Pinkamena and Cheese Sandwich

Pinkie sat in the basement next to her jar of names, she was getting ready to pull one out so she and Cheese could get more ingredients for her cupcakes. She sighed and reached in, pulling out a small, folded slip of paper with somepony’s name on it. She opened the paper to see the name that was written inside.

Pinkie’s eyes went wide as she stared at the small slip of paper in front of her.“I was not expecting that....” Pinkie said aloud to herself.

“What was it you weren’t expecting, dear?” Cheese asked as he descended the stairs.

“This.” Pinkie walked over to him and handed him the slip of paper.

“Oh buck. This is going to be both difficult and very exciting.” Cheese said, handing it back.

Pinkie took it back, nodding and staring at it. “Let’s get to work, shall we?” she asked, putting the slip of paper down.

“Right now?” Cheese asked.

“Don’t be silly, we’ll wait until the sun goes down.” Pinkie said, giggling and hopping back up the stairs. “And first we need to put Gala to sleep.”

“Right, I knew that.” Cheese said, following her to Gala’s room.

When the sun finally sunk below the horizon, Pinkie and Cheese left Sugarcube Corner to go capture their victim. They made their way to the Ponyville Square, and once they got there, Cheese began hesitating.

“Pinkie,” he whispered as they waited for their victim to come out so they could capture her and take her back to the basement. “Maybe we should go back and draw a different name, this could be more dangerous than before.”

“Don’t be silly, Cheese. We’ll be fine, we’ve never been caught before, why should we start now?”

“But….” Cheese started. He shook it off and nodded to himself, “Yeah, you’re right. Let’s do this.” He said as he saw their elected victim walk out of a building.

After a few minutes of surprisingly silent wrestling and fighting, they finally had their victim. They dragged her unconscious body back to the Sugarcube Corner in an old, brown, potato sack.

They dragged the her in the sack down the stairs to the basement, hearing her head crack on the steps each time they went down one. That would leave a couple bruises, but it wouldn’t make the cupcakes taste any worse.

They got her body down to the basement and left the sack on her head while they tied her up. Once they were done tying her up, they pulled the sack off her head, she was still unconscious. They decided they would go get the girls now, and see if they wanted to help; after they tied them up of course.

“Cheese, we have to be really quiet so we don’t wake any of them up.” Pinkie whispered to him as they climbed back up the stairs. “And make sure to tie them up before bringing them down just in case they wake up while we’re bringing them down.”

“Yeah, I got it.” Cheese said as they carefully and quietly made their way up the stairs.

“We also need to gag them so they don’t scream, if they wake up and scream while we’re still carrying them down to the basement we could get caught.”

“Yeah, ok.” Cheese said, nodding.

When they made it to the room where the girls were staying they carefully tied up their hooves and gagged them. After a few minutes, Pinkie Pie and Cheese had three fillies and a mare tied up in their basement.

Sweetie Belle groaned in her sleep and tried to move, when she realized she couldn’t move, she woke up. She blinked her eyes open and looked around groggily. Her eyes widened when she realized where she was, and that she was tied up. She tried to scream, but she had been gagged.

Pinkie noticed that she had woken up and walked over to her. “Hi, Sweetie. Don’t worry, you’re not the one being tortured, Cheese and I just brought you down here to watch, or help. If you’re up to it.”

Sweetie tried to answer back, but of course she was gagged. So instead she just nodded.

“Would you like me to take that off?” Pinkie asked, meaning the gag in her mouth. Sweetie nodded again and Pinkie took it off.

“Who are you guys torturing?” Sweetie asked.

“She’s over there by Cheese.” Pinkie said, pointing.

Sweetie Belle gasped. “Mayor Mare?!”

Pinkie smiled and nodded. “Yup. Pretty good choice, huh?”

“Ummmm...… No. Not really. Without Mayor Mare, Ponyville will be doomed.”

“Not doomed, just ummm…… Mayor-less.”

Just then, Scootaloo decided to wake up. She screamed and screamed, though most of it was muffled by the gag in her mouth. She frantically looked around at Pinkie and Cheese, then at Sweetie Belle, who was looking back at her.

“Pinkie?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“Yes?”

“Do you mind if I help you torture her?”

“That would be fantasterrific!” Pinkie said as she began to untie her. Scootaloo started struggling and screaming since she thought Sweetie was talking about her.

