Six Idiots

Well, it seems you readers are stuck with me. Hi everyone, I'm the narrator, Narrator. You can call me Mr. Narrator, Allmighty-Allknowing-Majesty, or just Your Majesty. Thank you, and let's begin.

     Our story takes place at about the same time the Elements of Harmony are being used against Discord for the second time, leaving him stuck in that dreadful rock prison. Now, seeing as this is an Alternate Universe fic, that is not the case here. This takes place at a very small bar, but no less classy than the rest, on the outskirts of Ponyville. Three friends, all Pegasi, were waiting outside said bar, impatiently waiting for their other friends to arrive.

     One was a medium shade of brown, dark green eyes, and a black and white mane, resembling a skunk in my opinion. She had a Spade, like the card, as a cutie mark, and her name was... well... Spade.

     The next was scarlet red, with mismatched red and green eyes. His mane was a combination of red and white, with red on he inside and white outlining. His cutie mark was a pair of headphones with some zigzag line that looks like a heartbeat monitor but is really a spectrum wave. His name was Hurricane.

     The last pony was white, with a black and blue striped mohawk mane, much in the style of Zecora. He was probably one of the most built of the whole group of friends. His cutie mark was a crosshair, and his name was Sarcasm.

"Holy shit," Hurricane said. "Where's Ethelind? She's never late."

"Prob'ly got held up in some sciencey crap," said Sarcasm, raking a drink from the flask he carried everywhere.

"Dude," Spade started. "You can't get drunk before we even get into the damn bar. That's not fair to the rest of us."

     This got a chuckle from Sarcasm. He burped loudly. "Don't care."

"Well then, gimme some of that!" said Hurricane, reaching for the flask. Sarcasm handed it to him. Hurricane took a quick swig and grinned. "Vodka?"

"Vodka with a bit of hard cider, yeah."

"Yes!" Hurricane took a longer drink.

     When they heard the sound of a Unicorn teleport behind them, Hurricane instantly gave Sarcasm the flask back. Spade saw this as a sign of weakness.

"Hey Ethelind, guess what?" she called to the white unicorn.

"What do you want, Spade? I know i'm a minute and forty-six seconds late, no need to rub it in."

"Oh. Well damn, Ethelind. Way to be a buzzkill." Spade rolled her eyes.

     Ethelind turned her blue eyes toward Hurricane and Sarcasm, who were both looking on with similar expressions. She pushed her short blond mane out of her eyes and scowled through her glasses. "What're you two looking at?"

     Hurricane turned pink and looked down. Ethelind didn't notice. "Nothin'."

     Sarcasm looked on, his expression changing from one of confusion to an unimpressed one. He belched again. "Your mom. Got a problem?"

     Spade snickered.

     Ethelind raised an eyebrow. "My mother isn't here currently, and i'm not sure if she would even like me being in the same vicinity as you guys. Sometimes, i'm not sure if I want to be here."

"Same here," a gruff voice behind them said. The most built of the group, yet one of the shortest, walked up behind Ethelind.

     Blaze was in his usual style, a brown dyed fur and a slicked back black dyed mane. He wore a scowl, and he had his usual "anger management" toothpick in his mouth.

     Hurricane looked up from his downward gaze toward Blaze. "'Sup, Blaze."

"Hi, Hurricane."

     A mock falsetto voice piped up from behind Hurricane. "Yeah, hi, Hurricane!"

     Hurricane jumped up around the pony equivalent of five feet and hovered in the air, panting hard. "Dammit, Trock, you know I hate that shit! Fuck, you nearly gave me a heart attack!"

"Nice one, Trock," said Sarcasm.

     Ethelind rolled her eyes and turned toward the bar door. "Now that we're all here, we can enter the bar and get this 'get together' or whatever you called it over with." With that, she and the rest, excluding Hurricane, trotted into the bar. Hurricane lingered back for a monent.

"These ponies are seriously weird. But what am I complaining about? I'm insane!" He glided down from his spot in the air and sauntered into the bar.