The Shadows of War

Rainbow Dash's POV

After we got back from the range, I was still a bit upset.

Dammit Dash! Everything was going great! Turner trusted you to make this happen, and you blew it. Probably set him back again. You had one thing to do, ONE thing! Get him out of his comfort zone and expand said zone, and you had to jump the gun. LITERALLY!

I wanted to facepalm at my mental pun, and the horrible circumstances that surrounded it, but at the moment all I could focus on was watching Steel Wing put away the guns, locking the cabinet, and carefully tucking the key into his jacket pocket. Poor guy didn’t know that I had a spare key, and that the lock was magical... I could open it or seal it thanks to Twilight, just in case anything bad happened. I didn’t want to think about it, but as his ward, I had to. I would NEVER let my friends down.

Except today apparently. Celestia knows I try, but sometimes my pride gets the better of me and I end up doing something dumb, or worrying too much, or making a foal of myself. That would have been a clever idea of his if I had'nt come up with the same one, but... at least he was starting to think hard again. Personally, I was a bit surprised he had been offered the job by Miss Bits, but Twilight had sent her a letter too telling her that he could probably actually DO the job. If he did... that actually didn’t sound like a bad gig.

He went off to his room, closing the door behind him, and I heard a bit more coughing. Sounded like he might be getting a cold, which wasn't surprising considering his poor health overall and the cold air outside. I really needed to go out... a couple of drinks sounded nice, but I needed to go the hospital and talk to Time Turner. He should be getting off work around now, it was the end of the day, but he had told me to talk to him if anything should change or there be a problem. He also told me how to recognize a backslide into depression or anxiety, and I think I just saw that. Steel would not be out of his room till dawn, at the earliest, so I had plenty of time.

Sighing, I pulled on my coat and left, closing the door and locking it, stuffing the key into my pocket. So much of Steel Wing's life was structure without him knowing it, and truth be told, I felt a bit guilty about it. Everypony deserved a chance to determine their fate and life, but... dammit, he was so fragile. He couldn’t fly, he couldn’t be alone for more than a few hours without breaking down, and he still woke up crying sometimes, and all I could do was hold him and try to calm him down.

Despite the cool air, my cheeks felt a bit warm. He was weak, vulnerable, and broken, but he was also sweet and kind under whatever shell he had around him. What the HAY had that war done to him? I had talked to his mom just before Hearth Warming Eve, I had to leave him with Applejack again so I could make the time, and I had a good picture of what he used to be like. A bit like me really, loves flying and competing, but stuck in a dead-end job to make ends meet. Then he was drafted, and his own mom didn’t recognize her son when he came back! She said he was so broken he couldn’t stop shacking, and broke a few things while packing. She was worried, and it took everything I had to convince her not to force him to come home. Legally, she could, as he was a Cloudsdale citizen, and Cloudsdale was still technically a Pegasi City-state that could order extradition, but that would be a mess, and the last thing I... er, HE needed, was for him to go through a legal tangle.

And that thing with applejack! I loved her as a sister, I loved competing against her, but that stunt with the timberwolves! I was SO furious when I got back, and she couldn’t see why! He could have DIED there, or worse, snapped. He was one major incident away from being taken to Broadhoof Mental Institution in Manehatten, and that could have pushed him over the edge. Applejack, I love you, but if that EVER happens again, I swear I will slap you silly with my wings.

Then the bank. When I heard that on the news, I came back as fast as I could, only to find he had reverted to combat instincts and somehow taken out four heavily armed opponents. That was the first time he had really scared me. I saw some of the moves that were recorded. He was a blur, and that guy he had fought had been nearly better than him. The worst part though was that it was too fast for him to have been thinking about it. He fought like I flew... by instinct. And no pony should naturally have instincts like that. His were not practiced looking ones, but the moves of someone who just knew how to take someone else down from hard experience. The way he effortlessly handled a gun when not freaking out, that was terrifying as well. The military said that he could hit any target they threw him at, and that he had over seventy confirmed kills. He had killed seventy gryphons... and he was living in my house.

