Chapters Soarin arrived at his father's house. He was trying to help him, but also aggravate him by referring to him as father. Ice Storm had recovered recently from a gunshot wound after he had quit his job at the local police station.
"Stop, Stop father."
"Stop calling me that."
"You have to take it easy, father." Soarin insisted.
"Soarin, would you let me go." Ice Storm grumbled.
"Build up your strength."
"Do you know how annoying you are? Calling me father, like in some black and white movie?"
"Well I'm just trying to help you father."
His mother walked into the room with them. She was carrying two plastic containers filled with leftovers.
"Storm, let him help you."
"I don't need any help walking. I'm fine. Both of you just- I'm fine." He replied.
Glide opened the fridge. There was food everywhere and it wasn't organized. There were some items that she wasn't even sure were still edible.
"When was the last time you cleaned this thing out?"
"Look Mom, you didn't have to fly all the way over here just for this."
It was true, Soarin could care for Ice Storm, and she could have stayed at her house. It was on the opposite side of Cloudsdale. If it was busy, it could take over a day to get there. However, Glide ignored his statement.
"Is this a corn dog?" She questioned, holding a moldy looking thing attached to a stick.
"I don't know. Only one way to find out. Take a bite."
"I'm not biting into this."
"Just get a little bitty bite-"
"No I don't want any. It's disgusting. Now, I only made a few meals, and I'm only here a couple of days. Somepony has to check on him."
"I get it. You want me to swing by, make sure he has fresh water. You know..... Change his Colostomy bag."
"He doesn't have a Colostomy bag, Soarin." She said matter of factly.
"Are you sure? He might have one. I think he has one."
"Soar, do you realize that he almost died?" Glide answered.
"Sorry, mom, I just- can't take you seriously when your holding that thing." He gestured to the 'thing' being held in his mother's wing.
"I know you might not believe it, but someday you will want to live these times again. This could help you see him differently."
"Hmmm, I don't know if I need, or want, to know him. I know enough already."
Glide said nothing, she just looked at him. She seemed slightly annoyed with him for saying that.
"I'm not making any promises."
"Put plank 'J' into peg 'H'"
Soarin was at Rainbow Dash's home. It was very quaint. There was some neutral colored furniture across the room consisting of a table, a L shaped couch, and a large flat screen tv that was hung on the wall.
Windows brought in a good bit of natural lighting, but they had curtains so one could block the light coming through.
"There is no peg 'H'. Peg 'H' doesn't exist! Ugh. I'm gonna kill somebody."
"You just can't take a joke." Soarin smugly said.
"You can go home ya know." Rainbow suggested.
"Can't, there is a reason why I'm here. It's this. Dash, I just had a epiphany. My lease is almost up."
"Yes, I may have been..... vaguely aware of that."
Has she been stalking me?
"Well I am thinking, 'Soarin, you need to go on in life.' As a fully grown, muscular, handsome stallion." He paused think of how to word what he was going to say next. "It really isn't just me alone, by myself, or however you would put it."
"I think you have finally had a mature thought Soarin, Congratulations." She smirked. Soarin usually thought like a colt, if somepony insulted him, he would ask to egg their house.
"Really? Anyway, so do you know what I'm going to do?"
"What are you gonna do?" Dash teased.
"I'm gonna move in." He said. For once he actually sounded like his age suggested. Him and Rainbow leaned forward into a kiss.
"With my dad."
Rainbow paused. She seemed confused by what he just said. She moved away from him.
That idiot, does he ever know when he has pleased his mare enough to where said mare will let him move in?
"Soarin."
"I know right. How many times will my dad be recovering from a gunshot wound? Hopefully just this one time." He chuckled slightly.
"What? Your cool right? Don't you dare lie. I can read you like your Daring Do novels."
"Yep, I'm so cool with that."
"Oh goodie," he said. "You had me worried for a second there."
"What are you doing?"
Soarin was in his office. He saw his childhood friend, Spitfire, taking pictures of herself in ridiculous poses.
"It's not what it looks like. I'm just taking some, uh, extra photos from this online dating thing. It's no big deal."
"Geez, I though it was for something that was actually embarrassing."
"I need love too ya know. Almost everypony I have went out with was arrested for killing other ponies. I've got like, the worst luck when it comes to dating."
"So let's go all over the interwebs, searching for the right stallion for you to take home and have a roll in the hay with."
"Soarin, you know that's not what I mean."
"Well look at this. He sounds like a pretty decent guy." Spitfire motioned to her desk laptop. "And I have a date with him. So suck it."
"Ya know I'm in your little corner right? But EVERPONY lies on these things. Yeah, he seems like a good dude here, but what about in real life? When you show up, guess who is waiting at that bar? The version of Colonel Sanders wearing a wig."
"Ugh, what are you even doing here?" She asked, already had enough of Soarin's surprise visit to the office.
"I need to borrow your suitcase." He started trotting over to where it is stashed away.
"What's wrong with yours?"
"Yours has wheels. And the zipper works. Plus I dropped mine off my roof and the hinges broke."
"I don't even want to know how you did that."
"I'm moving in with my dad anyway." Soarin turned a corner and was rummaging around one of the back rooms.
"You're doing what? Did you tell Dash?"
"Yeah I told her last night."
"And she didn't murder you with a pickaxe?
"She said she was cool with it. My dad was shot. She gets it and-"
Soarin continued his reasons why he was sure Rainbow was "ok" with it. Spitfire flipped through various profiles of mares and stallions. She took a second glance at some, but continued flipping through, until she arrived at the profile of a familiar mare. A VERY familiar mare. A mare which happens to be the one Soarin was speaking of under a different name.
"Uh, Soarin, you might wanna see this. Rainbow might be cool, but 'Prism Sky' is on the market."
"Prism Sky?"
Soarin gazed at the screen. There was no doubt about it. It was Rainbow Dash smiling with her hair in a wavy ponytail.
"Well, um, ok. I guess I became fascinated with sea ponies when I was eight, but I got serious with them in my twenties."
Rainbow Dash and a pale red stallion were talking about sea ponies. It seemed that Rainbow's "date" was quite infatuated by them, which made her uncomfortable.
The restaurant they were in was very elegant. It had wood columns leading up to the ceiling. Soothing music was being played. It was a romantic scene to be in.
"Little known-fact, they don't wear saddles like in that cartoon."
Across the room, Soarin was watching the two from behind a cardboard cutout of a stallion with a handlebar mustache. He spread his right wing and used it to push his mane back. He was about to give Rainbow's little date a piece of his mind.
"This is me and a picture of a long-nosed sea pony. His name is Bob."
"Uh, great name, I guess."
"Thanks I-"
Soarin walked over to the table. Instead of yelling at the colt immediately, he acted as a waiter. He held a water pitcher in his mouth. That way the mare whose cart it was on would think he worked there, not that he had originally taken it to chug it, and just forgot to put it back.
He poured the water into the colts drink. Water poured from it, but there was also a small wasp.
I think I know why she was using the other one now.
He hoped that he wouldn't notice. Sure it was a jerk move, but it's his marefriend that he is feeling up.
Rainbow noticed Soarin filling their glasses. He immediately saw that she wanted him to leave. There was also a bit of dread in her eyes, or maybe that's just how tired she is. He would already be asleep listing to this guy talking about sea ponies.
Without realizing his actions, he overflowed the glass, causing the liquid to pour over the table and into the colt's lap.
"Yah! Sir! Sir! Sir!!! Sir excuse me! What the hell?" The colt exclaimed.
"Oh, gee, I'm sorry. Hello Prism ."
'Prism' was astonished. What is Soarin doing?! Does he know what I'm doing?!
"Do you have something to say for yourself?" Soarin asked, pivoting his front left hoof in small circles, trying to encourage her to reply.
"Who's this guy?"
"Who am I? Who are you?! I'm the coltfriend so you can stop staring creepily my lady's purple eyes, Jack!"
"My name is actually Burning Light."
"My eyes are magenta." Rainbow unknowingly stated.
"How do you know? You can't see them."
"Light, this is my ex-coltfriend." She nervously glanced between Light and Soarin.
"Ex? Oh that's how were gonna do this."
