The Unusual Tale of a Human Thief in Equestria

The Unusual Tale of a Human Thief in Equestria

An Unlikely Hero.

Chapter 5 - Something stupid.

“This is stupid,” I said for the third time that afternoon. “I actually don’t think there is anything stupider to be doing with my time.”

“Can you stop saying that? Finding out who is the most daring pony, is not stupid!” My blue friend shot back at me, finally losing her patience with my attitude.

So, what we were doing exactly? Well, I was brought by Pinkie Pie, who was the judge of this little waste of time, to make sure none of the participants got hurt, Rainbow and Applejack (The participants) were in a middle of one of their many competitions, this time to find out who was the most daring pony of the bunch, they had already done a bunch of challenges, which I am happy to have missed, but since the last one could actually get dangerous, Pinkie saw fit to call me.

Why she thinks I would be able to do anything besides fleeing in terror in case this whole thing went south, I have no idea.

The challenge involved covering each other in bees, as in the actual live bug, and see who would last longer and who would freak out and give up, there was just one problem to this whole ordeal.

“Yes, it is!” I answered, “When your whole challenge consists of seeing who can stand being covered in bees the longest but both of you are wearing bee-keeper suits then this whole thing becomes useless.”

“He does have a point sugar cube,” Applejack said. Yeah, you could have realized that the first time I said it.

“Uh, whatcha'll doing??” Said a brown, bee-keeper suit wearing pony that seemed to materialize out of freaking nowhere, I swear he wasn't there minutes ago.

“Something stupid,” I replied, hiding my initial shock.

“Stop saying that!” Rainbow stamped the floor with a hoof, causing some bees to latch off of her.

”Rainbow Dash and Applejack are competing for the title of ‘Most Daring Pony’! This is the final test: the Bee Stare! The last pony to blink wins!” Pinkie answered in her usual cheerful manner.

“Bee Stare? That sounds even stupider.”

“Yeaaaaah.” He says, having some trouble taking his eyes off me, most ponies here are very aware of me, hell there is this brown stallion that’s always wearing a tie that keeps following me around town whenever he sees me, he thinks I can’t see him but it’s kinda hard to miss the guy. “I’m gonna need my bees back.” He finally states.

“But then we’ll never find out who the most daring pony ever is” Rainbow pleaded.

The dude doesn't even miss a beat, “Eh, sorry about that.” And with a sharp whistle, the bees leave to follow him closely to wherever it is he keeps them, leaving behind two ponies in bee-keeper suits standing around like idiots.

“This has been the biggest waste of time I had since I got here, and I had to go shopping with Rarity yesterday,” I said getting up and rubbing my hands to get the dirt out.

“C’mon we can’t stop now!” Rainbow pleaded once again, struggling to get out of the suit, “Pinkie, what’s the score?”

“Let me see.” She says pulling out a notepad out of her hair, this time, I’m not fazed by her antics, I’ve seen her get an entire live baby alligator out of that thing nothing fazes me at this point, “Hmm, move the decimal, carry the 2….” After some seconds of her trying to make sense of whatever was written on that notepad she finally turns back to us, “Congratulations! You’re tied!”

“Tied?!” Applejack says surprised.

“You can’t be tied for the most daring pony!” Rainbow argued.

“And why not? At least it will get me home faster.” I quipped, but no one really paid any attention again.

“I dunno! Numbers don't lie!” Pinkie answers, showing us the notepad that is covered in nonsensical drawing and no score whatsoever, “I'd love to stay and keep keeping score, but I promised to help test the new school bell. I get to ring it all week, nonstop! And I don't even have to take turns because no one else volunteered!” And then she leaves, without as much as a goodbye or any sort of explanation for what the hell is written in that notepad or why, in the name of all the gods, a bell needs to be tested and why it hasn't been done so already since the thing has been replaced two days ago.

“Ok no problem, we just need to come up with another dare,” Rainbow says, looking around for anything that may give her an idea.

“I got one.” I say raising my hand in the air, “I dare you both to go home and to not disturb me with stupid shit for the rest of the day.”

She doesn't even bother answering me, instead giving one of her ‘just shut up Janos’ looks. She has become quite proficient at those lately. No idea why, though…

“Right.” Applejack brushes me off, “I think I got a good one.” She says, glancing in a foreboding manner at the Everfree forest.

Oh hell no.

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“I stand corrected, that wasn't stupid. This is.” I said as we crossed the little bridge leading to the Castle of the Royal Pony Sisters.

All the way here was filled with yet another case of the ghost presence plaguing my mind. You see, every once in a while, I’ll get this weird feeling, like I can feel some sort of presence, sometimes its close by, sometimes it’s on the other side of town. The weird thing is, it is not a bad feeling, like something dangerous or bad is nearby it is just a presence sometimes it’s even more than one in different directions. I still had not been able to find out just what it was or what it meant, so I decided to just kept it to myself and avoid another one of Twilight’s tests.

This time, there were two and they came from somewhere inside the castle, but it vanished as soon as Rainbow began talking.

“Can you stop complaining? Nopony asked you to come.” Rainbow shot back at me.

“Actually you did, said you needed a new judge.”

“Yeah? Well, I’m unasking you.”

“That’s not a word, dumbass.”

“Yeah? And who made you the dictionary, jerk?”

“School did, featherbrain.”

“Monkey.”

“Can you two stop bickering like a married couple?” Applejack asked, preventing me and Rainbow from starting another one of our endless insult competitions that would quickly ensue, “Whether or not it’s stupid doesn't matter, cause you know Rainbow and I are gonna see this through and you can’t let us go into the forest without protection.”

And she was right of course, once these two began their little contests, there was no stopping them until someone was declared the winner and I couldn't just let them go alone. Luckily I go everywhere with my rifle and knife, so at least if something happens I can shoot at it until it goes away or drops dead.

“Anyway, here we are.”

“Hey, that’s where we got the elements!” Rainbow noted as we passed the large stone doors of the castle. “So, now will you tell us what the dare is?”

“When I was just a filly, there was this old legend Granny Smith would tell us.” Applejack began, “When Nightmare Moon was banished not ever little bit of her dark magic went with her.” She made a sudden turn after walking inside the shadows, making her voice lower and more dramatic as she went, “It is said, that when night falls on the castle, that dark magic takes the form…” She paused a bit, “The Pony of Shadows!”

“Ugh,” Rainbow responded rolling her eyes.

“Seriously?” I said, not believing I got dragged all this for a ghost story. “And what’s the point? See who last the longest in the castle at night?”

“That’s right! It’s a bit cliched, but sometimes the classics are the best bet.” She answered proudly.

“Fine, but if we are going to do this, lets at least look around, no point in sitting on our asses all night.”

Applejack was right, no matter what, I would not be able to talk them out of it, so all that was left was to go through the night without an incident.

So we began walking around, the whole place was crumbing to pieces, there was not a single room left untouched in that castle, seemed like whatever happened when Nightmare Moon was banished was big and flashy, because it tore up a lot of pieces of this place, but the worst part was that everywhere we went no treasure was left. Not even some cutlery I could sell, with the exception of the occasional tapestries and carpets the whole place has been picked clean.

So yes, this was yet another stupid waste of my time.

“I don’t see what’s so daring about an old legend, besides, I don’t believe in silly ghosts,” Rainbow said, as we turned a corner back into the main hall and stopped for a moment at a big and blue tapestry hung over the wall.

