Ice Ice Pony: The Adventures of Vanilla Ice in Equestria

An actual chapter and not an interlude this time! Alternative Title; Chapter 5: “Vanilla Ice” “Equestria” “Mature” “…Wha?!” ~ElektroNeko, a person who read the description and posted a comment.

When we last left off over a month ago from this point in time, our level 60 African Shaman had all the mares cheering his name after single-handedly fighting off the Diamond Dogs with Vinyl and Octavia. Icey felt like he was the most ballin’ playa in the universe. Soon, he was stuck in the middle of a crowd of female ponies that wanted his dick. Looking to his left, Icey saw that Vinyl and Octavia were there to retrieve him, and judging from that sensual gaze they were giving dis nigga, he was in for a great night!

Vinyl and Octavia shared a glance and nodded in acknowledgement. Both mares wanted this pimp-ass nigga, and they wanted him now! However, they both knew that if they had sex with that ABAP man of dark-skinned descent known as Icey, then he would be shared among all the mares in town. So they decided to drag him off to their shared home. Icey was cool wit dat, as he be gettin’ some tonight!

As the three sauntered back home, Vinyl and Octavia had to ask Icey about a question that has plagued their minds since meeting him.

“So, what exactly ARE you? Also, I call dibs.” Vinyl asked, while Octavia got pissed.

“To put it simply Vinyl baby, I’m a human. I walk on my legs and use my hands to grab things. I wear some pimp-ass clothes to cover my sexy body because my wang would drag across the ground otherwise. I use The Flow to beat little bitches that be gettin’ in my way. Basically, I’m fucking awesome.” Vanilla Ice answered with, explaining what he is in less than a minute.

“I’d add in my two bits to this conversation, but we are now at the door.” Octavia said, walking in with Icey and Vinyl Scratch.

Let’s get it on!

Using her magic, Vinyl Scratch unzipped Icey’s trousers, and started to grind her ass into his MASSIVE HOARSE CAWK. She gave a small grin, feeling his dick harden in between her haunches. Icey is a man of action however, and felt like he needed to contribute in this sexy endeavor so it can keep going. So, Icey pushed gaywards and JAMMED IT IN DAT ASS! Vinyl moaned like she was in heat, loving dat shit to unseen levels.

We don’t give a what what!

We don’t give a what what!

Octavia looked on as her roommate (who she always found pretty sexy), get fucked up the ass by Icey (who is a strange African Amurrican creature from another world). While watching this, she thought about how weird it was that she wanted to mate with Icey even though she hasn’t even known him for a day. Not to mention, he’s a completely different species from her. Octavia thinks about this more, wondering if they’re even genetically compatible. Maybe this ISN’T such a great idea…

…

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…Nah! It doesn’t matter if this relationship works out in the end, as long as she can enjoy his URSA MAJOR SIZED PENOR, Octavia don’t give no fucks! Besides, that kind of thinking is too deep for this fic anyway!

Get it on the floor

Get it get it on the floor! (WHAT?!)

Icey’s just pumping in and out of Vinyl’s ass like his dick’s a jackhammer. Vinyl, of course, is taking it like a champ, going with the flow, and enjoying the feel of Icey’s BALLS OF STEEL slap against her marehood with each thrust. Wonderful feelings of passion well up within her. She feels her orgasm coming, and as her volcano spews out enough lava to destroy an ancient city, her horn starts to glow. Soon, her, Icey, and Octavia begin to float up into the air, because every good clop needs to have HAWT ZERO-GRAVITY PONY SECKZTM!

Get it on the floor

Get it get it on the floor! (WHAT?!)

Icey, going with the flow, gave no fucks about the whole floating thing, and flew at Vinyl Scratch while doing a Superman pose. He then took his hotdog with foreskin and slam jammed it into Vinyl Scratch’s hotdog bun with a clitoris. Piercing her heavens with his drill, Icey knew how to deliver the hawt sex even while in zero gravity, and it showed. Octavia watched this act of lovemaking with a look of awe.