Rainbow hastily whispered towards him to stop, but he continued his rant.
"Oh, COME ON! He's not even good-looking. I, me and, he's-- it's ok." Soarin poked a wing at Light's mane. "You know what? It's not great, I'm sorry. You know I'm not sorry."
A bright orange colt with a mike atop his ears leaned over a countertop in the restaurant's kitchen. Rapidfire was listening to Soarin. He was compromising the sting operation.
Does that bumbling oaf have to ruin everything?!
"You have got to be kidding me. Lightning!" Another stallion poked his head from around a corner. "Get out there and do something about this!"
"I would if I could, but I'm in a hole here." Lightning adjourned a stained apron on his chest and neck. He was putting the food on the plates.
"You get- get Soarin out of there blows this whole thing! Go!" Rapidfire grabbed a hoof full of chopped carrots and threw them at him. He clutched his head in frustration.
"LEAVE THE SPAGHETTI!"
"Ok!"
"I'm sorry Light, this is my ex Soarin. He is a bit, how should I put this.... immature."
"So we really are gonna play like this, dirty ball style, huh. We're playing old school nasty ball? Well good luck finding more breadsticks." Soarin reached across the table and slide the breadstick basket to him. He closed his jaw on the plastic piece that stuck out on the left edge of it.
Lightning trotted out the kitchen doors and hurriedly made his way over to the colt continuing his petty thievery of breadsticks. He tapped his shoulder several times.
"What? WHAT?!" He turned and looked at the nervous stallion.
"Lightning? What are you doing here?"
"This is my table."
"This is your-" Lightning darted his eyes in Rainbow's direction. Soarin got the hint and looked to see what he was gesturing to. On the strap of her dress, there was a small black clip, which he recognized as a recording device. He then looked at the convex mirror across the room and saw Rapidfire trotting back and forth, also with a mike. Realization dawned his face.
"Hmm, you know what? I've had some time to think about this, and I'm way out of line here. I'd like to apologize. You are both lovely." He turned to Rainbow. "You are especially lovely."
"Thank you."
"Dessert will be on me. I'm gonna go... marry some ketchups. They have a really nice flourless cake. I could get that. Be right back."
Soarin and Lightning left the table and entered the kitchen.
"You don't work here Lightning."
"Not yet."
Once the door closed, the met Rapidfire's hard glare.
"Rapid, I need a flourless, chocolate cake, right now, on the fly."
"Good going, moron. You may have just blown Detective Dash's cover and six weeks worth of work."
"Soooo, no cake?"
"Ok, listen up. In the past three months, two mares, in their early twenties, were killed. They were both strangled, and both bodies were found in a densely wooded area, but we are unable to find any other evidence that could connect the two mares. That was until we found this." Misty Fly flipped the whiteboard over to show various pictures connected by lines.
Several other officers and detectives studied what they saw.
"Both mare's had profiles on the dating site lookingforlove.com. in addition, they dated these six stallions. We believe that one of them is our killer. So we sent Detective Dash undercover to help draw these stallions out."
Soarin clacked his hooves together. He was making the only noise in the silent room.
"Bottom line, awesome news. Can I clarify Chief? Thanks, what I want to say is, thank god that there is just a psychotic serial killer on the loose, and not that Ms. Detective Rainbow Dash here was actually out there, dating strange ponies."
"I have another date tomorrow."
Soarin went cross eyed. "Are you insane! Have you completely lost your mind?!"
"Seriously, you went on a dating show, and made it to the FINALE."
"Cause I am a grown stallion! And I do what gets the job done!"
"Enough. The two of you-"
"And don't get me wrong, it's not that she hasn't done an awesome job Jesabelling herself throughout the city, but it seems to me that you are dealing with circumstantial evidence. So Chief, you need me to go in there and figure these dudes out. Or assault them. Either one is fine." Soarin spoke. He was getting more aggravated by the second, raising his voice as the words flowed from his mouth.
"Doing so is your specialty. So... you can work together on this."
Soarin trotted down the green hallway of the office. He needed to speak with his partner.
"Hey, dude! Where have you been? I need you. There's some major boomerang-to-the face stuff going on down here. Are ya just going to leave me, all alone in the vast wilderness? Huh? Is that your thing now?" Spitfire flatly looked at him. "What?"
"Soarin, this is Winter Haze."
"Yo."
"So your the new dude, from the internet, with the picture.... and the face...."
"Soarin, what are you talking about?" Spitfire asked. He definitely had a way with using the most ridiculous phrases to describe something.
"Is he a friend of yours?" Haze politely wondered.
"What kind of name is 'Winter Haze' anyway!" Soarin blurted out.
"Chill Soarin. I have already had enough headaches today."
Soarin sighed. "To answer your question, yes. Best friends. From birth, all the way from our childhood dreams to our darkest nightmares."
"Ok then."
"He was kidding about the 'darkest nightmares' thing. He kids around a lot. Mostly inappropriately."
"Like how you were the other night when you said that that waiter-" Spitfire clamped her front hooves over his face.
"Shh, nopony needs to hear that."
"Well it seems like everypony had fun. But me and Spits here have to attend some serious matters at the moment. You can just, fly somewhere I guess."
"Soarin, I think the date is still going."
"Ooooh, I get it. You need to say your goodbyes. Ok. First date, last date. I'll wait."
"The first date was last night. So this is the second right?" The stallion turned the mare at his side.
"Technically, you are correct. So this wouldn't be inappropriate."
Both leaned toward each other and kissed lightly.
"Wait a minute, you two didn't actually-" Soarin made gestures with his wings.
"Get your head out of the gutter before I shove it in the grate leading to it."
"What did you think you were doing out there?!" Spitfire angrily whispered.
"I was doing the 'do it' symbol. How did he not get that?"
"I know what it means." Haze interrupted from the other room. "I just haven't seen it since I was 12. And what is this," he spread his wings and slapped them together a few times, "supposed to mean?" He looked fairly amused by Soarin's startled expression.
Spitfire yanked Soarin behind a table. He yelped and nearly banged his head on the wall. He glared at the offending wall, then turned his attention to the fiery mare.
"Hey! What gives!"
"You know why I did that."
"Whatever, and what do you see in this guy?"
"I think he is a really cool dude." Spitfire said truthfully.
"You know next to nothing about him." He justified.
"I know he went to Saddle Arabia, is a nutritionist, and has some bongos."
"Bongos, really?"
"Nevermind the bongos! He's different. Not every single guy I find is going to be some kind of serial killer. Some ponies are just.... normal." Spitfire took a step forward and looked through the square opening in the wall. Haze was looking at some pictures hung about the room. One in particular, was a picture of Spitfire after a press conference. Her mane was all sticking to the right side, and clearly was not amused by whoever was taking the photo.
She whipped around and faced Soarin again. "I thought I told you not to put that up!"
"Come on, that is gold right there!"
"I'm taking it down. Later, though. Soarin, stop trying to screw this up. He might just be the one for me."
"Well, I don't think he is the one for us . " He replied, putting extra emphasis on us.
"Really?" In response to her own question, she shoved Soarin out the lobby door and onto the sidewalk. She turned around, sprinted back inside, and locked the door.
"Spitz, don't be the 'B' from apartment twenty-three! Your better than that! We're all better than that! At least, I think we are." Soarin turned around. "What am I even talking about?"
Ice Storm's house was pretty peaceful. All the door-to-door salesponies had been sent away, and the rotten little colts from down the street weren't digging for oil on his lawn. Three ponies were inside that house, all eating dinner.
Glide looked over to her son. She roughly motioned to his father, who was reading the newspaper. Soarin looked confused. He mouthed the words, "What are you doing?" to his mother. She responded by facehooving and slowly pointed from him to Storm, while mouthing "talk" to him.
"Is there anything I can do for ya, pop?"
Ice Storm slowly lowered his newspaper and studied him.
"You wanna help? Go clean out the garage."
"How about you let me borrow the truck instead?"
"Where are you going? What time will you be back?" He asked, turning back to his newspaper.
"A date with Dash."
"Oh that's so sweet. Ice, let him borrow the truck." Glide turned to Ice Storm, who had glued his eyes to the paper once more.
Glide returned back to Soarin. "Where are you taking her?"