As soon as she finished the sentence, however, it seemed fate had decided to call bullshit on that, as the tapestry began to shake and a strange voice moaned and for some reason seemed to be struggling with something.

“You might wanna rethink your position on that,” Applejack said, pointing to the big piece of fabric that was thrashing about, a couple of seconds passed where all we could hear where the strange sounds coming from the wall before both ponies began screaming and running for their lives.

“Are you serious?!” I yelled at them, “It’s just the freaking wind!” But to my disappointment, they just began to run faster after the air got filled with a loud thunder that echoed through the castle halls and a big shadow resembling a pony flashed before us, it seemed like that was the last straw, and both mares bolted for the nearest exit leaving me behind with a cloud of dust. “And the creepy shadow that’s honestly kinda scary.”

But I didn't stay alone for long. Before I could begin to give chase after the two definitely not bravest ponies around, the wall behind me spun around hitting me in the shoulder and dragging me along with it like a rag-doll, tossing me at the hooves of a white pony.

“Janos?! Whatever are you doing here darling?” Rarity asked, no doubt surprised that I just got served the rag-doll treatment by a wall.

“Something stupid,” I answered getting up and shaking the dust off my clothes.

“Oh my Janos, are you ok?” Fluttershy said making me realize she was right behind me with Angel looking concerned, making it clear that there wasn't really any ghost as I recognized her voice as the one beneath the tapestry when it started to move .

“I’ll be fine.” I answered, easing her look of concern, “But what are you two doing here? Don’t you know you’re not supposed to go into the forest without me?” Realizing my mistake I quickly corrected myself, “No scratch that, you’re not supposed to come here at all”.

“I just needed some inspiration and thought that maybe I could borrow some tapestries so I could restore them.” Rarity answered.

“And you dragged poor Fluttershy into this?”

“Well, I needed somepony to help me with the heavy lifting.” She answered. “Those drapes can be quite heavy you know?”

I actually do know, we've had to steal a set of ancient Persian decoration for a collector couple of years ago. The plan was to use a scaffold they used in the museum’s renovation to get the stuff from the fourth floor to the truck, the scaffold in itself was pretty old and rusty so in hindsight we should have seen that one coming. The moment we loaded the scaffold with the drapery the whole thing snapped and fell to the ground, luckily it was mostly intact but I still can’t believe we managed to sneak out with the rest of the decorations through the backdoor.

It was some of the weirdest jobs we took, the guy that hired us wasn't particularly interested in the vases and the smaller, easier, to carry goods. No, what he really wanted was the hundreds of feet of drapery they used to decorate the hall where they were displaying the rest of the stuff, when asked he just said he ‘had his reasons’ But the money was good and we cleaned up the whole exposition so the bonus was pretty good too, we tend not to ask a lot questions in those cases.

“You really need to learn how to say no kid.” I turned to Fluttershy, who had turned a light shade of red and tried to hide beneath her mane.

“It’s alright, I really don’t mind.” The timid pony answered, shifting in its place uncomfortably.

“You ok there?” I asked, noticing the way she was moving her right wing.

“It’s just a broken feather.” She answered flexing shaking her wing gently causing one of her feathers to flop around loosely. “It’ll grow back.”

“I’m so sorry Fluttershy. That tapestry is far too heavy, we will just have to find a smaller one.” Rarity said, looking rather guilty for getting her friend hurt.

“Come on people let’s get moving.” I said in an effort to get these mares on their way, “I've got to find those two numb-skulls before they do something dumb.” Noticing my mistake I quickly corrected myself, again, “Well, dumber actually.”

“Two? Did you come with somepony? And for that matter, why did you come here Janos?” Rarity asked catching up to me with Fluttershy right behind her.

“Rainbow and Applejack dragged me here in another one of their stupid competitions.” I quickly answered. “Look this place must be chock full of those little traps, so stay close to me and don’t leave my sight, the last thing I need is for someone to…” But I never got to finish talking because suddenly I heard the very distinct sound of a pressure plate being stepped in resonated in the castles halls.

The last thing I saw before the floor split open leaving us to fall in the pitch black darkness bellow us was that goddamn rabbit with a foot firmly placed in the trap and an inquisitive expression as he tried to determine what made that sound.

And as I fell in what seemed to be a bottomless pit I decided that if I managed to get back to Ponyville alive that night, I would be having a very tasty rabbit stew for lunch tomorrow.

But that hole wasn't bottomless and it didn't end with big cartoony spikes either. The only thing that greeted me down there was cold hard rock that hit me like a truck with nothing but my shoulder to break my fall.

Unlike me, who managed to hold back screaming while I fell to my apparent doom, the two ponies falling with me went down with the grace of a pig trying to shake off his wrangler in one of those competitions.

“I’m starting to wonder if maybe this castle doesn't want my expertise.” Was the first thing I heard after we hit the ground “Is everypony all right?” Rarity asked.

“I’m fine.” Fluttershy answered, “What about you two?”

“I seem to be mostly ok, Janos darling are you hurt?” Rarity asked after I failed to answer twice.

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll be ok,” I said, but that statement would be proven false as I tried to get up from the cold floor. Pain immediately filled my shoulder and right arm as I tried and failed to put some weight in it.

“Goodness, darling! What happened?” Both Rarity and Fluttershy asked when I let a very loud scream of pain as my shoulder failed to hold me and immediately came crashing down back to the ground.

Light suddenly filled the room as Rarity horn glowed with a soft blue light, and Fluttershy was right by my side lending me her neck so I could get up. Thanking her I wrapped my good arm around her and managed to get to a sitting position, leaning against the wall behind me.

“How come you two hardly got a scratch with that fall?” I asked when I finally managed to get a good look at both of them. While their coats and manes were certainly frazzled and dirtied, they held no injuries whatsoever despite the fact that we just fell what seemed to be several stories, I’m already pretty lucky that I’m not dead or gravely wound, these two were just saved by a miracle.

“I don’t know, I fell a long way, then something held me still for an instant before I hit the ground.” Rarity answered rubbing her chin in thought, “Maybe there is still some magic here, designed to hold the victims of this trap so that they don’t get hurt too badly.” She guessed, “Why didn't it affect you?”

“Twilight says magic goes a bit nuts around me, we’re lucky it worked for you two,” I answered immediately. I’m honestly getting very sick how magic seems to go out of her way to fuck with me.

By that point, Fluttershy was in the middle of helping me take my hoodie off so she could take a better look at my shoulder, “You sure you know what you’re doing? I’m not exactly a pony you know?” I asked once the hoodie came off revealing a black sleeveless t-shirt.

“He isn't hurt too badly is he?” Asked Rarity over the pegasus’s shoulder. She looked more worried than ever, seeing how it looked like a bone was trying to get out of my shoulder must have affected her a bit worse than I expected, then again Rarity doesn't strike me as someone with a very strong stomach.

“Well, I’m not exactly a veterinarian but I’m always helping my little animal friends at the cottage, and you’re still like a big monkey which I do have some sort of experience with.” I didn't like being compared to a monkey that much and I really don’t feel comfortable realizing that a vet could be better equipped to help me than a doctor in this world, but that honestly didn't feel like the moment to voice those sentiments.

