The Unusual Tale of a Human Thief in Equestria

The Unusual Tale of a Human Thief in Equestria

An Unlikely Hero.

Chapter 7 - The call comes early.

Needless to say, Rarity didn't feel like acknowledging me a lot during lunch. Therefore I spent most of the time talking with Fluttershy while Rarity would speak up once or twice. I didn't expect her to take it that hard, but I suppose my little joke may have gone too far, so I tried apologizing. She didn't like that, instead she reprimanded me and told me to stop grovelling like every stallion does when they hurt some mare's feelings, she was just still a little mad and needed some time to cool down.

While I understood what she meant, I must to say I have to take offense to that statement. I don't grovel. I apologize profusely. There is a difference.

And so we ate, and when we finished eating, it was time to pay the bill.

"Excuse me, but just what do you think you're doing?" Rarity asked seeing me take a pretty big amount of bits out of my coin purse.

"Paying for lunch?" I answered carefully. I still wasn't completely used to how they did things around here, so I thought that maybe I was doing something very wrong there.

"That seems like too many bits for just a salad and a glass of water doesn't it?" She asked, her eyes squinting with suspicion. Making me realize what this was all about.

"There was the dressing?" I answered her awkwardly, I knew it was a pitiful attempt at best but I had to try it, her look of 'don't bullshit me darling' told me she thought the same thing. "C'mon Rarity, do we have to do this?"

"Janos. Just don't." She deadpanned, "I won't let you pay for everything, me and Fluttershy are more than capable of paying for our own meals."

"Rarity's right Janos. I wouldn't want to trouble you with that." Fluttershy silently added from her seat, still fumbling with her own purse.

"C'mon, you people have already helped me out a lot, paying for lunch is the least I can do." However annoyed I always at having to convincing them to take my money (Convincing people to take my money, It almost makes me want to tell them who I really am. If only to have someone to share this irony with.) at the very least I was relieved to find out my new friends were not the kind of girls who think a guy has to pay for lunch simply because he packs extra weight between his legs.

"Yes, we did help you." Rarity agreed, but before I could anything more she continued. "That's just what friends do Janos, there is no need to repay anything." Rarity answered.

"Right, and this is also just something friends do." I agreed, "So let me pay and let's be done with it."

"It's just that this is a bit too expensive." Fluttershy mentioned, "I wouldn't be comfortable making you pay for it."

"Okay, three things." I began by lifting three finger for them to see, "One: I get paid a lot by Celestia and I don't have anything to spend it on since she sends money to cover up for food and stuff for me." I lowered one of the fingers, "Two: Buying you a nice lunch is the least I can do when you're losing a lot of money making a whole wardrobe for free to me." Lowering the next finger I continued, "And lastly: I don't see anyone making me do anything here. I'm doing it because I want to." I finished by picking up the bill with the bits around it and handing it to Savoir Fare who was patiently waiting besides me while we decided how to pay.

He gave a respectful glance at both Rarity and Fluttershy looking for confirmation, and, upon seeing them agree, (albeit a bit grudgingly) retrieved the bill with my money and placed it on his tray, before accompanying us to the exit. "It was a pleasure having you with us today, please come again at your leisure." He gave us all a slight bow with his head and returned to his duties.

"This will not become a habit." Rarity declared before she began walking leading us to her shop. "Now hurry up, I have a lot of work today."

I followed suit and Fluttershy did the same walking next to me, "You're coming too?" I asked her.

"Well, I don't really have anything else to do today."

"Great, I'm gonna need someone to keep Rarity from sticking me full of holes with a needle." Afraid of getting the fashionista even more pissed off, I took advantage of how she was keeping some distance by staying ahead of us, and made sure she wouldn't hear that by whispering it to Fluttershy.

"I don't know if there's anypony that can help you when Rarity gets like that."

"Yeah, I didn't think I had offended her that much."

"Oh don't worry about it, I'm just joking. Rarity's just a big drama queen."

"No way!" I brought my hands to my head making the classic 'mind-blown' gesture with the accompanying explosion sound. "I would never have noticed it! Rarity of all people..."

She tried to cover up a little chuckle but unfortunately these ponies can hear anything. Their powerful ears combined with Rarity's womanly (merely? Marey? Ugh, screw it.) sixth-sense makes it almost impossible to keep anything from her. "I heard that!" She spoke in the sing-song voice she uses when she wants to be endearing or threatening. Funny how it can have both effects on people.

At least it told me her mood had improved. Luckily for all of us, Rarity's shop, The Carousel Boutique (I know and trust me, it looks much more ridiculous than it sounds like.) was very close to the restaurant where we ate, so the walk was pretty short.

