Chapters The Remarkably Short, Yet No Less Interesting Career of Commodore Derpy Hooves of The Equestrian Nuclear Submarine Fleet
Chapter 1: A Brave Old World
The smell of seawater and a faint sound of gulls in the distance project and odd sort of tranquility at Fort Of The Two Sisters Naval Base. The waves lapping against the boats at bay give a rhythm that contrasts harshly against the purpose of the base, a launching point for all operations west of continental Equestria. After an accumulation of land and arms by both The Kingdom of Equestria and The Unified Federation of Free Equestrians (UFFE for short) a Cold War had developed and between the two nations and politicians of both countries feared a full ground war. The time was seven years before the return of Princess Luna, Equestria was a different place filled with fear and a resilient hope for the future. It was on this day that a younger Derpy Hooves walked onto the Bay of The Two Sisters and would forever be infamously dubbed as Commodore Hooves.
"Commodore Hooves!", a young naval officer shouted as he gave a salute.
Commodore Hooves said nothing. She was as quiet back then just as she is now. The only difference back then was when she did have something that needed saying, her voice would reverberate with such authority that ponies would have to listen. Commodore Hooves continued to walk through the base, only stopping occasionally to pick up stacks of papers neatly filed away in folders. There was always chattering from subordinate officers about the competence of their new Commodore since she was the youngest mare ever to have reached such a high ranking title. All the rumors where quickly dispelled as she stood up on a platform in the briefing room and gave the overview.
"The class IV submarine, K.S. Pride will travel near the northern coast of the UFFE accompanied by the class III K.S. Valiant and K.S. Bravery. Our primary objective is to display a show of force to any nation that stands before the Crown. As you may have noticed if you read ahead in your report, the new class IV will be equipped with eight ICBM warheads attached to mid-range Vengeance Rockets. Every one in this room knows the importance that no mistakes are made near territorial waters. The fleet will depart at 0600 tomorrow. Gentlecolts you are all dismissed," Commodore Hooves said with a fire in her eyes.
The Remarkably Short, Yet No Less Interesting Career of Commodore Derpy Hooves of The Equestrian Nuclear Submarine Fleet
Chapter 2: A Disagreeable Sea Dog
0500 reads the digital clock from across the briefing room. The night has been long for the young Commodore Hooves yet she remains strong in her convictions. The last bit of paperwork and navigational reports have been signed and approved while the K.S. Pride is being loaded up with the last few crates of supplies. The Commodore grabs a mug off of coffee and takes a walk out on the dock. A cool sea breeze and dense fog fill the harbor and the sun is barely visible. A figure in the fog comes closer as the jingle of medals and badges of honor become increasingly audible.
"So you're the new Commodore? I heard some things about you and wanted to see with my own eyes if they where true," the figure says in a rough voice.
The figure comes closer and reveals the body of an old Captain. His gait is slow but by no means feeble. The Captain has a weathered face and a long white beard. He looks over Commodore Hooves with a fine eye, trying to sense any weakness.
"Aye, it is as I have been told! You look like you just walked out of the doors of the Academy, Whatever it is that makes you special make sure it doesn't interfere with my command of the K.S. Pride!" the old Captain chuckled half-serious in his words.
Commodore Hooves looks the Captain straight in the eyes and says, "Captain Robertson I presume? We were all missing you at the mission briefing yesterday. Can you please explain your absence or does the faint smell of vodka tell me all I need to know?"
Captain Robertson takes a few steps back in disgust them slowly marches up into the face of Commodore Hooves.
"Listen here bubbly, I have something you don't and that is trust. The crew looks at you and sees you as an insult to their seniority. This Navy has ran fine in the past without the position of Commodore for years! I don't know and don't care why Princess Celesta has appointed you personally to an archaic rank. If it is some sort of cruel punishment to My crew and I, so be it! But, I will warn you now that I am not expecting you to stand over my shoulder and play backseat driver of my submarine!" Captain Robertson shouted in anger.
Commodore Hooves started to walk away and the Captain tried to open his most one more time but decided to pursue Commodore Hooves across the dock.
"Look, I am not here to take anyone's job or tell them how to do it. I still expect you to honor the chain of command or I will call the mission off right now. The Princess has assigned me to this post based on my skills of leading a fleet and something else that many of the Captains do not have," Commodore Hooves said without raising her voice.
"What skill is that?" Captain Robertson asked more reserved in his tone.
"Restraint, the skill is restraint. The Princess orders the fleet out carrying nuclear arms and she intends that they never be used over anything more than a threat. I believe you have a submarine to attend to Captain Robertson. I will join you as soon as I have finished my mug," Commodore Hooves retorted.
The Captain nodded and walked back towards the K.S. Pride. The last pallet of supplies was being lifted by crane into the cargo bay of the submarine. In the distance there was the march of sailors adorned in white making a slow procession to the harbor. It would be the last time they would see land in months, for some of them this would be the last time they would see land at all.
The Remarkably Short, Yet No Less Interesting Career of Commodore Derpy Hooves of The Equestrian Nuclear Submarine Fleet
Chapter 3: Six Hundred Below
"We've been spotted! Torpedo off of port captain! Brace! Breach in the hull, Breach in the hull! Ship's sinking captain! Decompression in twenty minutes!" mumbled voices screeched in the head of Commodore Hooves.
The Commodore got up out of her bunk in the Officers Quarters and walked over to the coffee maker. Commodore Hooves hated making a habit of any substance but as of late it was required for her to wake up in the morning. It may have been a bad omen to keep having the same nightmare night after night but Commodore Hooves wasn't a very superstitious mare. It times of old it was said Princess Luna would provide guidance for those lost in their dreams but no help of the sort was available now. The shrinks would be out of a job if such a legend were true.
Commodore Hooves grabbed her jacket and hat while on the way out into the hall. It was only the third day of the voyage but being out of the view of the sun makes time seem like one long night. In all honesty it was also pretty boring. Below the metal grate walkway there was the sound of laughter by some of the sailors. Above the metal grate ceiling there was the clink of utensils and trays from the mess hall. The walk to the command room seemed to go by fast and as mundane as it was, it was the only change in scenery that could be afforded to most higher level officers.
The door swings open and the command room is revealed. Monitors, maps, and blinking buttons were scattered throughout. It was a wonder more ponies didn't complain of eyestrain since this was the only light was from some accent lamps above and the green glow of computer screens.
"Well look who's up lads! I was about to send someone after ya. Did ya get a good rest sleeping beauty?" Captain Robertson chuckled.
"I am glad to see someone doesn't have their knickers in a twist this morning. If you really wanted to know I slept horribly." Commodore Hooves retorted.
"It happens to the best of us but if it persists, ya best be seeing the medic to get ya some of them sleeping pills," the Captain responded.
Something seemed off about Captain Robertson thought Commodore Hooves. He was in to much of a good spirit to be sober.
"Alright Robertson cut the cud and had over your flask," the Commodore demanded.
"I have no such thing and I don't like ya throwing accusations around on me sub!" the Captain slurred.
The Commodore noticed his hind leg shift something underneath the desk. She swiftly reached under and pulled out a silver flask half-full of something.
"Is this how you command your vessel Robertson? Your liquored up beyond stupor. I can begin to see why your crew holds you in such high esteem. I bet they could pull all sorts of stunts while you are out of your wits!" Commodore Hooves chastised.
"Calm down bubbles, we haven't even left Equestrian waters yet. I am so sorry that I even dare to have a crutch. Not even the Admiral is expected to stay dry for three months!" the Captain reasoned.
Commodore Hooves stared at Captain Robertson for a good minute or so. The tension in the room could be cut with a knife. Finally the flask was handed back to the Captain.
"Fine, take your liquor on your own time but not when the lives of your crew are on the line. If I see you with that flask in this command room again I will submit a vote of no confidence to the Admiral. Do you understand me?" Commodore Hooves bargained.
The Captain slipped the flask in his pocket and walked over to door. He almost left before turning around and getting the last word.
"Don't think you are all high and mighty because I abided to your agreement. We both now you don't have the experience to run a fleet!" Captain Robertson shouted as he turned once more for the door.
Commodore Hooves could help but smirk. She sat down in the Captain's seat and started to work over the controls. It became apparent how the Captain was comfortable enough to drink on the job. The Captain's station was a leather chair that overlooked the rest of the Command Room. There were a few monitors on one side and levers accompanied by switches on the other. The Commodore got up and walked behind the chair to the periscope. She pulled it down and extended it up to the full length but only saw water.
"How deep are we currently?" the Commodore asked.
A young sailor looked away from a monitor and replied, "Ma'am we are 600 feet below."