Instead I let Fluttershy get to her work while I found a way out of this mess. The room we were trapped in had no windows, doors or any obvious exit, the ceiling seemed to have closed as we passed through since there was now a stone ceiling instead of a huge hole above us. The only opening I could see was a small hole in the wall right in front of me.

“I think you dislocated your shoulder,” Fluttershy announced, confirming one of my fears, I’ve been here for one week and I already got hurt twice, the burns and cuts I got in that forest hadn’t even fully healed yet and I already had more wounds to add to the list.

“Dislocated?! That isn't serious is it?” Rarity was sounding even more worried now, though if it was for my well-being or hers I couldn't tell.

“Relax, we’ll be fine.” I tried reassuring her, Rainbow and Applejack better make up for this bullshit. “Can you pop it back in place?” I asked her.

“Me? I don’t know, I’m not exactly qualified for this.” She quickly answered.

“Oh Celestia, we’ll die in here.”

“Didn't you say you help your animals all the time?” I asked, “Just pretend I’m one of them and do it.”

“Is this how it ends? In a dirty hole in the ground?”

“O-okay, I’ll do my best.” She took a deep breath and gripped my shoulder with her hooves (How is a question I’ll never be able to answer). “Inst it better to wait until you can see a doctor? It could be something else, or I could end up doing more bad than good.” Fluttershy was clearly grasping at straws here, trying to find an excuse not to do this.

“There is no doctor anywhere nearby and we won’t be able to get there on my shoulder like that.” I quickly explained, getting a tad angrier than I probably should be, “Fluttershy, we have to set the bone back or it’s gonna get worse by the minute.”

She nodded weakly at first, obviously very nervous about this whole situation but I can’t really blame her for that. But she took another deep breath closed her eyes and nodded more confidently, this time, at least she can work under pressure.

“Oh who knew it would be my love for fashion that would be my end? Fate is a cruel mistress indeed…” Something not everyone in this room can claim.

“Rarity, for the love of whatever gods you worship,” I swear to god if this woman doesn't shut up, I can’t be responsible for my actions. “Shut the fuck up, we’re going to get out of here.” This is why you don’t work with civilians, Janos. “Calm down and wait, I’ll get us out of here.” That seemed to at the very least comfort her a bit, she was still very frazzled, but the panicking went away.

“All right Fluttershy just let me know when- GODDAMMIT WOMAN!” I yelled in surprise and pain (But mostly pain) as she popped my shoulder back in its place in one swift motion. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” I almost shouted at her.

“I’m sorry! I'm sorry! I was worried you would flinch and end up hurting yourself if you knew when I was going to do it!” She answered, almost tearing up, she was obviously not used to being shouted at like that, instantly causing me to hate myself for the way I reacted.

“Fuck. I’m sorry Fluttershy.” I apologized after a deep breath to calm myself down from the shock, “It’s just been a shitty day and I sort of took it out on you.”

“Its ok, did I hurt you?” She asked, immediately fawning over my shoulder to make sure it was, in fact, ok.

“Don’t worry about it, I’ll live.” I took my hoodie and made a makeshift sling immobilize the shoulder, it wasn't ideal, but nothing about this day, or the whole week for that matter, had been ideal anyway, “Let’s get moving.” I said standing up.

“Wait?!” The pegasus suddenly shouted, “Where is Angel?” She frantically began to sweep the whole minuscule room as if hopping there was some bunny shaped hole somewhere where he could be hiding.

“He’s upstairs, he was a bit ahead of us so the trap door missed him,” I answered, omitting the fact the trap door wouldn't even have gotten us if it wasn't for him.

“What?” asked suddenly stopping her desperate search, “We have to find him! An ancient castle is no place for a bunny, he gets hit by falling debris. Oh! Or the floor could give out from under him, he could be trapped in a dark place with no way out!” Her freak out finally ended, leaving me and Rarity staring at each other not believing she didn't see the irony in her statement.

“I can’t even imagine what that would feel like.” Rarity finally said with sarcasm dripping from her voice, yeah lady, take comfort in the little things.

Like berating your friends.

Shrugging it off (Metaphorically of course.) I made my way to the small hole in the wall, seemed like It was big enough for me to get my arm through it, “Well, might as well get it over with. “ I muttered to myself as I began to carefully pass my hand through.

“You sure that’s wise darling?” Rarity asked, concerned that I could get even more hurt than before.

And I admit that’s a very wise concern that I appreciate and encourage her to keep worrying like that, but this is the moment where I earn my paycheck.

The hole wasn't that long, I quickly got to the other side of it and began feeling around for anything that could provide me with a way out this trap, and instead what I found was much unexpected. After a couple of seconds of moving around my hand grabbed something warm and soft, feeling around a bit I was certain I was feeling a coat and what I thought could be a mane, but before I could make sure, a muffled scream reached my ears and the creature I was touching bolted in what I could only assume was terror.

And the muffled and quiet sound of galloping gave an idea of just who was it behind that wall. “There’s someone on the other side of this wall,” I said, not wanting to jump to conclusions.

However I could not predict that Fluttershy was the kind to forego any sort of logic or reasonable thinking when she thinks her animals, or Angel, in particular, is in danger as she gleefully shouted “Angel!” and pushed me aside, suddenly oblivious of my still wounded shoulder, and shoved her own hoof through the hole.

Before I could berate her for acting like a goddamn idiot, however, the whole wall spun around several times tossing us to the other side, causing to land once again on my wound shoulder, and both ponies to land perfectly safe sitting down in confusion besides me.

“Oh.” Was all Fluttershy said after we all had enough time to realize what had happened?

And this time, I didn't contain myself.

“Fluttershy.” I said, slowly getting up and ignoring Rarity’s offer of help as she lowered her neck in the same way Fluttershy did before. “I’ll say this once and only once, understood.” I was now standing up, looking down at her as she realized the consequences of her actions, “When we are in a situation where your, or the well-being of any one of your friends is in danger, you will do as I say.” I stated, “You will walk, when I say walk, you will run when I say run.” I lowered myself so I was now eye to eye with the very scared pony and, despite Rarity’s requests for me to calm down, I continued, “And you will stay when I say stay. Because if you ever do anything to ruin this for me, I will tie you down like a bull in a rodeo and drag you around like sack of potatoes all the way to Celestia herself. Because trust me when I say I won’t let anyone get in my way, especially the six of you.” I then gave her a moment to let all that I said sink in before ending with “Am I understood?”

She didn't answer for a while, instead, she tried desperately to hide underneath her own mane, trying her best to avoid my gaze.

“Well?” I asked, getting impatient.

But she never answered, Rarity quickly shoved us apart with her magic and stood protectively between me and the terrified pegasus. “Janos, it is clear she didn't mean to hurt you in any way, this was just an unfortunate mistake that she won’t make again.” Rarity spoke with an authority I never heard her use before, “Now apologize right this instant, this is no way to talk to a friend or anyone for that matter.” She demanded, clearly furious with the way I treated her friend.

For a while we just stood there, staring at each other’s eyes. I had to give it to her, despite what I was seeing of these ponies in general Rarity was holding her ground perfectly, she didn't flinch when I locked eyes with her nor did she falter when we stayed like this for long seconds. It was even very intimidating, in a way I still hadn't seen these ponies be.