Once Sweetie Belle was untied, she whispered something in Pinkie’s ear. Pinkie nodded and went to the table to grab Barry, her favorite knife, and then she walked back to where Scootaloo was tied. Scootaloo burst into tears, so many that a puddle started forming underneath her.

“Now, Scootaloo. I’m going to tell you a little story about my childhood.” Pinkie said. Scootaloo stopped struggling and the flow of tears slowed down a little. She looked at Pinkie with big, tear-filled, bloodshot eyes.

“When I was just a filly, my sisters and I were captured by two very large, scary stallions. They tied us up and tried to kill us. They probably would have done worse things if we hadn’t escaped.”

Scootaloo stared at her with wide eyes.

“I’m just kidding. That never happened. What really happened was….”

Pinkie told her story to Scootaloo. Gradually Scootaloo stopped crying. When Pinkie told her that she wasn’t going to kill her, there was an audible sigh of relief, even through the gag. Sweetie Belle let out a small giggle, and then asked Pinkie if she could untie Scootaloo.

“No, just take her gag off, then if she wants to help us torture and kill Mayor Mare, then you can untie her.”

“Oh, ok.” Sweetie Belle said. She reached up and pulled Scootaloo’s gag off.

“Thanks.” Scootaloo coughed.

“Don’t mention it. Do you want to help Pinkie Pie and Cheese torture and kill Mayor Mare? I’m helping.” Sweetie Belle asked her.

“Sure, that sounds fun.” She said.

“But, you were crying like a baby just a minute ago.” Cheese said, walking up to the others.

“Yeah….… Well…..… Ummmm……... That was because I thought I was the one who was going to get tortured and killed.”

Cheese laughed slightly, “Alright then. Sweetie Belle, you can untie her now.”

“Yay!!” Sweetie Belle said. She started untying her.

“Excellent. Now all we need is Apple Bloom’s agreement to help us, and Cheese and I will have 4 successors.  Assuming Gala Amour will take on our life’s work, hopefully both of them. Torturing and killing, as well as baking and running a sweets shop.”

Sweetie Belle finished untying Scootaloo and she hopped down and hugged Pinkie Pie. “Thank you Pinkie. You’re the bestest.”

“That’s not a word.” Pinkie laughed and hugged her back.

“Neither is fantasterrific.”

Pinkie laughed, “Yeah, I know. Oh, look, Apple Bloom is waking up.”

When Apple Bloom woke up she looked around without much change in her reaction. She tried speaking, but it didn’t work, and a confused look crossed her face. Sweetie Belle walked over to her and took her gag off.

“Are ya’ll gonna torture me?” She asked.

“No, we brought you down here to see if you wanted to help us torture and kill Mayor Mare.” Pinkie answered.

“I thought you would never ask.” Apple Bloom said, an evil smile forming on her lips.

Pinkie smiled as well and untied her. Not soon after, Mayor Mare finally woke up.

“Pinkie?” Apple Bloom asked before Mayor Mare was fully awake.

“Yes?”

“She’s kind of….. What’s the word? Fluffy. Could we bake her into muffins instead of cupcakes?”

“That’s a brilliant idea, Apple Bloom.” Pinkie said. “Plus we won’t have to spend more money on icing for cupcakes.” Cheese laughed slightly.

“Wha- Pinkie Pie? Cheese Sandwich?” Mayor Mare said as she came back to consciousness. “Oh my. Where am I? What am I doing here?” She gasped when she saw the three fillies. “Girls, what are you all doing here? Why am I tied up? Where am I? Oh, I do believe I’ve already asked that.”

“You’re in the basement of Sugarcube Corner. We’re going to torture you and kill you, and then make cupcakes-”

“Muffins.” Apple Bloom corrected.

“That’s right. Muffins, out of your insides.”

“Oh, but why do you have to torture me first?”

“It makes the meat more tender, or something. I checked out the science of it once before, but I forgot. I mostly just do it because torturing ponies is extremely fun.” Cheese nodded in agreement.

“Oh.” Mayor Mare said. “May I ask how you are to torture me?”

“We don’t know yet.” Cheese said. “We’re just going to figure it out along the way.”

Mayor Mare nodded and swallowed nervously. She tugged gently on her bindings as if to check their strength so she could plan an escape, but that would be impossible.

“Well, let’s get started, shall we?” Pinkie asked. Cheese and all 3 fillies nodded. Pinkie walked over to the torture tools table and put down Barry and picked up a scalpel. “Does anypony remember what we do first?”

Cheese raised his hoof, “Oh! Oh! I know! I know!”