Once again I had to keep my hood up to avoid the stares from all the ponies that still had not gotten used to my presence. I won't chalk this up to my training, and say that that all that attention bothers me because I'm so used, and conditioned, to not be noticed, because that is complete bullshit, makes no sense at all. Truth is I've always been like this. Being the center of attention always bothered me, even the most innocent stuff, and the more people focusing on me, the more nervous and bothered I get. Yeah, you wouldn't assume this from a first glance but I'm actually a pretty shy guy. The difference between me and Fluttershy is that when I get used to people, which usually happens pretty quickly, the shy goes away, and if the situations demands it, I can make an effort and ignore the feeling.

When we got to the Boutique, which honors it's name by being modeled after a carousel, Rarity opened it up and invited us inside. And I was immediately assaulted with the assortment of pinks, yellows and whites that make up this place. I will never understand the necessity to make this shop look as much as possible to one of those stupid looking doll houses you'd stumble upon during a commercial on a Saturday morning cartoon.

Waiting for us was a certain light blue pegasus with rainbow mane laying on her back looking very bored in Rarity's couch. "Ugh! Finally! Where have you been monkey dude?"

Rainbow Dash. And her annoying trend of monkey related nicknames which she so adamantly dedicated herself to using when she learned just how much it pissed me off. "We were out for lunch Rainbow." Rarity briefly explained while she got her things ready. "By the way." She added, "How did you get in my house? I locked the doors."

"Yeah, but not the windows." Rainbow answered pointing upstairs, causing Rarity to whisper some unpleasantry under her breath. "Anyway, Twilight sent me to get you." The lazy pegasus reached beneath a wing and, with surprising accuracy for someone without fingers, "Think fast" threw a scroll halfway across the room, it would have hit me square in the nose had I not caught it.

"Nice catch." She praised my quick reflexes.

"Thanks, get me where?"

"Will you just read the stupid letter and stop asking me stuff?"

"Jeez, what the hell's your problem today?"

"Egghead woke me up." Rainbow groaned, getting even more annoyed when I promptly ignored her demand.

Sensing that was the best answer I was going to get, I shifted my focus to the letter on my hand. Right away I noticed the broken seal, it was dark blue with a white crescent moon in the center. So now we know who sent it. Unraveling the scroll, I began to read the letter's contents and find out just what prompted Twilight to wake up my well-mannered friend.

Agent Janos of the Night Crown.

You are hereby summoned to appear before her Majesty, Mistress of the Night and Keeper of dreams, Princess Luna of Equestria, at once, to address matters concerning your first assignment, should you choose to accept it.

We understand this summon comes much earlier than expected, but a matter of great urgency has arisen and her Majesty, Mistress of the Night and Keeper of dreams, Princess Luna of Equestria requires your assistance.

Your reward and the specifics of the mission in question will be discussed personally, at Canterlot. We await your arrival as soon as this letter reaches your person.

Her Majesty's aide, Tight Schedule.

PS: The presence of your charge, Miss Rarity, is also required, as her expertise is needed to put the finishing touches on your equipment.

Those are some pretty fancy titles, I'm dealing with royalty alright, so full of themselves. Though who am I to argue? I keep insisting on being called a master thief all the time. Also Night Crown? If she's the night crown then I guess Celestia should be the Day Crown, but then what does that make Twilight and Cadence? Should ask them next time.

"What does it say Janos?" Rarity returned with her sewing equipment and an assortment of folded shirts, pants and even some boxers in tow. I had no idea she had already made all that stuff, in fact I was under the impression we were going to take my measures today so she could start working on these clothes. She must have noticed my look of surprise, because she smugly explained, "What? Do you really think I needed to take your measures first? Please darling, a lady of my talent can tell these things with but a glance." Then, after tapping her chin as if pretending to be looking for the right word, she added, "A first sight, if you will." once again with that hint of flirting hanging on her voice. This time however, it was very clear whether or not I was imagining it. Her change of demeanor, from annoyed to flirty, made me very interested in what she was planning.

Rarity, though, was acting as if nothing was wrong, "I only need to put the finishing touches on them" but after noticing me staring in silence, she continued with a tone of mockery . "What's wrong dear? Cat got your tongue?" She taunted me, a playful smirk growing on her face.

I stood there studying her some more for a few seconds before deciding she was just probably trying to get back at me for what I did at the restaurant. I ignored her provocation, "It's a letter from Princess Luna, she wants me to come to Canterlot immediately. Apparently, she's got some urgent work for me."