“It’s getting late, let’s find the others and find a safe spot to spend the night.” I finally broke eye contact and turned to follow the direction where the hoof steps I had heard were going.

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The rest of the way was spent in silence, the especially awkward kind, after Fluttershy and Rarity caught up to me, the pegasus did apologize in the usual quiet tone of voice she usually falls back into. I didn't acknowledge her.

It was taking me that long to calm myself, it is a known fact back home that people should give me plenty of space when I get really angry, and I know very well how easily I lose control when I get that pissed. Honestly, I know this is a huge character flaw of mine, and I don’t have Carol to keep me grounded anymore, as if that’s really what I need from her.

If she were here a wounded and rapidly swollen shoulder would be the least of my problems after the way I treated Fluttershy, Carol would eat me alive if she had seen me lose my temper like that.

Goddamnit. How I miss my little sister.

I’ll have to apologize to Fluttershy, but later, right now I need to find Rainbow Dash and Applejack, once we’re all together and have found a place in this damned castle that isn't trying to kill us, then I’ll make it up to her.

It was then we reached a literal fork in the road, in a vain effort to find out where they had gone I lowered myself to the ground and placed my ear on the ground, but I obviously heard nothing.

“Where do you think they went?” Rarity asked as they stopped behind me.

“No clue, I had only heard them coming in this general direction.” I answered, “Do you two hear anything? Those big ears of yours must be better than mine.”

Fluttershy didn't answer, instead keeping her gaze fixed on the ground as she had the whole way here, but the little twitch in her ears told me she heard me. Rarity nodded in understanding and also stopped to listen for anything that could give us a clue.

But it seemed we were out of luck.

“I can’t hear anything.” Rarity finally announced, grunting in annoyance.

“Me neither.” Said Fluttershy, so quietly I’m surprised I manage to catch it.

“Then left it is,” I announced to the group and proceeding ahead. “Stay close to me.”

“Why left?” Rarity asked, “For somepony that doesn't know where they went that was a very confident decision.” She finished, sticking close to me as did Fluttershy after a moment of hesitation.

“A very wise old man once taught me that when in doubt you should always follow your nose.” I answered, “The right path smelled a bit bad to me.”

“That doesn't seem like a particularly wise thing to say to me.” Rarity answered raising an eyebrow in doubt.

“I’ll let this one slide because you don’t know who I am talking about.” I told her, “But you ever let me catch you say Gandalf wasn't one the most awesome dudes ever, I’m afraid I’ll have to slap you across your pretty little white cheeks.” I jokingly threatened her with a warm smile. “And you know what cheeks I’m talking about” She immediately blushed a bright shade of red, before letting out a very ladylike ‘humpf’ and putting in some extra distance between me and her.

After a very long set of stairs and another hallway we ended up in the throne room, once again it was practically wiped clean, the only reason no one took the thrones must have been because they were made of the same stone of the wall that they were connected to. The ceiling had a huge hole, like if someone blasted it open with an explosion, and the debris around told me that that must be what actually happened.

But that’s not what Rarity was concerned with, naturally, the first things she noticed where the worn out and ragged tapestries hung above the thrones, with a rather weird and scary laugh she bolted for them ignoring my attempts to keep her close.

“What have we just established?!” I angrily asked as me and Fluttershy reached her, “Stay close to me goddamnit, who knows what kind of traps that thing is covered in?”

“I agree with Janos, Rarity, maybe we should just let it be.” Fluttershy agreed, the probable immediate danger her friend was putting herself in by climbing on the throne and trying to get a good look at what was holding the blue tapestry on the wall.

“Nonsense, it will just be a moment darlings.” She said, firing up her magic and beginning to yank on the tapestry to make it come down from the wall. I quickly reached over with my good arm and turned her so that she was facing me.

“We are not doing this right now.” I said, “When we are done with this bullshit, I’ll come back take these things downs and bring them to you if it’s that important to you, but right now we will find Rainbow and Applejack find a safe place to sleep and go back to Ponyville in the morning, am I clear?” And then I will demand my share of the profit for doing the most dangerous part of the work, but I’m sure she can live with a forty percent share.

Who am I kidding? She’ll be lucky to get thirty.

“But Janos, it will take far too long for your shoulder to heal.” She whined, “I have to seize this moment of inspiration now, as my creativity is at full strength, waiting that long would risk losing this precious opportunity.” For the love of god.

“I’m sorry but my job is to make sure you get through this night alive, not give in to the inner pretentious artist that’s trying to get you dropped in a big hole like last time,” I answered, refusing to give in to her whining, I’m sick and tired of this place and I won’t let it get the drop on me again.

With some effort, I manage to get her off the throne and back on our way.

“Now let’s go find those two very stupid ponies that got me in this hellish place in the first place.” I was practically pushing her with my working shoulder while she stubbornly tried to keep me from getting out of the throne room.

“Yes and we have to find Angel bunny,” Fluttershy added, helping me by pushing my waist with her neck.

Finally, she conceded. “Fine. But you have to promise me that you’ll get them to me as soon as possible Janos.” She turned to face me as she made her demands.

“I promise Rarity, now can we please go?” But that clearly wasn't enough for her, since she frowned and scrunched her face up in annoyance. It was surprisingly cute.

“That’s not enough, you have to Pinkie Promise.” She demanded.

“What?” I asked, “You people don’t even have fingers” What is she going on about now?

“What do fingers have to do with it?” She asked, clearly as confused as me, but she quickly shook it off. “You must do it, Pinkie Promises are sacred.” She answered, “Repeat after me: Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye” She recited the blasted thing almost religiously all the while following up with the motions that involved drawing a cross over their chests and poking their eyes with a hoof.

I could only stand there staring in disbelief, but the look on Rarity’s face told me she would not give in before I accepted her terms so with a long sigh I rubbed my temples, or one of my temples, since one of my arms was currently locked in place and attempting to do anything with it.

“Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye” I recited the promise and did the motions and almost instantly Rarity smiled in triumphant joy and began making her way out of the throne room, “Just remember darling. No one breaks a Pinkie Promise.” She stated suddenly, with a grim expression and a funeral tone of seriousness in her voice, before suddenly reverting back to her gleeful self and walking away.

And my decision to get Rarity the hell off that throne proved to be a very wise one as the sound of an organ echoed through the castle and in the second note, the throne spun around several times just like the walls had done to us several times.

“Girls?” I called to call their attention, they didn't answer for they were too busy staring with disbelief at the throne trying to figure out what just happened, “Do Rainbow or Applejack know how to play the organ?” I asked already knowing the answer, and as I thought both of the mares shook their heads in denial.

“Then who is playing this thing?” I asked, once again knowing that the answer was probably not going to make me happy.

--------------------------------------------------xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx------------------------------------------------

It didn't take long for us to start moving again, despite our weariness after stumbling through this place the whole night, we found we had much more energy stored away in our bodies it just needed the right motivations to show up.

And the creepy organ gave plenty of that.

Now, I’m not one to believe in ghost stories, in fact, I’m usually a rather skeptic guy, we had plenty of jobs where our clients hired us to steal supposedly supernatural or magic objects but it usually turned to just be really old stuff that people believed for some weird reason had magical powers.

However considering that in the past week I have been living with magical talking and colorful ponies after arriving in their world by falling out of an inter-dimensional portal. So I’m not really in a position to say that something does or does not exist with a lot of conviction.

