Deprivation

"Alright sir, since we ran that card as credit the remaining balance will go back on your card."

"But I wanted the cash back! I told you to run it as debit."

"Well, I'm sorry sir, I was sure you had asked me to run it credit, and you did sign a receipt sir, not enter a pin."

"Fine, I'll just grab some gum and do cash back."

"Err... Sorry but the only time I can actually give you cash back is with a fuel purchase. It's company policy."

"I don't give a shit about policy! I've been fueling up here for years now, you should make an exception."

"I'm sorry but I can't. I can offer you our A.T.M. though—"

"Whatever prick, I'm going to a different store. God job losing a customer, jerk."

And with that the man walked out the store and drove off, peeling out as he went. Luckily the store was now empty, save for Dan and his manager, Jill, so he took that time to smack his head against the counter, the smile that graced his face just minutes before completely replaced by repulsion. He turned to Jill looking for words of encouragement, only to get indifference.

"Nice work Dan, think you can do that when Daryl's comes in? I'd love to lose all our best customers today."

"Oh come on! Jill, it's not like that guy has been in here daily since the store was created. I can't even remember seeing him before!"

Jill scoffed, "that's not the point and you know it. It doesn't matter how much of an asshole the person is, you should always do what they say."

"But it's policy! You've written me up twice for not following policy, why now is it not such a big deal?"

"I wrote you up those times because you had twenties in your drawer. You know we have to drop them in the safe as soon as we get them, whether or not we needed fives and tens. And it wouldn't have been a big deal to just charge a pump then refund it to give him money."

Dan laughed mirthlessly. "No way in Hell, Jill. I may hate this bloody place, but I'm not getting fired because some pencil pusher in Davenport spots that transaction and reports it."

"All the same, I am going to have to write you up. Unfortunately this is strike two for this month, so I'll have to give you a week suspension too." Jill pushed away the paperwork in front of her and walked to the back office, hollering behind her, "It'll be wrote up and on my desk before you leave."

A wave of calm rage flowed over Dan as he watched her walk away. He walked into the back room, his fists clenched. Slowly he closed his eyes and began his litany he spoke whenever he got that mad.

"I am calm, I am cool. Just let it pass. I am calm, I am cool. Just let it pass. I am calm, I am cool... oh fuck it all!"

Picking up the nearest box in the room, he flung it out the door and onto the sales floor. The moment it hit, a jarring crash came from within, and Dan's heart sank as he realized he had just thrown the box of coffee pots the store had been needing for nearly a month. The box broke open and millions of sparkling shards dance around the floor, settling at the feet the recently returned Jill.

"Oh... fuck it all!"

——————————————————————————————————

The door slammed behind Dan as he walked into his house. He threw his coat and keys on the floor and walked to his handy "to do" chalkboard. On it he kept notes on how to better organize his life each week. Dan picked up the worn piece of chalk and scratched out everything on it:

GET MATCHES FOR STORE - FRIDAY

GET BETTER THERMOMETER FOR STORE - FRIDAY

HELP JILL REORGANIZE STOCK ROOM - SATURDAY

PURCHASE NEW UNIFORM - MONDAY

He sighed in defeat and scribbled a new note, dropping the chalk as he walked away.

GO TO UNEMPLOYMENT OFFICE

He plopped into his favorite recliner and flipped on his T.V. to the only station. Seinfeld again, great. he thought to himself. Luckily, Dan was a man of few needs for entertainment. Clicking open the small wooden box next to his chair, he pulled out a small baggie and a pack of rolling papers before adjusting himself in his chair, readying himself for eight uninterrupted hours of mind-numbing lethargy. As soon as he sprinkled his broken up herb on a paper, however, a resounding knock came from his door, shaking Dan and his grass all over the place.

"Sonofa..." he mumbled, shaking his shirt off and walking to the door. Knowing his neighborhood, he grabbed his revolver from the cabinet drawer next to the door. Tucking it in his waistband, he put his ear to the door and asked, "Who is it?"

"It's me, open the door," came a familiar voice. Dan stuck the firearm back in its spot and opened the door, his brother standing there with his usual dopey grin. "Heya butt-lick. Got any weed?"

Dan rolled his eyes and moved out of the way for his kin. "Yeah, I always got some. Doesn't mean you get to smoke any, Craig."

Craig strolled in and sat right down in Dan's chair. "Oh, come on! Can't spare a joint for your favorite brother?"

Dan walked behind him and flipped the chair, his brother yelping as he sprawled out on the floor. "While I can spare one, I won't," he chuckled as he sat down in his rightful throne. "I have to save enough for a party with my... coworkers..."