Pinkie rolled her eyes and tried to keep her smile from showing up, “Anypony else?”

“Ummmm...… First you cut off their cutie mark, right? For a keepsake?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Exactly. Would anypony like to demonstrate step one for me?” Pinkie asked, holding out the scalpel to whoever would take it. Nopony stepped up to take the scalpel. Pinkie looked at the girls as they looked at each other.

“I guess I will.” Sweetie Belle said, walking towards Pinkie and taking the scalpel from her.

Sweetie walked up to where Mayor Mare was tied up and she put the extremely sharp scalpel on her flank, piercing it slightly. A small trail of blood ran down Mayor Mare’s leg, and she winced. Sweetie pushed slightly on the scalpel and it easily sank into her squishy flesh. Sweetie carved it in a circle around Mayor Mare’s cutie mark; a scroll rolled up and tied together with a blue ribbon.

Mayor Mare scrunched up her features in pain, and her glasses fell off her face and onto the concrete floor. They smashed into little pieces. Sweetie Belle finished cutting out her cutie mark on her right flank. Pinkie took it off and set it on the table upside down so the blood could dry.

“Would somepony else like to do the other one? Or would you like to do it, Sweetie?” Pinkie asked.

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo stared blankly and the bloody scalpel in Sweetie’s hoof. Neither of them moved so Sweetie walked over to Mayor Mare’s left flank and started cutting a circle around it. Tears slowly dripped out of Mayor Mare’s tired, old eyes and down her face.

Sweetie finished cutting off her left cutie mark and took it off herself. She set it down on the table next to the first one and put the bloody scalpel down in between the two blood covered cutie marks.

Scootaloo and Apple Bloom stared at Mayor Mare. Tears fell down her face and dripped onto the floor. Thin trails of blood ran down her hind legs and dripped off her hooves onto the floor and mixed in with her tears. The shards of glass from her broken glasses sparkled and glimmered with a mixture of blood and tears.

“What are we going to do now Pinkie?” Sweetie Belle asked, surprisingly cheerful for what she had just done.

“Oh, ummmmm….…... Any suggestions?” Pinkie asked the two wide-eyed fillies sitting before her.

They shook their little heads simultaneously .

“Cheese?”

“Well, we could cut of her limbs slowly. Or her ears, nose and tongue, piece by piece. Or perhaps we could-”

He was interrupted by the sound of thick liquid splashing together in a metal bucket. He looked over at where Scootaloo and Apple Bloom had been sitting, and Scootaloo had her head in a bucket and was retching violently into the bucket. She pulled her head up, her mouth and part of her nose were covered in yellowish brown vomit. Her cheeks puffed out and her face seemed to turn a shade of sickly green. She threw her head back into the bucket and continued to vomit.

“Well, I guess she’s out for now.” Apple Bloom said, scooting away from her. The others all nodded.

“Cheese? You were saying?” Pinkie said, motioning for him to continue spouting ideas on how to end this old mare’s life.

“Uhhh, right. We could, ummm…… Let me think.” Cheese put on his thinking face and brought his hoof to his chin.

“Oh, please let me go. I promise I won’t tell anypony what you’ve done.” Mayor Mare had started wailing. “Please, I haven’t done anything wrong.”

“But, you’ve lost your cutie mark, why would you still want to live and be set free?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Well…. I…. I’m not really sure.” Mayor Mare confessed. “But please, if you’re going to kill me would you please do me the honor of making it quick?”

“I’m afraid we can’t do that. If we don’t make you suffer, then the cup- muffins won’t taste good.”

“But I have suffered, you’ve cut off my cutie marks.”

“Well, yeah, but you still haven’t suffered enough to make the muffins taste good. Well, of course they’ll taste good because I’m making them, but if you don’t suffer as much as I see fit, them the muffins will end up tasting like cardboard, or worse.” Pinkie explained.

Mayor Mare began crying more and more. Tears were pouring out of her like water poured out of a broken dam.

“Aha!” Cheese shouted, startling everypony in the room. “I’ve got it!”

“Got what?” Pinkie asked, forgetting that he was thinking of how to torture their victim.

“How we’re going to torture Mayor Mare.” He said. You could almost hear the ‘duh’ at the end of the sentence.

“Oh, right. What did you come up with?” Pinkie asked. Mayor Mare had stopped crying loudly and she was staring at Cheese waiting for him to explain what they were going to do to her.

“We’re going to brand her.” Cheese said. Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom winced simultaneously while Scootaloo dry heaved a few times.