You don’t wanna party then your ass gotta go! (WHAT?!)

You don’t wanna party then your ass gotta go! (C’MON!)

After Icey finished blastin’ in Vinyl’s vajayjay Octavia ripped her off so she could shag her mayun. She started to slide her marehood (which was vajazzled) down on his shaft, and started to-

ERROR

502 BAD GATEWAY

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One hour of refreshing later…

“Praise the princesses! That was amazing!” Octavia exclaimed after their three days of lovemaking was finished.

“I know, right?” Vinyl started, “And then there was that stuff you did to the thing, and then I just HAD to join in and do the other thing because of those actions Icey was doing!”

“Dayum, you mares be crazy!” Icey said with a content look on his face.

Yes, the three were living in harmony.

But that all changed when the Fire Nation attacked.

Fire Nation soldiers burst through the door, attacking with their firebending. Octavia and Vinyl ducked out of the way, but Icey kept his cool and stood his ground. The fire moved closer and closer, until Icey felt the fireballs near his face. That was when he struck. Icey did a matrix dodge under a fireball, and leaped like a bullfrog. Icey closed his eyes, focusing on the cosmic energy of the multiverse, feeling its hymms and rhythms, the power that remained intact after the multiverse’s creation. When his eyes opened, they were glowing, and a strange blue arrow tattoo showed up on his body. Icey just activated his Avatar State.

The Fire Nation soldiers promptly shat their pants, as they were in the presence of the Avatar State. An Avatar in the Avatar State was a Swole nigga who shouldn’t be fucked with. But, they couldn’t go against the Fire Lord’s orders, and decided to do it anyway. The firebenders got into position. Two of them did a low kick, making fire race across the ground, while two more soldiers jumped on their backs, doing 360 no-scope fireballs in a shotgun-like spread. Icey looked pimpin’ and used his Dance of the Swagon Kata: Look Pimpin'. One foot was placed in front of the other, and pushed forward, absorbing the racing fire, and adding it to this deadly dance. Next, he hopped on one foot, focusing the fire there, and stomped it down to the floor, spreading a wave of fire that hit the firebenders, while making him now balance on that foot. The firebenders, thinking that he’s exposed his weak point, attempted to strike for massive damage, not knowing that it was a trap until it was too late.

“Oh shit! IT’S A TRAP!” one managed to scream. Icey span like a top, sucking the firebenders in using his airbending. Taken by surprise there was nothing they could do to avoid this fate. Icey did a triple back flip, and released extreme wind blades with fire on them, instantly killing the firebenders. Icey left the Avatar State, but his tattoo remained. He looked out into the distance and saw the Fire Nation drilling into Ponyville. He knew it would only be a matter of time before the ponies would be overrun with Fire Nation soldiers.

“Stay here,” Icey told Vinyl and Octavia. “I’m gonna shoot some niggas.” Icey had to take care of this problem himself. He remembered when Neil told him that he’d take care of his home. He wasn’t sent here on vacation, he was sent here because of the Fire Nation attacking, and because of those users of the mangled flow. It was his job as the Avatar, master of the four elements, to bring back balance to this bullshit. This world was in deep shit right now, and he’d need not only himself, but an army of Swag Knights like him to save it. Whether by recruiting, or through summoning, it was time to build up a crew.

Icey walked out of the house, before he saw a molten rock about to strike it. Just as he was about to stop it, he heard a voice.

“Sup bitches.” On the roof of the house a hooded mexican stood. A black trident was in his hands. On it an X, a circle, a triangle, and a square were inscribed. Twirling it in his hands, he jumped like the illegal Mexican nigga he was.

“Sup bitches, this is Chad Warden.” The trident struck, splitting the molten rock in half. The two halves missed the house, and the scenery made Chad Warden look like the ABAP nigga he was.

Book 1: Swag ends.