The Remarkably Short, Yet No Less Interesting Career of Commodore Derpy Hooves of The Equestrian Nuclear Submarine Fleet
Chapter 4: In Troubled Waters
Captain Robertson is peering over the heads of his subordinates in the Command Room. His posture is sunken into the leather of his seat and the urge to close his eyes is growing by the minute. The Captain looks over at the clock to his right and learns it is now 0600. It is the second week of the fleet's voyage and the Captain was looking forward to the shift change. In fact he was a little annoyed that Commodore Hooves was a few minutes late to take command of the ship. Finally he heard the familiar sound of the Command Room door that signified his release.
"Good Morning Captain Robertson. Do you have my navigational report ready yet?" Commodore Hooves said while on her way up to the Captain's seat.
"They are right on the desk. Oh, and today is the day we leave Equestrian waters. If you would like me to stay awake for the transition I could manage to wait a few hours but I would prefer to sleep if at all possible," the captain replied as he yawned.
"It's all right Robertson I can manage. Besides old men need their sleep," Commodore Hooves jokingly retorted.
"I am serious kid, the transition into enemy waters needs to be subtitle. You must be deep enough and have your eye on the radar at all times. And still, you must communicate to the other captains do exactly the same as you do. If you are not absolutely sure you can manage that there is no shame in asking for my help. I would not be so foolish to let my pride get in the way of keeping all six hundred sailors safe," the Captain said more serious in tone than ever before.
"Thanks for the offer Captain Robertson but I truly believe that I can accomplish this without issue. Besides you look like you are halfway out the door already. Go get some sleep," Commodore Hooves responded confidently.
The Captain nodded in agreement and headed back to the Officer Quarters. Commodore Hooves strolled up to the desk and flipped through the navigational report. The fleet was heading northwest at 25 knots while being currently positioned at 15 degrees above the equator. The transition would begin in a few minutes and the Commodore was prepared.
"Alright everyone wake up! We got work to do! The transition into enemy waters is ETA two minutes. I want to pull back five knots and start our descent to nine hundred feet. While I am on the phone with the K.S. Bravery and K.S. Valiant I want eyes on the radar," Commodore Hooves shouted out.
The Commodore picked up a white phone and flipped a few switches. The crew in the background began to adjust levers and shuffle around.
"This is Commodore Hooves of the K.S. Pride calling out to the K.S. Bravery and K.S. Valiant. Reduce speed by five knots and start your descent to nine hundred feet in preparation for the crossing. From here on out no more radio communications, if you need direction please respond with the encoded morse code that is in sealed orders 14a. Am I understood?" Commodore Hooves communicated through the phone.
"Rodger that K.S. Pride, K.S. Bravery going dark," A captain responded.
"Rodger that K.S. Pride, K.S. Valiant going dark," Another captain replied.
Then there was silence.
Commodore Hooves sat down the phone and faced the Command Room. All there was left to do now was wait.
"Commodore we are now in enemy waters. The time is 0605 on day 14 of the voyage. The fleet is 2 hours ahead of schedule on the timeline," an officer shouted.
The Commodore nodded and sat back. A couple hours passed by and nothing appeared on the radar nor did any of the other ships have problems keeping up. A gradual sense of comfort blanked the Command Room. Officers breathed a sigh of relief once the ships hit their first checkpoint on the plans. 150 nautical miles deep into enemy controlled waters without incident was cause for most to sink back into their seats and watch the clock go by.
This was the defining moment in the journey. If a certain incident didn't occur right here everyone would have completed the mission with honors. There would be no crying at the harbor nor striping of rank but fate has a funny way of throwing a wretch in all of that. Just as everyone sat back in their chairs and began to let their guard down the whole room went black. The sudden darkness was startling but only lasted long enough to make a reasonable case for the idea that it didn't happen in the first place. The reboot of all major systems did alert the Commodore to the fact that something was very wrong.
"Get the radar back online! I want a full report of all systems!" The Commodore directed.
There was a shuffle in the Command Room. Officers getting print-outs, checking dials, and pushing buttons. The radar was offline for a good minute but as soon as it did come on there was different. When it cycled there was only a resonate pong and no pings. The K.S. Bravery and K.S. Valiant where not on there. It was impossible, each ship was only a few hundred feet behind the K.S. Pride and now they have vanished.
"What is our current location?" Commodore Hooves shouted.
An officer got up from his station and reported, "We haven't moved!"
The Remarkably Short, Yet No Less Interesting Career of Commodore Derpy Hooves of The Equestrian Nuclear Submarine Fleet
"I want to know what the hay is going in my Submarine! Can anyone give me a proper report of what in Equestria is going on?" Commodore Hooves shouted over the chaos.
"Your submarine? Bubbles I thought we talked about this. The submarine is mine and when she starts acting up I am the first to know!" Captain Robertson hollered as he barged in the Command Room.
The Captain rushed up to his station while almost knocking down several officers on his way. He was immensely concerned and started to look over the monitors and flick switches.
"What did the mean lady do to you? You can tell me because I am going to make it all better. Now just cooperate with me!" Captain Robertson told his submarine in a soft voice.
"The fault occurred out of nowhere captain. I would assume that it was a power failure and would suggest that the engineers take a look at the reactor," Commodore Hooves said to the Captain.
"I will send send them at once but what is important is what our current position is. We won't be able to do jack if we are sailing blind!" Captain Robertson replied.
Captain Robertson walked off towards the Command Room door in frustration. Then he turned around to face Commodore Hooves.
"Shall I fetch the sealed orders? The Admiral made it clear that there was to be no second guessing in enemy waters," Captain Robertson asked Commodore Hooves.
"I think it would be appropriate. I believe the protocol for unknown system failure in enemy waters would be under Packet 6B but go ahead and bring out Sealed Orders 14A as well. The K.S. Pride needs to regain contact with the rest of the fleet, even if it means breaking radio silence," Commodore Hooves directed.
The Captain nodded and rushed out into the corridor. The Commodore sat down in order to think about the situation. If the fault was just a power surge than it could be monitored and remediated. This situation was most likely and the Commodore hoped it was that simple. Why was the radar indicating an empty ocean? If it was just a power surge why would the radar give false readings? Two Class lll submarines don't just disappear. Perhaps the surge damaged the navigational system. It would explain why no motion would be indicated when the engines are running at full power. What if the navigational system can't be fixed? Radio contact with the other two submarines would be necessary if the K.S. Pride was sailing blind. There would be no way that the submarine could surface since the K.S. Pride was now within range of UFFE radars. All of these questions raged in the Commodore's mind but she wanted results. Commodore Hooves got up and approached the group of engineers working on the radar.
"Hey eggheads! How is the radar coming along?" the Commodore inquired.
"No disrespect ma'am but you insist on calling the ship's sonar the radar. The sonar is cycling normally and there would be no reason to assume that it would be giving a false reading if we didn't know that it couldn't possibly be correct. I would focus on the navigational system since that might be more of a pressing issue," an engineer said.
Commodore Hooves was a little embarrassed but told the engineer to keep an eye on the sonar for any changes. The revelation made her think about whether she really belonged in the Command Room of a nuclear submarine. Even though Commodore Hooves passed all her competency exams she felt that the fine details of things gets away from her every now and then. The thought didn't stick around too long since an engineer was rushing towards the Commodore and he looked like he had something important to say.
"Ma'am there is two objects that have popped up on the sonar," the engineer reported.
"Great, the K.S. Valiant and K.S. Bravery I presume. Call Captain Robertson and tell him that the sonar is back in order," Commodore Hooves said with relief.
"Actually I would go as far to say that ma'am since the objects are 7 kilometers in ahead of our current location," the engineer retorted.
"That doesn't make any sense! The Valiant and the Bravery where 2 kilometers astern when the fleet when dark!" the Commodore shouted in confusion.
"Well if the navigational system is not faulted as originally thought then it is possible for the fleet to have moved that distance while the K.S. Pride remained stationary," the engineer stated.
"Why would they move so far ahead if the K.S. Pride stopped abruptly? Wouldn't it not cross the minds' of the other captains to check in about the change of course?" the Commodore reasoned.
"I deal in possibilities but the probability is your call. I can't make sense out of either theory there is just too many questionable variables to validate either at this point. Perhaps the K.S. Pride's communications are down as well and the other subs are desperately trying to make contact or the sonar is damaged more than previously thought and the objects indicated don't exist at all. Either way I would suggest that any conclusion based on the information given should come under strict scrutiny. All we know at this point is that one or more of these systems are giving inaccurate readings," the engineer explained.
The Commodore stepped back and was torn on what to do. The objects could not even be there. It is not out of the question that the navigational system could be incorrect and the K.S. Pride could be sailing along side the rest of the fleet like nothing has happened. It seemed the conundrum was whether to trust the sonar, the navigational system, or neither. Then it hit the Commodore that no matter which was true it would be hard if not impossible to find for sure without exposing the fleet to the watchful eye of the UFFE. The sub couldn't surface now nor could it break radio silence even if the messages where encoded in the secret Morse Code. The UFFE would likely be alerted both ways. Even worse was the thought that the two unknown vessels on the sonar could be enemy submarines. The Commodore was more unsure of herself than ever before. What should the K.S. Pride do?