"Well... it's not exactly my date. I have to go to a date that Dash is having with some other dude."
Glide was looking over into the corner, face scrunched in confusion.
"It's a long story. You know, complicated and stuff. No under-the-table touchy stuff, and absolutely none of," he made the wing gestures from earlier today. "this."
"Is it opening a can?"
"Mom, everypony knows what that is." Soarin chuckled. He reached across the oak table for the keys, but his hoof was grabbed by Ice Storm's.
"I want it back by midnight."
"What am I, Cinderella?"
"You want to make it eleven-thirty?" He was dead serious.
"No." Soarin replied after a sigh.
He grabbed the keys and trotted over to the white door across the kitchen. Something by the staircase caught his attention. There were four fully packed bags.
"Hey mom, what time are you heading out tomorrow?"
"Actually, those bags are going upstairs. Your mother is going to stick around for a little while." Ice looked over to Glide. She looked back.
"Just for awhile to make sure your ok." She said with a sincere smile.
"I told her that I will be fine."
Then, something clicked in Soarin's brain. "Woah, woah, wait a second, your moving in?" Soarin asked out of disbelief.
Glide nodded with a wide smile. She put her hoof over Ice's, who had put his down near the beginning of the conversation.
"Oh my god. I'm living with my parents."
At the local movie theater, ponies poured out, chatting about various scenes of the movie itself. Some called it crappy, others thoroughly enjoyed it.
There was a lone van on the same side of the street as the theater. It was a police van. Inside the van, Lightning, Rapidfire, and Soarin are stationed. They listened in on earpieces that were adorned on their heads.
"Alright, the movie should be out. We're back up and running." The orange colt glanced at his watch. He was correct.
"This is work time."
"I can not believe you got that out of me. I usually don't tell ponies about the groups I am apart of." The stallion who had spoken had a light green coat. He wore a pair of shades on his head, yet it was eight o'clock at night. "They won't let me play games."
"I am so not intimated by that." The pegasus was slightly tired. These dates seemed to bore her more than anything. "I bet I could give you a run for your money in anything." Apparently, being undercover wouldn't stop her from showing her competitive nature.
Inside the van, Rapidfire was commenting on what was transpiring outside. "There is a lot of heat coming of those two."
"Dash is a much better actress than I have here credit for. Pretending to be into this 'Leafy Seasons' guy-come on."
"Please, you're the only one in this van who isn't into this guy."
Both Soarin and one of the other ponies crowded in the vehicle raised their hooves.
"Ha! Told ya!"
"Seriously, mares are way better at spelling and stuff than guys."
Inside the arcade section of the movie theater, Rainbow Dash and Leafy Seasons sat with sodas and a pizza. Rainbow had already eaten half of it, while Seasons was still on his first.
Across the room, by the pinball machines, was a fiery mare. She was picking up some fried carrots and a coke. Since she didn't have anything to focus all of her attention on at the moment, she listened to the conversations around her. One in particular stuck out to her. It was one of her friends voices, but the other was not one she recognized. Her pose shifted so she could look at the voices owners. She was shocked by what she saw.
"Really? Cause I have won every spelling bee I have been in."
"Like an egghead."
Spitfire made her way over to the couple. She was confused, angry, and parched all at once. She solved one problem by gulping down some of her soda. With that taken care of, she continued trotting over to the pair of ponies.
"Wow. So this is how your gonna play my best friend?"
Within the van, Rapidfire recognized the voice. "Is that Spitfire? You didn't tell her about this?!" Rapidfire spun around on his hooves. His eyes met Soarin's and he glared. "She is going to ruin the whole operation!"
Inside the theater, Rainbow was trying to cook up some kind of excuse. "Um, I don't know what you're talking about." She eventually spoke, her head beginning to glisten with sweat.
Spitfire was not amused. Rainbow turned back to Season. "I don't know who this is. Really." She whispered.
"Oh, ok. I see how this is."
Rainbow made several motions signaling her to stop by taking her hoof and doing a horizontal, slicing move. However. Spitfire did not catch what she ment and continued.
"That is cold. If I didn't have a date patiently waiting on me right now, I would be doing exactly what my name states, spitting fire." She took a sip of her soda and trotted behind them.
In the van, Soarin was proud by Spitfire's actions.
"That my girl right there."
Soarin grabbed some documents of the rack beside him. Lightning leaned over his shoulder to look at it, and Soarin responded by glaring at him. Lightning stood back near tuning equipment.
"As I was about to say, let me ask you a question. Who-- who came up with these panic codes for Dash, huh?" He read over them with a raised eyebrow.
"I feel hot?"
"What would you prefer?"
"Something that can start a conversation like, I don't know, you have a butt chin."
Rainbow and Leafy Seasons calmly walked down the sidewalk in a dimly lit neighborhood.
"Well, here we are. The end of the date good bye." Seasons spoke. He turned around and faced Rainbow Dash.
"Yep."
"Now I know it's a little weird, but I have a little surprise for you. I need you to turn around."
Rainbow grew nervous. This could be it. This guy, wanting her to turn around, want's to give her a 'surprise.'"
I better play it safe.
"Oh, no."
"Come on, come on."
"I don't need a surprise."
Soarin sat with his bowl of popcorn, listening intently to what they were saying. "She needs us. Let's bounce."
"No, no, no. Hold up. She knows what to do. We go now, we will probably blow her cover."
"Come on, come on. Just play along."
Rainbow had worry sketched across her face.
"You know what-" rainbow tried to turn around but was forced back away from the stallion.
"No, no. You will ruin the surprise. Now close your eyes."
"I feel hot. Really hot."
Back in the van, Soarin and Rapidfire's eyes widened. The looked at each other, and threw down their headpieces. They then kicked the back door of the van open and galloped to Rainbow's position.
They shoved pedestrians aside. Eventually, Soarin decided flying over running. He flew over the carts and ponies, nearly crashing into a few flyers as well. He touched down in the neighborhood, with Rapidfire not far behind.
Seasons put a thin wire-like cord around Rainbow's neck. But to her surprise, it didn't start strangling her. She heard a faint click behind her and the object was left hanging around her neck.
"A necklace?"
"You said on your profile that you liked turtles." Seasons had a wide smile adorned on his face. He hugged Rainbow, which she returned.
Still in the hug, Leafy Seasons began talking. "It looks just like the one I saw on my overseas trip!"
"Wow, that is, uh, cool." They released the hug.
"I know, I know. You said you were feeling hot?"
"Oh yeah, I'm feeling cold. VERY, VERY cold." She announced loudly.
Soarin and Rapidfire. We're galloping towards the two. Seasons had his back to them.
"I'm feeling cold. VERY, VERY cold." They heard Rainbow say.
They halted and frantically scanned the area for someplace to hide. With no other options, Soarin wrapped his hooves around Rapidfire's midsection.
"What the hell are you doing?! Get off me!" He whisper-yelled.
"You want to blow her cover? Put these arms around me. C'mon, sell it!"
Rapidfire hooked one forleg over Soarin's waist. He looked as uncomfortable and angry as possible.
"Rub my back at a medium pace."
With a scowl, Rapidfire slowly rubbed his hoof over Soarin's back.
"You're an idiot."
"Make it tender!"
"I'm being tender!"
"Wait, this just in."
Soarin took one of his hooves and clutched Rapidfire's rear. He responded by looking like someone was trying to squeeze him out of a squeezable jelly container.
"Love is in the air, huh."
"Yep, something." Rainbow responded. "Something is."
I wish I had a camera!
Soarin was still holding onto his rear and Rapidfire was still rubbing his back. "I will beat you within an inch of your life when this is over." Rapidfire growled.
"So how was your date?"
Soarin had just arrived home after that... interesting debacle. His parents were lounging on the couch, sharing a bowl of popcorn. Storm's face was stuffed with it, and Glide was eating one piece at a time.
"Well, uh.... Rainbow's guy wasn't a serial killer. That was a complete buzzkill. Got a little action from Rapid. Middle school style. Over the clothes and whatnot."
"Come sit." Glide happy offered. She patted the space beside her.
