Opposite Day In Ponyville

And so you were, walking down the road with your hands in your pockets, feeling breddy bad. Maybe the friends you thought you had, weren't exactly the friends you though them to be. I mean yeah, you are a monstrous and strange lifeform to them, and appairently very ugly, and a bit of a loser, but if anyone else was called that as well, it was Fluttershy.

You notice some of the pony folk in town and decide to greet them good morning. There's Mayor Mare!

"Morning Mayor Mare!" you happily pip at her.

"GET OUT OF MY WAY ASSHOLE!" She screeches at you as she splashes mud on your favourite suit. Ahh... good ol' Mayor Mare, never changes.

Oh, there's the Mailmare delivering the morning mail...in her mouth....again.

"Morning Derpy!" You happily exclaim to the ditzy pegasus. Derpy suddenly stops in midair and slowly turns her head to you. Her normally derped wall eye was replaced with a piece of notebook paper.

"Hi Ugly. You are very ugly. I don't think about you at night in a bubbly bath" She said slowly before she flew away.

Well, okay, that was interesting. You decide to continue onward, there's the three little fillies that you've come to know and love as little sisters ever since you've gotten here.

"Hey you three, aren't you going to say morning to your Uncle Anon?"

The three fillies stopped and quickly huddled together. and began whispering to each other. You stop for a moment and ponder what the mischevious little things were up to, before you are blasted back a bit with the sound of "CUTIE MARK HOLIDAY EXPERTS YAY!"

"Oh, so you found another way to get your Cutie Marks, huh girls?"

"Yeah!" Applebloom said as she and Scootaloo slowly walked behind you.

"It's a super duper plan! We'll get it for sure" Scootaloo said, as she laid down behind you.

"Well, when you get it, I'll be sure to take a picture ASAP, so we can remember the moment together." You say, beaming with a little bit of paternal pride, even though they ain't cho keeds mang.

"Yeah, UNCLE Anon... that would be SO great because we LOVE you and all." Sweetie Belle stated as she trotted to you slowly.

"Aww, you have no idea how much I needed that today girls." You say happily, at least these three youngins still loved you as their friend.

"Yeah, but not as much y'all needed THIS!" Applebloom kicked your left leg as Sweetie Belle pushed your right one. You began to fall slightly, as Scootaloo stood up and pressed her side against your side, causing you to tumble backwards into a mudpile.

The three little fillies all gathered around you, and began laughing while pointing.

"LOSER LOSER, HA HA HA HA HA HA!"

"Girls....why?" You ask, tearing up slightly, your favourite suit now completely ruined.

"Gosh Uncle Anon, I thought you knew how much we HATED you!" Sweetie Belle said giggling intensily.

"Yeah, or how much of a LOSER we thought you were." Scootaloo said as she pulled out your Cutie Mark cape that you all made together in their clubhouse.

"Not my cape girls....please..." You began tearing up.

"No one who THIS lame deserves to be a member of ta Cutie Mark Crusaders!" Applebloom said as she grabbed one corner in her mouth and began tearing it, Sweetie and Scoots grabbing other corners and pulling them as well.

You sat there, covered in mud as the three little fillies ripped up your symbol of friendship in front of you. You couldnt take it anymore, you got up and began crying as you ran to Fluttershy's cottage.

"Yeah, you better run, you big....smelly...DUMMY!" Sweetie Belle squeaked at you as you ran off.

"Oh man, we'll definately get our Cutie Marks now! I dont think we could've been MORE opposite than what we were!" Scootaloo said happily, examining her flank excitedly.

"Ah know, but did we REALLY have to tear up Anon's Cutie Mark Crusader cape? Couldn't we, ya know, used a fake one?" Applebloom inquired, looking sadly at the torn bits of their cape in the mudpile.

"It wouldn't have worked then Applebloom, we had to be COMPLETELY 100% opposite, or it wouldn't work." Sweetie Belle explained.

"Well, couldn't ya know, maybe not try to get our Cutie Mark today?" Applebloom retorted.

"What do you mean Applebloom, we're the Cutie Mark Crusaders! It's our quest for Cutie Marks!" Scootaloo responded.

"Yeah, but its opposite day, so if we DIDN'T try for our Cutie Marks, maybe we would've." Applebloom served back to Scootaloo.

"That's dumb Applebloom, if we didn't try to get our Cutie Marks, how could we get our Cutie Marks in Holiday Expertise?" Sweetie Belle said shoving her flank to Applebloom's face.

"That's just it, Ah think we ain't getting our Cutie Marks in ANYTHING, if we try to get our Cutie Marks in SOMETHING."

This continued for 8 hours onward.

You finally ran out of breath as you stopped for a second on the dirt path leading to Fluttershy's cottage. God, what is wrong with every horsey today? You didn't even say 2 words this morning, and you got this horrible mess of an incident on your head. You remember your remembering of the morning, just like it was this morning.

"Pinkie... you up?"

OH NO! THAT WAS THREE WORDS! NOT TWO BUT THREE! You suddenly sense someone coming,

"Oh no, someones coming, gotta act natural..."

You quickly take off your clothes and pose naked, flexing your one arm and extending the other in a powerful pose.

Suddenly a mint green pony and a candy striped pony walk past you and stare at your weiner.

The mint green one laughs and points at your member. "Gross, its all naked and shit!"

The candy striped one spoke in a cool new yorker accent that was gravely and mannish.

"I dunno, as sure as my heterosexuality, I think that is fine. I sure am happy and not grumpy today."

The mint green pony tugged at it slightly as you tried your best not to move.

"Hello wittle wiene. Whose a ugly peepee? You are! Yes you are!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" You quickly run off down the road completely buck naked to Fluttershy's cottage.

Lyra looked on and sighed.

"God, I want to fuck him so bad."

Bon bon sighed and shrugged her hooves. "Meh." she stated, as they went on their way.