Just as the Commodore was about to slam her head on the desk the Captain finally returned to the Command Room with the packets in hand.
"Commodore! We have a problem!" The Captain said uneasily.
"Tell me about it Robertson. I have no idea what to do!" the Commodore Moaned.
"I don't either if we don't find the interloper soon I will have to seize up the missiles and turn this submarine around!" Captain Robertson exclaimed.
"What are you talking about old man? The sonar and navigation systems are on the fritz and I have no idea which one, if any, to trust," Commodore Hooves said with a confused voice.
"We have bigger problems than that Bubbles. The packet 6B is missing. I have my most trusted boys combing the ship for the traitor!" Captain Robertson stated while darting his eyes to the corners of the room.
"That is impossible! The sealed orders are kept in the safe that only you and I have the keys to. I personally placed the packets in the safe on the first day of the voyage. All of them were there I quadrupled checked. My key has been around my neck the entire time but I don't see yours! Did you lose it Captain Robertson!" Commodore Hooves said in horror.
"Calm down, mine hasn't been messed with either. I keep it "below deck" if you know what I am saying," Captain Robertson replied.
"What are we going to do now? I don't know where we are, where the fleet is, whether we are about to be attacked or have an UFFE agent onboard with plans of ill-intent, and the only thing that could be are saving grace has slipped out from under our noses. We are up the creak without a paddle!" the Commodore shouted hysterically.
The Captain looked over at the Commodore and replied, "I wouldn't say all hope is lost now. I would rather think we are just in the dark about what is really going on in our submarine."
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The Remarkably Short, Yet No Less Interesting Career of Commodore Derpy Hooves of The Equestrian Nuclear Submarine Fleet
Chapter 7: Fouled Up Beyond All Recognition
Chapter 7: Fouled Up Beyond All Recognition
Captain Robertson turned away from the Commodore and shouted to his crew, "Fifteen degrees starboard at full, on the double lads!"
"Belay that order! The K.S. Pride will remain stationary until the fault in the sonar has resolved itself. I am to believe that the indicated torpedo is nothing more than a ruse. Altering our course could be playing into the plan of the saboteur!" Commodore Hooves commanded.
Captain Roberson sits down on his seat and buckles his lap restraint, "Hooves we are going to be hole-punched in fifteen seconds! I will not be standing up when your 'brilliant' deduction blows up in your face."
"You are not going to challenge me?" Commodore Hooves replied.
"Well you are the senior officer! Besides this a good teaching moment for ya. You can wait for it to hit us or maybe just maybe you can still give the order and we can avoid it. Whatever is going to happen I won't be a part of it. How about you take over for once o mighty Commodore?" Captain Robertson said.
"I will not move her. The K.S. Pride isn't going anywhere!" Commodore Hooves proclaimed.
"It is your choice, the wrong one but yours regardless. I would suggest you hold onto something since we have three seconds to impact." Captain Robertson said smugly.
The Commodore quickly walked over to the railing that overlooked the lower level of the Command Room. All she could see was the backsides of officers in brace position and the sonar projected on a large screen. The torpedo inched closer and closer until it reached its target. Nothing happened, not a single vibration. The officers began to look up at the sonar with confused looks.
"What did I tell you Robertson! There was nothing there and for once I was rig-" The Commodore proudly stated before being cut off by a huge shockwave that hit the whole submarine all at once. The Command Room vibrated violently which caused most of the crew to slam their heads against the monitors in front of them. The Commodore looked over the whole scene with awe before she was knocked off her hooves and flew over the railing. Captain Robertson griped onto his seat tightly until the movement stopped. The Command Room became oddly still. There was a moment of complete silence before the red overhead warning lights came to life once more. Three staccato beeps designated a fire somewhere aboard the ship. Captain Robertson looked around and figured it must not be near since thewas no smoke. He unbuckled his restraints and got up slowly. Once he got his bearings he rushed over to the ledge.
"Commodore Hooves are you alright?" Robertson shouted while overlooking her from above.
There was no response.
"Someone check on the Commodore just to make sure she hasn't keeled over. That is the last thing we need to happen. Do we have an idea of the extent of the damage yet?" Captain Robertson inquired.
Two ponies rushed over to the Commodore while a sailor looked up from a monitor and reported, "Comms are down Captain! I dispatched a group of engineers to do a quick once over of the ship. As soon as I know we will all know, Sir!"
"How is the Commodore boys?" Captain Robertson asked.
The two ponies looked at each other and frowned, "She isn't coming to, Captain! It appears the Commodore banged her head pretty hard against this console."
Just as they said that the Commodore moaned. She covered her face with her fore hooves and tried to stand. The sailors steadied her as she began to walk up the flight of stairs to Captain Robertson.
"What happened? Did we get hit?" the Commodore managed to say in a quiet voice.
"Yes, Bubbles I am afraid we did. I hope you had a nice trip, see you next fall!" Captain Robertson chuckled.
"You jerk! I fall off a railing and the ship could have possibly encountered crippling damage. What is the first to come spewing out of that trap of yours? A school yard wisecrack that no one over the age of five would find funny!" the Commodore screamed.
"I am sorry, I really am. Would it make you feel better if I point out that it appears both your eyes have gone lazy on you." Captain Robertson said.
The Commodore stepped back and tried squinting and shifting her focus from side to side. Her reflection off of a metal desk confirmed Robertson's observation. The Commodore had messed up her eyes somehow and now they didn't want to stay straight. She pounded at the desk and breathed out a flurry curses that even a hardened sailor would find to be a little coarse. Commodore Hooves walked off into a corner and sobbed into her hooves.
"Smooth as steel wool, Captain. Maybe you should tone down the ridicule and show some empathy for once. At very least you should be checking on the damage of the Pride," A sailor mouthed off in the background.
The Captain looked over harshly towards the direction of the scorn. Then he walked over over to Commodore Hooves and attempted to calm her.
He said in a soft reserved tone, "Bubbles, you know I am just a crass old man trying to get through a crisis before his first flask of vodka. I don't always think when I run my mouth and I didn't mean to hurt you. I know how important looks are to a young mare like yourself and I shouldn't have poked fun at your injury. I need you right now though. The submarine could be sinking and we wouldn't know yet. I am bad at this whole apologizing thing so can I please get back my back seat driver?"
"You screwed me over old man!" The Commodore coughed up in between sniffles.
"I did what now?" The Captain asked.
"You knew it was a real torpedo and you let me just sit there. I just got the K.S. Pride hit on the very first voyage of my career!" Commodore Hooves accused.
"Hooves, I was as unsure of it as you were but I chose action instead of chance. I allowed you to take over because I figured you saw something I didn't and where trying hard to display whatever made you special enough to yet promoted to Commodore in the first place. That was a mistake. I shouldn't have took the training wheels off your bike and pushed you downhill. What is important now is that we pick up the pieces and make sure that the UFFE doesn't send half of the Equestrian nuclear arsenal to the bottom of the ocean!" Captain Robertson said.
The Captain turned around to the mass of commissioned officers that gathered behind him and shouted, "Alright boys I think we have a grasp on who is in our waters. I Declare the unknown submarines hostile combatants and I want the Pride turned around if she has got any engines left. Get all personal to action stations. I want the torpedoes loaded by the time we get within ten kilos of their current location. Now let's personally deliver these lowlife scum suckers to the gates of Tartarus for Queen and country!"
The Remarkably Short, Yet No Less Interesting Career of Commodore Derpy Hooves of The Equestrian Nuclear Submarine Fleet
Chapter 8: Sinking Feeling
"Captain Robertson! I must express my severe reservations about engaging the targets. We still have no idea on what condition the Pride is in and attacking any UFFE vessel could spark an international incident," Commodore Hooves interjected while Captain Robertson sat down in his chair.
"You really have no idea, do you Hooves? The UFFE and the Kingdom of Equestria have been at war for a long time. Whether it is covert ops, espionage, or deep sea skirmishes the two nations will always be at war. It is never publicized because we lose as just as many battles as we win. So what if a sub is reported missing or a few intelligence officers go MIA, the news will never report it. I am sure that back home our families believe that peaceful relations are around the corner and the little ones will live to see a united world of equines. That unfortunate delusion may work wonders on the home front but out here Hooves, we are very much at war," Captain Robertson dismissively replied.
"Can you not see how blind we really are? There is an undoubtedly a saboteur aboard and we still haven't received a damage report from the last blow! This is not the time for a head-on attack. As your superior I demand that the Pride is pulled away from the enemy subs and we immediately withdraw from UFFE waters entirely," Commodore Hooves commanded.
"I thought we were on the same page here bubbles. I am, along with several of my subordinates declaring you unfit for duty in light of your gross display of incompetence and subsequent injury. Effective immediately you will be following my orders. Now can you play along nicely and see if the damage report is ready yet?" Captain Robertson said.
