Six Idiots

     The six ponies sat down at the table in the far back of the bar. Hurricane had caught up with his friends and was grinning. They sat in left to right order of; Blaze, Trock, Ethelind, Hurricane, Sarcasm, and Spade. They all sat there, looking like complete idiots and a sophisticated pony. This sophisticated pony was obviously Ethelind, who was looking very uncomfortable between Trock and Hurricane.

"-- the hell were you thinking," Sarcasm was saying to Hurricane. "You know that if you try and step up to my MLGness you will get schooled, dipshit."

     Hurricane rolled his eyes. "Says you. You get angry over rage games quicker than Blaze when you talk about his height."

     Blaze stood up. "What did you say about my height, Hurricane?"

     The whole bar got quiet. Even Vinyl Scratch, who was at the DJ booth, stopped her mix and looked on.

     Hurricane took off into the air and landed next to Blaze. "Hit me. You know i'll like it."

     Spade grinned. "Do it, Blaze. Watch him CUM."

"Fuckin' sick," Sarcasm said at the other side of the table.

     Trock slowly got out of the booth and went to the side of the two stallions. "Gentlemen, I want a nice clean-" Blaze pushed him back onto the seat.

     Hurricane grinned wider, looking down to Blaze. "Do it, man. I dare you."

     Blaze sat down. "I won't give you the satisfaction."

"Didn't think so." Hurricane flew back to his seat next to Ethelind and Sarcasm. DJPON3 returned to her mix.                                                                      Spade stood up and went to get some drinks, mumbling about how they were making her do things she.    didn't want to do.

     Hurricane settled back into his seat. "This place is bumpin', yeah?" He gestured over to DJPON3, grinning. "Hurricane likey. How much you wanna bet I could get her number, Sarc?"

     Sarcasm looked at Hurricane, his usual unimpressed stare plastered on his face. "Twenty bits."

     Hurricane flew up again. He seems to frequently do that throughout this story, now that I mention it again. Anyway, he trots away from the table toward DJPON3 and her DJ booth. Sarcasm watched him go. When he was out of eaeshot, he leaned over to Ethelind. "Got twenty bits, just in case he succeeds?"

     Ethelind rolled her eyes. Her magic lit up and twenty bits appeared on the table in front of Sarcasm. "You're going to pay me back, I assume?"

     Sarcasm grinned and nodded. "Sure. But you know what they say about assuming. It makes an-"

"Please stop."

     Spade returned with six mugs of cider. She slid one over to each respective pony, excluding Hurricane, because he wasn't there. "Where's Egomaniac?" Spade asked.

     "He's at the DJ booth with DJPON3. He bet Sarcasm that he could get her number," Blaze said, snickering. "I actually hope he does. Just to see Sarcasm fail again."

     Sarcasm took a swig of his drink, belching loudly after. "Fuck you, Blaze. He's coming back."

     Hurricane had a smug look on his face, clearly showing he had bullshitted his way through his current situation. She strode over to the table and flew back into his seat.

"Got it, jackass."

     Sarcasm slammed his hoof onto the table. "Dammit! Well shit, lemme see."

     Hurricane held up a slip of paper, passing it to Sarcasm.

     Sarcasm read it aloud. "Call me so we can work on a collab, Vinyl Scratch. That's bullshit!!"

     "No, I said get her number. I never said how," Hurricane said, winking.

     "Shit." Sarcasm pushed the twenty bits over to him.

     Hurricane grinned and took the bits. "Thank you, good sir. Spade, pass me my drink."

     "Five bits," Spade said. "You want booze, you gotta pay. Either way."

     Hurricane frowned and scooped the bits up in his arms. "Fuck you then. I'll go buy my own." He flew up and over to the actual bar. "How many mugs of hard cider can I get with twenty bits," he said to the bartender.

     The bartender frowned. "Around six. Why do you need that many?"

"I'm gonna drink them, of course."

     The bartender shook his head and went to go get the drinks. When he came back, Hurricane was sitting on a barstool, looking impatient. The bartender gave him his six drinks and told him to go nuts. He also took the eighteen bits it took to buy six drinks.

     Hurricane downed all but two of the mugs. He flew back to the table, where Ethelind and Sarcasm were in an argument about whether or not 'Headshot' was spelled with or without a space.

     "Headshot has no space!" Sarcasm was saying.

     Ethelind looked at him calmly. "Sarcasm, honestly, this is pointless. It can be spelled both ways. It just depends on the context."

"I'm im PoD context! What context are you in? It obviously makes no sense!"

     "I'm in the context of real life. There should be no other context." She tried a sip of her drink. "Gross. Alcohol." She turned to Trock. "Want it?"

     Hurricane sat down next to Ethelind and Sarcasm again. "No, but I do."

     Spade rolled her eyes and swiped the drink. "That's tree for me." She chugged the contents of the mug and slid the empty container to Hurricane. "Still want it?"

     "Thanks, asshole," Hurricane mumbled, setting his own drinks on the table.

     Ethelind scowled. "How many mugs of cider have you had?"

"Four. Why?"

     Ethelind's eyes got wide. "How are you not drunk?"

     "I'm a DJ. I do this almost three times a week." Hurricane took a long drink of one mug, curling his wing around the other to protect it.

     Spade looked around for a moment. "Hey, why haven't Trock, Blaze, and I had many lines in this chapter?"

That's just how the chapter is written.

     The six ponies all looked up at the same time. "What on Equestria was that?" they all said simultaneously.

I obviously was talking to Spade. Not you all. Carry on.

     Yet again simultaneously, the six blinked.

     "Ohhhkay," Trock said. "That was odd."

     "Do you think anyone else heard that?" Spade asked.

     "Nope," Blaze piped. "I guess we're all just insane."

And so the ponies had a fourth wall breaking moment with yours truly. Next chapter shall be soon.