Even picking himself off the floor, Craig noticed Dan trailing off, and could see the troubled look on his brothers face. "Hey, what's up big bro? Something happen today?"

After a moment of quiet contemplation, Dan started as if he had only just noticed Craig in his apartment, then sighed as he stared out the window. "I uh, got fired today."

"What?! Did that crazy bitch try writing you up again?"

"She did write me up. And I may hove gotten pissed... and thrown a giant box of glass coffee pots..."

"Shit. Well, so much for tryin' to get in Jill's pants, eh?"

"Oh, for fuck's sake, Craig!" Dan yelled as he jumped from his chair. "This is why I don't talk to you about this shit. I can't get a straight answer from you, ever! This is fucking serious, Craig! I have to clean out my system first of all. I've been so stressed from work I've been smoking like, eight joints a day, and almost all jobs piss-test now! Then I have to get more feed for the charity ranch, otherwise the horses won't have the food they need. That's not to mention I need enough gas to drive to the shelter this Friday and Saturday—"

"Brother! Brother, please, calm down, it'll be okay." Craig put his hand on Dan's shoulder. "Don't worry about a thing. It's not much, but we need a new dishwasher at the bakery. It'll it least get you through to another job, and my boss won't test you. Hell, he smokes too. Now as far as money goes, I'll spot you a couple hundred bucks, that way you can feed your welfare horses and get to the soup kitchen and not worry about feeding yourself. Pay me when you can, okay?"

"Please don't call them that, it's not their fault they're not wanted. It's not like you care anyway." But Dan looked up into his brother's eyes and saw a compassion he rarely saw. Craig didn't really care for much, but Dan knew he at least cared for his family. "T-thanks Craig. I really appreciate it. I'm sorry for snapping."

"Hey what are brothers for, huh? Besides, it just sounds like you are so wrecked man! You need to get out, get some R&R. C'mon, I was just heading out to the uh, 'spa.'"

"Uhh..." Dan was a little off put. Craig's idea of a "spa" usually meant a cheap masseuse with a happy ending. And the fact that he actually, physically, made quotes with his fingers when he said spa made the idea all the more alarming to Dan. "Craig, you know how I feel about those places. Those girls are creepy, and the place usually smells like nursing home."

Craig waved it off. "No, no, Dan. This is a nice relaxation place. The guy is cool with people smoking, and usually has something to sell himself. It's out in the woods, no city pollution, giant hot tubs and saunas. You name it, they got it. Plus, I have an idea to help you relax."

"Well, that doesn't sound too bad, I guess," Dan mumbled, mulling it over. "What's your idea to help me relax?"

"I've been reading up on ways to... well, you'll see. Let's just say it's something to try, and this guy's got it."

"I'm not doing peyote anymore, Craig. Not really into the whole, y'know, puking and dying of dehydration, eh?"

"Oh c'mon! That was one time! You had fun the other time, right? Besides, no drugs. Well, some drugs. But not those drugs."

Dan looked around his apartment, trying to find anything to keep him from his brother's "adventure." Unfortunately for the minimum wage paid stoner, his sparse apartment gave no help. And "playing video games and getting high" was not a good excuse. Especially when that was probably what they were going to do anyway.

Dan sighed and started gathering his things. "Fine. Let's do this, then."

Craig clapped his hands together like a little schoolgirl. "Oh yeah, grab your coat, brother, we're taking a trip."

"Okay. To where, though?"

Dan's eyes crossed as Craig put his finger to his brother's forehead. "We're taking a trip... into your mind!"

——————————————————————————————————

Dan's head gently bumped against the window of the car. They had been driving for an hour and it was almost dusk. He had fallen asleep twice listening to Craig's awful celtic-latin dubstep fusion and was well on his way to passing out for the night when a hand shook him awake.

"We're here!"

Dan looked up and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. Looking around, he could see they had traveled a great distance, the buildings and cars of Milwaukee replaced with trees and long, snow-covered fields. "Jeez, Craig," he said as he saw a cow go by. "I hope he has rooms for rent. I don't want to drive this far after getting really stoned."

"Yeah, he has rooms that come with the fee. Hostel style, but oh well. Besides, this guy's pretty cool. Oh, here it is."

Turning off the road onto a dirt path, a pair of large barns loomed in the distance, the lowering sun shining off the newer-looking tin roof, and small house nestled off to the side. A group of people were gather in front of one, a small fire pit blazing and beers being passed around. Dan smiled as he nodded to himself.