As I approached the hospital, the thought that occurred to me was the one that finally gave me a bit of ease. He is so good, so strong, but he leans on you. He trusts you, even though he is broken and miserable. And the way he looked at you earlier... The thought brought a new flush to my cheeks. He wasn’t that bad on the eyes, in a rugged... I can kill anything, sort of way.

Inside, I checked in at the desk, and was quickly referred back to Time Turner's office. As I walked in, Derpy Hooves walked out, smiling with her wall eyed gaze, and left. Time Turner was at his desk, coat on, just packing files into a briefcase, and looking at a picture of a blue phone booth or something of that sort.

He looked up at me. “Miss Dash? Something I can do for you?”

I nodded. “You know how you told me to take Steel to the range? Or... that I should let him take me? It didn’t go so well...”

He looked at his watch, and then sat down. “What went wrong? Did he have an Incident?”

I shook my head, a bit uncertain. “Maybe? I messed up. I startled him with an accidental discharge, and he lost it for a few minutes, before giving up and going home. He wasn’t talking to me on the way back, and when I left, it sounded like he was writing. Probably mail.”

He leaned back and sighed. “Well, shoot. No pun intended, of course. I am going to be out of town for a couple of days, I have a date. He NEEDS to have his boundries pushed if he is to make any progress. What is the status on the job?”

I considered. “I think he is going to enjoy it, if he gets it. Mostly work from home, and it makes quite a bit of money. Just troubleshooting floor plans for security, easy stuff. It wont be as cool as MY job, but hey, to each their own. Still, he really didn’t react well today... and I'm an athlete, not a doctor. I'm doing my best to take care of him...”

He smiled. “Just keep doing what you're doing. Keep nurturing him, make sure he takes his meds, and hopefully we can undo some of the damage and pain he went through. Maybe go see his mother with him? He needs help Miss Dash, and you promised to do so. You are a lot more caring than you let on, and even I can see the lookin your eyes when you see him. He isn't Soarin, and perhaps forming an emotional attachment would be good for him.”

At that, I stopped dead, cheeks flushed, tail on edge. THAT had hit a bit close to the mark. “I... what? What are you talking about?”

He rolled his eyes. “Miss Dash, you are doing fine. Here are the meds he will be needing for the rest of the month, and I have a date to get to with Miss Derpy. Make sure he makes his appointments, and whenever you get frustrated by me, just remember I have no failed cases, even if Canterlot threatened to pull my medical licence due to pissing on too many nobles. Dash, you are doing fine, and don't be afraid to express YOUR feelings too. Just take things slowly.”

That seemed simple enough, even if my heart was fluttering a tiny bit. He was tiny and delicate and needed a lot of help, but at least he would be around for a while. My feelings were a bit muddled on the matter, as relationships were not of too much interest to me after Soarin, but... should I go after him? Life was all about chasing something worth having and despite him being so messed up... he did have a bit of a charm.... maybe I should ask Rarity. She always knew about complicated emotional things like this. Finally I smiled at Doctor Time Turner.

“Alright. Have fun on your date, and take care of Derpy. Sometimes she gets into accidents, and doesn’t seem to realize something is wrong, but don’t let that fool you. She is ten times smarter than most other Pegasi I know. Night doctor!”

He and I both left each other at the front of the hospital, and I went back home. There were the faint sounds of wimpering from his bedroom... the sounds of another nightmare.

Carefully opening the door, I went in to see what I had expected: His eyes were screwed shut, hands shaking, and every so often flinching, face pale. What did they do to him... dammit!

Finally, I pulled a chair up to the bed quietly and ran a hand through his mane. His tattered ear twitched, and I would have giggled at that, if the circumstances were different. This wasn’t cute though, it was heartbreaking. But there was another question to be answered here... why did I feel a hot flush looking at him?

I knew that I would do whatever it took to protect him. He had protected all of us, and most people either spat on him or just turned away. I would not do that. He was now part of MY flock, ability to fly or not.