Strangers Like Me
-3-
Previous ChapterNext ChapterI had told myself this would be an issue. I had given myself the same warning repeatedly, each time with varying possibilities of what could go wrong, be it overall or during more specific events.
I had honestly believed this would be horrible, and that I would not even come close to enjoying myself... And so far, I was well on my way of being completely right.
As Twilight had said, there were certainly a lot of ponies. More so than I could even come relatively close to being able to count. This was, to put it lightly, an 'experience'. After all, I've never tried to hide myself away from this many other beings so... It certainly posed quite the challenge.
It was actually a little frustrating to me, though I didn't show it. Everyone seemed to have their own place while they were here. Rarity had gone to intermingle with some of the other nobles, Applejack had taken her own place among the food to provide for the Gala, Rainbow Dash made sure never to leave the side of a certain group of pegasi, Twilight had disappeared into the crowd some time ago--likely to search for the princesses--Pinkie Pie had... Well, she just went to party. Even Fluttershy, who shared a similar timidity to mine, had managed to find her own place in the castle gardens, among more than just a few animals that lived there.
As for me, I mostly stayed... Where no one else did. Were I at the punch bowl, I would quickly move off to the corner the moment somepony came for a drink. Had the corner suddenly become the more recent hot spot, I would leave for the next room. And had the next room become popular, I'd head back to the punch bowl, which, by then, had been cleared.
It was a cycle, to say the least, yet each time I made my way from one position to the other, I would ultimately attract the unwanted gaze of the other ponies.
Granted, it may have just been because I wasn't exactly the least noticeable person here, being the only human and all, but that didn't particularly help me feel any better. In fact, I'm pretty sure it made me feel worse.
Either way, it didn't really end up mattering wether I had made up a cycle of relative seclusion or otherwise. All it came down to was one voice. The sound of one pony as she called over the clamor of everypony else.
"Oh, the Princess! There she is!" With that, I felt my heart leap to over a hundred beats per second as several of the gala members suddenly began to crowd towards one direction in a large wave. That direction, unfortunately, led past me.
Before I knew it, I was pushing my way through an almost impossibly large sea of ponies, my breathing feeling shallow as the several colors of their fur and manes came in a sort of stampede.
It took all of my will to hold back a yell, and even more of my strength just to make my way through the horde of ponies, each excited to see one of their monarchs, and current party hosts.
Within this crowd, I could barely catch my previously favored spots of the gala, now heavily overpopulated by others. My breath caught at this, and, in a panic, I sprinted for the nearest way outside.
A pair of double doors, decorative and glossy, was what I had managed to find, leading to an empty low balcony. It wasn't exactly a wide expanse, but it would have to do.
With nothing more on my mind than simply erasing the memory of the proximity between all of those ponies and I, I leaned myself forward onto the marble balcony railing, panting and in a cold sweat--wether it was from the stuffiness of the suit, which was further implied as I tugged on its collar, or the simple anxiety of what had occurred, I could not tell.
I asked myself, why couldn't I have just stayed home? Why did I have to agree to come here? Twilight had said this would help me, but I don't see how. And, if this was me now... How would I react when I met the princesses?
Even now, I could feel one of the two's presences in the next room over, practically judging me already, despite not having seen me yet. In fact, it felt as though she had already seen me, and just was waiting for the chance to... To... I don't even know!
"Calm down." I willed to myself, gripping onto the marble frame I rested on. "You just have to get through tonight! Maybe, if you stay out here long enough, everypony will forget about y-"
"Hello." All at once, I froze up, breath and all, as I heard a voice behind me. I... I hadn't even heard the pony come up behind me, but now, I knew that it was there. "Enjoying the view?" It, or rather she, asked.
I mentally prayed that it would've been Twilight, or one of the other mares with her--anyone I could at least recognize! But, no, that voice didn't match with any of theirs. As far as I knew, it was another party-goer, likely having come out for some air. Of all the odds, and all the doors...
"... Excuse me?" I couldn't speak. The entirety of my throat felt as though it had closed up, just enough to keep me from saying a word. In fact, as shameful as it may sound, I-I started to tremble.
"Calm down! Calm down! Please calm down!" I told myself, involuntarily gulping.
My mind was in a frenzy--even more so than it had been since the night had begun. Maybe it was because I was finally starting to snap underneath all the pressure; that encounter with the mob of ponies that had only minutes ago flooded around me likely had a good part to do with it too. But, for this to show now? To a single random mare? Just... I feel as though the word pathetic couldn't even begin to describe it...