"I really wanna talk about something. This isn't normal, you see that? I don't see how all of us back together will work out. You're divorced. It doesn't feel right with everybody being back together like one, big, happy family again. I'm also in my thirties. It's weird."
Soarin turned his attention to theme small, boxy television.
"Is that The Unicorn Who Could Fly ?"
Glide nodded. Soarin plopped his body onto the couch. With a grunt, he repositioned and got comfortable.
"Nopony understood him except Milky. And then he just flew away.... into the clouds. Ya know, sometimes I feel like that little colt. I just want to fly away..."
"Soarin, you can fly."
"........ That is irrelevant."
"How?"
"......"
"Anyway, I did your laundry. It is on your bed." She paused and rubbed Soarin's leg.
"This is exactly what I am talking about. I don't need you to do my laundry."
"Do you like your socks folded or in balls?"
"Those socks aren't mine. They're Rainbow Dash's."
"That explains why they looked so sexy on me."
Soarin looked at his mother, utterly horrified. He now has a mental picture of his mother in multi colored socks, looking at him with a sultry expression. He shuddered at the thought. Glide had a grin stretched from ear to ear.
"There are some things that you do NOT share with your son. And that is at the top of the list!"
"Oh well, and I did them in balls."
"Good, I like them in balls."
Within the police station, Misty Fly directed Soarin and Rainbow Dash into the conference room. It had a mahogany table that stretched from one side of the room to the other. The walls were a deep shade of red, with a black bordering at the floor and ceiling. On the table, many small cups filled with pens sat. There was a blank chart in a far corner of the room. There was only a single window. However, it didn't bring any light into the room. It was covered by some dark purple curtains that reached all the way to the floor.
Misty Fly, or the Chief, paced back and forth within the room.
"Dash, Soarin, this is Mr. Fallow Fields. He is a technical rep from lookingforlove.com and he is going to help us track our profiles and and how our suspects correspond to this case." Rainbow Dash stood up and put a hoof to her chest.
"Hello Mr. Fields. I am Detective Rainbow Dash. I'm also Prism in this whole mess."
"Yeah, I got that." He replied flatly.
"Sweet. I'm Soarin. And I'm myself, the whole time."
Soarin didn't seem to care that be was saying.
"Now that Mr. Fields is a bit less probable, our next suspect has a screen name if Mr. Possibilities." Misty Fly turned toward the brown stallion. "Can you put up his profile, please?"
He did so, and a young looking colt appeared on the screen. He had blue eyes, wavy maroon hair, and a dark blue coat.
"Ohhh, that's niiiiiiiice ....." Rainbow nodded while she spoke. She looked at Misty. "That's real nice right there."
"He looks like a male model." She said as she was enraptured by the profile photo.
"I was a hoof model." A voice abruptly mentioned.
Soarin grabbed the pen in front of him. He picked it up and held it flat on his hoof.
"You want to buy this pen? No?" He curved his hoof upwards and balanced it upright.
"Now you do "
Rainbow rolled her eyes. Soarin always got jealous when she admired another stallion. He usually made up ridiculous lies to change the subject.
"He is an artist, a ski instructor, and he has a charity for foals in orphanages."
"And this guy is single?" Misty asked to no-one in particular. Fields nodded. "I have really missed out on this online thing."
Everypony in the room directed their attention to Misty.
Did she forget that she's married? They all unanimously thought.
"I will just let you go on your own. To work. I'm going to my office."
Misty awkwardly rose to her hooves and walked out the door. With her gone, Fallow Fields began to speak.
"So, you have messaged this guy four times."
"Yeah, I can't get a stupid date with him though."
"Easy, Blossom Does Cloudsdale." Soarin responded with his usual smirk. He got a view of the computer screen.
"He looks like a douche."
"He does not!"
"He looks like a big bag of douche to me."
"Urg, never mind."
Fields broke the short-lived silence. "If you ask me, I think you need to spruce up your profile."
"Spruce up? Why should it be spruced up? It seems fine to me."
"Because, you seem boring."
"Me? Boring? You must have your head on backwards."
"No, you just need to liven up your profile. I'm mean seriously, who puts Frozen Horizons as one of their favorite tv shows? You need to get.... spicier."
"Why would you do that? Why would you ever make fun of Frozen Horizons?" Soarin questioned.
"I don't really-"
"Dude, why would you take a shot at it?"
"I never saw it."
Soarin frowned at him.
Why would you do that to something you have never even seen before?!
"I will check it out."
"Ok"
"On a lighter note, to get this guy's attention,-"
"Spit it out. What will it take?" Rainbow impatiently tapped her front hooves against the wooden floor.
"I think we should change everything. We are not trying to attract a thirty year old guy living with his parents."
Soarin nervously chuckled. Rainbow not-so-subtlety laughed at him.
"That is so true." Rainbow agreed, still laughing terribly.
"Pathetic." Soarin mumbled.
"I must say that this is the first time I was hoofprinted on a date." Winter Haze and Spitfire were role-playing as a police officer and a suspect at the police station.
"Sir, just keep cooperating." She looked at him with raised eyebrows. "Or I will have to take you to the interrogation room." Haze chuckled.
"Spitz! What are you doing?"
"I am in the middle of a date."
"How can," he waved his front left hoof in circles. "This, still be going on?"
"She is 'booking' me." Haze stated, albeit with a large grin.
"Some of us are in there working are flanks off, doing real detective work. There, in the conference room. While you two are acting like foals out here." Seriousness seeped from Soarin's tone.
Spitfire and Haze looked at the brown paper bag Soarin had with a newfound interest.
"What?" Soarin glanced down at the bag, but saw nothing wrong.
"It is my lunch. My mother packed it. Which is why it is labeled Soar-Soar " He deadpanned. "No pony can steal it. Which happens regularly."
"Um, well..."
"Have YOU been stealing my lunch?!" Soarin angrily shot daggers at Spitfire.
"Hehe, maybe?"
"Hey Soarin. What do ya think?"
Rainbow Dash walked out of the changing room at a clothing store. She wore a form fitting dress that was light blue at the top, and faded to purple at the end. It has holes for her wings, which were fanned out at her sides.
"Uh... you... look like your late to a skimpy video shoot."
"Soarin, just chill ok? I don't want to date any of these dudes. Did you forget I'm solving a murder?"
"Prism?" A voice called from down the hall.
Great, it's the necklace dude.
"Seasons." Rainbow gave a grin and waved to him.
"C'mon, this guy? He's some hayfries smothered in... failing... ketchup."
Seasons called from the room again. "Did you get the flowers I sent?"
"Yeah, and then this doofus ate them." Rainbow replied. Soarin shrugged.
"Hey, food is food."
"Those were not for eating!"
Rainbow began to trot over to were Seasons was trying on a tuxedo. Soarin followed close behind her.
"They were nice, at least, before they were eaten." She shouted to him.
"This guy has been eliminated as a suspect. So we can leave now."
"Eliminated? Just because he didn't kill me then doesn't mean he won't kill me now." Rainbow rebutted.
"What, do you want to be killed?"
"No!" Her feathers ruffled as she glared at Soarin, eyes full of annoyance.
"Fine your right, ok. But I'm the wingpony."
"I don't need a wingpony."
Without noticing, Rainbow Dash and Soarin were standing in front of Leafy Seasons. Rainbow nervously smiled at him.
"Who is this?"
"A friend." She responded hastily.
Friend. That's me. Just friending it up over here."
What? Rainbow thought
"I'm in the friend thing, right?
She sighed, "Yes Soarin, what else would you be?"
"A banana."
"Why in Equestria would you be a banana?"
".... What is that? A suit for your school pictures?" Soarin looked over Seasons' apparel. Leafy Seasons looked down at it and shrugged.
"Nope. When I get an important deal complete, I buy myself a suit. I do commercial real estate. I build some pretty awesome stuff. Like skyscrapers, or government buildings. What do you do?"
"I'm a detective, Jack. And I build... Canterlot furniture stuff." He turned to Rainbow. "I've got nothin'."
"He lives with his parents." She looked at the tuxedo wearing colt flatly.
"They need somepony to care for them. They are too old and frail to survive on their own. One has a Colostomy bag."
"Its not like the live in the woods. And neither of them have a Colostomy bag."
"Well, no but....... forget it."
