, Jonathan had the pleasure of being a pegasus. "It's not my fault I don't know how to use these." Jonathan said, trying to flap his wings. For such a happy world, the justice system in Equestria was pretty brutal. Due to the extremely sexist society, they had been sentenced for 3 years for what Cheerilee had described as "Breaching into the school and attempting to sexually assault both my students and me."

After almost twenty minutes of silence between the two of them, Jacob stood up. "Fuck this, I wasn't teleported into Equestria just to be stuck in a jail cell!" He exclaimed, looking to Jonathan. "Princess Twilight's castle is across town, right?" He asked. "Wait...PRINCESS Twilight? And she has a CASTLE?!" Jonathan asked, shocked. As much as he loved to discuss pastel ponies with the crew, he hadn't watched the show since season two had ended. "Do you even watch the show? She became royalty in season three, and got her own castle in season four." Jacob told him. "Anyways, we need to find a way to explain things to the Princess. I doubt they'd let us in after that incident at the school, so we'll have to break out." He continued. "I got an idea."

Jacob had planned to pull the classic "fake an injury" on the guards. "Ah!" Jacob had howled, caressing his new horse cock in his hooves. After hearing the commotion, a guard had came over to check on their inmates. "What's the matter?" He asked, glaring at Jacob. "This idiot bit down on my cock mid-blow!" He told the guard, pointing towards Jonathan. Jonathan had begun to deny the statement, but Jacob had managed to stop him with a kick to the flank. "Have you never blown someone?" Jacob angrily asked his partner.

When the guard had opened the cell to inspect the wound, the duo took their chance. While Jacob grabbed ahold of the guard, Jonathan grabbed the keys and galloped out of the cell. After Jonathan had been clear from the cell, Jacob bucked the stallion into the wall, knocking him unconscious. After playing Banned From Equestria Daily hundreds of times, Jacob had become a savant when it came to bucking trees. After locking the cell, they left the jail and began making their way to the princess' castle.

"What do you want with Twilight?" Jonathan asked Jacob. "I thought Rarity was your favorite." He was right. Although he wanted nothing more than to make love to his sweet, marshmallow horse, Jacob needed to get a leg up on the other rarifags in the crew. Something glorious, something astonishing, and above all, something that would make Rarity swoon over him. "What could be more fabulous than the beauty that comes with being an alicorn?" Jacob asked, smiling at Jonathan. "...what?" Jonathan replied, confused. Jacob put his hoof to his face. "I'm going to become an alicorn."