For all, I know this Pony of Shadows is a totally legit thing and we are about to die horribly in his claws, well, metaphorical claws anyway.

So it was with much caution that we made our way through this hall, which suddenly looked much more frightening than usual. Because of my training, I could focus on the task at hand and don’t freak out, the two ponies following me, however? Oh, they were freaking the fuck out, ragged breath, dilated pupils, and ears standing fully at attention, they were terrified. Those two would jump at any motion or noise, to the point that they were making me uneasy by how frequently they were reacting to the slightest of things around us.

Soon we made it back to the entrance, and they immediately picked up the pace probably trying to get out of here as fast as possible leaving me behind holding my knife with my left hand.

“Stick close to me you two,” I whispered trying to be as commanding as I could while also being as quiet as I could, they just turned around to face me, I wasn't even sure if they heard but the fact that they kept moving despite the fact that they were now not even looking at where they were going.

Which, as I noticed seconds before they turned, was perfect.

Because that was the moment I saw Rainbow Dash flying down from a hole in the ceiling and that Applejack emerged from another hallway across from where I and the other girls came. And all of them was doing the same thing, slowly making their way to the center of the big lobby with their backs turned to the direction in which they were walking, with their attention focused solely on the path behind them.

And for a moment I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I had to force my expression to remain neutral so that Rarity and Fluttershy wouldn't notice anything, and while I’m usually very capable of keeping my emotions from showing on my face, right then and there that proved to be a gargantuan task.

That was the one and only chance I had to redeem this day, and fortunately, it did not disappoint. Against all odds all four of them reached the center at the same moment, and as soon as they bumped each other with their rears, all chaos broke loose.

There was screaming, running, wailing, pleading for their lives and for some odd reason Fluttershy ended up weeping uncontrollably while she tried to lift a column that Rainbow accidentally knocked out while she was flying aimlessly and naturally hitting everything in her way like a rainbow colored pinball.

Rarity ended up running around covered in one of the tapestries that were hanging on the walls, and once again it was Rainbow’s terror induced flying style that knocked the thing off its place, and she soon accepted her fate and decided to simply sit and, just like Fluttershy, weep uncontrollably.

The end result was priceless, and I was laughing joyfully ever since they first started screaming. The fact that despite the fact I was standing right there in plain view of them laughing my ass off only made it all the more surreal that they failed to see me entirely.

Unfortunately my fun would be cut short by a voice that came from the balcony above, “All right everypony. STOP!” She announced, and a pulse of purple magic burst from the balcony covering everyone in a purple hue and paralyzing them, the silence that would befall them would certainly be very awkward as they realized what they were freaking out about. However that silence never came, the only thing was my roaring laughter as I did my best to make sure my shoulder didn't hit anything during my laughing fit.

“Twilight?” Applejack asked, very surprised to see Twilight and Spike up on the balcony.

“Must. Save. Angel.” Fluttershy was the only one that seemed to notice the whole paralysis thing, but she soon got a hold of the situation when she ended up seeing the bunny she was so worried about standing right next to Twilight. “Oh.” She immediately blushed and she would probably proceed to follow the usual protocol of hiding beneath her mane but the paralysis thing didn't really help her there.

“Fluttershy?” This time, it was Rainbow’s turn to suddenly become aware of her surroundings, “What are you doing here?”

“She’s with me!” Answered Rarity from beneath the tapestry.

“Oh man.” I finally managed to catch a breath, “That was priceless.” I added, still laughing a bit every time I stopped to think about it.

Meanwhile, Twilight was removing the spell she cast on her friends and walking down the stairs to meet us earning a ‘thank you’ from Rarity as she removed the big piece of cloth covering her. “Have you all spent the whole night running around scaring one another?” She asked, very interested in figuring out just what the hell that whole act was about. “And what happened to your arm?!” She finally took a good look at me and noticed the makeshift sling holding my arm in its proper place.

“We fell down a big hole.” I simply answered, getting her even more confused than before.

“And about the whole scaring each other thing? Well, that depends actually.” Applejack took on the task of answering her first question for me

“On what?” Twilight quickly asked. I can almost see the gears turning on her pretty little head, and every time it looks like they’re gonna settle on an answer one of us says something that makes the whole process reset.

It’s actually very amusing.

“On whether or not you’re the Pony of Shadows.” And there we go, Rainbow’s answer was all she needed to determine the problem, these ponies are all idiots. I've suspected from the beginning.

“What’s the pony of shadows?” Spike was already shaking from just the mention of our hopefully friendly and misunderstood shadowy friend, I’m still hoping he’s just a prankster we can simply forgive and be on our way. I’m really not keen on fighting a creature of shadows with this shoulder, actually,I’m not keen on having anything to do with a creature of shadows.

“Oh, it’s just an old pony’s tale,” Twilight answered, quickly dismissing whatever dumb superstition her friends were being stricken with.

But it seemed that just like always in this messed up place, the universe took issue with that statement. As soon as the words came out of the purple pony’s mouth the pipe organ resumed playing instantly causing every single pony present to huddle around Twilight like ducklings to their mother.

“Wow.” I deadpanned, “You people are definitely the bravest national heroes I've ever met.” I finished in fake admiration.

“I-I’m not scared!” Rainbow all but yelled for everyone to hear, quickly letting go of Twilight, “I’m totally ok with it, we can take down any-“Pause for mandatory dry swallowing in fear, “Shadow pony.” Needless to say, she wasn't as sure of herself on that last part as she was when she began speaking.

“Ye-yeah, me neither.” Applejack stepped up in the same fake bravado.

“Just drop the act, you both lost the contest,” I said.

“What!? How?! Why?!” Rainbow quickly shot through the air towards me stopping just inches from my face. “You disappeared on the first five minutes how the hay do you know whether or not we were brave?”

“Because that’s how long it took for both of you to start running and screaming like two scared little fillies,” I answered without flinching.

“Can we focus on what’s important here?” Twilight quickly intervened before Rainbow could speak, but that didn't stop her from mumbling what I’m lead to believe were very unkind things about me. “Like finding out who is playing that organ?”

“Hang on a second there Missy.” Quickly grabbing her tail I managed to stop her from taking the other sacredly little lambs right to the butcher, “You’re not coming with me.”

“What? Why not?”

“Because it could be dangerous,” I answered.

“Ha! How does it feel to be on that end of the conversation?” Spike asked her, looking rather smug about it with his arms crossed.

But Twilight didn't really acknowledge that. Sometimes I feel bad for the little guy.

“Don’t tell me you buy this whole Pony of Shadows nonsense?” She tried waving her arms around in an effort to mock the whole idea of a Pony of Shadows but the proximity of her other friends held her in place, “Will you girls get off me?” She asked, getting very annoyed at this whole situation, and while Fluttershy and Rarity were very uneasy about letting, they eventually did.

“I’m not dismissing anything, for all I know it could very well be one of those.” Ok, so let’s go over the plan. There is no plan, I can’t shoot with my arm busted and I’m pretty sure that my knife won’t do that much damage against some magical whatever. But, it could be just another pony of someone else. But my line of thought was interrupted by a very pretentious laugh of the purple princess besides me.

“I’ll let you off, this time, Janos because you’re not from around here.” She began, “But that sort of thing just isn't real, it’s like ghosts or curses it’s all just superstition and misinformation.” She finished explaining looking very proud of herself.