"Hey, Soar-Soar, come put these on. I bet they will look adorable on you!" The three equines faced the owner of the voice. Glide was hovering by a rack of clothing. In her hooves, she held a bright yellow hat with a matching shirt. The words across the shirt said, "I like bagels."
Soarin sped over to his mother. He hurriedly tried to shoo her off. When that failed, he began to talk at a dull whisper.
"I appreciate you deciding to come with me.... even though I didn't ask... but I'm am in a investigation right now!" He said in a hushed tone.
Glide, however, was unfazed. "Just hold this up to your shoulders." She set the hat onto his head. It didn't look quite right to the mare, so it was adjusted several times. Each time it scratched across Soarin's ears and he tilted them back. Now with more room to adjust, Glide got the hat in the perfect position. With that done, she landed on the floor. And nodded at her small accomplishment with the hat. She passed him a small mirror.
"I'm investigating a mur--. Oh, that's neat. You see that? It's pretty nice."
"Do you want to go out again sometime?"
"No.. I'm...look Seasons, you are a cool guy, but I'm not the one for you. That guy is my ex," she pointed her hoof at Soarin. "And we're going to get back together."
"Really? Him?"
"That's his mom."
"Well, he is a lucky guy."
Rainbow had a bittersweet smile. She cocked her head to the side slightly. Her rainbow locks drifted in front of her nose. She went cross eyed trying to focus on the strand. Her head tilted further and the strand brushed against her nose. She sneezed.
"Bless you, and good luck." Seasons bore a sad, slanted smile. He looked downtrodden. With his head hanging partially down, he trotted off into the stallions dressing room.
"What the hell is going on here?"
"Gah! Soarin! What are you doing?!"
"Asking a question. Can you answer it? That guy just looked like you told him that his grandma died. You know what? Disregard that question. Is this about you, showing off? Do you just want to make yourself seem better than all those other mares? You know, the ones that DIED. Probably from this possibilities guy..."
"What? Am I not attractive? Is that what's going on?"
"I don't know. Those mares are dead. Your competing with mares that were murdered."
"I have got to be attractive. I mean, you see this?" Rainbow swayed her flanks side to side and flicked her mane back. "C'mon, you have to be stupid not to think that this is sexy, or maybe a gay pony might not think I am...." She put a hoof to her chin. She focused on a spot on the floor as she pondered who would think that she is not sexy. "I think I hate those mares now."
"The dead ones? The murdered ones?"
"Yeah, it's pretty messed up and disrespectful that I said that, huh."
Soarin thought for a second. Then it finally clicked.
"Actually, it great that you said that."
"Hang with me Fields! We have been concentrating this entire time on the guys, but what if it was a mare? There could just be an angry mare that can't get this Mr. Possibilities to go on a date with him!"
Soarin was walking back and forth in the conference room. Fallow Fields was sitting in a swivel chair, facing his large laptop. He hooves cracked across the keys.
"Mares. They smell your pheromones and the fangs come out."
"What are pheromones?"
"Never mind, but I have seen it first hoof."
"I bet you have. You are like a swordspony." Soarin said as he leaned over his chair.
"I was captain of my fencing team in high school."
"Not what I meant. But seriously, what if it's a mare that is killing off the competition?"
Soarin put is hooves on Fallow Fields shoulders. Fields continued typing and hacked into the profile. He found that a mare had messaged him eleven times. Her name was Blaze.
"This chick went off the charts for this guy, and she didn't even get a response." They both laughed. "Kind of creepy. Even for creepy online mares."
"Can you pull up a picture?"
"Sure, lemme just.... There we go."
"Oh boy. This isn't good."
The picture depicted a mare that Soarin saw at Spitfire's family reunions. She looked almost exactly like her. The only differences were that Blaze's mane didn't have yellow in it, and her coat color had more orange than Spitfire's.
"It's Spitfire's sister."
Once Soarin got far enough away from Spitfire and Blaze, he took flight to another windmill. Unlike the other ones on the putting grounds, this one was old and rusted with a strong scent of burnt tires. He crawled in the small 3 foot hole into the hollowed space inside.
His bags, some saddlebags and a duffle bag, were stationed within. He reached out to his light blue saddlebags and lifted the flap. His hooves circled around the inside of it, searching for his rectangular device. Once he retrieved it from the confines of the bag, he clicked a button and the screen blinked to life. He dug around in the saddlebag once more, looking for the long, thin rod used to operate the black device laying before him. He found it and took it in his mouth. He began to type numbers in a specific sequence. When he finished, Soarin spat out the stylus onto the ground. A familiar repeating tone was heard coming from the device. The sound halted, and was replaced by a voice.
"Hello?"
"Hey Dashie. I just accused Spitfire's sister of being a serial killer."
"What did I tell you about calling me that? And also, what in your imbecilic mind compelled you to do that?!"
"Meh, I just did. Anyhow, since everything here is as awful as possible at the moment, why don't we make it a bit better by making this a date night tonight?" Soarin was hopeful that she would agree with him. He has already had to have her deal with a bounce of random, possible serial killers, on a date. He silently prayed that she don't have another date with one tonight.
"Ooh, Soarin, I can't do that." Rainbow became giddy. "Cause I got a date with Mr. Perfect!" She sang.
Fuck
"You sound excited."
"Hell yeah! Um, as a detective. For the break. I really need you in my ear for surveillance. I can't do this without you."
Soarin struggled to find a response.
"I-"
"Soarin, you need to find something way to be ok with this."
"Do you have any idea what I've been through?! My marefriend seems to have a new coltfriend. My best friend has a new coltfriend. My mom bought me a hat..." Soarin took a depressing tone. "Look, I just need-- I need somepony to talk to here."
"Soarin, I'm sorry, and I really would go on a date with you right now, but we are really busy right now."
Soarin sighed and hung up. Rainbow had been continuously going on dates with possible killers. How could he not be worried. Not to mention incredibly stressed out.
I need to go... somewhere....
"Mom! Dad!"
Soarin climbed up the stairs of his current residence. The wooden steps creaked with each step he took. The area was very dim. There were no windows to let light in, so it was slightly chilly within the space. The walls were about two feet away from him on each side, and he stepped up comfortably on the soft carpet beneath his hooves.
"I think I could use a little chat."
Soarin reached the top of the staircase. He banged his hoof on the door.
"Mom! Ugh, look Dad--"
In the room, Soarin saw a horrible sight. A pale blue stallion, Ice Storm, and a aquamarine mare with a purple mane, Glide, were enjoying some, activities , in the bed. The both gasped in horror when they saw their son open the door. For Soarin, everything else happened in slow motion.
"Nnnnoooooo!!!!" Soarin shock his head side to side and raised his hooves.
"Sssooooaaarrrrr-SSSSSoooooaaaaarrrrr!!!!"
He slammed the door behind him.
"Fly Milky. Fly high. Into the clouds."
Soarin was laying on his bed. The covers still bore the faces is past Wonderbolts from when he was seven. He held a pillow to his chest. His eyes where wide and his pupils were the size of pinpricks.
"I want you to feel like you can ask me anything."
His father sat it the door of the bed. Ice Storm was facing away from him. He held both hooves together and looked at the various figurines on the shelves.
"There are no silly, stupid questions."
"Please, stop making sounds with your mouth." Soarin pleaded.
"It all happened very organically. I still can't fully process it myself. Maybe it went out of our history or.... maybe a new outlook on life. Post the bullet ripping through my chest."
Soarin continued looking at the wall. Ice Storm, much to his displeasure, continued speaking.
"Plus, your mother is a very attractive mare."
Soarin immediately shoved his hooves in his ears. He scrunched his face to the point that he looked like he was constipated.
"And I'm a stallion. With needs."
"Ugh!" Soarin rolled over on the bed. He now faced the cream hued ceiling. "Dad? When I was a little colt..."
"Good, good. Keep going." Storm urged, still not looking as the pegasus behind him.
"I had a reoccurring nightmare that aliens abducted me. And they did experiments an my brain. Where are those aliens now?!"
"Soarin, look-"
"Please take me away..." he raised his hooves towards the ceiling. He flopped them down back onto his stomach after a few seconds.
