Author's Note

Well I'm back for round 2 people/ponies and have some more pain for your brain errr.... I mean a new chapter for your enjoyment. First I would like to set the record straight with a few things before I begin. 1 Equestria Girls never happened obviously because otherwise it would just complicate it. 2 Lyra's obsession wasn't known to Twilight because she never really interacted with Lyra that much if at all. Sorry it took so long but I had finales to do but I now have my AA college degree!!!!!!! :D

Me

"It worked? It actually worked!" Lyra exclaimed rather ecstatically. Knocked out and lying face down on the floor was none other than a real genuine human. Lyra couldn't help but squee loudly and jump all around the room with such reckless abandon that could rival Pinkie Pie herself. "Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! I can't believe that a real live human is lying right in front of me!" "SQUEE!" Seeing Lyra bounce off the walls with a huge smile plastered to her face, Pinkie Pie could not help but join in.

"Oh my gosh your right! I need to throw you a 'We're sorry' party and the human a 'Welcome to Equestria' party!" The human in question was still unconscious and whatever clothing it had was now burnt strips of linen barely covering it's nether regions and left it's upper half bare. About a couple meters away sat a funny looking saddle bag that looked rather unharmed. Ignoring the two bouncing mares for now Twilight made her way over to this saddle bag and started to rummage around in it with her magic. The first thing that she pulled out was some sort of grayish tablet looking thing with the word 'acer' on the center of it. Not knowing what it does or what to do with it, Twilight put it to the side. There were a couple of other items just as alien as the 'acer' stone, eventually Twilight did find something she recognized, she too 'SQUEED' at her finding.

It was a book, that much was clear from the recognizable pages and smell of paper. The book had no hard cover, the front had an illustration of some fancy looking suit and tie, something akin to what Rarity would make. The book as titled read 'Fifty Shades of Grey'. "Ooh just think I can't wait to find out what I can learn from reading this book! It's going to be so exciting!" Twilight said while trying to get into the book while trotting away. As soon as she opened the cover another voice pulled her back into reality.

"What are we gonna do with this here human?" Applejack inquired to the group while pointing a hoof down to their unconscious visitor. This got a collective sigh from everypony as they thought of what to do. Rainbow Dash was the first to speak up, the arrogance is strong with this one.

"Well whatever we do, we can't let her out of our sight or else she might cause a panic." Lyra stopped bouncing midair, falling to the ground with a heavy thud and turned to correct Rainbow Dash.

"Actually Rainbow Dash this human is a male."

"No it's a female, I'll admit that it kinda does look like a male." The cyan Pegasus retorted with a look of irritation. Lyra gritted her teeth and closed the gap between Rainbow and her, staring right in her pupils before responding.

"No your wrong! Look at it's body frame. It's too blocky in most area to be a female human and I should know!"

"Oh yeah!" Rainbow argued back. Switching her gaze from Lyra to the human she flew over to it and rolled it onto it's back. Then with pointed to it's upper chest with a hoof, "If this human is a 'male' then why does he have teets?!?" The human did indeed have teets, everypony couldn't help but stare at them as Rainbow victoriously smirked. However when Lyra looked at them she burst out laughing and giggling, confusing everypony but Pinkie who joined in on the laughter.

"Silly filly! All humans both male and female have teets." Lyra continued to giggle a bit as they all had a look of shock upon their facial features.

"That's a good one Lyra but there's just no way that guys can have teets!" Rainbow tried to deny but Lyra just rolled her eyes.

"Well then why don't you prove it if you're so sure Rainbow Dash?" Lyra goaded while smiling the biggest shit eating grin of all time.

"Fine I will!" Rainbow all but yelled at the top of her lungs, while lunging towards the human once again. What was left of the linen went flying through the air with great speed, now uncovering it's closely guarded treasure. Everypony blushed as Dash came face to groin with something that she said wouldn't be there. The human can now be called without a shadow of a doubt male. "Eaaaaahhhh!" Dash screamed and backpedaled away with a face so red even Bag Mac would be jealous.

"My my my Dashie. He's only been here for five minutes and your already trying to get in his pants." The purple haired seamstress teased.

"Well technically she was getting him out of his pants." The lavender alicorn corrected. Applejack just gave her a flat look like she had just made the worst pun ever.

