Dear Diary,

Today was actually somewhat relaxing as many of the ponies within this small hamlet were growing accustomed to my staying here. I even had a lovely conversation with an Octavia about musicians from my world. My favorite classical one easily being Mozart, but after finding out that she played the cello, I perhaps went on for a longer time than I should have, talking about the group “Apocolyptica.” I told her that they were this band that played four electric cellos, and they mixed rock music with classic symphonies and it was glorious. Now that I think about it, I wonder if there is a way to bring music from my world into this one. I feel at least Octavia and possibly Rarity would be interested in Earthly culture. Well, Rarity would be more interested in design while Octavia would find more liking to music and whatnot.

You know something I am just now realizing? I didn’t get woken up at some ungodly hour, or in some horrid fashion. I woke up, sleeping on some hay, which again is extremely soft…more so than I ever would have thought.

So, when I did get up I ended up walking down, at my own leisure to get something to eat.

I was thinking to myself, “This is far too calm.”

The day took a turn for the unfortunate around this point. See, the one time I’ve eaten, which was a rather large meal by the way, was paid for fully by Rarity, since I obviously had no currency here. I tried to pay for some breakfast with some quarters I had on my person from when I first came here. The pony running the place looked at me like I was a madman, and still had the tiny glint of fear in his eyes. It was small though. I suppose after being here for four days now, these ponies have finally realized I mean no harm. That’s a good thing at least.

Where was I, oh yes, procuring a meal from one of the vendors in town square. Apparently the accepted currency of Equestria, or Ponyville at the very least is bits. I would walk around for a while, seeing if I could find any familiar faces, Rarity, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, anyone really. See, at first I didn’t want to see Twilight, as she has been a less than favorable soul to converse with, but she’s started acting different around me. She’s started acting nice around me. What black magic has engulfed this pony’s mind?! She even apologized for being a paranoid and arrogant bitch…just not in those words exactly.

It was more along the lines of, “I’m sorry for not giving you the benefit of the doubt, and having you go through all of this stuff, and having you nearly risk your life even though I pretty much knew you meant Ponyville no harm.”

Those weren’t her exact words, but it was rather close along those lines. I accepted her apology, and we set forth on a very difficult journey, one that has claimed the lives of many men, women, and children alike…Small talk. It was pretty basic, we exchanged pleasantries, as the moment I saw her, she spurt out that apology. I had two main questions for her, the first being, where can I get some “bits” so I can get a half decent meal. I don’t have a job here, so it makes all of that rather complicated. That’s when she said she would be able to get me a more official job than the occasional head hunting out in Everfree forest. Yeah, I’m done with calling it Fuckthatforest, it’s getting rather old. She said there was a need for some more intellectual ponies as well as ones of a more brutish nature, being that I love to avoid work; I asked what was needed of me if I wanted to work in the fields that would require a decent amount of intelligence. She claimed it to be a rather simple job; they needed someone who could teach literature at the local school.

I genuinely thought she had a tumor, even thinking of allowing me to do anything that would require me to have an IQ more so than a potato, and be around children. Keep in mind, considering my size, and that I am bearded, she probably assumed that I was older than I am.

I asked what kind of literature, and she said that I would be teaching the equivalent of high school level Equestrian literature. That’s about the point where I was really wondering if she had anything wrong with her. I knew nothing of Equestrian literature, and she knew that.

When I asked what the more brutish occupation would be she said, “The apple family could always use another pair of hooves to help out around the place, and since I already lived in that barn, I would be perfect for it.”

Apparently Applejack said to Twilight that they really did need more help around the place, and since I needed money for basic things like food, clothing, and all of that, that they would be glad to pay me for working the fields.

So yeah, I really do need a job, I guess I’ll ask around somewhere else, because there is no way in hell I am breaking my back over apples, and I can’t teach.