“That’s not extremely painful. Can’t you come up with something better?” Pinkie said, looking at the branding iron sitting unused in the far corner of the basement.

“No, you don’t understand exactly what I meant. I mean we’ll brand her where Sweetie Belle cut off her cutie marks, on the bare tissue.”

“Oh Celestia, please no! Please save me!” Mayor Mare screamed, tears streamed down her face. She continued screaming, her screams getting fainter.

“Cheese, she’s gonna pass out, where did you leave the adrenaline shots?”

“They should be in the drawer next to the scalpels.” He said pointing a hoof towards the drawers.

Pinkie trotted over to the drawers and opened the one to the right of the scalpels. Nothing. She moved over and opened the drawer to the left of the scalpels. There were a bunch of empty syringes.

“Cheese, we’re all out. What are we going to do now?”

“Why are we out? How are we out?” He asked, galloping over to Pinkie to check for himself.

“I don’t know, we must have ran out a while back and neither of us went to get more. Shit, this is a disaster.” Pinkie exclaimed. Cheese coughed and  shook his head at the fillies. “Oh, I meant shoot.”

Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom and Scootaloo exchanged confused looks with each other. They all looked back at Mayor Mare, who had finally passed out. They looked back at the fight going on between Pinkie and Cheese.

They all heard crying coming from upstairs.

“Oh great, now Gala’s awake, I’ll go put her back to sleep. You all stay here.” Pinkie said, galloping up the stairs.

* * *

Meanwhile in the Canterlot Castle, Princess Luna was standing on the balcony looking out over Canterlot, searching for ponies’ dreams she could enter. She sensed that somepony had just fallen asleep, and she searched for that pony and entered her dream.

Princess Luna soon realized that she was in Mayor Mare’s dream. She was tied up in a basement and surrounded by ponies wielding sharp objects. Luna screamed and stumbled back from the balcony into her room in the castle.

“Princess Luna! What happened? What’s wrong?” Shouted a royal guard as he burst into her room, his helmet on sideways as though he had been napping on the job. Luna dismissed that fact and continued onward with the matter at hoof.

“I need to see Princess Celestia, immediately.” She said.

As the guard left to bring Princess Celestia to Luna’s room, Celestia walked in.

“Leave us.” Celestia said to the guard. He straightened his helmet, bowed and left the room. “Dear sister, what’s happened?” Celestia asked, her expression a mixture of confusion, worry, and terror.

“Mayor Mare, in Ponyville, she was having a dream. No, a nightmare.” Luna explained, breathing heavily. “She was tied up in a basement and surrounded by ponies with dangerously sharp weaponry. It was all to real, it could not have been just a dream. And why would she be dreaming of such a thing if it had not happened to her recently?”

“Yes, she could be in grave danger.” Princess Celestia said. “We must check on her and make sure that all is well. It is possible that this is the source of all the recent disappearances in Ponyville lately.” Luna nodded.

Celestia walked out to the balcony and spread her wings. Luna followed her and together they took off towards Ponyville.

* * *

Pinkie Pie had just put Gala back to sleep and was heading back down to the basement. Once she got back down she realized that Mayor Mare had woken up. She was no longer screaming, just sobbing with her head down.

“How did you wake her up?” She asked Cheese.

“I didn’t, she woke up all on her own.” Cheese said. He was holding a branding iron over hot coals.

“I see you’ve almost got the branding iron ready.” Pinkie said. Cheese nodded and turned it over on the coals.

Mayor Mare continued sobbing. Her tears dripping into the puddle of blood beneath her. Cheese pulled the branding iron up from the coals. The metal was red from the heat and smoke floated off of it. Cheese walked over to Mayor Mare holding out the branding iron.

“Oh, Celestia save me.” Mayor Mare cried out hoarsely as Cheese came closer to her.

“Celestia won’t be here to save you.” Pinkie said, standing back and watching at Cheese got closer and closer. She looked down at the three little fillies who were watching with wide eyes.

Just before Cheese pressed the hot iron onto Mayor Mare’s exposed flank, the basement began to shake and rumble.

“Pinkie, what the buck is going on?” Cheese asked, dropping the iron on the floor and backing up.

“I… I have no idea.” Pinkie stuttered, her voice trembling slightly, perhaps along with the shaking of the building.

“Pinkamena Diane Pie!” Shouted Princess Celestia in her Royal Canterlot Voice.

“Oh shit….” Pinkie said, her ears flattening against the back of her head as she backed herself into a corner.