"Your not helping Twi. We should probably move the little feller before he wakes up. I don't know about y'all but he's in for a mighty surprise when he.......... what's everypony doin?" Everypony besides Applejack and Rainbow dash were huddled around the sleeping human, ogling at his privates.

"It's so small. How does anypony even feel that?" Twilight asked.

"Humans have no sheaths Twilight, they still get bigger when aroused so don't worry." Lyra happy answered.

"It's so uncouth for a lady to stare but I just can't look away." Rarity commented.

"I know, it's a big discovery and must be documented!" Twilight all but yelled while gathering her ink, quill and parchments in her magic grip. With a reckless fever the Alicorn wrote page after page of information about what was in front of her until she needed to continue to the next phase. "I need more data, Applejack can you please touch it for me?"

"I aint gonna touch it! Rainbow you touch it." Applejack said while pointing a hoof to Dash.

"Me?! I'm not going to touch it either! Pinkie you touch it." Rainbow deflected to Pinkie Pie.

"Okie Dokie Lokie!" BOOP "Hee hee hee it feels so soft!" BOOP BOOP "Come on girls you got to try this!" Lyra's ears perked up at this.

"Okay." BOOP

"Lyra! You should know better than to poke somepony's genitals, especially somepony you don't know!" Bon Bon all but yelled at her roommate with a voice that could rival the Royal Canterlot Voice.

"Well she offered and I've always wanted to do that." The mint unicorn chided with a pout. BOOP

"No not you too Princess Twilight!" Bon Bon exclaimed with a horrid face. BOOP

"You are right Darling it is soft and squishy." Rarity commented while copping a feel herself. Since Twilight herself had touched the human the rest of her friends followed suit and did the same. Even Rainbow Dash and Applejack chanced a touch or two. Then all eyes turned to Bon Bon as she stood there petrified because of what just happened. Her ears flayed back and her gut sank as the others smiled deviously at her.

"It's your turn now sugar cube." Applejack said with a big ole evil grin. Bon Bon tried to backpedal away but Twilight's magic stopped her.

"We all would feel bad if you were left out of this learning experience." The princess said with her own patented Twily smirk. The others pitched in their two bits as well trying to get the stubborn earth mare to take a feel, except Fluttershy. Bon Bon was flushed with embarrassment and it showed on her face as she tried to get out of this situation.

"But .but ..but.. I don't feel at all comfortable about touching that things..." Bon Bon tried to explain before she was interrupted by Lyra

"Oh come on Bon Bon, just join the herd and touch it!" Lyra peer pressured Bon Bon until she sighed in defeat. Reluctantly she inched forward to what needed to be touched. Extending a hoof outward closing in on her target slowly but surely until. BOOP Bon Bon let go of the breath she didn't know she was holding and looked to the others. They smiled even larger indicating that they knew something she did not.

'Why is everypony smiling like they won the lottery? I don't feel anything soft but rather hard....' Bon Bon thought before turning her gaze back downward and saw what she was touching was now hard, very hard. Flustered and embarrassed Bon Bon quickly removes her hoof and backpedals away with a massive blush upon her facial features. Now normally a few of them would laugh at Bon Bon's reaction but Lyra and the mane 6 were too busy admiring human cock. It was like it had some sort of power that made anypony who looked at it unable to look away.

"Look! The tip looks like a mushroom! I wonder if it tastes like one." Pinkie wondered before taking a hearty swipe across it with her tongue. "Noperoonies it does not but it's really salty though!" Again like before everypony followed suit and gave a tentative lick or two, Bon Bon just gaped at what she's currently witnessing and can't help but slowly inch her way forward to the group again. As they licked a little more vigorously the human groaned deeply, startling everypony.

As for our human friend who was disoriented and confused as fuck, his thoughts were as follows 'Last thing I remember is getting struck by lightning and passing out. So if I died then that would mean I'm in heaven right now. Well I think it's heaven because last time I checked they don't give blowjobs in hell.' Slowly opening his eyes he sees colorful equines licking and prodding his hard dick like it's a cat toy. Now our little human was stunned, he didn't know what to do and college sure as hell did not teach you how to react when pastel ponies poke your junk.

After a few moments his body started it's whole fight or flight scenario and he did what most people would do in this situation.

He ran like a bitch.