Tales of a brony and a non-brony

It was a sunny day in Canterlot, Celestia’s sun shined brightly over the beautiful city. Everyone was happy.......Well almost everyone.

Celestia’s day was boring to say the least, first she had to raise the sun (what she did everyday), then she had to sit through day court and finally she had to deal with her nephew Prince Blueblood and his complaints.

So yeah to be precise, Celestia’s day was boring and frustrating.

"Finally some peace and quiet." Celestia said after she had told Blueblood she would look into his complaints.

'I can’t believe that he actually thinks he can order MY solar guards around.' Celestia thought.

Celestia just wanted some rest. She wanted to get away from all her duties for just this once.

"Guards you are dismissed for today." Celestia said.

"But your majesty shouldn’t we stay and guard?" One of the guards asked.

"No sergeant Blitz you do not." Celestia replied.

"Yes your majesty! Alright you heard the Princess let’s move it!" Blitz ordered his troops.

"Yes sir!" The other guards saluted.

The guards trotted over to the door, one of the guards opened the door so the others could walk trough.

Blitz turned his head towards the Solar Princess before speaking up.

"Your majesty,  what should we do when Prince Blueblood comes and orders us around again?" Blitz asked.

"Just ignore him. And if he ask why just tell him that his aunt told you so." Celestia replied.

"Yes your majesty! Blitz replied before walking out of the throne room.

A few minutes passed and Celestia made sure no one was watching, she closed her eyes and almost drifted of to the land of dreams…..Almost.

"Finally I can get some re—."

Celestia was cut of by a letter appearing in front of her.

'Who would send me a letter at this time of the day?' Celestia thought.

Celestia sighed and  opened the letter, she was still not amused by the one who sent the letter, that was of course until she found out it was her faithful student Twilight Sparkle.

"Another friendship report from Twilight, alright let’s see what kind of adventures my faithful student has gone through this day." Celestia said.

Dear Princess Celesta,

We have a situation that needs your immediate assistance.

You see, a few hours ago Rarity came by the library and told me she needed me and the other Elements of Harmony to come with her.

When I asked her why, she told me that Fluttershy needed our help.

So we went over to Fluttershy’s cottage, luckily we stumbled across Rainbow Dash, Applejack and Pinkie Pie along the way.

On the way to Fluttershy’s cottage Rarity began telling us that two aliens were inside of Fluttershy’s cottage. At first we didn’t believe her but she was very serious about the whole subject; so we decided to wait and find out if she had not just seen a new kind of animal that Fluttershy had brought into her cottage.

But we were so wrong.

When we entered Fluttershy’s cottage we were greeted by two bipedal creatures, at first we were all scared and didn’t know what to do. That was until they began to talk to us.

For some odd reason they speak Equestrian!

They began to tell us their story and how they arrived here (which wasn’t much of a explanation because they have no idea as to  how they arrived here.)

Not to worry they are surprisingly friendly (not like the aliens you read about in those comic books) and they even showed us some of their technology!

They are far more superior in technology than us ponies, they also told me that they had no magic on their world.

I almost forgot, their names are Ramses and Dave.

I was hoping if you could visit us as soon as possible, these Humans (the name of their species) have no idea how they are be able to return to their home.

I know this might seem strange, but I promise you that Ramses and Dave have no intention to hurt anypony They only want to return to their home as soon as possible.

I know this letter may seem a little rushed, but further explanation will be told by the Humans themselves.

Please come as soon as possible Princess.

                                Your faithful student,

                                                                   Twilight Sparkle.

After  Celestia had read the letter she was beginning to get a little excited and surprisingly nervous as well.

Aliens in Equestria? How fascinating, I trust my faithful students judgment. If she says that they have no intention of hurting us then I believe her.  She was right about a lot of things when I was not, even if she doesn’t want to admit it.

Celestia looked at the letter one last time before calling her guards.

"Guards!" Celestia shouted.