As if to only further this thought, the mare seemed to have taken notice of my growing list of odd and worrisome features, speaking up once more. "Is everything alright?" I'd give her this, I had honestly expected her to have given a negative comment on my current condition, or something of the like, yet she had instead chosen to voice her concern.
Still, caution remained by my side, as it always had over the years. One of few things that had never--would never let me down.
Through the small opening that could barely be identified as my larynx anymore, I managed to utter my first response to her, if only in an attempt to involuntarily quicken the time before she would ultimately leave me to my timidity's caring hold.
"F-f-fine..." My voice was like a whisper, hoarse in nature, and practically drowned out by even the passing breeze, but still it somehow managed to reach her ears. Or, at least, I would assume so, considering she then responded.
"Are you sure? You look awfully pale. Perhaps you should head back inside, or-"
"NO!" I suddenly exclaimed, surprising even myself with how loud of an outburst that had been. I was already just about ready to have a panic attack out here, with only one other pony near me. If I were to go back inside now, I would break down for sure! And if either of the princesses saw me then-... then...
I managed a deep stuttering breath, the cool night air feeling like nothing but pure bliss to my silenlty screaming lungs and throat. "N-no..." I told the mare more quietly, silently hoping I hadn't frightened her too much with my previous answer. "I-I'm fine out here, by m-myself. R-really."
"..." How was it that this silence was more stressful to me than when the mare had been talking? Had she already gone, or was she simply wondering to herself if I was worth her time? I wanted to glance behind me to check, but, at the same time, I was too scared to do so.
Time passed--in intervals of minutes, or seconds, I didn't know--before, finally, I heard another sound. An oddly brightening, soft, and chiming sound. A... A giggle?
"Not one for crowds are you?"
H-how did? This honestly shocked me, that she was able to figure this out so easily, without even making eye contact with me... and yet, should it really have? I wasn't exactly showing signs of being as stalward as a statue, or anything of that sort, so I guess it wouldn't really take long for anypony to put two and two together.
"...I-is it that obvious?" My voice had become a whisper again, as I tensed my shoulders to be as high as I could possibly lift them and tucked my head towards my chest. I wanted to disappear, but this was the best I could do for now.
She was silent once more, but I could barely overhear the sounds of a faint shimmer, followed by the closing of the balcony doors, muffling the sounds of the crowd that were just inside. The amount of times my heart threatened to stop when I heard the seemingly booming sound of the doors closing, when truthfully it was just a soft click, had been immeasurable. This mare had effectively trapped me with her, while also sealing me away from the others. I was both grateful, and terrified.
"... It's lovely, isn't it?" She suddenly asked, very nearly causing me to jump out of my skin.
"H-huh?'
"The skies tonight. They look quite nice." Truthfully, I had not even taken notice of that. I was more focused on my breathing, thoughts, and, well, just everything else about the situation in general. But, as she pointed this out, her voice seeming so calming and... nice, I found my gaze focusing on this one aspect.
The stars shone as though they were diamonds upon a shroud of black, with only a single rounded entity, the moon, holding any difference they all collectively brought a soft glow to this cloudless night.
"...Y-yeah... It looks nice." I found my breath slowly returning to a more regular state, and the stiffness in my shoulders just as slowly passing.
"Luna has shown much more care with her work tonight. And to think, she had seemed to worried earlier today, fretting about wether or not everypony would find it appealing." It was that that had made me freeze again, as I slowly relayed her words over and over again in my mind.
"Y-you know one of the Princesses?" I asked, both in surprise and curiosity. After all, she had said the very name of one the princesses just then, hadn't she? And, even if that wasn't really a very impressive feat in of itself, how else would she have known wether or not she was stressed this morning about the gala? That was far too personal to be something of public knowledge, I was sure. Yet, curiously enough, there was that bell-like giggle again.
"I suppose you could say that. Yes." Strange as it is, this knowledge actually didn't come across as something worrisome for me. In fact, it was actually a slight relief,
"So... I-It's safe to assume that you know the other princess as w-well?" I questioned, still not daring to turn around; not daring to face her, lest I lose what little nerve I held. For a third time, a bell sounded.
"Yes. It is." This was a brilliant opportunity, honestly. If she really knew the princesses, then, this might be my chance to put a good first impression in on them... But, would that seem selfish? I hadn't even looked this mare in the face, for goodness sake, yet here I was, pondering if I could use her acquaintance with the princesses to my advantage. She wouldn't just do that for someone she had just met, would she?
Honestly, would this even qualify as really meeting me?
"... I-if you don't mind then, c-could you do me a favor?" Already I regretted saying that, silently beating myself up over and over for merely even allowing the idea to come to mind. Still, I had gotten this far, hadn't I?