“So let me get this straight.” I began my own argument, “Magic is totally a thing that happens but ghosts is where you draw the line?”

“Hey, magic is different! Magic is when-“ Twilight was probably going to turn this into another one of her lectures, but I knew better than to let her finish.

“Ok ok, it has rules or whatever, but let me rephrase my question.” I cleaned my throats momentarily and continued, “Extra-dimensional beings falling from the sky are very real, but ghosts are where you draw the line?”

That seemed to give her some pause, as she slowly glanced down considering the new information Applejack agreed with me, “He does have a point sugar cube.”

“Yeah but-“Twilight shot her face up again before stopping mid-sentence, “Ugh! Fine!” Women never want to admit when they’re wrong, something’s just never change, no matter what dimension or planet you’re in. “But you still can’t go alone, you’re in no shape to deal with anyone let alone a Pony of Shadows!” She said that last two words almost like it physically hurt her to get it out of her throat.

“Puh-lease Twilight, I can deal with whatever this place throws at me with a hand tied behind my back.” I answered, “Or an arm tied to my front, whatever.” Quickly corrected after I remembered the improvisational sling.

But despite my attempt to joke it off she remained adamant, “You’re not going alone! That’s an order from your Princess.” She declared, proud of herself for coming up with that.

“Cute.” Was the only response I dignified that feeble attempt to try to get me to do what she wants, “Here, take this and find a safe spot to wait for me, where were you and Spike hiding?” I handed her my rifle since it would just end up getting in my way. Wait a second, I just remembered something. “And when this is all over we will have a long talk about what a stupid decision coming here alone is and how I must always be present for anything even remotely as dangerous as this.”

“See, I told you we should have waited for him.” Spike lectured Twilight, good to know there at least someone here with their heads on their shoulders, even if he is an infant.

“We’re getting off topic here.” Twilight quickly changed subjects to something that isn't focused on her piss poor decision-making skills, “How are you supposed to deal with whatever it is you’re going to deal with without your weapon?”

“The rifle is useless if I only got one hand to hold it, besides who said I’m going to fight the guy? Or creature? Whatever.” This much should be obvious Twilight, you saw me using it before. “I’m just going to sneak up there and see what it is that’s doing this then I’ll decide what to do next.”

“So your plan is to make it up as you go?” Rainbow stepped in, to which I responded immediately.

“What do you think I've been doing since I dropped in here?”

“Look I agree with Twilight, you shouldn't go there by yourself, especially in your condition.” Applejack also decided to chime in, “We weren't helpless before we met you, and we sure as hay ain't helpless now.”

“AJ is right darling, we’re a team and we do this as a team.” And just like that everyone decided to butt in, with Rarity being the most recent.

“If Rarity’s going, then I’m going!” The baby dragon proudly proclaimed puffing his chest out, it wasn't the least bit as impressive as he thought it was but, hey at least he got a chuckle and a thank you from her.

“Umm yes, I think we should all go.” Fluttershy agreed, venturing a look at me from beneath her mane, but she instantly hid away again once our eyes met. “If that’s ok with you of course.” Yeah, I may be a little pissed.

“Look.” I can’t believe I have to explain this, “It’s not about whether or not you can handle yourselves, but if I have to sneak around then it will be a hell of a lot easier if I don’t have six mares and a baby dragon to worry about.”

They seem to understand that, well, most of them.

“Fine, then just one pony.” Rainbow said, stepping up as if taking on this challenge herself, “I can fly so even if something happens I can totally get both of us out of there before you can even say how awesome I am.”

“Well, Janos certainly makes a good point.” Rarity pondered, “But I would be more comfortable with somepony went with him.”

“Yes, and Rainbow’s right, one pony would be easier to take and she is the only one that could flee and take Janos with her.” Twilight agreed.

“Sure, I guess.” Applejack also agreed with the plan, even if she looked a bit reluctant about it. "Still don't really like this."

Once again the pipe organ sounded in the castle, at least I know he’s still in the same place, “You know what? Fine, you can come.” I relented, at least it’s just one, “But under one condition.”

“Name it.” She certainly looks eager about it, I’m just not sure if that’s good or bad.

“This can’t go down like back in Canterlot, if I tell you to run Rainbow, you run. Even if that means leaving me behind” I emphasized the last sentence by poking her puffed out chest once, “Got it?” Hopefully, she’ll listen this time.

“Got it.” She saluted (How the hell do their hooves reach all the way up there like that?) and started to march following the sound of the organ that seemed to be playing more constantly now.

“The rest of you hide.” I turned to the rest of the group that was now wishing us good luck, “Anyone knows a place?”

“Yeah, the hidden chamber in the library seemed secluded enough.” Twilight answered me.

“Good, go there and hide, we’ll find you when we are done.” And with that we each went our ways. Rainbow and I towards whatever it is was waiting for us and Twilight led the others to safety.

I just hope Twilight’s right about all this.

--------------------------------------------------xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx------------------------------------------------

“This so cool.” Rainbow must have said that at least three times since we separated from the rest of the group. ‘This is like one of your old jobs right? Sneaking around an old castle hunting the target…”

“I’m a thief Dash, not Van Helsing.” I said, putting a stop to her wild stories, “And the whole point of stealth is not to be noticed. So shut up.”

That seemed to get her to stay quiet, but I knew it was just a temporary measure, soon she will be bored of taking careful and slow steps and staying with her mouth shut.

“So.” What did I say? “Don’t you think this is taking, you know, forever?” She suddenly forgets my previous order and takes flight so she can stay right above me, arching her neck so she is looking at my head that is currently right beneath her dangling legs. “C’mon, I sure it won’t hear us if we pick up the pace a little.”

“What did we agree upon when I let you come?”

“Oh please, I would have come anyway.” She dismissed me with a wave of her hoof, “You know me.”

Yes, I know you’re impossible. “Dash if you’re gonna help me with this I got to trust you to follow my lead, if you can’t even be patient then I won’t let you come with me anymore. And trust me when I say you haven’t seen me pissed yet so don’t even try to pester me like you did back there.”

She obviously didn't like that, I could see from the way her face told me how boring she thought I was, but luckily she listened, for what seems like the first time ever since we met. She landed again and began to follow my instructions to be quiet and walk at my pace.

Though I do get her, this kind of thing gets boring and frustrating really fast and it doesn't help that we've been at this since the start, but the organ sounded close so I would rather not risk whoever is there knowing we’re coming.

From what I could hear the so-called Pony of Shadows was in the room just ahead, the organ was playing nonstop now so it was pretty easy to follow it all the way here.

“All right, here’s what we’re going to do.” I said once we were close to the archway, “Stay behind me and follow my lead got it?” Rainbow nodded in understanding but I wasn't really convinced.

“I got it all right. Follow your lead.” She finally said after I stared at her for a couple of seconds. Seems the message got through.

Slowly I inched my way towards the archway and ventured a peak into the room inside.

It did not look good, looked like it was some sort of dance room I think. The organ was front and center as if it was the whole point of the room, which could actually be true. The worst part was the fact that there was absolutely no cover between us and the organ, the good part was that with the organ making so much noise, it would make it harder to hear us approaching. And the guy seemed totally absorbed in the music

But one thing is for certain, that is definitely a hood and that is definitely no some darkness incarnated.