In mere seconds the guards came rushing in, thinking that something had happened to their ruler.

"Yes your majesty!" One of  the guard shouted.

"I will be departing for Ponyville, I want you" Celestia said while pointing at the guard she was speaking to "and you" Celestia pointed her hoof towards another guard "to come with

me." Celestia ordered.

"Yes your majesty!" They shouted in union.

"Good, the rest of you are dismissed. Do not worry, I won’t be gone for too long." Celestia said.

"Yes your majesty!" The guards replied.

With that said Celestia called the two guards towards her.

"Alright I am going to cast the teleportation spell, so prepare yourselves". Celestia said.

The guards nodded in response and awaited further orders.

Celestia horn started to glow and in a matter of seconds they were in front o Fluttershy’s cottage.

'Luckily for me I still remember where Fluttershy lives.' Celestia thought.

Celestia and the two guards walked towards the door, the guards on her left knocked on the door.

"Oh that must be Princess Celestia! She heard her faithful student say.

In a matter of seconds the door opened and revealed a very excited Twilight Sparkle.

"Princess Celestia!" Twilight exclaimed with joy.

"My faithful student Twilight Sparkle. How have you been?" Celestia asked.

"I’m good, but WOW I didn’t expect you to get here so quickly." Twilight said.

"Well when I read your letter I just needed to see these Humans for myself." Celestia replied.

"Oh well come in Princess!" Twilight said while gesturing her to come in.

"You two will wait here, I will call you when you are needed." Celestia said to the two guards.

"Yes your majesty!" They replied in union.

"Good, now please lead the way my faithful student." Celestia said, eager to meet the aliens.

Twilight nodded and led the Princess inside.

Once they were inside Celestia was greeted by the other five Elements of Harmony and not to forget the two aliens. The aliens were different, Celestia had expected to see a big green blob of slime or a green creature with two heads.

'Guess those comic books Luna showed me weren’t as accurate as I thought.' Celestia thought while scanning the two aliens.

They were bipedal, around 6 feet tall and had no fur. They appeared to be wearing clothes of some sort but not like any of the clothes Celestia had seen.

'These are defiantly not like the aliens from those comics.' Celestia thought.

"Princess Celestia may I introduce you to Ramses Doutzenberg and Dave Bal!" Twilight said while pointing her hoof at the aliens.

"Hi!"

"Waddup."

"Hello aliens, I am Princess Celestia co-ruler of Equestria. I can assure you that I mean no harm. From the letter that my faithful student had sent me she told me that you were called

Humans and that you have no intention of harming anypony am I correct?" Celestia asked.

"Uhm I-I-I-I-I." One of them stuttered.

"What Dave is trying to say is; yes we do not have any intention of hurting your ponies." The other Human replied while walking towards the Princess.

Celestia eyed him curiously, overtaking all of his features.

The Human had a short mane that appeared to be a blond color of some sort, she could see that he was a little taller than her and that he had what appeared to be a scar on his left eye.

The Human stopped in his tracks before lowering itself and…..bowing for her?

"May I ask what you are doing?" Celestia asked Ramses.

"Bowing." Ramses replied casually.

"And may I ask why?" Celestia asked.

"Well you are the Princess, meaning that you are royalty of some sort and I’m an alien on your world, so the least I can do is show some respect." Ramses replied.

"That is very kind of you but there is no need for such formality’s, you are not one of my subjects so there is no need to bow." Celestia said.

"Whatever you say." Ramses replied while getting up.

"Nice going dude, already kissing ass." She heard the other Human say to the Human that had just bowed to her.

"Hey at least I know what to do when I meet someone who is far more superior than me. Remember the Prince Willem Alexander incident?" Ramses asked.

"We promised never to speak of that ever again! And besides nothing happened." Dave said.

"Nothing happened? Dave you almost got arrested if it wasn’t for Prince Willem to say that it wasn’t your fault." Ramses said.