The second thing I asked Twilight was what there was to do for fun around here. She said she usually just sits around and reads random books. She claims to read from things about alchemy to magic, and historical stuff, and all sorts of things. She also said she talks to, and hangs around with her friends when she has any free time during the day, which is not typically the case. She then proceeded to ask me what I did most of the time around at my home. I said I read, and wrote a lot, from chemistry, history, fantasy, and lots of topics of varying levels of complexity.

Twilight became somewhat intrigued with that. She asked me any specifics that I have read that may be in her collection. I guess she thought that it was possible through the power of magic and wormholes and shit that maybe books from my world could have ended up in Equestria. I gave her a brief list of some of my favorites: Jane Eyre, Pride and Prejudice, The Art of War, and Silence of the Lambs. She had heard of none of them, let alone seen them. So, pretty much exactly what I expected.

I bid her farewell, and continued to walk along the roads of Ponyville, saying hello to a few ponies as I passed them by. After about an hour of walking around, I found a bakery. The place is known simply as Sugar Cube Corner, and within I found a pony that I was more prepared to converse with. That pony was Pinkie Pie, and unlike last time, her hyperactivity was less annoying and more endearing. I have a strange feeling I’m one of the few beings that thinks that.

She saw me stumble into the building, and within a moment she had run up to me with her two hooves up on me. God damn does she weigh more than you might think. If I were to guess I would say one hundred and fifty pounds to say the least. She wasn’t fat, and she wasn’t that big, but still, holy shit did she make me fall back a little. With that being said, it was cold as a frost giant’s left bollock in there and something warm on my skin was refreshing.

I began talking with her about my predicament concerning me needing some money for necessities, and the first thing she did was ask me when I ate last. I told her it was around noon yesterday, and as soon as I said that she bolted into the kitchen. After about two minutes or so, she came out with a large cupcake. It had pink frosting, and the actual cupcake was chocolate. I know I shouldn’t have eaten that with nothing else, but I was starving and it smelled so good. It tasted amazing as well.

After that, she said something about how she loves baking, and that she was going to host a party welcoming me now that ponies are getting more used to my fat ass walking around. She also said that since I needed a job, I could work over at Sugar Cube Corner, as a delivery boy. I accepted. It didn’t require a ton of physical effort, and I didn’t need to know much, which was also nice. She said that they actually needed something delivered to town hall. They didn’t tell me what it was, and being the paranoid person I was, I assumed it was something shady. I thought it might have been some drugs, illegal weapons, or something of that sort.

Now, when I got there with that brown package, and knocked upon the birch door, I met a Mayor Mare. As soon as I learned her name I couldn’t stop laughing! Mayor, fucking, Mare. What kind of sadistic person would have someone’s surname be “Mare” in a world like this? I have this strange feeling that I am never going to truly get over that.

Where was I? Oh yes, I knocked on that door and met Mayor Mare, and I told her I had a package for her. I handed it to her, and that proved to be ineffective considering she has no fingers, or horn, or any of that. I just wish it didn’t take five minutes of awkward silence to realize that. She invited me in, and led me to a small table within what looked like a kitchen. I set the package down, and took a step back as she walked up to it, and tore it apart with her teeth.

It was at that moment where I felt stupider than I ever had before, because within was just a large slice of gourmet cheese cake on what looked to be a silver platter. She paid me in these weird golden pieces, which I now know are bits. I showed myself out.

It was later in the evening by then, so I hurried back to Sugar Cube Corner, and gave Pinkie Pie the bits. She counted them out and handed me about half, and told me she would find me if there was a delivery needed to made, or if there was anything else she needed.

I went back to that stand to purchase some food, and what I bought was weird. It was this strange fruit that tasted like pork, and was shaped like a grape fruit with an orange color. It was bumpy on the skin, and definitely took some effort to bite into.

I’m now in the barn, just finishing writing this entry, I should go to bed now, I have no idea what time it is, and I’m exhausted. Today was a pretty good day, I wonder what tomorrow will hold for me.

Author's Note

Thanks for all your support with this, and the likes are nice as well. I made sure to read through this, so I think I ironed out any grammar problems. Be sure to like if you haven't already...and want to support the story, oh and also I love reading comments, feel free to