"This is madness! You all are mad! I am your Commodore personally appointed by the highest authority in land. How will Princess Celestia react to your misconduct?" Commodore Hooves yelled.
"Look at who is having a fit lads! 'Commodore' if you would please help me run my ship I would be much obliged. If not I can always send for someone to lock you up in the infirmary until your head can get looked at. Also if you could please hand over your activation key since I don't feel very comfortable while it is still in your posse-" the Captain said before being interrupted by an officer.
"Captain! The ship has received massive damage to the engines and there is large amounts of coolant leaking onto the ground. The engineers say we will be only able to run at half power until the issue has been resolved. Curiously enough, there is no water leaking into the hull on any deck which has lead me to believe the damage has been caused by an internal explosion," The officer reported.
The Commodore looked over at the Captain and exclaimed, "Ha, it was the work of the saboteur and not a torpedo. Will you please call off the assault now! The unknowns are not hostile and the submarine's systems are to blame for all the confusion!"
"Have you forgotten about the rest of your fleet Little Miss Subordinate? What has happened to the Valiant and the Bravery? I may not have clairvoyance but I would bet my hind leg that the sabotage is part of a greater scheme to pick us off one by one. I will not allow my submarine to take pot shots from enemy submarines while we try to get out of here. The orders still stand," The Captain responded.
Captain Robertson turned forward in his chair and proceeded to look over the controls. Commodore Hooves had a sinking feeling she was welcomed in the captain's chair anymore. Deciding that there was little she could do to regain control of the situation Commodore Hooves decided to investigate the Engine Room. She walked down the stairs and passed through the Command Room while no one saluted her on the way out. It wasn't until the Commodore reached the ladder down to the lower levels that she realized the severity of her injury.
She tried to walk down one rung at a time. The first few felt like an eternity while the next few went by in a blur. Commodore Hooves' vision began to fade. She felt faint and before long the Commodore slipped of a rung and fell. The Commodore spread her wings out and tried to flap but to no avail. A thunderous clunk rang throughout the lower decks.
For a moment, It seemed to be all over. A horrendous nightmare that had been dispelled by the sunlight of a new day. There was a bright light. There was comfort. There was water? Yes, water strangely enough was present in the injured hallucination of the Commodore. It was subtle at first with waves nudging against the hooves of the Commodore. Then it rapidly engrossed her body until she began to choke, unable to breath.
Suddenly the Commodore awoke at the bottom of the ladder. It was dark since the only illumination came from flickering emergency lights. The greater part of the room was filled with water that reached up to the Commodore's neck. Some time must have past since the fall and the ship is under red alert once more. Commodore Hooves turns around to face the ladder but bumps into something. The surprise startled her greatly but it wasn't until she realized it was a dead body before she felt truly terrified.
After the adrenalin rush, Commodore Hooves raced up the ladder to the crew quarters. It was an awful sight to behold. Steady streams of dripping water leaked from the grated floors above and horrified screams of trapped sailors reverberated from the decks below. The alarm blared constantly accompanied by the blinding red light that would cast an eerie glow on the scene.
When the Commodore finally reached the Command Room door she noticed it was propped open by the body of the Chief Engineer. He was still alive which was made evident by the arrhythmic rise and fall of his chest. What was strange was his injuries. A single bullet wound to the abdomen.
An unknown voice inside the command room echoed, "Commodore Hooves I presume? I believe I am the one you have been searching for. Come on in, I think it is time we are properly introduced."
The Remarkably Short, Yet No Less Interesting Career of Commodore Derpy Hooves of The Equestrian Nuclear Submarine Fleet
Chapter 9: Altered States
Commodore Hooves slowly walked into the darkened void that was the Command Room. All of the electronic equipment from blinking lights to flashing screens were inactive. Unlike the corridor, there was a normal light turned on, the Captain's desk lamp. It shined dimly onto the lower level which allowed the Commodore to make a stunning revelation. The crew had been completely culled. A straight line of bodies all baring a single bullet wound.
A voice from behind the lamp above abruptly said, "Are you impressed with my work Hooves? It takes real finesse to take over a submarine single-handedly."
The Commodore immediately faced the unknown speaker and pulled out her sidearm. She then preceded to ask, "Why?"
"I am sorry that I have to break it to you Commodore but war isn't about bravery or being valiant. War gets dirty and so very cold. The victors are often those who dare to do what the enemy will not. I dared to take out the Equestrian Nuclear Submarine Fleet and you insisted on playing it by the book. Your foolish sense of order offends my sensibilities. That is why I threw out 'the book' or as you would say the sealed orders just to make the whole thing more interesting!" The voice said.
"You still haven't answered my question! Why would the UFFE risk nuclear war just to gain control of a few submarines with nukes?" the Commodore shouted.
"Who said I was working for the UFFE, sweetheart? The paranoia of your government made the fleet an easy target. I am acting alone because my plans benefit no one except my inner peace. My aim is to release chaos onto the world even better than days of old. The world's most powerful weapon is well suited for that need," the voice chuckled.
"You would have the whole world reduced to ash just for sick kicks! I want to see your face before I blow holes in it!" the Commodore screamed.
"That may prove to be difficult seeing how I am without one for the moment. It may come to you as shocking to learn that I am nothing more than an intelligence. Whispers in the ear of weak minded fools. Some say I am the very spirit of chaos but we are smart enough not succumb to the descriptions of idolizers. I know not what I am or where I come from but the one thing I am sure of is that must I end this miserable race of equines who are unworthy of life. They care not of their own. They hold petty grudges against each other while erecting walls between all that is to be walled in. So many lost and so many in pain. If you would see the world the way I see it you would gladly turn that launch key too," the voice spat out in disgust.
"So you're a ghost?" Commodore Hooves asked.
"No I am not ghost! What did I just say! Were you even listing? I am an intelligence of magical origin. I have decided to wipe out your race because it has become an eyesore to me. I am plain and simple. The peace I seek will be found when I have your launch key and begin the nuclear apocalypse. Try to keep up," the voice taunted.
"You don't have to be jerk about it," the Commodore said under her breath.
"Oh, I am so very sorry that I offend! Can you not see I am trying to be deep and foreboding? My evil acts shall be known across the world yet you scold me for my lack of manners! Unbelievable, you are simply unbelievable!" the voice replied mildly annoyed.
"This whole act you are putting on for me is flattering but honestly I think you are compensating for something," Commodore said plainly.
"What? Don't make me laugh Hooves! I am perfectly capable of accomplishing my goals. In fact the only reason you are still alive is because I wanted to see the look on your face when the world ends. Since you are not impressed with my dramatic conclusion I can just kill you now and get on with it," the voice said.
"I am not saying that you are not good at turning off the lights and yelling 'boo!" What I am trying to say is you don't have a good reason to end the world. In fact, I am to believe you are not of magical origin at all! You are nothing but a scared foal tossing around heavy handed themes and propositions!" the Commodore exclaimed.
"You really are a special type of stupid aren't you? I have no words. Please by all means explain what the strange turn of events means to you?" the voice said sarcastically.
The Commodore was now stumped. She felt smart for a second but that quickly dissipated after she realized the gravity of the situation. Commodore Hooves was with a malevolent force in a damaged submarine holding enough firepower to destroy the world. She was just about to give up before she remembered something her grandmother told her. If you can't impress people with your intelligence then baffle them with your baloney!
"I have figured it out! You can't exist," the Commodore replied confidently.
"I can assure you that I do exist. Do you have anymore objections to reality?" the voice dismissed.
"Hear me out whatever you are! You can not exist because you don't have a physical form!" the Commodore exclaimed confidently.
"What makes you think that I do not exist just because I don't have a body?" the voice said.
"You need to have a host to interact with physical objects!" the Commodore continued.
"Ok I see you still haven't left the mentality that I am a ghost. You are however right about the physical objects part. That is where you will come into play when I decide to turn the launch keys," the voice explained.
"Then you have failed. If I am the last one you need to turn the keys then you simply can not win. Princess Celestia personally choose me for the rank of Commodore because I have an ability that no other pony on board has. My restraint will keep me from bending to your will. Let's be honest here, if you could have taken over my body than you would have done so already!" Commodore Hooves exclaimed.
The voice was silent.
"You are stronger than I thought Commodore. I can not break you like I did the Captain. Worry not, hypnotism is one of my many parlor tricks. If I can not convince you in your current state then I must wake you and proceed with my alternate plans. If I may ask, what tipped you off to my illusion?" the voice asked as it grew fainter in volume.
"What? I thought this was real!" the Commodore said in confusion.
"No, it is not. This conversation didn't happen in the way it appeared. You are still unconscious at the bottom of the ladder. I am the one you have been calling the saboteur and I was trying to take advantage of your mind but it appears I am out of luck. You are either too strong or too stupid to be hypnotized. A fact which I will gladly blow my cover over! Fortunately, you will never find me in time to save the Pride!" the voice explained.