"Hey I only spilled that coffee over him because I tripped!" Dave defended.

"You weren’t even supposed to be in that meeting remember? How did you even get there?" Ramses asked.

"Well I might have picked the wrong door, if you know what I’m saying." Dave replied.

"No I don’t know what you’re saying." Ramses said.

"I literally picked the wrong door, I thought I was going to the restroom but instead I ended up in that meeting." Dave said.

"How did the security not find you?" Ramses asked.

"Security? Ahhhh so that’s why those guys they kept running after me when I entered the building." Dave said.

"I don’t know what to do with you." Ramses said.

"Well mom did drop me on my head when I was younger." Dave said.

"Really?" Ramses asked.

"Nope, just kidding." Dave replied.

"*ahem* I think the Princess wants to talk to you two." Twilight interrupted.

"Huh? Oh yeah the Princess. Sorry about that, these kind of thing usually happen when it’s just the 2 of us." Dave said.

"That is Alright Human, and may I ask what your name is?" Celestia asked.

Dave walked towards Celestia and spoke up.

"Hi my name is Dave and I’m your number one fa--."

"Number one fantastic alien!" Ramses interrupted.

"Huh?" Dave asked while looking at Ramses, Ramses gave him a glare and Dave nodded in response. "Oh yeah right that’s what I am." Dave said before walking back to the other Human.

"Uhm okay?" Celestia said unsure what to think of what had just happened.

"Hi my name is Ramses Doutzenberg and I want to get straight to the point." Ramses said.

"And that point is?" Celestia asked keeping a neutral expression on her face.

"Do you know how to get us back home?" Ramses asked.

"Well…..No, not yet." Celestia replied.

Ramses looked at Celestia before sighing and walking towards the back of the cottage.

"Ramses are you ok?" Dave asked.

"I need some time to think." Ramses replied.

"S-Sure thing dude, just take your time." Dave said.

"Is he going to be alright?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"He just needs some time to think about all of this." Dave replied.

"Princess is there really no way for us to return home?" Dave asked.

"Well not that I know of, but if you two would come with me to Canterlot I could try and look for anything that might help you get home." Celestia replied.

"Well if it’s any help." Dave said.

"Oh Canterlot, I can assure you that you will have a wonderful time there with us. Rarity said while her eyes had a sparkle is them. The beautiful fashion, the royalty and of course

the city itself." Rarity said with much enthusiasm.

"Yes about that." Celestia said while looking at Dave. "I think it would be for the best if I would depart to Canterlot lot with Dave and Ramses alone." celestial said.

"Alone? Why is that Princess?" Twilight asked.

"Well I need to know more about them." Celestia lied.

Celestia really wanted to talk to these Humans, she was very excited to hear their story (the kind of excited Twilight would get over a good book or Rainbow Dash about the Wonderbolts.)

"But why can’t we come with ya Princess?" Applejack asked.

"Well it’s because….." Celestia trailed of.

"Because of what?" Applejack asked.

"Well because I just need to talk to them alone, but I assure you that you will be able to talk to them once we get back from Canterlot." Celestia said reassuring the Applejack and the others that they would be able to talk some more to their alien friends.

"Will it take very long?" Fluttershy asked in a whisper.

"No Fluttershy, if things go as I would like them to go they could return to Ponyville this evening." Celestia said.

"Wait return? No no that’s NOT happening." Ramses said.

"Dude chill, I’m sure the Princess will find a way for us to return home……Right?" Dave asked.

"I will do everything in my power to help you return home, but I cannot assure that you will be able to return home today." Celestia said.

"Well as long as we can get home, I’m all in." Ramses said.

"Are we ready to leave then?" Celestia asked.

"Sure let’s go." Ramses said.

"Actually I kind of want to stay here." Dave said.

"Stay here? Why would you want to stay here?" Ramses asked confused.