"Oh!" Rarity exclaimed, surprised at the suddenness of this news, "Then I suppose this will have to wait." She dropped the pile of clothes in the platform to the side. "Such a shame, but It seems we'll simply have to wait until you come back."

"Not exactly, she wants you to come too. Something about putting the finishing touches on some equipment?" Even as I explained to the unicorn, I still wasn't really sure what that meant. "We can probably do this in Canterlot."

"Equipment? I don't see how I could be of any help."

"She mentioned having some armor fashioned for me last time I was there, maybe she needs your help with making sure it's fitting right or something."

"Maybe. Well, the Princess needs me, I guess there is no point in arguing. I'll just have to go and do my best to help right?"

"Guess so. Just go get ready, the letter is just the right amount of polite enough to make it clear she wants us there ASAP."

"Of course darling, I'll just go pack the essentials." Knowing Rarity, that probably didn't mean what I hoped it did. "Just give a moment!" She yelled as rushed to her room.

As my unicorn tailor made her way upstairs to pack the 'essentials' I turned to the two pegasi who were now sharing the purple couch, much to Rainbow's disappointment, who really looked like she could use some sleep right now.

"How are my two favorite pegasi doing?" I cheerfully asked as I approached them, eager to find something to distract me while Rarity packed her belongings.

"We're the only pegasi you talk to." Rainbow groggily stated. It seemed the anger and annoyance had given way to the drunken stupor of missed sleep.

"Not true there is the wall-eyed mail mare." I pointed out. "I talk to her too... If only I could remember her name, Was it Derp something? or maybe Muffins? She talked about muffins a lot so it might just be some nickname I gave her, the same could be true for the other name though..."

"Whatever." Never mind, grumpy Rainbow is back. "I'm gonna go help Flutters make sure her critters have everything they need while she is away, can you help Rarity bring her stuff to the station?"

"Wait, you're coming too?"

"Yeah, and before you give me any lip, we know the Princess only called you and Rarity, but Pinkie wants to throw a, and I quote, 'Good luck on your super secret mission and hope you don't die in the middle of nowhere cold and alone party.' before you leave."

Wow, that's...

"Grim, I know. We all thought so, Applejack's trying to get her to change it." The blue pegasus finished for me. Something told me that's not the first time she's seen that reaction. "But that's Pinkie Pie for you, the girl can't stand going a week without befuddling everypony."

"Befuddling?" I repeated incredulously. "Pretty big word for such a small birdbrain," I commented, crossing my arms and putting on a big shit eating grin. If she thought I was gonna let the monkey thing go, she would be very disappointed.

"Not in the mood Janos." She answered harshly, getting up from the couch with a strong flap of her wings the pegasus was then hovering a couple of inches above my head. With her slumped shoulders and her neck hanging below her, Rainbow would look like she was hanging by threads tied to her wings if only said wings weren't being flapped up and down like that.

"C'mon Fluttershy, the girls are all waiting for us at the station by now." Rainbow urged her friend and Fluttershy quickly got out of the couch and after giving me a quick hug by just putting her leg around my waist and pressing her cheek to my chest she followed her grumpy friend and disappeared behind the boutique's front door. I briefly saw them passing through the boutique's window chatting among themselves before I noticed something.

"Hey wait a second! You read my letter!" I yelled at Rainbow. "That's private correspondence you can't do that!"

"That was Twilight dude, Spike coughs up a letter and she already thinks it's for her." And without letting me get another word out she was gone, dragging Fluttershy with her.

Finding myself alone (not to mention slightly violated.), I dropped down on the same couch Rainbow Dash was previously using, and I promptly started doing what everyone else does when left alone in the house of someone with whom we still don't have the 'raiding the fridge without asking' privileges. I began to awkwardly look around.

I never really get a chance to do that, because it was right at that moment the ghost presence decided it had been too long since my latest headache. Seconds after I sat down I felt a familiar presence coming from the floor above me. Usually, being the loyal and dedicated bodyguard I am, I would rush upstairs, kick the door down and shove Rarity beneath her bed until I could be certain everything was ok, but I've learned these things don't mean trouble is coming. How do I know that? Well, when I felt this presence inside a death forest filled to the brim with all sorts of mythological creatures that would like nothing better than to tear the meat from my bones, and I didn't get as much as a kitten tearing angrily at my pants, I came to the conclusion that this was either all on my head or it meant something else entirely.