"Who ever you are know that I will be coming for you! I can think of nothing worse than a coward who would rather mess with the mind instead of fighting honorably," the Commodore exclaimed.
The Commodore opened her eyes. She was at the bottom of the ladder perfectly dry and well illuminated. She started up the ladder for the Command Room; this time it would be for real.
The Remarkably Short, Yet No Less Interesting Career of Commodore Derpy Hooves of The Equestrian Nuclear Submarine Fleet
Chapter 10: Reinstated
Commodore Hooves rushed through the corridor back to the Command Room passing through uneventful halls. The Command Room door swung open and the Commodore rushed passed the rows of monitors to go straight to the Captain's station.
"Hey Bubbles, you are back early. Any news on the engine room situation?" Captain Robertson asked.
The Commodore didn't say a word as she ran up to him and clocked him right in the snout. The Captain winced in pain and took a few steps back. A few officers witnessed the attack and moved in to restrain the Commodore.
As they held the Commodore down she screamed deliriously, "Snap out of it Robertson! You are under a hypnotic trance!"
"Ok now I know you damaged that noggin of yours! What kind of bilge are you spouting on about now?" the Captain inquired while cupping a hoof over his snout.
"I had a vision! At the bottom of the ladder I was contacted by the saboteur who tried to hypnotize me. He was unsuccessful in convincing me but he said he already got through to you!" the Commodore explained.
"At first I had my doubts but now I can see the truth. You are completely mentally infirm! I am going to walk you down to the sick bay myself and we are going to get you the care you need," the Captain replied.
"No please! Just listen to me for another moment! In the trance the saboteur needed my key. I am not sure if it meant the launch key or the safe containing the sealed orders key. This made me realize that you must have opened the sealed orders safe and discarded the orders, even if you were not aware of it," the Commodore continued.
"I do not like what you are implying Hooves. I think you are trying to say that under some kind of 'hypnotic trance' I opened the safe to carry out the actions of the saboteur. There is no way that we could prove this and I don't even believe in hypnosis! And I thought I was supposed to be the superstitious old sailor on this ship," Captain Robertson said.
"Tell me Robertson, where is your launch key?" Commodore Hooves asked.
"It is on the same key ring as the safe key. Why do you ask?" Captain Robertson retorted with suspicion.
"Can you check if you still have it on you?" the Commodore said.
"I thought we already discussed why I can't do that right now. Does the whole 'below deck' thing ring any bells?" the Captain whispered.
"Grow up Captain! We don't usually wear clothes anyway. Just reach deep inside your pockets and let's see if I am on the right track here," the Commodore continued.
"I can't say I follow where you are going with this but I guess it won't hurt to check," the captain said as he reached inside his back pocket. He fished around for good a minute of so but was unable to find the familiar jingle of the key chain. The Captain turned around in horror towards the Nuclear Launch Console.
Inside one of keyholes there was the Captain's key in the security lock.
"I think you might be on to something, Bubbles. If you promise to not punch me in square in the face again I will have you unrestrained," the Captain said.
The Commodore got back up on her hooves and walked over to the launch console. The key dangled the rest of the key ring which contained the safe key and the Captain's ID.
"I don't know what this means but I think we should focus on your saboteur angle a little more," the Captain stated while stroking his beard.
There was a commotion in the room below and by now the Captain and Commodore instinctively walked over to the balcony when the busy sounds of chairs moving and papers shuffling echoed from the room below.
"We are in attack range of the two unknown submarines, Sir! Do the orders still stand?" a crew member reported from his station.
"Oh right, the unknowns! Given the recent excitement I forgot about them for a second there. Belay the previous orders but stay in action stations. I want to see how the unknowns react to our change in position. Perhaps the Commodore was right about the threat being entirely internal," the Captain commanded.
"If you are up to it, Hooves then I would love to have you back in the Command Room again," Captain Robertson said to the Commodore.
"Absolutely! No hard feelings and let bygones be bygones. I think the next course of action should be to find out who has access to your quarters. It is most likely that you could have been hypnotized during your sleep," the Commodore cheerfully stated.
"We are really going to run with this hypnosis theory, eh?" the Captain snorted.
"I would like to hear some of your brilliant theories then!" Commodore Hooves replied.
"Fair enough, but I still find it hard to swallow that's all. The only ponies that have access to the room are myself and my superiors, so that means you by the way," Captain Robertson stated.
"Don't insult me Robertson! I think we can assume that the saboteur doesn't have the clearance. What I want to know is who would have the opportunity to break into your quarters," Commodore Hooves retorted.
"Well, the maintenance crew does have the tools required to force open a door and then put it back in place without anyone noticing. Maybe we should start there." The Captain said.
"Alright, where can we talk to the maintenance crew?" the Commodore inquired.
The Captain walked over to a scheduling book on his desk and said, "They should be in the Mess Hall right now for breakfast. If you hurry you could catch them before their first shift starts."
"Then that's were I will be heading off to. Oh, and Captain do you know where my jacket is? I have seem to lost track of it." the Commodore said.
"I have no idea, Hooves. You had it on when you stormed out of here last," the Captain replied as he turned to desk to look at a navigational report.
"Strange, how very strange," the Commodore said to herself as she walked out of the Command Room.
The Remarkably Short, Yet No Less Interesting Career of Commodore Derpy Hooves of The Equestrian Nuclear Submarine Fleet
Chapter 11: The Lone Muffin
The Commodore walked down the familiar grated hallway to the Mess Hall. A path she seemed to be walking alone on. The entire corridor was dead quiet except for the humming of the ventilation system. Commodore Hooves opened the heavy door to Mess Hall and was met with the intoxicating smells of breakfast. Today's special seemed to be blueberry muffins with milk. The Commodore almost stepped in the food line before she saw a large congregation of maintenance workers siting at a table.
The maintenance crew was a gruff but lighthearted bunch. They leaned back in their chairs and laughed occasionally at some funny stories of misadventures during shore leave. Most of them involved an unsuccessful attempt at wooing a mare. One of the crew was being pestered about how he got his eyepatch. Apparently a bar-fight broke out after he tried hitting on someone else's "very special somepony" and the sailor lost his right eye for his trouble. The Commodore would never understand why anyone enjoys the so-called bar scene.
After the antics of the sailors died down the Commodore pulled up a chair to sit at the middle of the table. The entirety of the maintenance stood up and saluted before apologizing about not seeing her. The Commodore said nothing but she did take a muffin off of an adjacent tray. She eyed the whole group suspiciously while slowly chewing her muffin. The other members of the table looked backed and forth at each other in awkward silence.
"Is this all of the maintenance crew?" Commodore Hooves said with her mouth full.
"Yes, Ma'am! All of us are here except Hector and he is in Sickbay," the sailor with the eyepatch replied.
"How long has this Hector been in the Sickbay?" the Commodore asked before sipping on a nearby milk carton.
The Commodore immediately spat out the milk violently and shouted, "This is brandy! And it is not even good brandy! What kind of dollar store liquor you smuggle on this boat anyway? I swear, this whole cursed boat has a drinking problem!"
The entire table burst out in uncontrollable laughter. Even when she was giving a harsh scolding, the Commodore couldn't help but to make light of the situation. It was awhile before everyone calmed down but when they did the members of the table where significantly more relaxed in posture.
"So what about this 'Hector' fellow, eh lads? What is he doing locked up in the Sickbay while all the merry-making is up here?" The Commodore Said while drinking some real milk.
"I would say he would like to be, Mum. The poor thing has had his behind stuck in bed since day one. Hit his 'ead on a pipe at the end of the C Deck stairwell. They got him all bandaged up and from what I hear he's been out cold for the past week or so. Slipped into some sort of coma and the poor fellow may not make it," the pony in the eyepatch said.
"That's a real shame. I'd hate to have to inform the next of kin on my very first voyage. Gather round y'all, let's dedicate a drink to the health of Hector," The Commodore said while holding up her milk carton.
All around the table there was the bumping of "milk" cartons followed by a solemn swig. The Commodore looked up at the clock on an adjacent wall and saw that the hour was almost up.
"Seeing how everypony here is so tight knit it would be reasonable to assume the movements of all maintenance crew members are known," The Commodore stated.
"I would say we all keep tabs of where each of us is at. If that is what you are asking, Ma'am," a pony said while getting up to put away some empty trays.
"Good, then the next question should be very simple. Who broke into Captain Robertson's cabin sometime in the last couple of weeks?" the Commodore said in a serious tone.
The whole Mess Hall fell silent. Every head turned towards the Commodore.
"That's heavy stuff, Mum. I can't say I know of anyone who would have the time or motive to do such a thing," the pony in the eyepatch said.
"What is your name, Cyclops? I am not exactly thrilled with your answer," The Commodore shouted.