Dave walked up to Ramses and whispered something in his ear.

"I don’t like flying dude, and Princess Celestia probably has ton of guards waiting outside." Dave whispered.

How do you know that she’s got a ton of guards waiting outside? Ramses asked.

"Fan fictions." Dave replied.

"Seriously? And you believe those things?" Ramses asked.

"Yep , but I guess it’s time to find out if their 100 percent accurate." Dave replied while walking towards Celestia.

"So Princess Celestia, may I ask you a question?" Dave asked.

"Of course Human." Celestia replied.

"My name’s Dave Princess but that’s alright. But the question is: Do you have guards waiting outside?" Dave asked.

"Well…….Yes, two to be precise." Celestia replied confused by his question.

"Told you so!" Dave said to Ramses.

"Yeah yeah whatever. Listen Princess whatever your name is let’s just go, I want to get this over with as quickly as possible." Ramses said.

"Alright, Twilight sparkle can you assure me that you will keep Dave hidden from public eyes?" Celestia asked.

"Yes Princess Celestia!" Twilight replied with much confidence.

"Alright, now if you" Celestia said while pointing her hoof at Ramses "would be so kind to follow me."

"Uhm sure but wait let me get some of my stuff." Ramses said while walking towards his backpack and lifting it up.

"What are you going to do with those?" Dave asked.

"None of your damn business." Ramses snapped back.

"Wow dude relaaaaaaax." Dave said.

Ramses walked over to Dave and whispered something in his ear.

"You and I are going to have a little talk about privacy when we get back to Brattleboro." Ramses whispered.

"*gulp* s-sure thing man." Dave replied nervously.

Ramses gave him a nod before walking towards Celestia.

"Alright Princess, lead the way." Ramses said while gesturing at the door.

"My little ponies; be safe, I will return with Ramses as soon as possible." Celestia said.

"Princess I do have to warn ya that tha fella Ramses ain't much of a talker. Applejack whispred to Princess Celestia.

"I think he will talk once we get to know each other better." Celestia whispered back.

"A-Alright but just go easy on him, the poor fella has been through much." Applejack said while watching Ramses with a sad expression.

"What do you mean has been through much?" Celestia asked.

"Ah think it’lld be better if ya asked him yerself Princess." Applejack replied.

"And I will." Celestia said.

"Are we ready to go?" Ramses asked.

'Luckily he didn’t hear the conversation.' Applejack thought.

'Just what have you been through Human?' Celestia thought.

"My little ponies for now I must  bid you farewell, Ramses prepare yourself." Celestia said.

"Prepare for what?" Ramses asked.

"For teleportation. "Celestia said.

"Wait teleportation!? Oh hell no I am not getting teleported! I don’t want to en up in Kino Der Toten or something!" Ramses said.

"*sigh* Very well, I will simply have to get a chariot then." Celestia said.

"And how long will that take?" Ramses asked.

"An hour or two." Celestia replied.

Ramses looked at her nervously before speaking up.

"*sigh* J-Just teleport than." Ramses said defeated.

"Really? Are you sure?" Celestia asked.

"The sooner I can get home e the better." Ramses replied.

"A-Alright just stand still." Celestia said.

Celestia’s horn started to glow, in a matter of seconds everyone in the room had to cover their eyes, or else they might have gone blind. When the light dimmed and they could see clearly again, they saw that there was no Ramses and no Princess Celestia. They could only hope the spell worked correctly.

'I hope he’s not dead….And I hope he’s not being swarmed by guards,. Damn if those fan fictions really are 100 percent accurate, I just hope that Ramses will be in one were the guards aren’t total assholes who just attack someone for the way he looks.' Dave thought

"So what do we do now?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"I don’t know." Twilight replied.

"We could give Dave a welcome to Ponyville party! "Pinkie exclaimed.

"NO!" Twilight quickly interrupted.

"Awww why not?" Pinkie asked.