"I don't know anything about aliens, but I do know that lovemaking is a beautiful thing. It's a product of a loving relationship."
Soarin was disinterested about what Ice Storm was speaking of. He turned his head over to the right. On his nightstand, a stack of recent fashion catalogs were piled up. On two of them, there was a snapshot of a familiar colt. He grasped the papers and held it to his face. His eyes widened as he realized what this ment.
"Holy crap." He dragged himself out of the bed and sat down by his father.
"Dad, look at this guy."
"Woah, woah, Soarin. Oh don't think I'm ready for this conversation." He was obviously taking the wrong meaning of his son's words.
"No, look, it's the same guy. It's the same stallion." Soarin rose and walked over to the old, boxy computer. He turned it on and went to the "lookingforlove.com" website. He searched the name that came to mind and pulled up his profile. On it was a navy blue colt with maroon hair.
"These pictures were taken straight from the catalog and photoshopped with different backgrounds." He explained. Like this one with him wear in the ski gear. It was shot in a studio of some sort right? Well, look at this." He pulled up a picture of the same colt. One had a plain white background, the other had snow covered trees.
"Soarin, how long have you been obsessed with this guy?"
/"Dad, I gotta go. This talk of ours will have to wait until after we're dead." Soarin patted Ice Storm's back with a hoof. "Even then, the dead me is not going to have any questions for the dead you. Cause it wasn't organic." He started trotting to the corridors that lead away from his room. Once he was halfway down the hall, he began to shout. "AND YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT LOVEMAKING!"
"Thanks for joining the case buddy." Spitfire slowed the blue vehicle to an abrupt halt.
"No problemo."
Soarin and Spitfire were sitting comfortably in a small car. This was the usual car that they used for all of their little missions. They even had a name for it, the Blueberry. The inside of the Blueberry was mostly a gray hue, excluding the black dashboard and seat designs.
"And I'm sorry for accusing your sister of murder. Like a whole Bride of Chucky thing."
"It's cool. I know what it's like to be lonely and single."
"Hate to burst your bubble, but I'm not single, Spitty. And that was you as of yesterday."
"Oh Soarin, you don't seem to have a lot of space in that tiny brain of yours. You want to try shoving a flash drive in your ear again?"
"As much as I really want to smack you, I'm sorry. Maybe it's because I walked in on my divorced parents having sex."
Spitfire made a face of disgust. She shook her head side to side, trying to clear the image from her head.
"Then my dad set me down and told me that my body is a wonderland."
"Are you sure that what you saw? Please tell me that you didn't see that."
"Yes, I'm 100% positive." Soarin whispered as the memory resurfaced. "What about you?"
"What?"
"Did you ever walk in on your parents?"
"My parents never had sex, Soarin." Spitfire insisted.
"Of course they did."
"Nope, didn't happen. Your looking at one of Celestia's perfect little miracles." She turned to him and did the best innocent skill she could muster.
"Oh yeah? Than explain Blaze." Soarin countered.
"I'm still not sure that she wasn't adopted."
"Were is she by the way?"
"I don't know! Soarin,, why are we sitting in front if some dudes house?"
"Because it isn't just 'some dude', Spitty. He is Mr. Possibilities." Soarin pulled a pair of binoculars from the glove box. He took the caps of the lenses. Before he could pick of the binoculars of his lap, they fell onto the floorboard.
"Crap." He reached down to grab them. In the process, he banged his head on the dashboard. He winced bat the impact and grasped the fallen object. After he sat up again, her rubbed what would soon be a bruise on his head. With a sigh, he Soarin continued his speech.
"Mr. Possibilities isn't who he says he is. His real name is Wooden Chest and he fabricated an entire profile to try to make the perfect single stallion living here."
"Why would he do that?" Spitfire asked as Soarin passed the binoculars to her. She gazed throughout the lines and saw a brown stallion eating lunch with a yellow mare.
"Because he is already married. Rapidfire confirmed that he has a record. And he is the only one left of the original six."
"I would never cheat on Haze. I can't imagine not having him in my life now."
"Seriously? Just think back to yesterday at 6:00 p.m. Come on, we have a marriage to destroy.
"My husband is having an affair?" A yellow coated mare with red and white hair stood before them. She looked doubtful at them. To her, this was some kind of joke, a prank.
Her house was a beige color with a white spiral staircase. The steps were covered in a tan carpet, while the living room and kitchen were hardwood floors.
"If only it was that simple Mint." Soarin replied. Spitfire stood a few feet away with her eyebrows raised.
There were hoofsteps coming from the staircase. The brown colt from earlier was coming down them. When he reached the bottom, he faced his spouse.
"I'm just coming down for-- What's going on? Who are these guys?"
"Soarin, Detective. This is my partner.... Apple... Nuts."
"What?" 'Apple Nuts' said.
"We are both not married. Although she has a new coltfriend, and my marefriend is currently seeing other ponies. But for professional reasons-- She is a pro."
"You have a profile on a dating website?!" Mint yelled, ignoring Soarin's babbling.
"Go ahead Chest, tell her. You used online dating to live your single days again. Tell her how you created this 'Mr. Possibilities' profile and started living a double life." Soarin held up a tablet. On it was the profile he was speaking of.
"Chest?!" His wife provoked him to answer.
"The one thing you didn't count on was those two young mares. Figuring you out and threatening to turn you into your wife. Isn't that right Spitty?"
"I'm hearing this stuff for the first time." She looked around their living room. Sporting a bowl of candy, she walked over to it and shoved some pieces into her mane.
"You had no choice but to get rid of them. The old fashioned way. Ppppsssshhhhkkkk." He continued making "choking" sounds. He vividly pictured what would have happened in his head. The mares were being checked while her stood in front of them, pressing the mare into the tree. It flashed constantly between different angles. Then his reoccurring memory of the horrific event that played out at his parents house was picture once more. Still in slow motion. He snapped out of his flashback.
"Who is Soar-Soar?!" Mint demanded.
"I don't know! I would never
"How could you do this to us?!" Mint pointed at a family portrait hanging about above their stone fireplace.
"Yeah, how could you? Look at that pugs face. Look at it! Shame on you. Shame on you. You recently did something office related huh. Didn't ya?"
"I-I went out with my Secretary for lunch once, just once."
"Did you order dessert? Soarin asked.
"Did you order dessert?!"
"Yeah, maybe, I don't know! What-- What does this matter?!"
"I'll tell you what I'm going to do, Jack. I'm gonna call a car to come arrest you." Soarin reached into it tucked right wing. He nosed around until he pulled out the black, rectangular device that he used earlier today. He grabbed the stylus next and typed in more numbers. The phone dialed it and it was answered.
"Hey Lightning, I need one paddy wagon, one patty melt, some yellow crime scene tape, and two cinnamon rolls. I want it delivered to the following address,"
Soarin walked out their back door. He was speaking on the phone with Rainbow Dash.
"So this whole thing is off?" She questioned.
"I got good news and better news. Good news is that you don't have to go on that date with Mr. Perfect cause he's married."
"Married?" Rainbow said in disbelief, and a little disappointment too.
"That was the good news."
Rapidfire, who was listening in on the call from his car, decided to cut in.
"I'm sorry Detective Dash."
"Why is everyone so sorry? I busted this dude by figuring out that he murdered those mares when they discovered his dirty little scam."
"Did he look as good as he did in the pictures?"
Soarin turned to his left. Wooden Chest was sitting cuffed in a squad car's backseat. He was yelling at his wife. "Honey. Please!"
"Yeah I guess so... Hello?"
Rapidfire and Dash were now conversing with each other.
"Its a tough break, Dash, but ill tell you something. I will go snatch this guy up and book him. Why don't you go watch a couple episodes of Sex in the City at home and shake this whole thing off."
"What is she shaking off exactly?"
Both Rainbow Dash and Rapidfire hung up.
"Hello?"
Soarin hung up his phone. As soon as he did, it rang again.
"Hello my dear. You know what I think will make you feel better is if you go home tonight, dress up into your Prism outfit, and do a little dance to pour sugar on me."
"It isn't Dash, but I'd be willing to wear what I'm wearing now and drop it like it's hot."
"Fields?"