"Hm?" She hummed questioningly, as I took another empty swallow.
"Y-you see... I-I have to meet the p-princesses today..." My timidity, alongside whatever little of my internal defenses had begun to budge were returning full force, either because of what I was to ask, or simply the act of asking it. "A-and... W-well... C-could you..."
Though I tried my best to choke out those words, to just end the situation, I found myself mentally tripping--stalling like a car that's battery was shot and near breaking point. Thankfully, I didn't have to finish my request... She had apparently pieced it together herself.
"You want me to put in a good word. Right?" She had finished. As she did so, I did my best to read her tone, checking for any possible malice or negativity whatsoever. There was none, as far as I could tell, but for all I knew, she may have been rolling her eyes.
"...Y-yes. Y-you don't have to do it, a-and I'd understand if you didn't-"
"Alright." I essentially choked on my own words at this, truthfully not having expected her to agree, let alone so easily.
"Y-you will?!?" I asked, gaining a hummed 'mm-hm' in return.
"Of course. I don't really see any reason not too."
"B-but you also don't have any reasons to do this." I reminded her, unconsciously taking note of how I had spoken as I did so. I hadn't even noticed this difference until just then, but, my voice was louder, more casual. As to when I had started to speak like this, I was unaware, but...
"True, I also don't have to." She affirmed. "But I still have no problem with doing so."
... I would never understand ponies. They were far different than people from my world, where, if it wasn't somehow to their short or long-term benefit, they wouldn't really do anything for someone else, while here... I had to remember, this wasn't my home. These weren't my people.
And, as for this mare; she was promising quite a bit to someone she had just happened upon in an attempt to get some air. I didn't even know if she would really do what she was saying she would, but, to an extent, it was simply the thought that allowed the weight on my chest to slightly lighten itself.
I had to do something. Anything. At the very least... Turn around and thank her...
It was another deep shuddering breath and hollow gulp before I could even work up half the nerve I needed, and by the time I turned myself around...
"Thank y-" She wasn't there. The door to the balcony was slightly ajar, allowing a small amount of the unfiltered festive air and noise from the gala to escape, and giving me a simple guess as to what had occurred. She had gone back inside, and that was that.
Wether she did as she had said or not, I couldn't help but to actually sigh from her leaving. It hadn't really been often that I wanted someone's company, and now, she was gone... And I had been stupid enough to not even get a look at her face, let alone her name.
Of course, the rest of the night had been ahead of me, as time was so insistent on showing.
Sooner or later, I made my way inside, breathing in any last remainders of cold quiet and breeze-like solitude that I could in doing so.
Most of the ponies, thankfully, were still in the other room, likely swarming one of their princesses with questions and attention, allowing me even more time to compose myself.
Still, it was not long before this moment of relatively uncrowded peace was abruptly ended, though this time by a face I had seen and recognized.
"Oh, Rick, there you are!" Twilight had yelled, easily getting my attention with a start. Turning in her direction I caught sight of her, still in that dress that she had put on for the night. Admittedly, the idea of these ponies suddenly caring for clothes had initially come across as strange for me, but I didn't speak on this. As if I could.
I was wary as Twilight approached, glancing around for any other pony that may be around before, once feeling comparatively satisfied, I silently met her halfway with a few small steps.
"H-hi Twilight." My voice had returned to its usual state, quiet and restrained as I spoke to her. Not like it had been with that mare.
She gleamed as I greeted her, making her way in front of me as she asked how everything was. Questions such as, 'was I enjoying myself', and, 'have you managed to make any new friends' were met with simple and unspecific answers, like 'fine', or just silence.
"Well, anyways, I have good news!" She then suddenly said once her questions were over, an excited shine in her eye. It was a shine that just worried me though, raising a brow in careful curiosity.
"G-good news?" I asked. She responded with a series of excited nods.
"Yeah! Well, kinda. You see, I finally found the princesses tonight." And like that, my heart rate spiked. "...But then, I lost them."
And it was calm again.
"Then after that I saw them again."
Up again.
"But then there was this really big crowd that just-"
"T-twilight," I silently halted, thankfully seeming to stop her before she would ultimately decimate my blood pressure, "c-can you just...?"
I gave a vague gesture near the end, hoping that she would understand that I wanted her to reach her point. She seemed to understand, a light blush of embarrassment appearing on her face as she gave a nervous chuckle.
"Heh. Right, sorry." She apologized. "Anyways, I managed to get Princess Celestia alone while Luna deals with the crowd." I glanced over to the large crowd of ponies at this.
"... And they were f-fine with this? The princesses, I-I mean." Twilight just smiled.