“This doesn't look good.” I whispered to the now very excited pony besides me, what happened to the whole Pony of Shadows thing is really scary from earlier? But then I got a good look at her, she wasn't shuffling about because he was impatient, she was scared. Really scared by the look on her face.

“Hey.” I said in an attempt to get her to stop mulling over whatever it is she was, “If you wanna-“ But then I stopped myself, it wouldn't be right to just send her off now would it? I mean it would probably be the smart thing to do, since it gets her out of danger's way, but this kid was scared from the start and she still volunteered, she tried to overcome her fear to help. So even if she was running at shadows and thunder, when the going got tough and someone had to step up to keep her friends safe, she did. I can respect that, and it wouldn't be fair to me to undermine that all by treating her like she couldn't handle it.

This time it was Rainbow pulling me out of my musings, “Want to what?” She asked me once I took too long to go on.

“Fly over the archway slowly so he doesn't see you crossing it, when you’re on the other side we’re gonna move in and try to get him by surprise, if we’re flanking him we have a better chance of pulling it off.”

She mock-saluted once again and began to follow my instructions before I grabbed her tail and she shot her head back at me, “And hey, you got this. Just relax and follow my lead.” I reassured her.

Rainbow answered with a smile that told me she got it and I let go, she swiftly and silently made her way to the other side of the archway, landing with a bit of a flourish.

Ok, I’m not as sure of this as I was a moment ago, but then again, if Carol was here she would remind me I used to be just like that. Well, those were simpler times. Times when we thought we were invincible, life has a way of proving you wrong about that kind of stuff. Icarus and flying close to the sun all that crap.

But I’m rambling, I gave motioned for her to follow me and entered the room, the sound of the organ seemed like it was even louder than before, but that might be the adrenaline building up. I pulled my knife and got ready for this whole thing to go to hell. That’s how you stay on top of these things, always expect the worst, it might have made me a pessimist sometimes but at least I’m usually pleasantly surprised.

We were halfway there now, and suddenly I was very aware of the fact that my main arm was out of commission and would only be a liability if a fight broke out, but Rainbow would pull us out if anything got too bad for us to handle.

I pause to look back, but Rainbow seemed like she was ready for anything. She had a low pose like a big cat ready to pounce and her wings were spread out so she could take off as soon as needed, the fierce look of her face didn't fool me. She was scared, but so is everyone when the time comes.

Soon I was within distance to have a go at him, I gave Dash another glance and she nodded in understanding but got caught by surprise when she saw my left hand raised with the knife in my grasp, she was obviously a bit shaken up by the implications but luckily she knows it’s just in case the worst happens. The last thing I want is more blood on my hands.

And just like that I shot forward, letting the training take over I grabbed the figure by the collar of his robe, or at least what passed by it, and pulled him to me dropping him with his back to floor, quickly I got over him and straddled him to prevent him from trying to squirm away, I was just about to press my knife to his neck when something gave me pause.

When his hood got pulled over it revealed a very familiar pink and puffy mane and when I got on top of the guy it became clear why it was so familiar.

Because it wasn't a guy, and it definitely wasn't some Pony of Shadows. It was…

“Pinkie Pie?!” Thank you, Rainbow.

Her goofy laughter quickly filled the room as efficiently as the organ she was playing, “Hey guys! Did you know I could totally play the organ? Because I didn't!”

I would facepalm but the knife in my hand made that very dangerous, so I settled for breathing a sigh of relief that I didn't need to fight some dude while using only my left hand and proceeding to put the knife away.

“You’re the Pony of Shadows? “Rainbow quickly flew up to us so that her head was just over my shoulder.

“The Pony of what?” Pinkie asked without really giving a damn about the question. “So Jay-Jay are we gonna be like this the whole night or are you planning on getting off me anytime soon?” She suddenly asked me, with a tone of voice that I would rather not go into details right now.

I don’t have to say just how quickly I stood up at that. Dammit, phrasing Janos. Phrasing.

Anyway, I got off her, could swear she muttered ‘shame’ to herself but it’s my personal choice to believe none of that ever happened so if you ask me about I’ll just deny it.

“So what exactly where you doing here?” I asked once I recovered from the shock of finding a pink pony here. Right, when I was giving her credit for being the only one smart enough to stay away from this place when I’m not around.

“Yeah, didn't you have to ring the school bell or something?” Rainbow asked, proving herself better than me at remembering what other people’s schedules are.

“Oh yeah.” She agreed, “But I only got to ring it for like five minutes then they said it was good enough. Huh, can’t imagine why…” Oh yeah, what could possibly have it been, I’m sure the fact she was ringing a huge bell for five minutes straight couldn't possibly be related to it.

And don’t try to tell me she didn't mean five minutes at once. We all know better.

“But then I decided to throw a finish ringing the school bell party, but I didn't have any blue bells and you can’t throw a finish ringing the school bell party without-“She could probably have gone on longer than that but quite frankly? I’m exhausted and hurt and fuck this.

I grabbed her snout which seemed to be the most efficient way to shut her up without hurling baked goods at her face. “Stop. It’s a stupid reason I get it, and I really don’t care about the whole story” I then immediately turned around and began what was probably going to be a long and chatty walk to the library of the castle.

She didn't seem offended, but I honestly think the list of things that manage to offend that pony are limited to party related faux passes and bakery stuff like when I told her I didn't really like sweets that much. Big mistake.

“C’mon lets find the others.” I said when inquired by Rainbow Dash over just what the hay was I doing, and they began to follow closely after me so I ended up knowing the whole reason why she came here. “I really need a strong drink."

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We found the library pretty quickly, and following Twilight’s instructions to bang on the table with the Jewish looking candle holder thrice (I really can’t remember what she called it and we know Rainbow was surely not listening at that point.)

So we found ourselves each doing our stuff while Twilight finished reading the journal she found. Fluttershy was catching up with Angel because god knows she was terrified for that bunny so I happy that’s not a problem I have to deal with anymore.

Rainbow is retelling our little ‘Siege of the Cursed Dance Room’ to Applejack, and I don’t think I have to say how embellished that story is. But Applejack is obviously not having none of that so at least I don’t have to intervene.

Rarity finally had a tapestry to restore though she still didn't let off the hook with my promise, so I guess I’ll be coming back once my shoulder has healed.

And me? I’m just sitting there for now, exhausted and glad this whole thing is over. I already lectured them and they said they won’t do it again but I’m sure I'll have some other equally frustrating bullshit to deal with soon enough.

“So darling.” Rarity called for my attention from right next to me, we happened to be sharing one of those cushion they use for chairs around here, and she was working on the tapestry while leaning against my arm, my good one of course, I let it slide since it’s been a long day for all of us. “I believe we haven’t had much chance to talk lately. Or ever for that matter.” She continued after I grunted in acknowledgement.

“No we haven’t.” I answered, earning a rather nasty look from Twilight, ‘Play nice’ it seemed to tell me. “What would you like to talk about?” I asked, keeping the conversation going.

“Well, first of all I would like to thank for taking such good care of us.” She stopped working and turned to look at me, “I really appreciate your commitment.”

“Hey, I’m getting paid a lot of money,” I answered her, still not meeting her eyes.