I took off my boots and sat cross-legged on the couch. For a couple of days now I've been employing some meditation technique I learned during my training as a boy, it was a good way to clear your head and focus on a single issue. If performed correctly you could tackle a problem in such a way that you'll spend hours obsessing over it until you can come up with the best solution for it, it's very tricky and there are some stories about people not being careful and spending entire days trying to solve problems that are too complicated for this particular approach to be effective. Shutting yourself out to nearly all external stimuli can be dangerous after all.

But I'm a very careful guy, and I'm just trying to explore this feeling in order to find out what it's all about so it shouldn't be too problematic. So far that approach was not working relatively well, my previous attempts were helping me find out where it was coming from and it was definitely not inside my head. I'll try to explain here, but I'm honestly not sure how to go about this. I guess it's kinda like finding out another sense, we can hear or smell things nearby, but imagine one day you suddenly wake up and now you can feel something else entirely, like your brain is suddenly getting in touch with a part of it it never really used that much. It would be alien and strange, and obviously atrophied, to the point where simply trying to get used to it was complicated.

That day though, was when I began to really tap into it. Before it was nothing but an echo, a faint signal pulsing through my head. That day, that day it became clear. After some concentrating I began to feel something moving and shifting on the floor above me, it began weak and faint but it gradually got stronger and stronger, until I could tell it was moving around with a purpose. I could feel a small part of it stretching out from a fixed point where it was accumulated, the appendage then began to move around, it would seem to latch onto something else then moving to it's central mass before dropping it, then it move on to the next place and repeating all over again.

Just as I seemed to be getting the hang of this, my concentration was disrupted by a filly pulling on my shirt with her teeth.

It was Sweetie Belle, Rarity's little sister. She was a small unicorn filly, and when I say small I really mean it, she barely reached my waist. She had a white coat liker her sister, though hers was of a more darker white, if that makes any sense, a shade grayer maybe?That still doesn't sound right. Anyway, her head was adorned by a curly mane that was half purple and half pink same as her tail.

She looked up at me, "Janos?" She asked before jumping up on the couch next to me giving me a concerned look, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I answered the feeling was gone just as quickly as it arrived. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"You sure?" She asked again, raising an eyebrow, "You don't look ok to me."

"I'm fine Sweetie." I assured her with a forced smile, "I was just thinking about something."

"That's some pretty dedicated thinking, I was calling you for like five minutes." She said, "I was getting worried." Awwwww.

I reached around her and gave her a tight hug once again reassuring the poor thing that I was fine, "So, what's up squeaky?"

Sweetie Belle put her tongue out in displeasure of the nickname I got her after finding out how often her voice cracked, "I was hoping to get home before you and Rarity got done with your fashion thing."

"It's not a fashion thing," I stated, feeling a bit insulted. "So what do you need her for?"

"It's a school field trip, I need her to sign for me so I can go since mom and dad are out of town." Sweetie Belle chimed in.

"She went upstairs to pack" I motioned for the stairs and quickly dropped myself in the same couch Rainbow and Fluttershy were sharing earlier.

"You're gonna do some waiting then, Rarity really likes to take her time packing." Yeah, I was afraid of that. "Where are you going?"

"Canterlot."

"Why?"

"Luna called me."

She stopped what she was doing, which was dropping her school supplies into the nearest table, and she turned beaming with excitement. "The Princess called you?!" She asked / yelled at me. "What did-"

"I'm gonna stop you right there." I said, hoping to not deal with a hyperactive ten year old with a gigantic imagination for the next two hours while Rarity packed the 'essentials'. "And say that all I know is that she's got work for me and I'm supposed to report back to Canterlot ASAP."

Her blank look told me the acronym sailed right over her head.

"A-S-A-P." I repeated, "As soon as possible."

She mouthed an 'O' and, at the sound of something heavy being dropped upstairs followed shortly by the most dignified and controlled yell of 'horse apples!' I've ever heard, she rushed upstairs yelling her sister's name. Followed shortly by me of course. If that woman was going to take forever to pack then I might as well go help her and see if we could chop down eternity to just a few years.

I followed Sweetie Belle closely, as I had no idea where anything was upstairs, and we quickly arrived at a set of double doors, not the kind where there are two doors joined at the middle where each opens to a side opposite to the other, I mean those doors where the upper side and the lower side are separate from each other. So you could open only the upper half and get your mail or something or you could open only the lower half and use it for a conga line I guess.

Why do people build these stuff?

And why did she get one of those for her bedroom door?

Anyway, we reached her room, Sweetie Belle rushed inside before I could even get a good look inside, but when I did? Oh boy.