"Of course they were! They agreed to meet you one at a time, if need be, and Luna volunteered to deal with everypony else first."
Just the fact that they were willing to split their attention between all of these ponies and I made me even more nervous than before. If I didn't measure up now, I'd essentially be wasting their valuable time.
I wanted to voice this, I desperately did, but, before I knew it, Twilight was already dragging me along with her, the odd tingle of her magic on my hand as she moved me with her seeming like nothing compared to that of my panicking nerves.
Soon enough, the scenery around me had changed, all with the passing through a large pair of doors, manned by two armor-wearing astute guards, who did little more than glance at me as Twilight and I entered the room.
Just like that, no longer was I in a large and uproarious room, connected to others that made up the expansive Grand Galloping Gala.
Instead, I was in a much smaller room, away from the other ponies. It was odd in that I couldn't even tell what the purpose of the room was, but it held similar features to much of the rest of the castle as far as I'd seen so far; Lavish and comfortable.
The room was surrounded by carefully placed bookshelves lined up neatly along the walls, with what looked like a fireplace built into the wall opposite of the entrance. In the middle of the room there sat a large circular rug, sharing symbols of both the moon and sun while seeming overall inviting. However, what really drew my attention to this feature wasn't really the idea of decor that was given towards it, or any of the room itself. Rather, my attention was focused on the larger than usual being that sat atop it, her back turned to us as she seemed to sit and wait patiently, a book floating before her and open with a slight golden shine--magic, I had guessed--surrounding it.
"Princess Celestia," Twilight said, much to my chagrin, "I brought him here to see you."
In response, the princess said and did nothing more than close her book, simply sitting there as her mane seemed to almost ethereally flow and her large, gracefully plumed wings ever so lightly adjusted themselves.
Despite this silence, only interrupted by the sound of the book floating towards and being set into a nearby bookshelf, and the cold sweat I was beginning to feel head down the back of my neck, Twilight did not at all seemed bothered, a broad smile still on her face as she gave me a soft nudge towards the monarch.
"Go on, introduce yourself." She whispered.
This was an act easier said than done though, especially for me.
It was like every single thing about her was meant to intimidate me: the crown and golden ornaments; the culmination of pony features, such as a horn and wings; and simply her size.
I wasn't particularly small, mind you, but she still managed to tower over me in comparison to the other, relatively chest high ponies I had met.
And worse still, despite not seeing her face, there was just something about her: regal, frightening, and yet... beautiful?
Was it wrong for me to use that word to describe her? I mean, she was a pony, and... I was getting too caught up in my thoughts, I realized that.
Moving away from that mental subject, I took notice of the fact that I had been staring in silence, rather than doing as Twilight had asked. Would the princess be upset about the delay? If so, then what would she do?
I decided that, if only because of how long I had already taken just to tell her my name and say 'hello', I would do my best to do so as quickly as I possibly could now.
With a loud gulp, I managed to open my mouth and utter out a few words. "H-h-hello, y-your m-m-majesty. M-my n-n-name is Ri-Rick. I-it's an h-honor to gre- Er, m-meet you." I had said before finally bowing, mentally kicking myself for several reasons as I did so; the increased amount of stutters, the slip of the tongue I had made, and how I must have sounded altogether. Even the length of how long I was bowing was all wrong, though it wasn't voluntary. Rather, it had seemed that every muscle in my body had stiffened up at the thought of what may occur as a result of my mistakes, and what the princess currently thought of me.
Before these mental images could begin to fester, however, from my bowed position, I took note of the fact that her neck had still not turned, allowing me to guess that she was still facing away from me.
I knew it. I had done something wrong, I had to have. I knew this would happen the entire night, yet now I couldn't even pretend to run or hide away from it all. Now I was in the same room as one of the two that I had been so scared to meet, and if I tried to leave now, I would likely only worsen her opinion on me. Why didn't I stay home? Why didn't I stay home? Why didn't I stay ho-
"Rick, is it?" My eyes widened and, within a second, I felt myself shoot straight back up as the princess finally spoke. "Well, its nice to finally be formally introduced to you... Though, we should likely stop meeting like this.
My mind was blank.
Through my peripherals, I could see Twilight seem to raise a brow, though I was currently more focused on the Princess. "Oh, you two know each other? That's great... right?" The white alicorn gave out a giggle as Twilight said this. One that was... Bell-like...
"Yes, my faithful student, it is. And besides," Celestia added, only now finally turning her head to face me, exposing her brilliant purple eyes and warm smile, "I've had quite the good word given to me about him."
She... She winked...
And that voice... It was the same voice from before...
Author's Note
Well this was longer than usual, wasn't it?
... Meh.
Next Chapter