"Hey, this looks pretty nice. This is a spa?"

"Well... think of it more like, 'rustic accommodations with recreational activities.' Just you wait, the best parts are inside."

They pulled up and parked next to an old Volkswagen Micro-bus and what looked like an Amish-style horse and buggy, the attached horse lazily chewing on some grain. Dan got out and gave a friendly rub on the horse's nose. Craig hopped out and started walking over to the group of people. Dan caught up and immediately started having second thoughts, once he saw the people hanging out at the fire.

The people could only be described as living in the 1960s and never leaving it. With the exception to the all nude old lady dancing behind the group, they were all dressed in a stereotypical "flower child" outfit. Hemp clothing, flowers, sandals, and tie dye shirts abounding. Dan knew his brother all too well, and knowing his extracurricular activities means knowing about his penchant for hallucinogens.

"Whoa, Craig," he whispered in his ear. "You know I said I didn't want to get like that. So not in the mood for it."

"Don't worry, I know that. I'd never do something like that to you. You don't have to do anything you don't want to."

Dan's brow furrowed. "Then what did you mean by 'trip into my mind?'"

Craig's mischievous grin grew wider. "You'll see."

They reached the group, waving as they approached, and received a friendly smile and an extended hand from an ancient looking beard and a worn face that would make Gandalf proud. "Well look who it is, if it isn't the little mockingbird!"

"Hiya Chance, how ya been?" Craig said and he took the hand, shaking it gently. "How's business?"

"Oh well, both myself and the farm are fine. Had the fuckin' DEA poundin' on my door again but they got nothing, which means they got no warrant. Speaking of which, who is this?" he said while pointing at Dan. "You know how I am about bringing friends, I need notice."

"It's okay Chance, it's my brother. You did say I could bring him anytime, right?"

Chances eyes widened and he immediately snatched Dan's hand up and shook it vigorously. "Son, your brother has told me all about your charity work, especially out at the Flourishing Meadows Horse Sanctuary. Anyone who cares for needing animals is good in my book."

Dan smiled and shook the hand a little more warmly. "It's all my pleasure, sir. They need help, and I usually have more than enough for myself, so why not give it to those in need?"

"But what about people?" One of the other spoke up. "Don't they need it more than animals?"

"Shut up, Danny," Chance snapped. "This man is one of the good ones. Craig said you also volunteer at a homeless kitchen, or something?"

"Y-yeah, we make meals then drive to hand them out when we get a call from someone who needs it." A blush creeped onto his face. Being admired for his work was always embarrassing to Dan. Especially from strangers.

"See? A man who cares for all. A rarity nowadays. Please, accept a free visit from me tonight."

"Well, thank you, very much. But uh, I'm not really sure what to do here. Craig didn't tell me much."

"Hell, we've got it all!" Chance swept his arm across the view of his property. "Care to sweat out your troubles in the sauna? Take a dip in the lake or hot tub? Get a massage?"

"Actually, Chance, Dan's not really into all that. I kinda wanted to show him the chamber tonight."

Chance raised an eyebrow as his smile slowly dropped. "Now Craig, you know that's not something for the unprepared. It can be intense."

"Wait, what's the chamber?" Dan asked, his curiosity peaked.

"It's okay, Chance, Dan can take it. Whenever he and I were cactus heads, he was usually the one to guide us through. He can keep his head on straight in there."

"But, what is it?" Dan's voice hinted some urgency. I can "take it?" What the Hell is this chamber if being right minded on mescaline is a prerequisite?

Chance sighed and nodded his head. "Alright, you do know him best." He turned and looked Dan right in the eyes. "'The Chamber' is exactly how it sounds. Its official name is a 'sensory deprivation chamber.' It's a soundproof container, filled with salt-heavy water, and no light. It will make it to where you are exposed to absolutely no sensory input at all. No sound, no light, the water is around body temp and the magnesium in the salt makes you more buoyant as it were, so it feels like you're floating in nothingness."

Craig jumped in, drawing Dan's transfixed eyes to him. "Most people, including all of us here, use the chamber to relax, but at the same time, with no noise or light or anything, your mind can take over for what you experience. You can see things, hear things, smell, taste, touch things. It just takes a clear mind."

Dan just stood there, looking between the two men. He had never heard such an... improbable concept. But he thought, improbable isn't impossible. Why the Hell not.

"Well, okay. I'll give it a shot. I'm so tired of the sounds of the city I think some complete silence will do me good."