“Well, regardless of your reasons, I can definitely say that I feel much safer under your watch after today.” Rarity turned her focus back to the piece of cloth before her, “It is certainly nice to know I have such a gentlecolt to protect me.”

“Don’t mention it.” Now it’s Spike giving me the stink eye. God kid, you couldn't be more obvious if you wore a neon sign around your neck with the words ‘I want to tap that.’ In bright bold letters and an arrow pointing at her.

“So with that out of the way.” She spoke quickly, “How have you been adapting to Ponyville?”

“It’s a bit tough I guess.”

“How so.” She asked, some concern notable in her voice.

“First of all I’m very used to the big cities, so Ponyville is quite different from back home.” I began, “But the biggest part is all the attention. Back in New York people on the street don’t give a crap who you are, sometimes they seem so jaded that you start to believe they wouldn't notice the giant dude holding back the subway line is actually an nine foot tall alien until he starts shooting everyone and demanding to be taken to their leader.”

“Really?” She was taken a little by surprise with my comment but still managed to sound composed, “Go on.”

“But here it’s like everyone is so very aware of me, I step out of the house and suddenly all eyes are on me, like they have this kind of Janos radar that beeps every time I’m within eye sight. The other day I was helping Twilight and Spike with the grocery, I think it was the day after we arrived, and I bumped into this mare who instantly yelled ‘The horror! The horror!’ and fainted on the spot.”

“Oh that’s just Rose or one of her friends-“But I stopped her before she could go on.

“Yeah, I know, Twilight told me about it and even gave her bit of a scolding.” To which Twilight took as her cue to intervene.

“I told you Janos, ponies of Ponyville are pretty set on her ways and tend to be scared of anything that looks too different to them.” She gave me the summarized version of the talk we had that day. “I told you about Zecora.”

“Yeah, yeah I know. Just not used to this whole thing.”

“Don’t worry darling, just give them some time and they’ll soon see you as just another neighbor.” Yeah, I’m afraid of that.

“I’ll deal with it. I always do.” I can tell even she wasn't sure whether that was supposed to reassure me or her.

“And you won’t have to it alone you know?” Twilight butted in once again, and I knew I had to stop her before she went on in one little speeches about how friendship is fun and the answer to all that ails you.

“Yes Twilight, friendship will heal all that ails me.” I retorted with a bit more venom in my sarcasm than I’d intended, “It’s like freaking panacea. Just shove it down your throat and it never fails”

The awkward silence was immediate, why the hell do I keep losing my cool like that? You’re a professional Janos freaking act like one. Even Rarity is now keeping her distance instead of relaxing by leaning on you. “I’m sorry for snapping like that. Hasn't been a good day.”

“Yeah, I know.” She answered, still a bit stunned, I don’t think I ever talked to her like that. “Its ok, I know you didn't mean it.” She quickly added.

I’m just doing great today aren't I? First Fluttershy twice, now Twilight what’s next? Going to yell at Applejack’s grandma? Or maybe you could just let it all loose and punch the next pony that looks at you wrong?

Get a hold of yourself Janos.

“I need some air.” Without waiting for an answer I got up and left the room, returning to the empty library. Choosing a direction at random I start walking to the right until I came across another balcony that overlooks the forest outside, sort of like the one on Twilight’s Library, small, cozy the only difference being that this one had a better view and was made of stone.

I’m doing a lot of this recently aren't I? Done it in the train on the way here and I’m pretty sure it’s become a habit of mine ever since I began my stay at Twilight’s. Just looking at the horizon as if a way out of this mess will, by miracle, show up before me.

I’m finally starting to lose it. I've been fighting back ever since I got here, trying not to think about it and it was easy when I had other stuff to worry about it, at the forest and at Canterlot with Celestia and Luna, but now? Now there is only the grim reality that I’m as alone here as I've been all my life.

Even more so, I don’t even have her with me, or Garrett. Fuck, I would even be happy if that lazy bastard I call a partner Barry was here and that says a lot.

Who am I kidding? I would be ecstatic to find anything that didn't walk on all fours in this place.

What am I going to do? I’m not finding a way back, I know I was set at not believing what Celestia told me, that someone, anyone, would be able to find a way back but c’mon Janos, you know there’s no way back.

This is it for you. Vanishing into thin air just like Garrett did. Without a fucking trace.

“Umm, is it okay if I come in?” A soft voice suddenly pulled me away from the whirlwind of thoughts that was going on in my head. “Or come out I guess?” Fluttershy of all ponies was standing at the archway very unsure of herself. This kid obviously came here on impulse alone, she has the look of someone who got really worked up to do something but then realized she has no idea where to go from there.

“Sure.” So, gonna be a piece of shit to her again? Twice wasn't enough? At least man up and apologize.

She just quietly thanked me and slowly walked up to my side where she just stood there looking over the horizon silently.

And suddenly I’m reminded of the train ride back where Twilight’s little pep talk started out in the same exact way.

We seemed to stay like that for hours, just standing next to each other, listening to each other breathe and stare into nothing, almost as if we were both trying to figure out what to say to the other but knew that it wouldn't really matter unless the words were just right.

“You know I decided I was going to try to come here and cheer you up.” Fluttershy finally broke the ice, “But I got here and realized that I wouldn't be able to.”

“Well at least you’re being honest about it.” God, I just can’t stop myself today.

But she seemed to take it the right away at least, she let out a small and very cute chuckle that I could hardly hear, but since it was so silent out here already then it somehow managed to reach my ears.

“At least not with words. You see, the thing is.” She started again, looking a bit surer of herself now. “I don’t think anything I or the other girls say can actually help you right now. Because no matter how much we try or wish, we can’t really understand what you’re going through, so everything we say will just seem small and meaningless for you, not because you don’t care but because how could we know what will help you if we have no idea what it feels like to be in your situation?” Fluttershy then took a deep breath and turned face me, “So I’m not going to tell you that you’re not alone, and I’m not going to say that everything will be fine with some time. I’ll just have to show you.” She reared up and balancing on her hind legs placed her front legs on my shoulders, the left one actually, and pushed me into a hug.

I really wasn't expecting that, so much that I just gave in without much effort, not even knowing what to do with my free hand for a second. But I soon wrapped my hand around her back being careful not to hurt her wings. And perhaps against what I would normally do I pulled her closer, I buried my face in her mane and I don’t know what did it, maybe it was the way she came here and treated me with such kindness even after the way I yelled and threatened her earlier, maybe it was the fact that this kid who didn't even know me that well simply knew what I needed the most right, or maybe it was the fact that I didn't get a hug like this in such a long time that I actually just forgot the tough guy act and just let the hug last.

"Sorry about what I said back there." I managed to say into her hair.

"It's ok, I know you're sorry about it." She reassured me, and I knew there wasn't a lot more that I needed to say, and after a couple of long seconds we broke the hug, she gave me small but warm smile and we went back to watching the horizon.

We didn't really talk about anything for a while, just stood there not saying anything but that hug told me a lot. It told me that yeah, I was screwed, and yeah I probably had no hope of going back home, but at least there’s someone here that cares about me, she doesn't get what’s going on with me, and she doesn't think she will but she cares about me and she’ll do her best to help me with it.

Even if it means just a shoulder to cry on once in a while, or a tight hug to remind me that I’m really not that alone after all.

Fuck, maybe friendship really is what I need right now.

I would never admit it to them, though.