"Because Princess Celestia told us to keep him hidden." Twilight replied.

"And there is the fact that most ponies would freak out if they saw him. No offense Dave." Rarity said.

"None taken I guess." Dave said.

"Well I don't know about you but I still have some clouds to move". Rainbow Dash said while hovering in the air. "Tell me when the big guy returns alright?" Rainbow Dash asked Dave.

"Big guy? You mean Ramses right?" Dave asked.

"Well are there any other Humans in Equestria than you and Ramses?" Rainbow Dash asked sarcastically.

"I guess not." This is why Rainbow Dash is one of my least favorite characters. Dave thought.

"See ya later!" Rainbow Dash said. She took of with an amazing speed that made the front door burst open.

"Oh my." Fluttershy said while trotting towards the door and closing it.

"Well that sure was fast." Dave said.

"Ah think it'll be better if ah head back to the farm, them apple trees aren't going to buck themselves." Applejack said.

'That sounded wrong on so many levels.' Dave thought.

"Well I'm gonna go back to SugarCube Corner and make you the most super duper delicioustly cupcakes you'll ever eat!" Pinkie exclaimed happily.

In a matter of seconds Pinkie disappeared, and the only thing Dave saw was a pink blur running away from the cottage.

"How?" Dave asked.

"That’s something we asked ourselves many times Dave." Twilight replied.

"I will be returning to the boutique, and I also have to make another spa appointment." Rarity said.

"Yeah sorry about that by the way." Dave said sheepishly while rubbing the back of his head.

"That is quite alright darling, an extraterrestrial introduction surely beats a visit to the spa……Only for once of course." Rarity said.

"If it’s ok with you Fluttershy, I’d like to stay and ask Dave some more questions." Twilight said.

"Oh uhm make yourself at home Twilight." Fluttershy said with a warm smile.

"Thanks Fluttershy, you’re the best." Twilight said while giving her friend a hug.

'Dawww it’s even cuter in real life.' Dave thought.

"Well ah’ll see you girls later then!" Applejack said while walking towards the door.

"Yes I believe it is time for me to leave as well. Rarity said. Rarity looked at Applejack for a moment before speaking up. Applejack would you be so kind to walk with me to the

boutique?" Rarity asked.

"Sure thang Rarity!" Applejack replied.

"Marvelous darling." Rarity said. Rarity eyed Dave with a curious eye before speaking up. "Dave I almost forgot to say but those clothes you are wearing are absolutely hideous! I will come back tomorrow to get your measurements and then I will finally be able to make you some fitting clothes." Rarity said.

"Thanks but you--."

"No I have to!" Rarity cut Dave of.

"A-Alright if it’s what you want then I’m not stopping you." Dave said.

"Thank you kindly. Rarity said while giving Dave a smile. Now shall we get going Applejack?" Rarity asked.

"Lead the way." Applejack replied while gesturing at the door.

Rarity and Applejack said their goodbyes and left, the mood quickly changed from neutral to awkward, Dave and Twilight would just stare at each other while Fluttershy was watching the from a distance.

"So what do you want to ask?" Dave asked.

"What is in that?" Twilight asked while pointing her hoof at Dave’s backpack.

"Oh that well…..Just sit down and I’ll show you everything that's inside of it." Dave replied.

"O-Okay." Twilight said.

"You wanna see  my stuff as well Fluttershy?" Dave asked.

"W-Well….If that’s ok with you…..I guess." Fluttershy replied.

"Aright lest get this over with." Dave said while grabbing his backpack.

"Alright I’m going to tell you some things about the stuff I have with me and why I carry them with me alright?" Dave said.

"Go ahead." Twilight replied eager to see what kind of strange alien devices Dave had brought with him.

"Alright this is a phone, we Humans use it to contact other Humans." Dave said while holding his phone up so that they could see it.

"Why would you use that to communicate?" Twilight asked confused.

