Chapter 4: [4/24/2012 1:19:42 AM] CardsLafter: I got through the very first paragraph and threw up in my mouth. However, now I have to finish it.

Chapter 4: [4/24/2012 1:19:42 AM] CardsLafter: I got through the very first paragraph and threw up in my mouth. However, now I have to finish it.

When we last left our Black Mage, he was busy getting ready to summon a Chill Nigga using Vinyl’s Bass Cannon!

Icey had done this one hundreds of times. It’d be easy to do for a supafly nigga like him anyway! These Bitches all be in his was, and wreckin’ his turf, and now it was time to stop them! With that thought in mind, he began to sing, using the Bass Cannon to amplify his steamy white flow.

“YO! IT'S THE GREEN MACHINE! GONNA ROCK THE TOWN WITHOUT BEING SEEN! HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A TURTLE GET DOWN? SLAMMIN’ AND JAMMIN’ TO THE NEW SWING SOUND. YEAH, EVERYBODY LET'S MOVE, VANILLA IS HERE WITH THE NEW JACK GROOVE! GONNA ROCK, AND ROLL THIS PLACE, WITH THE POWER OF THE NINJA TURTLE BASS! ICEMAN, YA KNOW I'M NOT PLAYIN! DEVASTATE THE SHOW WHILE THE TURTLES ARE SAYIN, “GO NINJA, GO NINJA, GO!”

And so, with his pimpin’ hymm blastin’ outta the Bass Cannon, Icey used up more power in his projection for summoning a Chill Nigga. It was known that this song randomly summons one Chill Nigga out of four. Who knew what would happen now?

An African-Amurrican portal opened up in front of the shitty boy band, mercifully making them stop their homoerotic moans that they called music. The steamy white flow Icey ejected out of himself was potent enough to summon all four! Turtles the size of humans stepped out. They wore no real clothes, just headbands that doubled as masks. One had blue, and dual-wielded sharp hanzo steel katanas. Another wore a purple headband, and used a staff. The next one had red on, and had two deadly sais in his hand. The last wore orange and held onto two nunchucks. They were a legendary ass kickin’ crew, known only as The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

“’sup Icey? How did you manage to get us all together like this?” The blue one asked. His name was Leonardo, and he was the leader.

“Mah steamy white flow was multiplied to the 10th swagger by this sexy Bass Cannon mah Sweet Thang Vinyl be usin’.” Icey replied. Vinyl blushed at the praise. The turtles nodded and turned to the Diamond Dawgz.

“Let’s put these doggies to rest!” Said Raphael, the one in red.

“I’ve always wanted to do one of these fights with my brothers.” Said Donatello, pulling out his sturdy, wooden staff.

“Bitches be crazy!” The last one, Michelangelo shouted, brandishing his badass nunchucks. Onward they went, off to beat down the Diamond Dawgz! It’s a good thing Icey was here to sing their theme song!

“TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES

HEROES IN A HALF-SHELL

TURTLE POWER!”

Leonardo jumped up, slicing 3 Diamond Dawgz down the middle. The words “QUICKSCOPE TRIPLE 5(l2l_ll3z PWN!” appeared out of nowhere. Leo then did a badass spin-kick, sending 5 Dawgz at Raph.

"THEY'RE THE WORLD'S MOST FEARSOME FIGHTING TEAM

THEY'RE HEROES IN A HALF-SHELL AND THEY'RE GREEN

WHEN THE EVIL SHREDDER ATTACKS

THESE TURTLE BOYS DON'T CUT HIM NO SLACK!"

Raph stabbed them in the face, blinding them, and backhanded them with his fists. The words “SEXY FRAGSHOT!” were seen.

“TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES”

Don leaped forward, blindsiding 10 with his mastery of the long, wooden shaft. He then used one as a springboard, launching him at another. This action was repeated several times, allowing him to take out a large amount of the hoard by himself. He was pretty smart to think of this, but he was scientific, and, as a nigga from across the street told me, “SIR ISAAC NEWTON IS THE DEADLIEST SON OF A BITCH IN SPACE MUTHAFUCKA!”…You know, I’m pretty sure this quote is being taken out of context, but it’s still pretty badass. One could see “360 NO-SCOPE” in the distance.

“SPLINTER TAUGHT THEM TO BE NINJA TEENS”

Leo got out some baby powder, and kept his pimphand strong, smacking dem Dawg bitches up. He then shouted, “HE’S A RADICAL RAT!” in reference to his surrogate father.

“LEONARDO LEADS, DONATELLO DOES MACHINES”

Don cracked his staff over a Dawg’s head. It howled in pain. Don then looked up to the sky , and said “THAT’S A FACT, JACK!”

“RAPHAEL IS COOL, BUT CRUDE”

Raph climbed on a Diamond Dawg’s back using his sais. He looked at Icey, saying, “GIMME A BREAK!”

“AND MICHAELANGELO IS A PARTY DUDE”

Mikey was left surrounded by most of the remaining forces. He span his nunchucks around, stopping the Dawgz from jumping on him like he was a bitch in heat. With expert accuracy, Mikey pushed them all back. An ass-whoopin’ occurred. Ponies saw the words “420 DAMAGE! SMOKE WEED ‘ERRYDAY!” light up the sky, and reminding all the swag niggas to not skip out on their daily dose. Mikey screamed out “PARTY!!!”

“TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES

HEROES IN A HALF SHELL

TURTLE POWER!”

The King was the only one left. Icey approached him, lookin’ mad pissed. He was filled wit raeg at dis bitch nigga throwing off his groove. Why did every user of mangled flow have to ruin shit? The King was cowering when he saw Icey’s burning anger. He begged for his life.

“P-p-p-please, spare me mah nigga…” The King started to say, but was cut off by his wind pipe being obstructed by Icey’s foot.

“Y’ALL CAN’T USE THAT WORD CRACKER! NIGGA IS A BLACK MAN’S WORD! ONLY PEOPLE LIKE ME CAN USE NIGGA! YA GOT THAT HONKY!” Icey said, channeling all the raeg of his fellow ancestors of dark colored descent.

“Have mercy on a poor white dog like me oh Dark Warrior of Steamy White Flow. I was just trying to be like you!” The King once again tried to plead with him. Icey was not amused by these pathetic attempts to appease his black anger. Instead of responding, he just used the flow to lift up The King, and choke him to death. Icey’s breathing became labored, and said,

“Return to the flow. Maybe next time, you’ll get to be a nigga.” The King was murdered by Icey using flow choke on his bitch ass. Icey gave his Chill Niggas, The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles a brofist before sending them off on their way. Icey got surrounded by ponies, and they all cheered his name, especially the mares. All Icey could think was,

“This place be pretty swag. Maybe mah niggah Neil was right…”