"The name is Jenkins, Ma'am. I really don't know if anyone here could do anything along the lines of breaking into the Captain's Cabin. That door is five inch thick steel! Even with the most powerful tools aboard, it wold take a good half-hour to break through and twice that to clean up the mess! Perhaps you should know what in the hay your are talking about before you go off accusing those who have been sailing on the K.S. Pride longer than you have been alive!" Jenkins shouted back.
"Your aggressive attitude has been noted, Jenkins! I want everyone in here to think long and hard about who is to blame for the missing orders from the Captain's Cabin. The guilty party is probably responsible for the interior explosion that has been giving y'all filthy gear-heads headaches as of late," The Commodore announced.
If looks could kill, then the Commodore would be dead three minutes ago. If there was a single pony who had even the slightest knowledge of who the saboteur might be; he or she wouldn't tell the Commodore a lick of it. The harsh blare of the shift clock broke the tension of the room. The disgruntled sailors filed out of the Mess Hall while cursing at the Commodore under their breaths.
Commodore Hooves was alone at a table with the last muffin. For once, she wasn't hungry.
The Remarkably Short, Yet No Less Interesting Career of Commodore Derpy Hooves of The Equestrian Nuclear Submarine Fleet
Chapter 12: More Than Capable
Chapter 12: More Than Capable
"Commodore Hooves to the Command Room. Commodore Hooves to the Command Room," the intercom said breaking the silence of the Mess Hall.
The Commodore walked out of the the deserted room and entered the metal-grated hallway. It was not completely vacant, in fact the hall had several members of the security team hurrying down it. Commodore Hooves tried to see what the rush was but by the time she opened her mouth the guards had already passed her by.
Commodore Hooves rounded a corner and saw a group of the maintenance crew trotting in the same direction as the security team. This time the Commodore managed to flag down a certain one-eyed mechanic.
"What do you want now?" Jenkins said.
"I want to know why there is such an unscheduled rush of personal on my vessel. Can you tell me what has gotten everypony so spooked?" the Commodore inquired.
"I believe you are wanted in the Command Room, Ma'ma. I think the Captain could explain what is going on better than a filthy gear-head could," Jenkins replied.
"Look, I am sorry some harsh words were exchanged in the Mess Hall. Those remarks were out of line and I made them in anger about not getting the results I came for. Its been a long day or days because at this point I am not even sure how long I have been at it. I would appreciate if you could explain what is going on in terms your daft Commodore could understand," Commodore Hooves explained.
"I forgive your comments, Ma'am. We all say things we probably shouldn't have. I don't know much about the current situation except that one of the reactor coolant pipes is malfunctioning," Jenkins said.
"Commodore Hooves to the Command Room Immediately. Captain Robertson urgently requests the presence of Commodore Hooves in the Command Room immediately," the intercom blared.
The Commodore started towards the Command Room while slowly picking up pace. The Command Room door opened and to everyone's surprise the Commodore walked in. The Commodore was confused about the shocked reactions from the crew members but it soon became clear enough to her. On the balcony overlooking the control room Captain Robertson was talking to another Commodore Hooves.
The Commodore was beside herself for a moment and who could blame her? It is not everyday you get to see yourself in third-person. The Commodore began to sweat nervously and started to twitch a little. Her face scrunched up and could only be described as a face of pure constipation. It wasn't the Commodore's bowels that were troubling her but instead it was her mind. Commodore Hooves once listened to a radio program about a species of aliens coming down to earth and taking over the bodies of ponies. What if she was really inside a spacecraft? What if she is already dead and is now a ghost? What if she was never even the real Commodore Hooves to begin with?
Frightened, the Commodore reached for her sidearm but it was still in her coat. The coat that the other Commodore Hooves was wearing! The members of the crew still were in a shocked silence but a few of the engineers towards the back of the room started to reach for blunt objects.
"Captain! Captain! We have an imposter in the control room! I don't know what to make of it, Sir!" a frightened crew member shouted up to the Captain.
"That is good. It is as I expected boys! We have ourselves a changeling," The Captain Hollered while looking mighty pleased with himself.
"Don't worry Robertson, I'll make short work of this," The Commodore Hooves with the coat said as she pulled out the sidearm.
The Captain said nothing but pulled the gun out of the Commodore with the coat's hands and pushed her off the balcony railing. The recently repaired monitor which bore the blunt of the Commodore's earlier fall was once again flattened against the body of a Commodore.
"Members of the crew do not interfere or the you will be brought before Celestia herself for treason. Commodores! I want a fair fight to resolve the confusion on my ship about who the Commodore is. So if the real Commodore Hooves could please beat the other one senseless then I would be most obliged," The Captain proclaimed in his best wrestling announcer voice.
The Commodore in the coat wasted no time in getting on her feet and reached for a shard of glass that was sticking out of the monitor. Commodore Hooves realized her earlier superstitions were rubbish since she very well knew that a fall from the balcony is not something one can walk away from. The fake Commodore (Commodore Hooves decided it was not time for philosophical debates on the subjectivity of what is real and fake) was intent on ending the scuffle swiftly and flew overhead to stab the real Commodore. Thanks to some quick thinking and careful execution, the real Commodore threw herself into a steel support pole accidentally. The fake Commodore couldn't quite strike the real Commodore now that a pole was in the way. Commodore Hooves crawled underneath a navigational desk and reached onto the tabletop for an object to defend herself. She grasped onto something and pulled it down with her. The real Commodore's efforts yielded her a humble ruler.
The fake Commodore dragged the real Commodore out from underneath the table. Commodore Hooves quickly swatted the ruler into the fake Commodore's face. Unfortunately, the Equestrian Navy is rather cheap when it comes to twelve inch rulers. The ruler snapped into two with the same force of a filly gingerly bopping you in the snout. The fake Commodore pinned Commodore Hooves down and started to whale on her before the fake Commodore was gripped around the neck and tossed aside.
"Crewman Jenkins! I saw that and so help me I will grind your head against the lavatory floor until I can see me reflection! Stand aside lad, it is important that I find out who the real Commodore Hooves is," the Captain ordered.
"But sir! I swear that she is the real Commodore Hooves. I saw her earlier today with me own ey's," Jenkins shouted.
"Then why did you throw her aside then?" Captain Robertson asked.
"Captain, I hope you don't whip my hide for this but you're is thick as a cold morning fog. The Commodore cowering under the table is the real one. My lads can attest to seeing her without her coat this morning in the Mess. Also isn't her pitiful defense proof enough of her inexperience in the service?" Jenkins answered.
"If I may interject, I am not cowering I am in a tactical retreat! I was doing fine before Jenkins joined in. A gesture which I am grateful for but not in need of," Commodore Hooves said as she popped her head out from under the table she crawled back under.
"That sounds like the Commodore alright. Crewmen, restrain the second Commodore!" The Captain ordered.
The sailors tied the fake Commodore to the steel pole and helped Commodore Hooves to her hooves. The Captain walked down to the lower level and looked the imposter straight in the eyes.
"Next few minutes of your life can be very painful or somewhat pleasant by comparison. All you need to do answer some simple questions. Can you show me your true form?" The Captain said to the fake Commodore.
The fake Commodore quickly flashed into a changeling drone. It snarled dismissively at the captain and looked down to the side.
"Good, now where are you from?" The Captain inquired.
"Awshü-itvu shiqest liva peia," the drone answered.
"What kind of country is Awshü-itvu shiqest liva peia? Do they speak the Princess's English over there?" The Captain frustratedly asked.
"I am sorry Captain. It was my impression that you new the phrase 'I hail the UFFE' in Chrysalish. Your ignorance on my kind has been noted and I will speak in your inferior tongues," the drone scorned.
"I see. You are going to have to tune down that superiority complex before I start to paint the floors green or whatever color you bleed in. I find it funny that a self-respecting gentlecolt like yourself would be kicking around the UFFE. Don't you know that the UFFE is a whole continent away from your Queen?" the Captain stated.
"Despite whatever form I may take all changelings are essentially asexual. Please address me as an it or better yet, Buzrial since that is my given name. If you are wondering why I am away from my queen then you have never seen the cruelties the UFFE impose on my people. Whatever flag flies above you pony folk matters not. In essence you are all the same, expansionist pigs that are forcing your government on the last free tribes in Equestria!" Buzrial said.
"Your Queen offers you nothing but slavery and blinds you from reality. All I hear out of your mouth is words but not answers. Why are you on my submarine?" Captain Robertson asked.
"It is not my choice. The destruction of your vessel is the bounty for my freedom. I implore you to let me finish the job or end my suffering. The thought of being banished from my hive any longer is more painful than any torture you could muster, Captain," Buzrial cried.
"Then I guess that will be your punishment. Get real comfortable on that pole, Buzrial. You won't be leaving it until we get to port," Captain Robertson snickered.
"There is an alternative plan in place, Captain. My capture does not guarantee your safe passage!" Buzrial shouted.