"Well we Humans do communicate without our phones, but see it like this: You’re a Human and your best friend is miles away from you. Now you can’t go and shout what you want to say to him right? Dave asked. They both nodded in response. Well that is where our phones come in handy, how it basically works is: You grab your phone; turn it on, put in the number of who you want to call, the other persons hears his phone ringing; he picks up his phone and answers the call as we Humans call it and you basically talk through your phone and  your friend who is miles away can hear you as if you were standing right in front of him."

"Wow, and you are 100 percent sure it isn’t magic?" Twilight asked.

"Nope no magic, Juts Human technology." Dave replied.

"And what’s this?" Twilight said while she levitated the M1911 in front of her face.

"Wow that’s not a toy!" Dave said while he snatched the gun away from Twilight.

"Hey! What was that for?" Twilight asked.

"This" Dave said while pointing at the gun "is a weapon, and a very deadly one." Dave said.

"It doesn’t seem as deadly, It doesn’t even look sharp, it’s nothing like a sword or spear.' Twilight said.

"Oh yeah? Fluttershy is that vase over there very dear to you?" Dave asked.

"N-No I kind of wanted to get rid of it." Fluttershy repled.

"Well then, cover your ears." Dave said.

"Why would we--."

"Just do it." Dave cut Her off.

"O-Okay." Twilight said while putting her hooves in her ears.

"Same goes for you to Fluttershy." Dave said.

"O-Okay." Fluttershy said.

Once they had both covered their ears Dave aimed the gun at the vase and pulled the trigger.

*BANG*

The vase broke into a million pieces. Twilight and Fluttershy looked at the damage such a small thing could do with total fear and shock.

"How?! How did you manage to do that!?" Twilight asked.

"And that was even the weakest gun I’ve got with me." Dave said.

"Your weakest!?" Twilight asked.

"Yep, but I’m not gonna shoot all of my guns, I kind of need the ammo." Dave said.

"Ammo?" Fluttershy asked.

"*sigh* Alright I’m going to explain you the basics of a gun". Dave said.

"Well first of there--."

*Knock* *Knock*

"Who could that be?" Fluttershy asked while walking towards the door. When she opened the door she saw 2 pegasi solar guards standing outside.

"Uhm c-can I-I help you?" Fluttershy asked.

"Yes ma’am, I think that the Princess has forgotten to take us back to Canterlot." One of the guards said.

"Oh my, please come in. Twilight could you perhaps write another letter to Princess Celestia and tell her that she has forgotten to take her 2 guards with her?" Fluttershy asked.

"Forgot her guards? That’s something I never expected from Princess Celestia". Twilight said while teleporting a paper and quill. She started to write the letter, hoping that Princess Celestia wasn’t too busy with Ramses.

"Wait you two have wings right?" Dave asked.

The guards looked at Dave with shock. A few seconds went by until one of them finally spoke up.

"Yes we have wings, why do you ask?" The guards on the right asked.

"Well cant you just fly back to Canterlot or something?" Dave asked.

"…..Buck." One of the guards said. In a matter of seconds they were of, leaving a very confused Fluttershy and Twilight Sparkle, and a less confused and more amused Dave.

"Yes! Own an pony guard….Check!" Dave said.

"What was that?" Twilight asked while teleporting the letter away.

"Huh oh nothing, but what were we talking about again?" Dave asked.

"The ‘gun’ remember?" Twilight replied.

"Ah yes the M1911, alright sit down and let me tell you how the magic of this thing works." Dave said.

"Magic? But I thought your world didn’t have magic?" Twilight asked confused.

"It’s a figure of speech." Dave replied.

They both ahaaad in union.

"The M1911 is………"

Ramses POV ten minutes after teleportation,

"Is my stomach still supposed to be hurting this bad?" I asked through the pain.

"Yes, those are apparently the side effects teleportation has on your body. Maybe you should have waited until I got that Royal chariot to pick us up." Celestia replied.

