Ice Ice Pony: The Adventures of Vanilla Ice in Equestria

Chapter 2: Wow, it only took two tries to get this through fimfiction’s moderation...

When we last left our swaggin’ dark crusader, Vinyl Scratch and him were waiting for her roommate to open up the door. Soon it was opened by a sexy thang of a classy earth pony. Icey’s pants sprung up about a meter in the front, because he got a boner. Icey was unsure of how to proceed. On one hand, he needed a crib to kick back in wit da hunnies and chill wit his niggas, but these mare in front of him were pretty fine.

Vinyl was pretty fuckin' hot. Dat ASS he landed on when he landed was perfect. It had like the perfect level of plumpness. It was like he could motorboat dat booty all day long (which is the only time going "Burr burr" is okay), and still not get tired of it. That wasn't the only thing Icey liked about her. There was dat wonderful white coat, which reminded him of all dem white bitches he slept with.

Her roomie was hot, but in a different way. She seemed to embody high-class society. The pristine mane, the finely brushed coat, everything about her screamed, "I'mma fancy bitch!", and Icey likey. The best part about that would be how perfect she would look suckin' on his gigantic wang. He probably wouldn't have to try too hard. He was pretty sexy. She'd want more too. Once you go black, you never go back was still in effect.

For a situation like this, he would usually turn to BOSS NIGGER for his help, but he’d be gone until the sequel fic. Instead, Icey decided to call upon one of his spiritual guidance. Using his flow to stop and hammer time to mangle its flow, he called from deep within himself one of his Spirit Niggas, The Fresh Prince. The Fresh Prince was pretty swag. He looked kinda like Will Smith from the last chapter, but younger, and more fly.

"Wazzup mah niggah Icey? Whatchu tryin' to get at now?" The Fresh Prince asked Icey.

"It ain't good nigga. I'm at a crossroads of most confusion. It's either I get wit some hunnies now, or focus on chillin' in a crib. Dey be some fine ass bitches too, but I need to stay in their crib..." Icey tried to explain, before The Fresh Prince cut him off.

"Now nigga, don't be trippin'. Y'all can obtain the hunnies later. Y'all can't mess up at the start bro. A cool nigga once said that good shit happens if you wait. Ya think that I would've gotten so many bitches myself if I rushed. Hell nah, Uncle Phil would be all, "Burr burr cockblock!", so you gotta slow yo roll homie."

Icey gave a dope ass grin and thanked his Spirit Nigga for bein' such a homeboy. The Fresh Prince left to take his daily dose, which he was considering upping. Icey's flow then unhammered time, fixin' its flow.

Icey felt pretty elevated, like he always did after talking to one of his Spirit Niggas, which were like Spirit Animals, only they could get you laid more, and had mad swag. He had a game plan now, and was ready to pull off some dope ass shit. He'd cozy on up to them, and get wit dem later. Then he noticed it. He relaxed himself and thought about this new development.

Icey knew that he had to play it cool to stay in their crib, but dis nigga now had another reason to stay besides gettin' dat pony plot later on in the story. It was faint, and he could barely sense it, but he felt the flow in them. It was nothing compared to his steamy white flow, but the potential was there.

“Hey baby, is this where da Ice train can pull into and bring da jamz?” Icey said, showing off his skills in being subtle. The mare at the door facehoofed.

“Vinyl, what did I tell you about dragging home strange, but also very attractive creatures?” Vinyl’s roommate who we all know is Octavia but haven’t mentioned that because she hasn’t been fully introduced yet said.

“Ummm, I’m pretty sure you said it was okay as long as they are potty trained Octavia, and Icey mentioned that he was so...” Vinyl explained, before Icey stole the show like the star he is.

“Is that so Vinyl, mah sweet thang? If that’s true ‘Tavi, then there’s no reason for me NOT to chill in yo crib.” Icey made a convincing argument with his words and black, adonis-like body, so Octavia finally relented.

“Fine, I guess it’s okay for you to be here, but you must help out Icey." Octavia said.

"I could certainly use some help around here all right..." Vinyl said, licking her lips and staring at Icey's massive junk. She was nudged gently by Octavia, who told her to stop it.

"If you do not mind me asking Icey, how exactly did you come to Ponyville? You're certainly not from around here." The earth pony asked, wondering where such an attractive creature could come from.

"Dis gon be a long story y'all, so ya might wanna sit down." He said, before telling the story off-screen, because you seriously just read that last chapter.

"Wow! Icey, your music is amazing! Do you mind coming to the club with me so we can show off your wonderful, and totally original music, that has not had any part stolen by you?" Vinyl asked our Grandmaster of Swag.

"Dat'd be gucci mah Sweet Thang! I don't mind helping you out either 'Tavi, for when you have to play either." Icey said, letting the two know he was available to help them, if y'all know what I mean?

Suddenly, a mare's scream was heard!

"Help, Diamond Dogs are attacking Ponyville!" they cried out! Icey looked at the two of them.

"I don' know 'bout you, but I'mma go save the day. Y'all comin'?" He asked Vinyl and Octavia. They nodded at him and went upstairs. they were back after a minute. Octavia was carrying a cello, which she called her "Conflict Cello", and Vinyl had a speaker with her that she called her "Bass Cannon". The three of them were now ready to kick metric shit-tons of ass! Icey asked them what a Diamond Dog was before they left.

"The Diamond Dogs are creatures of Canine origin. Typically, they wore vests and dog collars, and not much else. They are fairly well known for digging up hoards of gems and keeping it to themselves. Most use either their claws or spears as weapons. It's pretty hard to take them down in a fight, because most of them are pretty strong. They have to be, in order to keep things like dragons away from their hoards. When brute force doesn't work, they'll pull in all of their forces for the assault. If Diamond Dogs are attacking Ponyville, then it should be a relatively small band of them, since the bigger colonies live on the outskirts of Equestria." Octavia said all in one breath. Icey thought this would make her pretty good at deep-throating his penor. Together, the three of them walked out, deciding to simply go and stomp out dem Diamond Dogs, and kick them out of their terf. Icey knew that this would be a good way to introduce himself to the rest of the town. He pulls this off, and he gets all da mares. Icey smiled, whispering,

"I'm gonna stomp 'em in da nutz."