"You wanted to know if there was any activity on Mr. Perfect's account."
"I don't need that anymore because Mr. Possibilities, aka Mr. Perfect, has been busted."
"Well then I don't know how you explain this. He just sent an email ten minutes ago."
"Huh, unless he used his teeth or hit the keys with his nose while hoofcuffed, that's not possible."
"Unless the guy you have in cuffs isn't Mr. Possibilities."
Soarin looked back at the stallion in the squad car.
"Hmm."
He hung up the phone and placed is back under folded wing.
Please tell me that I didn't fuck this up.
Rainbow Dash stood on a bridge overlooking a shallow river. She dug out the mike that was fastened on her jacket. She looked it over several times and sighed. Not wanting to continue looking at it, she threw it in the river below her. Rainbow turned around.
I'm just gonna go home. I need some sleep anyway.
She looked up and recognised a colt hovering in front of her. She gasped.
"Burning Light?!"
He cocked his head to the side with a wide smile.
"Hello, Prism ."
"You weren't expecting to see me here, Prism?"
Rainbow Dash looked around in fear. There wasn't any police ponies coming up the path, nor were they listening in from the wooded area to her left and right. Light, seeing her scan the area, looked himself.
"You waiting on a date or something?"
"No, to be honest I sort of gave up on the whole dating thing. To much drama for a pony as awesome as me."
"Haha, me too, me too. So your not expecting a Mr. Possibilities?"
"Who? No. I don't know who that is."
Light chucked and landed on the creaky wood platform. He took a few steps toward her, and with each step, Rainbow got more nervous.
"Prism." He continued chuckling. Eventually, he was directly in front of her, clicking his tongue.
"What? Who is he?"
"Well, he is nobody. He doesn't exist. I'm sorry, did you think-- Yeah, really bad news for you, is that I created him." Light reached into his coat.
"To prove a point." When his hoof left the pocket, it returned with a gun. He took it in his mouth and carefully affixed it to his hoof correctly. All the while, he was still pointing it at Rainbow Dash.
"Rapid, we gotta go! Dash is in trouble!"
"What are you talking about?"
"I will explain on the way. Spitz, let's go!"
Soarin ran towards Detective Rapidfire's car. He slammed the door shut after he was inside. The vibrations caused his coffee cup to spill over the seat.
"Damn it Soarin!"
"Such a beautiful day, isn't it?"
What the fuck is wrong with this guy?! He wants to kill me and is going to start with small talk?!
"Lets go look at some ducks." Light grasped her by her left foreleg. He forced her down off the path.
"Nice and easy." He coaxed her, still pointing the gun at her side.
"It will be just like a date."
"To prove a point to who?"
"Oh, to all of you mares. Because you lie!" He got in her face. He glared at her. "Watch your step."
"You say that you want a nice guy, but then, ha ha ha! Your all so damn shallow. And I just proved it!" He pulled her to a stop. He sighed tiredly.
"I hate this. This is just-- This is just a terrible, horrible thing your making me do Prism." He shoved her again to get her moving.
"Light! No one is making you do anyth--"
"YES, YOU ARE!" He shouted in her face.
Soarin, Spitfire, and Rapidfire sped down an old boulevard. Rapidfire was very stoic, and Soarin and Spitfire both showed faces of worry. The sirens wailed above their heads, and the light emitted was seen faintly on the abandoned houses they were whizzing past. Soarin thought back to when he saw the pictures if Mr. Possibilities. Instead of focusing on the person, he analyzed the background. He then remembered a picture he saw a few days back. It was the profile of one of the suspects that was disqualified as a threat. He analyzed the background of it and realized that the background from the Mr. Possibilities profile and the suspects were one in the same.
"Sea pony guy." He muttered. "Rainbow's date from the Italian restaurant."
"Yeah, I dated both of those girls that wound up dead. Hell, I'm the one who killed them! They rejected me. The made excuses on why they weren't ready for a relationship. Then the turned around and they were totally into my, uh, fictitious alter ego, Mr. Possibilities, because he seems like the perfect dude. He looked sexy and perfect. Ya see, mares.... don't want what they say they want. And your the same." They were surrounded by trees on all sides. He roughly shoved Prism to the ground. He cocked the gun.
Tires screeched across the ground as a midnight blue vehicle's brackes were slammed. Three ponies threw the doors open. One had a gun of his own.
"This is the meeting place. She can't be far off. Split up!" Soarin yelled as he shoved Rapidfire out of the way. He sprinted into the undergrowth.
"Remember our date at the restaurant? Remember what you told me? That things were-- What was it Prism? They were to complicated for you? The. You turn around and write to Mr. Possibilities, partly begging to go out with him.
Rapidfire ran through the woods. There were to many low tree limbs for him to fly, so he kept to the ground.
I almost gave you a pass but you kept writing. You were relentless! You just had to go out with him! Didn't you?"
Rainbow tried to turn around and face him. "No I didn't--"
"Don't turn around!" Light shoved her again. She fell awkwardly and tried to scurry away from him. He followed her, still aiming the gun at her.
"W-wait!"
Soarin ran full speed through the dense vines and lumpy leaves that littered the forest floor. He stopped for a second to get his bearings. He then noticed something peculiar on the ground....
"But I'm not like those other mare." Rainbow insisted. She was panting and dirty from being pushed onto the muddy ground. "I did like you. Maybe a little too much. I just didn't think you were into me." Light kept walking towards her. She took a few steps back in response. "I just don't think you liked me. I was actually kind of nervous. Really because I didn't think that somepony like you would like.... somepony like me. It's true. I wondered the entire time... what you would look like, without those glasses."
He reached up with a wing, about to remove the glasses from his face.
"May I?" Rainbow Dash tried to step to him, but he spoke the gun at her. He was nervous, but he let her take the glasses off him.
"See? That is way better. When is look into your eyes, I see that you feel really deeply about stuff. I get it why you had to kill all of those mares."
"You do?"
Is he actually buying this?
"And now... it can just be you... and me."
Crap, now I've got to do this.
Rainbow leaned forward and joined lips with Burning Light. As soon as he was completely distracted by it, she bent the foreleg with the gun against his back and shoved him to the ground. The pegasus then jumped onto his back and pinned him on the earthy soil.
"Rainbow! Imma commin!" Soarin leaped down from a few rocks. He stopped as when he took a few steps.
"Oh come on guys! Get a room."
"Really?!"
Soarin and Rainbow Dash leaned against one of the police cars. Light was already on his way to the police station, while the began to slowly trot around.
"Ya see? Dating isn't as good as it cracked up to be." Soarin said with a smirk.
"Had its moments."
"You made out with a serial killer." he deadpanned.
"You basically made out with Rapidfire."
"Touche'. I had a startling revelation this week. A real big one. Super huge one."
"Yes?"
"I don't want to live with my parents."
"Really?"
"I, uh, like the way we fit. It's like a coffee stained puzzle."
"And why would it be stained?" Rainbow inquired.
"Because you were careless and knocked your decaf coffee all over it."
"I don't drink coffee, Soarin."
"Oh, you will."
Rainbow Dash raided and eyebrow at him, but said nothing. They stopped at the balcony that the prismatic mare was standing on before she was taken by Light.
Soarin interrupted the silence. "I think it's time that we moved in together."
Soarin took his wing and cradled her face. She had a light blush from him doing so in public. He put his wing back at his side.
"And that doesn't scare you somehow?"
"Jeebus, I thought about it, and believe me. I just realized that I have lived in the same apartment for over three months since I met you. And home... should be wherever you are. And the dogs we are gonna get, pretty soon. So wherever you... and the fleet of pugs are, that's where I want to be."
"About time. I feel the same way. Maybe a little wary on the pugs."
"C'mon, you can fit their tiny faces right in your mouth."
"They just squish right in there-"
"You can eat those little faces right up."
"So what made you so sure?" Rainbow faced him. She bore more seriousness in her expression.
"I learned a lot this week, moving back in with my dad. I learned that you can't go back to your childhood home."
"No, it's just a place made in your mind."
"No, seriously I can't go back to that house, ever. Under any circumstances. Never again." Seeing Rainbow's puzzlement, he continued speaking. "I saw my parents doing it."
She gasped loudly. "What?!"