"That would take too much time." I replied.

"Well would you like to sit down?" Celestia asked.

"N-No I’m fine, I’ll just walk it of or something." I replied.

"Are you sure? I mean you don’t look fine." Celestia said.

"Why do you even concern yourself about me?" Ramses asked.

"As the ruler of Equestria it is my duty to protect its inhabitants and visitors." Celestia said while looking at me. "You are a visitor and that means I have to make sure that you will have a pleasant stay in Equestria." Celestia said.

"Well not for long I hope." I said.

"I know you want to go home as soon as possible." Celestia said while giving me a smile. "But I must ask why it is that you insist on going home, are you not even a little excited to be on an alien planet?" Celestia asked.

She was right about that, I am on an alien planet…..But it’s just the one planet I hate the most.

'If you only knew Princess, if you only knew.' I thought.

"It’s just that I have a lot of things to attend to on Earth, and I want to attend to those things as soon as possible." I said.

"Very well, but can it wait for just one day?" Celestia asked.

'Is she pleading for me to stay? *sigh* I REALLY want to go back to Brattleboro but I might as well play the nice guy for now. I wouldn’t want to make another pony cry.' I thought.

"Well…..I guess one day is not that big of a deal." I said.

Celestia’s eyes lit up and she gave me a warm smile. "Thank you so much Ramses! Celestia exclaimed.

"Err your welcome I guess." I replied.

"Sooooooo, what do you want to do now Princess?" I asked.

"Well I was hoping I could ask you some questions about your world." Celestia said. Celestia looked at me before looking at my backpack that hung from my left shoulder.

"And may I ask what’s in your bag?" Celestia asked curiously.

"Some candy, my laptop, phone, etc." I said.

"May I take a look at this ‘phone’ of yours?" Celestia asked.

"Well I guess, but just don’t break it." I replied while grabbing my phon from my backpack.

I held out the phone, Celestia looked at it curiously before levitating it over to her.

"Its just a black box." Celestia said.

"Well if you  would have let me turn it on before you grabbed it without my permission, I could have shown you how it really worked." I replied.

Celestia blushed a little before levitating my I-phone back in my hand.

"Now this is a phone." I said while turning my I-phone on. "It is used for communication and entertainment."

"Why would you communicate through this ‘phone‘?" Celestia asked.

"Don’t know, I only know we Humans use it to talk to other Humans when they are far away from them,  like a vacation or something." I replied.

"Fascinating." Celestia said.

Suddenly a rumble was heard through the room. I blushed a little before speaking up.

"Heh I didn’t eat last night." I said sheepishly.

"I will escort you to the dining room, I haven’t eaten as well." Celestia said.

"I’ve got my own food with me." I said.

"You might have your food with you but I am not going to let you eat it in the throne room." Celestia said.

"*sigh* Fine." I said.

Celestia gave me a smile before grabbing my arm with her hoof (don’t know how the fuck that shit works) and dragging me towards the dining room.

'Wow for a Princess she’s pretty strong.' I thought while Celestia was dragging me towards the dining room.

After a few minutes of dragging and almost dislocating my shoulder; we finally arrived in the dining room. And it was fucking huge! Chandeliers hung on the ceiling, lighting the

entire room in a beautiful aura. There was a big table, probably 7 times bigger than me. There were around 20 chairs and there was this big window. But the view was just amazing,

we were on top of a mountain, introduce the distance I could see the sun shining brightly over the beautiful landscape.

Damn, all those times Dave forced me to watch the show, and I’ve never seen this appear in it. "Hey Princess can I ask you something?" I asked.

"Of course. What is it?" Celestia asked.

"Well." I said while turning my gaze away from the view so I could look her straight in her eyes. "Where are all your guards at?"

"I dismissed a few for the day, they are still around though. Just not in the dining room and in the throne room." Celestia replied.

"And for what reason?" I asked.