You see, I figured that Rarity, as one of those women who really freak out over her appearance (And that's pretty understandable considering her line of work. Please don't take it as criticism, I'm merely stating the facts.), she would tend to over pack a bit and take a really long while to decide what exactly she was gonna take on a trip.

I didn't expect six big and full cases of clothing and accessories for what would be, at best, a brief stay of a day or two in Canterlot. Especially when her kind's idea of casual wear was nothing at all.

"Uhh, Rarity? Everything ok in there?" I asked while knocking at the door, with Twilight I would just barge in but that's because we were already used to one another after spending a week living together, with Rarity, a lady, by the way, I wouldn't feel comfortable invading like that.

"Oh! C'mon in darling." She invited me in while stomping her forelegs on a, particularly full case in an attempt to close it. "Perhaps you can- Roof" She grunted putting more weight into it, "Be of some assistance?"

"Sure," I answered her moving up to the bed where she was trying to force that trunk closed. Rarity's bedroom, just as girly and doll-house as I expected. She has one of those beds with curtains on the sides, a big one too, figure you could fit four of her on that thing.

Just from looking at this room you could really tell she was dedicated to her job, even in her bedroom you could see a bunch of sewing equipment around, there was a table in a corner with an old sewing machine, ponyquinns arranged in a straight just off to the side with one put in the center wearing a really fancy dark purple dress with fancy earrings and a golden tiara adorned with a couple of jewels, two rubies and an amethyst if I'm not mistaken, quality stuff too, it must have some sentimental value if she's keeping it here instead of downstairs with the rest of the merchandise.

Placing my two hands on top of her travel case I pushed down adding my own weight with hers. Seconds later I heard the zip quickly going from one end to the other as Rarity pushed it with her magic, panting, the mare laid down on her bed hiding her hooves beneath her, much like a cat, the sight was quite amusing.

"Thank you, darling." She said.

"Sooo, where are you going?" I asked her, sweeping my hand across the room to indicate the various travel cases strewn around.

"What?" She asked me, doing a double take to make sure she heard me right. "What do you mean darling?"

I asked her again, with a playful smirk much alike the one she loved to flash my way recently. "Where are you going? Cause, judging by the look of it, this is definitely not for a weekend trip to Canterlot."

"Oh!" She laughed awkwardly, "These silly things?" She asked no one in particular, her eyes scanning the room slowly. "Just some... essentials?"

"Rarity." I crouched down beside the bed, "You can do whatever you want. I've only known you for a week or so, I won't tell you how to live your life. But do you really need-" I stopped and counted all the baggage strewn around, "seven travel cases full of clothes?"

"Yes?" She answered sheepishly.

"Fine." I got up suddenly and backed away a step, "But I'm only gonna help you with two, good luck with the rest."

Shrugging I picked up two cases at random, threw one over my shoulder and began making my way out, "See you in Canterlot my lady."

"Wait!" She yelled at me, stopping me when I was just out the door, "You can't leave me to carry all that by myself!"

"Really?" I mocked her, "Watch me milady." And with an exaggerated bow, I was back on my way
.

"You're bluffing." She declared, smiling smugly as she stuck her head out of the doorway , "After all, my big, strong and loyal protector is not actually going to leave a delicate lady like myself to haul these heavy things all by her lonesome self is he?" She pouted and shot me her best puppy face, I'd be lying if I said I didn't hesitate. But years of living with a little devil named Carol had left me very well prepared to deal with this particular kind of emotional blackmail.

I pouted back and for a moment Rarity actually thought she got me, "Well, you know what I think milady?" I asked her with a mocking smile of own, "I think you could do with a little extra exercise."

And I descended the stairs leaving a flustered and livid unicorn mare uselessly yelling insults at me plus one unicorn filly with the biggest smile on her face following me closely.

"Oh, she's going to kill you for that."

"Ha! I would like to see her try. As if I'd let every pretty face I meet boss me around" I set the two cases down and sat on one waiting for my dear friend to come down, "Your sister's way too used to dealing with prepubescent dragons and stupid stallions with no self-esteem."

"Tell me about it."

It wasn't long before we heard the grunting and cussing coming from upstairs (Granted it was very soft-core cussing, but I was beginning to think ponies were physically incapable of breaking the E rating). And a couple of the cases I left behind came tumbling down from the stairs only to go skidding about on the floor before stopping before me. "If you're going to be that way." Rarity said as she came down the stairs, "Then take these two." She then proceeded to pass by me without sparing me so much as a glance and heading out the door.

Yeah, looks like I really picked the day to get on her wrong side huh?