"I think you will find that we are more than Capable, Buzrial," The Captain said.
The Remarkably Short, Yet No Less Interesting Career of Commodore Derpy Hooves of The Equestrian Nuclear Submarine Fleet
Chapter 13: Stars Above And Doctors Below
"Captain are you sure that pole is the best place for the prisoner? There is a lot of sensitive information that flows directly to this room and is in clear view," Commodore Hooves said while she pulled Captain Robertson aside.
"Hooves, if there was anything that ol' Buzz over there wanted to know he would have found out already. Besides I don't want take me eyes off this catch. It has a certain look in its eyes that gives me a bad feeling in my gut," Captain Robertson replied.
"Alright then, so what now?" Commodore Hooves asked.
"Isn't that the question? Well we aren't going anywhere fast because of the state our engines are in. We have the saboteur. We still don't know where the Valiant or Bravery are and the precise location of the Pride is unknown. You can bet we are still in unfriendly waters and beyond help of the Equestrian Navy," Captain Robertson explained.
Commodore Hooves walked over to the Navigation Table and pulled out some maps along with various tools. The Commodore began to make errant scriblings and became frustrated when the lines she drew didn't match up the way she wanted them to. Captain Robertson looked over the work of Commodore Hooves and suddenly got an idea. The Captain rushed out of the room to the confusion of the Commodore.
"What's the Captain doing?" The Commodore asked no one in particular with a tone of annoyance.
"Sometimes the Captain gets these bright ideas that he has no time to explain to anyone. I would say it would be best just to let him go, Ma'ma," Jenkins said to the Commodore.
The Commodore stopped scribbling on the nautical charts and turned around to face Reggie.
"I don't mean to sound rude Crewman Jenkins but why are you not at your post? I know you may feel some attachment to the current situation because of your part in solving our little identity fiasco but the K.S. Pride needs you to be on duty with the rest of the Maintenance Crew," the Commodore said.
"I understand I just thought that you might have needed assistance," Jenkins said.
"What do you mean?" the Commodore asked.
"Its just that you have had a hard day and look pretty beaten up. Your hoof was trembling when you where plotting and I thought it would just be a nice gesture to see if you where alright," Jenkins told the Commodore plainly.
"Thanks for your concern Jenkins. I am glad I warrent it after what happened in the Mess Hall. As much as I would want to have another friendly face in the Command Room, I must ask you to return to your post," the Commodore said while she turned back to the charts in front of her.
"Yes Ma'ma! Also as I said before it is all water under the bridge now," Jenkins replied with a salute and walked out of the Command Room.
The Commodore returned her focus to the maps and tried to figure out where exactly the K.S. Pride was. After much figuring, the Commodore could only narrow down the possible location within a quadrant. Just as Commodore Hooves was about to throw down her pencil the Captain rushed back into the Command Room with an old looking tool.
"It's my old, antique sextant! If I could just have a minute with the night sky above then I could make short work of our navigation woes. Sailors used to sail all around the world using nothing but the stars! Dash these new computers and their flimsy data because we have something as reliable as the stars themselves!" The Captain said giddily.
"As promising as that sounds Captain it is quite impossible. We can't surface at a time like this! We could risk being found in enemy waters," the Commodore said.
"It is a risk we will have to take then! Your current scribblings are getting us nowhere. If you want to be a Commodore in this navy then you will have to learn to tolerate the occasional risk, Bubbles," the Captain retorted.
"I did that once and I got explosion for my trouble," the Commodore sighed.
"What happened with the explosion was unavoidable even if you would have tried to out maneuver the fake torpedo. So will you please give the order?" Captain Robertson asked.
"Sure, when there are stars for you see! We still have a few hours before nightfall so I see no reason for surfacing now." Commodore Hooves said while looking at the clock.
The door to the Command Room opened without urgency while an older colt in scrubs walked in. He crossed the command room slowly with clipboard in hand and stopped in front of the Captain.
"Captain, when you have the time there is a duty to be preformed," the Colt said.
"This isn't about Hector is it, Drips?" The Captain replied with deep concern.
"I am afraid it is. The nurse went to check on him an hour ago but Hector gave up the fight a little before then. I am very sorry, Robertson. I know you where intensely involved in his recovery but you can take comfort in the fact that he slipped away painlessly." Drips explained.
"The death of a young crewman is always a tragedy but this was his very first voyage. Hector shouldn't have died from such a simple accident. I remember when he came up to me saying that he wanted to be under my Command. Hector hadn't quite finished his basic training yet but remembered the stories his father told him about me. I had to pull a few strings but I got him on the K.S. Pride just in time for this voyage," Captain Robertson said before trailing off and tearing up.
"Commodore, I think it would be best that you would come along as well. I think it might bring comfort to everyone that knew him if we had a flag officer in attendance of Hector's service," Drips said.
"I would be honored Dr...uh," The Commodore said before she realized she didn't know the doctor's name.
"Dr. Slow Drip, Chief Medical Officer aboard the K.S. Pride," Drips said without offense.
The Remarkably Short, Yet No Less Interesting Career of Commodore Derpy Hooves of The Equestrian Nuclear Submarine Fleet
In the recorded history of the Equestrian Navy there have been few funeral services aboard a submarine. Thanks to the short, clandestine, and high risk nature of the missions, there were hardly any occasions were a funeral service was deemed appropriate to conduct. Captain Robertson was not going to let tradition get in the way of his farewell to his most favorite crewman. Even before Hector dipped into a coma the Captain made it known to Dr. Slow Drips that Hector would receive full honors immediately if any harm were to fall upon him.
The Commodore was taken by surprise when she was asked to say a few good words about a crewman that until recently she knew nothing about. Actually, Commodore Hooves was surprised that the service was being held at all. The whole event was taking place in the Mess Hall with the tables pushed aside to make room for the casket and vacant areas for sailors to stand. Commodore Hooves would have liked to say no to the service and be done with it. It is not like the K.S. Pride is in friendly waters and under full control after all! The Commodore was only compelled by the tears of the Captain.
A bell was rung and crewmen started to file inside the Mess Hall. Some of them are still visibly shaken by the recent expulsion and uncertainty. Except for a few members of the Maintenance Crew, the majority of sailors were unaffected (at least on a personal level) by the loss of Hector. Hector was a low ranking reactor technician that was still learning the ins and outs of nuclear propulsion.
"Wasn't that guy a loner? I hardly saw him outside of duty," a techinican whispered.
"Yeah, he was a real clutz too. Almost had to decontaminate the whole reactor level when he knocked over a spent rod of uranium," another technician commented in a hushed tone.
The murmurs of the gathering crowd where silenced when the Captain walked up to the podium. He glanced back to the closed casket and once more at the Commodore before speaking.
"Now I have gathered you here to pay tribute to a fine sailor. Hector was too young, too inexperienced for the life aboard the Pride. This is a fact that I didn't see a few months ago when I decided to enlist him on our ill-fated journey. His death is the result of my foolishness and it is a burden I must bear for the rest of my days," Captain Robertson said while holding back tears.
"Not all of you may know him and I am sure even fewer liked him. Several times have complaints been placed on my desk detailing Hector's displays of incompetence, only to be tossed aside. Do not remember Hector as the 'bumbling misfit' which is how one of the reports so eloquently named him. Instead, remember Hector as a young sailor trying his best to serve with the finest Celestia has to offer. I sure his father would be proud of his efforts. You may know Hector's father, his name was Admiral Riptide," the Captain stated to the astonishment of the crowd.
"Perhaps we can all take comfort that they are both in a better place. Walk away from today knowing that it doesn't matter if we are struck down in an epic battle told to prosperity or happen to be taken by an unfortunate accident; death will find come for us all in he end. What matters is what you do with yourself until then," the Captain said with a straight face as he walked back to his seat.
The Captain's speech was met with heavy applause and he Commodore felt that her two line comment will be horribly brief. Fate does provide a few happy accidents sometimes. In fact, the Commodore might have saved the crew of the Pride because of a clumsy move of her own.
Commodore Hooves bumped the side of the casket. The wooden box fell with a large thump and the whole room was shocked to see that Hector's casket was quite unoccupied.
The Remarkably Short, Yet No Less Interesting Career of Commodore Derpy Hooves of The Equestrian Nuclear Submarine Fleet
Chapter 15: History
Captain Robertson was at a loss for words. That doesn't mean he didn't say anything it just means that the assortment of throat noises, grumbles, and curses were not coherent speech. The eyes of all of the sailors fell upon Dr. Slow Drip who was elected to be the mortician.
"Now Captain I could swear on my dear granny's grave that Hector's body was in that casket," Dr. Slow Drip said to the Captain.
Captain Robertson pulled the Doctor aside and whispered, "For your sake, I hope this was carried out by an interloper."
"Interloper, Sir?" Dr. Slow Drip asked.