"Alright then, follow me." Chance turned around and headed not into the barns, but towards the back of the house. The brothers followed him, Dan with a bit more trepidation then Craig. Around the house sat a simple box. It looked much like a very long dog house with a door, but the entire bottom section was fiberglass, mainly for the water, Dan guessed. "Okay, Dan. Head behind that curtain hanging there and change. You can wear those swim shorts there or you can go nude, just no pissing in the water, okay?"

Dan nodded and went behind the curtain. He decided against the grimy looking shorts and just wrapped a towel around himself. He took a moment to relieve himself on a tree nearby before walking back to the two men. "All set."

Chance chuckled. "Sure you are." He opened the little door on the chamber and waved a hand at it. "Go on in, we'll leave you to it. I've set a timer and it'll go off in an hour. Don't stay in too long, but do wait for the timer. Your sense of time will be off in there, and you may as well get a full hour, even though twenty minutes can feel like three hours. Good luck." He clapped Craig on the back and walked him back to the fire, leaving Dan by himself. The sun was almost under the horizon and it was quickly becoming hard to see, so Dan threw the towel off and climbed in the little door.

The water was warm and only came up just past his elbow, but he could see what they meant about the buoyancy, since it was hard to put the arm under without the water forcing it back up. He flipped around on his back and let the water settle down, slightly bobbing up and down. He closed his eyes and sighed contentedly, as all sound was cut off as the door closed behind him. Not even the crickets or birds in the field could be heard, only the soft thumping of Dan's heart and quiet sloshing of the water as he moved or adjusted.

It was the perfect amount of calm and Dan felt the stress be drawn from him. He was itchy but he figured it was just the salty water. His tense muscles relaxed and he smiled, slightly chiding himself for doubting his brother. Thinking of his brother, he thought about what he had said. Some people hear things, see things, touch things. I gotta see if I can do it too. he thought.

Dan cleared his mind for a moment, before beginning to hum his favorite symphony piece by Basil Poledouris from "The Hunt for Red October." He harmonized with the choir in his head, half humming, half fake singing the Russian lyrics. He almost stopped, wondering if the box was sound proof both ways, before remembering to keep his head clear. He stopped humming, and just played the song in his head. The choir crescendoed and decrescendoed, the horns blaring and the symbols crashing before coming to an end with the choir softly holding the last note.

The music ceased in Dan's head, and he sat there in quiet peace, feeling slightly disappointed but all the same elated at his simple enjoyment of music could seems so vivid in his mind. He sighed and tried adjusting a little more, wondering how long he had already been in there. But his adjustment didn't work. He still felt a slight pressure on his back and behind. He put his hands down to push off the bottom of the tank, but his hands met something hard instead of water. It was still dark, so he couldn't see what he hit. But it didn't feel like the plastic lining of the chamber.

As if off in the distance, a small light caught his eye. There in the abyss, was a low, red light. It trailed off out of his vision, but was soon replaced by another, this time a soft green. Then others. Soon his vision was swimming with lights. His eyes burned but he couldn't close his eyes, worry that if he did they would leave for good. The lights quickly coalesced into small, simple shapes, a circle here, a jagged pentagon there. They shifted and melded into a blinding mass of colors. It almost hurt, and finally he closed his eyes.

The colors disappeared but it didn't last, as his eyes sprang open again at the return of the music. his eyes focused, but instead of being met by the abysmal dark, golden and red light streamed in, yet it didn't hurt his eyes. He was in a concert hall, finely decorated with golden pillars and crimson velvet hangings. The place was filled with thousands of finely dressed people. Tuxedos, top hats, and flowing gowns filled the seats while a hundred or so musicians sat on stage, instruments humming out their epic melody. He gazed around in wonder at the sight before him, until he realized someone was looking at him. A lithe framed woman sat next to him, wearing a sparkling black dress and with the most dazzling blue hair no dye could match. She looked at him with her soft eyes and a kind smile before asking, "That was a beautiful piece of music. Won't you stay for one more?"

BEEP BEEP BEEP. BEEP BEEP BEEP.

The light faded and sounds of happy concert-goers trailed off. The woman was the last to go, but not before her smile turned to slight disappointment. The feeling of water came back and an annoying sound filled the chamber. Dan maneuvered over to open the door, reaching out and shutting off the alarm. He climbed out to the cool night air and shook himself dry. He was on autopilot at that point, too engrossed by what he had just witnessed to notice the cold or the people laughing and cheering from within the barn.

He threw on his clothes and walked to the empty barn. Peering in, he saw rows of cot style beds and figured this was where the guest slept. Only taking his shoes back off, he climbed into an unreserved bed and passed out. But not before thinking, I need one of those.