"Yep."
"Your kidding." She asked out of disbelief.
"I wish I was. There was a horrifying, tangle of limbs. Like more limbs that even made sense. There was old ponies skin and these primal noises."
"Noises?!" She shook her head side to side, much like Spitfire did.
"Noises like an Aardvark."
"Dude, I am so sorry."
"You want to know something else crazy?" Soarin politely asked.
"Sure."
"I'm going to kiss you on the mouth now."
He leaned forward and smooched with her.
"Live with me." They smooched again.
Like a 5 year old filly, she responded. "Otay."
Back at their humble office, Soarin and Spitfire sat by her computer. Soarin more or less, sat on her desk while she used the chair.
"Boom, bye single Spitfire."
"I know I was a bit threatened by you and Haze's relationship in the beginning, but I am happy for you two."
"Thanks, I appreciate it."
"I only half mean it."
"Yeah, I figured. My relationship isn't where you and Rainbow Dash's yet. But where getting there." She looked at him slyly.
"Woah. Easy there tiger. Take thing little foal steps. These types of things are delicate. Take it slow, get to know each other. Maybe break up."
Spitfire, who was nodding with every few words, halted and glared at him. A quiet knock on the wall drew their attention to the stallion in the doorway.
"Well look who is here." Spitfire jumped from her seat and gave Winter Haze a hug.
"I'm not interrupting anything here, right?"
"Nope."
They kissed in the doorway.
"When were both sort of... never mind"
"Hello boo." Haze tickled Spitfire's nose with a primary feather.
"That was sweet. The kind of sweet I was looking for."
Soarin, being a douche, walks up to the and put I'd head close to Haze's.
"Hello, boo." He said with a roll of his eyes.
"You don't get to use boo, Soarin." Spitfire spoke.
"Ok then. Anyway I just wanted you to tell your sister that I won't be accusing her of murder again."
"Thanks." She prodded him in the chest. "I want you to recognize that we are good friends. I'm sure Haze won't interfere with that."
Soarin gratefully smiled. "I'm gonna go get us some snacks. Do any of you want some?"
"I would like an apple." Haze asked.
"I said snacks..." He caught Spitfire's glare. ".... which means an apple."
Soarin walked back to the kitchen. But not before he tripped over a ball. After he dusted himself off, he flew into it.
"It weird really, we have known each other for a day and I feel really close to you." Spitfire started.
"It's not weird, I feel the same."
"It's comfortable with you. I feel like I could tell you things that I wouldn't have the courage to tell other guys."
"Boo, you can tell be anything."
"And you could do the same."
A young filly, about 10 years old, came barreling through the doorway on a scooter. She was tan with a bright purple mane. Her eyes shone a brilliant orange.
"Oh! Hello Topaz! Spitty, this is my daughter Topaz."
He shooed her into the room. Haze lightly scolded her.
"Topaz, I told you not to do that. Especially not on your new scooter."
While Spitfire started at the duo with amazement, Soarin walked up to her.
"All I could find were some Jolly Ranchers. I-" Soarin turned to the father and daughter.
"Holy crap! Who's that?!"
Spitfire and Winter Haze sat by a golden colored willow tree. It's leaves brushed their noses and they occasionally sneezed. They both decided to bring their sisters with them since their siblings were curious. Spitfire sat with her sister, Blaze, and Haze sat by his, Star Dust.
They ate some cucumber sandwiches with a small salad on the side. Blaze had already eaten two salads and three sandwiches. Spitfire was eating her second cucumber sandwich. Haze had eaten a salad and four sandwiches, while his sister had only eaten one of each.
Spitfire took a large bite of her delectable sandwich. She swallowed it whole. "And the he said, 'Poker? I barely know her!'"
They shared a good laugh. Haze, who was still chewing, nearly choked on his food. Star Dust swung her left hoof around and slammed it across his back.
"Good?"
"Good."
"C'mon, I thought we were going to do something fun!" Blaze shouted at her sister. She didn't like their plans after the picnic.
"We're just playing a game."
"I've never even heard of it!" she whined.
"Because earth ponies usually play it. Just because your a pegasus, doesn't mean the you have to be oblivious to everything besides flying and pulling pranks."
"The only reason why you don't like me pranking ponies is because those colts told the gym teacher after they found out that you put hot sauce in their shower's plumbing."
"What?! No! I do because it is childish!"
"Psh, Whatever Spitty."
Blaze crossed her hooves. She put her nose in the air. It was a really good impression of the Canterlot ponies that Spitfire saw last week. All high and mighty, like they're best friends with Princess freaking Celestia.
Spitfire sat with her head in her hooves. She was shaking it side to side slowly.
She's being more childish than normal.
"Blaze, we gotta go now."
"Fine, but just so you know, I will probably suck at this putting golf stuff."
"So you do it like this."
Spitfire held Blaze's forehooves in her own. She guided them back steadily.
"Do I swing it now?"
"Yes."
Blaze swung the golf club. It hit the ball, and it soared over the windmill she was aiming for.
"Fore!" A voice shouted directly in their ears.
"Dammit Soarin! Will you stop appearing everywhere?!"
"Nope! I came here to apologize to Blaze."
"I met you once. You stole my corn dog." she looked at him with a questioning pose. "Why?"
"Well, we just got of on the wrong foot."
"Hoof."
Soarin became annoyed. "It's my fault and I'm sorry." He said through gritted teeth.
"Yep."
Ugh, now I see why Spitz doesn't hang out with her family often.
"Blaze. You seem like a pony with a lot of love to give."
She nodded.
"Unfortunately, you are a serial killer. She's a killer of mares. Lots of em."
"No, no, no, no, no. Soarin you will not call my sister a murderer!" Spitfire took a few steps forward. He took a few back in turn.
"You will not accuse my sister of killing ponies! Just because Winter Haze isn't a serial killer, doesn't mean that Blaze is!"
"Has he thought that your coltfriends were murders before?" Blaze asked.
"One or twice, yeah."
"Look Spitz, I didn't pick her. I can't help it if she likes to kill." Soarin reared his head back. He then began to shake his mane back and forth, much to the mare's aggravation.
"Enough of that! While you are accusing some innocent mare of murder, there is a real serial killer out there. Possibly getting ready to kill again."
"So I'm some mare now?"
"Yes. Deal with it.." Damn, I would have looked awesome with some shades right now.
"Anyway, you!" Soarin poked Blaze in her chest. She simply raised an eyebrow. "You wanted a date with Mr. Possibilities. Remember him? You should. You wrote to him over eleven times. Each time you were rejected, you got jealous. You went after two mares in the prim of their lives, and killed them. Because if you couldn't have him, nopony could. Am I right?"
"Hold it, so you wrote to some dude eleven times?"
"You're a detective and you make money off of this?!" Blaze yelled.
"It's simple. Prove that you have an alibi for the night of the first murder-- Tuesday the seventeenth. At 11:59." Soarin pointed a hoof at Spitfire. "And you! Do not be the Tom Stalleck to her Polina Porizkov."
"What are you talking about?"
"From Her Alibi , 1989. Rotten tomatometer-- 18%" Blaze stated is if it was common knowledge.
"Audience meter-- 38%." Soarin shot back at her.
"If anything, Spitty would be Jay Farentino."
"Who's that? Some other dude you tried to get a date with?"
Blaze sighed. She pulled out her phone from her mane. An old trick that a sugar high pink pony taught her. She scrolled through her images. Eventually, the wanted one was found. She turned the phone around and faced it to Soarin.
"I'm getting a reward from an amateur stunt flying convention in Manehattan."
"I just need to..... verify all of the information at the police station. But it seems that you're ok to... keep putting. Don't leave town."
"You should be ashamed of yourself." Spitfire glared at him.
"Well, I am."
Soarin turned around. He trotted down the stone walkway. He felt like he was forgetting something.
.Crap, I'm going the wrong way. My stuff is on the other side.
. He spun around again. Both Spitfire and Blaze were still watching him. He nervously walked past them onto the grass.
"Don't mind me. I'm just getting my stuff."
He ducked under the red windmill's blades.
They'll probably have to leave soon anyway. With Blaze's "putting" they will knock out somepony's window .