"So that we could have a peaceful dinner and discuss the topics I wanted to ask you." Celestia replied.

"You did that in 10 minutes!?" I asked amazed.

"Well being a immortal Princess who controls the sun does have its benefits." Celestia said.

'Wish I could do that when I needed Duck or Billy’s help.' I thought.

"Alright I'm gonna get some food from my back." I said while reaching my hand to the tuna sandwich I had prepared before we left.

I sat down on one of the chairs, the chairs were surprisingly comfortable.

"Why eat your own food when you can eat food that is made by Royal chefs?" Celestia asked confused. While sitting down as well.

"Because you're ponies, meaning you are herbivorours right?  Celestia nodded in response. "You see my species is omnivorours, meaning that we eat meat and vegetables." I said

while taking a bite from my tuna sandwich.

"Yes and your point is?" Celestia asked.

"My poiny is that your chefs will probably prepare a meal that is fit for herbivours, like flowers and salads." I explained.

"You can't eat salad?" Celestia asked confused.

"I can eat salad." I said while showing her the salad on my sandwich. "I just can't eat something like flowers or hay."

"Well then I'll just order the chefs to make you some meat instead." Celestia said.

I nearly choked on my sandwich when I heard her say that.

"*Cough* What did you *cough* say?" I asked.

"I said that I will order the chefs to prepare you a meat based meal." Celestia said.

"O-Ok but you're a pony." I said while pointing my finger at her. "Why would you ever consider to have meat in you kitchen?" I asked confused.

"We have griffons, minotaurs and many other carnivorous beings living in Equestria, when one of the royals comes to visit I always let my chefs prepare a carnivorous based meal." Celestia said.

"Great now they have 2 more mythological creatures from Earth living on their planet." I thought.

"Well luckily I prepared this tuna sandwich before we got transported to Equestria." I said.

"You eat fish too? That is good to hear." Celestia said.

"Why is that?" I asked confused.

"I personally think that eating fish is less bad than eating meat." Celestia said.

"Ok' but you said something about a royal dinner?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"Yes, I shall order the chefs to prepare dinner and--.

Celestia was cut of by a dark blue pony bursting through the door of the dining room.

"SISTER WERE IS THIS HUMAN THOU SPEAKEST OF? WE WOULD LIKE TO FORMALLY INTRODUCE OURSELVES!"

"Aaah Jesus Maliesus! What the fuck was that!?" I asked while checking if my ears were still working correctly.

"That would be my sister Luna."

Great 2 Princesses, from what Dave told me (not that I was listening) Luna was banished to space or something because she became a total bitch. I don't know I wasn't paying attention.

"Hello Luna, may I introduce you to the Human; Ramses." Celestia said.

"HELLO HUMAN WE ARE VERY PLEASED TO MEET THEE!" Luna shouted.

'If I knew I was gonna get ear fucked I would have brought protection.' I thought.

Luna walked up to me before taking a look at my sandwich. (thanks to her I dropped my sandwich on the table.)

"Ah I see the royal chefs have prepared you a sandwich sister." Luna said.

Suddenly my sandwich was covered in a blue aura and levitated towards Luna's mouth. I see thou has already begun eating it sister, but We can see that thou art busy so We will

finish it for thee. in a matter of seconds my sandwich was completely gone, and Luna had just eaten tuna.

*Burp* "Oh excuse Us. Luna said while wiping her mouth with a napkin. "Pray tell sister what was on that sandwich?" Luna asked.

"Lulu you might want to sit down." Celestia said.

"Why?" Luna asked.

"Just do it please." Celestia replied.

"A-Alright sister." Luna sat down next to her sister before speaking up.

"So what was on the sandwich?" Luna asked.

".......Fish." Celestia mumbled.

"Come again?" Luna asked.

"Fish." Celestia said.

"What?" Luna asked.

"FISH! YOU ATE FISH!" Celestia shouted.

Oh crap.