"Yes, the Commodore and I have intelligence that there could be a second agent on board. The changeling said that there were contingencies in place if he (or whatever that thing is) failed," the Captain informed Dr. Slow Drip.
"What do you possibly think the body of Hector Riptide has to do with the destruction of the Pride?" Dr. Slow Drip asked.
"I don't know, Drips! Maybe they are trying to get to me. If that's the case then the interloper has succeeded," the Captain responded.
The Mess Hall grew louder with the uneasiness of the crew. The Commodore inspected the casket thoroughly but she found nothing out of the ordinary (besides the obvious lack of a body). Commodore Hooves at first thought that the whole thing was a horrible mix-up but in light of recent events she thought that this could hardly be a coincidence. Noticing the escalation of the crew, Commodore Hooves walked over to the podium and appealed for calm.
"Silence, I will have order! These are trying times for us all. I am sure there is an explanation behind this debacle. Until we get to the bottom of this I want everyone to report for duty as if nothing happened...dismissed," the Commodore ordered.
The Mess Hall cleared out swiftly and the Commodore rushed over to the Captain and the Doctor.
"Captain at this point I am open to suggestions," Commodore Hooves stated.
"Is that so Bubbles? The good Doctor and I actually were actually interested to hear any theories you might like to volunteer," Captain Robertson said.
"I might just have one but you may not like its implications. Doctor, when was the last time you saw the body in the casket?" Commodore Hooves asked Dr. Slow Drip.
"Let's see, I would say approximately twenty minutes before the casket was brought in. I did one final check and I closed the lid. After that no one saw what was on the inside until you bumped into the casket," Dr. Slow Drip responded.
"Ok. Captain, I think that would be more than enough time for Hector to climb out," Commodore Hooves theorized.
"This is no time for jokes in poor taste Bubbles! I have had to made some leaps in thinking with the systems failure, hypnosis, and that blasted changeling but when we talk about dead crewmen coming back from the grave that is when I draw the line!" Captain Robertson exclaimed.
"Perhaps he was never dead," the Commodore stated.
Dr. Slow Drip interjected, "Impossible! I declared him dead myself! There is no way in my professional opinion that Hector was alive twenty minutes before his own funeral."
"Captain, we already have one changeling aboard. Is it conceivable that another could be at work and behind this strange turn of events?" Commodore Hooves suggested.
"Aye. Perhaps it wasn't Hector that the Doctor declared dead, but Is that even possible?" Captain Robertson said.
"Although little is known about the physiology of changelings, their bodily function are drastically different from that of higher equines such as ourselves. It is probable that either I did not pick up on the vital signs of a changeling or the changeling entered into a brief period of hibernation," Dr. Slow Drip said.
"Great, we may have a working theory but where does that leave us now?" Commodore Hooves asked.
"We can certainly have a heightened alert state and try to do a sweep of the submarine," Captain Robertson replied.
"I am not sure we can go to a higher alert than 'be-afraid-of-your-own-shadow' but a general warning to be on he look out for suspicious behavior would be in order," the Commodore said.
"If I may ask," Dr. Slow Drip inquired, "the changeling we have restrained could prove to be an extraordinary specimen to study. It is certainly a rare occasion when a living changeling can be studied so closely. My research could also prove valuable to solving our current predicament."
"Go knock yourself out Drips. I want you to make sure you have an armed guard with you during your proceedings. We don't need to have two changelings causing chaos," Captain Robertson replied.
The Doctor ran off visibly excited about being granted permission to poke and prod at a creature that has avoided much needed study for so long. The Captain and the Commodore followed the doctor out shortly afterward. The Commodore and the Captain went on a leisurely walk back to the Command Room. They both where unsure of what exactly to do next but decided that there was no use in staying in that stuffy Mess Hall.
"Robertson, do you think the real Hector is alive?" The Commodore asked.
"Hooves, I am starting to think that the Hector that stepped aboard was never the real Hector," the Captain replied.
"You were close to this Hector for along time?" the Commodore inquired.
"Aye. He is like a son to me. A very distant son that only visits on the holidays but a son regardless," Captain Robertson responded.
"Why have I not heard out him until now then?" The Commodore curiously asked.
"Hooves, I gave him his space. I didn't want him to get any grief over being the Captain's pet project. We did talk occasionally, mostly about his father. Admiral Riptide was the title given to the stallion I knew as Swift Riptide. I am sure they still teach you about him in school right?" Captain Robertson reminisced.
"The topic of the Second Battle of Tompkins Gulf is required reading. The Equestrian Navy just barely pulled together. Admiral Riptide commanded the the attack during the final push and in exchange for victory the Admiral gave his life. I guess I can see how his son might have been stuck in his father's shadow," the Commodore stated.
"If I am correct at guessing then we should be near if not already in the Gulf of Tompkins. Just a few hours before nightfall. You should get some rest. I think we will have plenty of answers when we surface," the Captain replied.
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The Remarkably Short, Yet No Less Interesting Career of Commodore Derpy Hooves of The Equestrian Nuclear Submarine Fleet
Chapter 6: An Ultimatum In Thirty Seconds, Ma'am
"What do you suggest we do then Captain Robertson?" Commodore Hooves inquired.
"The best we can bubbles. I would say that we look in to the matter of the missing orders. Of course it would also be helpful to know if any of the instruments are reliable or can be fixed. Perhaps we should look for inconsistencies in the data. If there are truly two unknown submarines in front of us then they probably wouldn't be heading away from us or maintaining the same distance," Captain Robertson said.
"What makes you say that?" the Commodore interjected.
"Well if they where the K.S. Valiant and K.S. Bravery then they would fall back and keep speed with the Pride. Likewise, two UFFE submarines would approach us as well since we are trespassing on their waters. Also before you think that it is feasible for a ship to remain the exact same distance away I would like you to consider that the unknown ship would have to find our exact speed and direction. It would take some fine maneuvering for a tactically unfruitful move," the Captain responded.
There was a quick shuffle from the lower level of the Command Room. Soon there where officers and engineers crowding around the sonar screen. A low level of chatter rose to an audible tone of confusion. The Chief Engineer who lectured the Commodore about the difference between sonar and radar came out of the crowd. The colt made a quick journey up the stairs to the Captain's Station.
"Sir, the two unknown vessels have suddenly moved toward the K.S. Pride at an alarming speed. It is unlike anything I have seen. There is no possible way that any ship could cover any distance in an instant," the Chief Engineer reported.
"So that solves it then. The objects are a glitch and the sonar is therefore unreliable. Brilliant work Captain! The answer just fell right into our laps," The Commodore commented.
"No, that would be too convenient. Nothing out on the seas could be explained away just like that!" Captain Robertson argued.
"Are you doubting your own methods?" the Commodore said in confusion to the Captain.
"No I just don't like the feeling in my gut about the whole thing. Something just doesn't add up and I can't put my hoof on it. Besides, it would be best to be cautious since we don't know for sure if the submarines are the missing Bravery and Valiant," the Captain explained.
"You are being idiotic! The good old engineer over here said that such a move would be impossible. I propose that the sonar is shut down pending repair. The K.S. Pride should spend its energy on finding the sealed orders and inspecting the Navigational System. If we truly are not moving then we should find out what is wrong with the Propulsion System. Chief Engineer whatever your name is, if you would kindly pass along these orders and shut off the sonar I would be much obliged," Commodore Hooves directed.
"Hold on there Hooves! I believe you have forgotten who is really in charge here. Reginald here our beloved engineer isn't always one hundred percent on things. He sees the whole thing as a probability of ninety nine percent and rounds up. I have been on these seas long enough to smell a rotten fish where there is one. The UFFE could have staged a trap for us in order to show off a new unknown technology they have implemented onto their new submarines," the Captain proposed.
"I will not waste the Pride's valuable resources on your paranoid delusions. The Chief Engineer who incidentally is named Reginald will honor the chain of command and act as directed. I would love for you to make running this submarine easy for once old man!" Commodore Hooves argued while mildly
It seemed as if the Captain was about to give up on his lost cause when he noticed something on his control console. It was a flashing orange light that started to blink rapidly. Usually flashing colored lights where not the best thing to have on any control panel. The Captain walked over to the station in order to get a better look at it. He froze up and didn't say a thing. The lower level of the Command Room immediately broke into an uproar followed by the all too familiar shuffling of chairs and headphones. The Commodore walked up beside him just as the overhead red warning lights began to flash. Over the sound blaring siren the Commodore tried hard to speak at an audible level.
"What is going on Captain?" The Commodore shouted.
"I want you to think really hard about what you really believe is happening on the outside. If you are right then there is nothing to be concerned about. The alarm is just a simple fault or perhaps a distraction for the possible saboteur that stole the sealed orders. If I am right though, then there is a torpedo hurling its way towards the K.S. Pride that will make impact in about thirty seconds. Either way I hope you are ready for an ultimatum because the answer to our questions is coming to us, perhaps with a bang," the Captain replied.
